Leaning back against the wall on the stairs, Jessica surprises herself by reaching her hand out to grip Jake's arms. They both stare at the contact—both of them confused at the tingles that spread up their arms like waves crashing on the shore—then find each other's eyes again.
"Will you come to bed with me?" Jess asked nervously.
Jake raises an eyebrow, shocked at what she said.
Jess wanted to mentally slap herself. "Sorry, I just realised how that sounded. It's just ugh..." She paused and bit her lip. She noticed Jake shift uncomfortably from one foot to the other.
"I haven't slept here since being with Adam. I'm not in his room or anything. I told Grace I couldn't cope with that. But it just feels strange being here without him. Will you just sit on the bed with me until I fall asleep?"
Jake ran his hand through his hair. He looked uncomfortable at the request.
"I'm sorry!" Jess said and turned to make her way up the stairs, her face glowing with embarrassment. "It was stupid and wrong of me to ask. Please, just forget I said anything."
Jake caught up with her at the top of the stairs. He gripped her wrist and pulled her to a stop, using his other hand to tip her chin so he could see her face. "Don't be silly; I understand. Of course I'll come with you."
They made their way to the bedroom, and Jake grabbed one of the guest dressing gowns before sitting on the bed. Why, oh, why did he take that Batman costume off?
Jess grabbed her pyjamas and went into the ensuite to get changed. He found himself nervous. Did he just sit on the edge of the bed? Did he move to make himself more comfortable? He didn't know how to navigate this situation without making it look like he expected anything from her.
He ended up plumping the pillows and leaning back against the headrest, his head feeling light from all the alcohol.
She came out of the bathroom, and Jake had to clench his jaw to stop it from falling open. Though he was unable to advert his eyes. Her make-up was gone, and her curls had been brushed out into waves around her. She was wearing plain silk pyjamas in a soft pink that suited her figure.
"Are you sure you don't mind?" Jess asked, climbing into bed next to him.
He shook his head, no, but his heart was thumping yes. Yes, he did mind! How could he do this—lie next to her, touch her, smell her, and not caress her cheek or kiss her lips? It was an impossible task, and she had no right to ask for it from him.
But yet, he couldn't say no.
She settled beneath the blanket as he reached behind him to turn the lights off. She snuggled forward, her head resting on his thigh, which was only covered by the thin material of the dressing gown.
He looked up to the skies, praying that if there was a god, that he would give him the strength to behave.
"Thank you, Jake." She whispered, barely loud enough for him to hear. Her voice soothed him. His hand found her hair, unable to resist the red waves as he ran his fingers through it. A soft moan left her lips at the touch. His hand stilled for a moment before continuing.
Looking down at her, he again marvelled at how beautiful she was. Those eyes were closed, but he knew how green they were, reminding him of a forest on a crisp spring morning. Her lashes were naturally long, resting gently on her cheeks, which were scattered with freckles.
As he watched her, her breathing got deeper and her breaths more even. She was asleep, and it was torture to see her this way. He wanted to see her like this every morning and every night. Her beautiful face was soft, with no worries or pain.
Unable to watch her anymore, he shifted himself out from under her head, placing a plump pillow underneath her instead.
He left her then, but not before lingering at the door once more to watch her. He tried to remember the curve of her body, her soft pink lips slightly open as she slept. He engraved it in his memory forever because he knew he could never see her like this again.
***
"Jake." She whispered his name like a caress. It warmed him through to hear her say his name. His body and his soul felt fuzzy at just the sound.
They were sitting on the beach. The sand was warm to the touch beneath them as they lay on top of it. The turquoise sea was lapping gently at their feet. He opened his eyes and watched her, lying on her back in a white bikini, her red hair fanning around her like flames.
She was wearing black shades, which covered his view of her leaf green eyes, and it made him want to reach over and remove them just so he could see how they'd light up when she saw him.
"Yes, love?" He asked, rolling on to his side so he could get a better view of her.
"Can we stay here? Forever?" She begged, turning her head towards him fully.
Her lips turned into a small smile, creating those dimples he longed to kiss on her cheeks.
She was beautiful, but like this, with the sun beating down on her and her skin sprinkled with sand, she was magical.
"Forever." He promised and leaned over, unable to deny himself the warmth of her lips pressed against his anymore.
