Ray's Pov
I'm in the Ravenclaw common room with Norman and I have questions racing through my head, questions which I will probably never get the answer to. What the actual fuck was Emma on about? Why would Y/n want us to ignore her? Or even avoid her? She hates when people don't pay attention to her, so why would she want us to not pay attention to her? I have considered the fact that Emma may be playing a prank on me, but she told everyone, including Norman, and she would never lie to him, considering she's in love with him and all.
I would go up and approach Y/n to see if Emma is telling the truth, but based on interactions from the past couple of weeks, I don't think that it would necessarily end well. It would end with me having more questions than I did at the start, and a pissed off Y/n.
"Ray? Is everything alright?" Norman asks as he sees my distressed state.
"Norman," He raises his eyebrow, as if questioning what I'm gonna say next. "You have a humongous forehead. You'd think with all that forehead you would have a bigger brain and you'd know whether or not I'm alright or not."
"Excuse me?" Norman looks taken aback at my response to him. He tries moving his hair over his forehead and I let out a small sigh.
"Sorry. I shouldn't have taken my frustration out on you like that. It was wrong of me, and I shouldn't have said what I said... even if it is true." I grumble the last bit so he doesn't hear me and gets offended.
"It's fine Ray, I get that you're frustrated," I scoff and kick the ground at his statement. "I'm pretty sure we all are a bit frustrated about Y/n's current behavior. But we do have to trust her, if she wants us to avoid her, then we should do that. It's probably for the best if Y/n wants us to do it." As much as I don't want to admit it, he's right. I have to learn to trust her decisions, even if they're so stupid sometimes.
"Alright... I guess you're right Norman. For once you've actually said something somewhat smart." He just ignores the last comment and continues talking.
"Trust her a bit more, alright? She'll be fine." Word after word he continues on about his little rant about how I shouldn't be worried about her. My brain feels like jelly trying to keep up with him. It's not that I don't want to believe what he's saying is true, it's just that I'm tired and can't process things.
I drone out what Norman is saying. I try to focus on more of what Y/n is going through. I don't think any child who goes through what she may be going through would isolate herself the way she is.
"I'm more mature than you guys." A sentence from a conversation Y/n and I had once runs through my mind.
"I'm gonna go to my dorm." I interrupt Norman while standing up. I hear his complaints from behind me as I walk out and head to my dorm. I feel dizzy and I need to rest for a bit, so I'm gonna go to sleep probably.
Y/n's Pov
I'm laying down on my bed and pick up a journal from my bedside table. It was a gift from one of my house elves. It was a special journal, there was a second journal as they came in a pair. Someone else has the other journal, we don't know where it is though. Someone else has bought it. Apparently if you write in these journals, whoever has the other one can respond to it and see what you wrote. It sounds a lot like that message app on phones. I might as well give it a try, I've had it for almost a year now and I haven't used it. Plus, I need to rant. I sit at the next desk across from my bed and take out a quill and some ink.
Hello. I write down. Hopefully the other person sees it.
Hello. Oh wow, someone actually responded
Oh hi, I didn't expect anyone to actually respond.
I didn't expect anyone to actually write in this
So, how are you?
I'm good, I guess. I could be better. You?
I'm alright. Keeping on, keeping on.
I know you're writing and all, but you sound emotionally constipated
Wow, thank you stranger. I'll have you know that I'm not emotionally constipated.
You sound emotionally constipated.
I'm not!
Well what's wrong?
Nothing, you rude stranger.
Merlin, chill out a bit dude.
Fine. What do you want to know?
What's making you sound emotionally constipated?
Something in my life.
Wow. Real descriptive. I never would've guessed
You asked what was wrong so I told you what was wrong.
I was hoping for something more descriptive
Fine. I'll give you something more descriptive. It has to do with my childhood.
Descriptive my ass. That was hardly helpful
Ugh what do you want me to say?
What's wrong with you
Why are you even talking to me? Not like I hate it since I need the company, but why? Don't you have other things to do?
Not really
You must lead a depressing