She smiled into his kiss. He took his time, enjoying the feel of her lips on his. But soon, things turned more heated. Her hands were in his hair, pulling him on top of her. She kissed him like she needed him to survive, and that's exactly how he felt. She was the air he needed to breathe and the water he needed to drink.
She was everything.
She rolled him onto his back and straddled him, her hands pinning him to the floor as she kissed him deeper. Her hair created a red hue around them as it shielded him from the sun, but he could see her clearly as he freed his hands and pushed her back to admire her face.
He ran his hands down her body, feeling every curve. He loved every inch of her.
She grinned down at him before kissing his jaw, her teeth grazing his skin. His nails dug into her thigh, then he reached higher to grab her ass, slipping his fingers underneath her bikini bottoms, unable to deny himself.
Tingles ran down his body at the contact, all the way to his toes, which were still in the warm water as the sea continued to lap around them.
He was sure there were people watching them, but he didn't care. He just wanted her and needed her all around him.
She felt so good.
But he needed to take control.
***
Rolling over in bed, he hugged a pillow instead of her.
He realised that he had been dreaming, and he closed his eyes tightly, hoping to find the dream once more.
But it was hopeless.
With a sigh, he sat up. The room swayed to life, and he groaned at the thumping headache that soon followed. Did he really drink that much? He had a vague memory of finding half a bottle of whisky and taking it to bed with him last night. But why? Why did he do that?
A blur of memories came to him quickly.
Jessica in that unforgettable Jessica Rabbit costume.
Emily throwing her engagement ring at him.
Leaning against Jessica's bedroom door as he preyed that she would just open it to him.
Karaoke, with him and Jessica singing together. Her singing Left Outside Alone, her eyes never leaving his as she looked at him for encouragement.
A game of truth or dare. Stripping off his Batman costume. Ugh, why did he do that?
A kiss?
Kissing Jessica.
A forbidden kiss that should never have happened.
A cuddle in bed that made him long for her even more.
Fuck.
What he would give to be able to hold her like that again.
He groaned and led back down.
He kissed her. He couldn't believe he had actually kissed her. It had been on his mind for so long—the desire was all too consuiming. But he had never given in before. He knew he could never do it. He shouldn't have done it in the first place. He could have kissed anyone at that party—any girl. He was sure he could have taken things further with a few of them, too. But he knew that no eyes could have competed with hers; he knew without even looking that there was no one else.
Plus, he just wanted to. Mixing alcohol and desire leaves no room for common sense.
Her lips—her soft, delict lips on his—were the worst thing that could ever have happened to him. Because now he knew how she felt, now he knew what he was missing out on.
And he craved it even more.
Sometimes being in the dark was the worst thing, but now he longed for it. Because he knew now that no other person could compare.
He sat up again and got changed quickly. Muttering regrets to himself as he packed the rest of his belongings in his bag, he headed to Jessica's room to apologise again.
He knocked a few times, but she didn't answer. Eventually, he opened the door and found the room bare. She was gone.
He still couldn't believe he had done it. Even though Adam was gone, it didn't change the fact that she was his. Even in death, she would always be his.
He had also betrayed the one rule between friends. Never go for your best friend's girl. But he did. He did kiss her, and even though he couldn't fully regret it, he was still plagued with guilt about what he had done.
"Good morning." Grace welcomed him as he staggered into the kitchen. She turned to look at him, and seeing his dishevelled state, her face fell. "Is this an orange juice or a strong coffee kind of morning?"
"Definitely a coffee kind of morning." He answered and sat at the breakfast bar, his head in his hands as he squinted at her in the bright morning light.
She gave him a sorrowful look as she poured him a cup of coffee. She passed him the cup, which he accepted gratefully, and then popped two pieces of bread into the toaster.
"You looked like you had fun last night, apart from the whole Emily fiasco." She scrunched her nose. "I'm glad about that, though. I didn't like her. She wasn't the right one for you."
He frowned. "What do you mean?"
"You didn't... click. I could tell. You seemed like a different person around her."
He thought about the person he had become since meeting her. The change of clothes, the new hair do, the new job—she had completely changed who he was. Some things he didn't mind; the job was great; some of the clothes he didn't mind. But he missed writing his own music in the evenings, which she didn't like. He missed wearing his band t-shirts and going to concerts. He hadn't really done any of those things since he met Emily.
He nodded in agreement and took a swig of his drink. "No, I don't think we did. It's a good thing it's over, I guess."
"Don't listen to me; you do whatever you want to do, sweetie." She gently touched his cheek, and he relaxed a little at her touch. The toast popped up. "I just think you're better suited with someone else."
Jessica instantly flashed in his mind.
She loved his band shirts, even buying him some as gifts for his birthday. She would tag along to any concerts he and Adam went to. He found that he played most of his music to her. She loved to hear it. In fact, while writing the stuff, he couldn't wait to play it for her just to see her reaction. Alongside Adam, she was one of his biggest supporters.
Did Grace know? Did she guess his feelings?
"Do you have anyone in mind?"
She smiled as she buttered the toast, then brought the food to him. "That's not for me to say. You have to figure that out."
He took a bite of the toast, feeling better as he swallowed the goods.
"I just think if you're going to marry someone, which is a big lifelong commitment, shouldn't that someone be your best friend?" She added, then stood and gently kissed his head before leaving the kitchen.
Maybe rumours of the kiss had gotten back to her; he was sure she had made her way to bed before it happened.
Her words, though meant to be comforting and supportive, had the opposite effect. Instead of easing his concerns, Grace's knowledge only made his chest tighter with guilt.
***
Jessica woke up the next morning alone.
The room was dark, Jake was gone, and her head felt a little fragile.
But she slept, which is more than she expected to do in Adams' house.
She climbed out of bed and made her way to his room. She had avoided it, afraid of how she would feel surrounded by him. His bedroom had been untouched since he was a boy. It would be so personal to him that she was afraid of how it would make her feel.
She lingered by the door for a breath, trying to get the power to push the door open, but she couldn't. She couldn't see it. She knew how it looked: posters all over the walls, a single bed in the middle of the room, a desk, and a computer in the far corner. He still had a model plane that he had made from Lego from his childhood that hung from the ceiling, and she just couldn't face it.
She ran back to her room, packed up her things, and fled before anyone else woke up.
Jessica rushed home and found her bed instantly.
She doesn't leave it all day, curling up inside the blankets and finding herself protected from the world around her.
She missed him so much.
In the evening, she finally left her make-shift cave and found food and water.
She made a ham sandwich and, without fully realising what she was doing, headed to her airing cupboard. Inside are boxes and boxes of Adams things. Letters, notes, clothes, hats, shoes, and photos.
Everything she couldn't get rid of. Every piece of him was here.
She pulled the box of his photos out and sat on the floor. There were photo albums of his childhood—him on a skateboard, him falling off the skateboard. Playing rugby, playing cricket, bath time. She flicked through, watching the man she loved grow and grow. Her eyes were blinking back the tears.
She needed to feel close to him. She felt so guilty after that kiss with Jake; she thought she would melt away like the wicked witch in The Wizard of Oz. So, she needed to see Adam to feel like he was near. She grabbed one of his hoodies and put it on, smelling the fabric. The scent of him was so faint now that if you didn't know how Adam smelled, you wouldn't be able to notice it all. But she did, and she breathed it all in.
She continued looking through the photo albums, allowing herself to laugh and cry if she needed to. But no tears fell; they just lingered in her eyes and burned. Then she found photos of Jake too.
He was everywhere.
Jake was in all of them: every Christmas party, Halloween, New Year's Eve, birthday's... It was impossible to remember Adam without Jake being involved too.
She opened a photo album, and they both looked older now, maybe in their late teens. They were hiking, climbing up mountains, swimming under waterfalls, fishing on a large lake, and camping under the open sky. She remembered them telling her about this trip. Adam had said that he had visited many places in the world, but this week away with Jake was one of his favourites. They visited the Brecon Beacons in Wales, climbing Pen-y-Fan mountain and camping under the stars. Jess had never visited Wales but had always wanted to go. It was legendary for its lush mountainous landscape, and she thought she'd feel right at home there.
She wanted to touch every photo, her finger lingering on both Adam and Jake as her heart swelled at the sight of them.
She shut the album hard and placed everything back in the box, unable to deal with her deceitful heart.
***
Thank you so much everyone for reading this far!
And a big special thank you to Lara for helping me plan ideas out and noticing any errors! I'd be lost without your support X this chapter is for you ❤️
Love, Shunice x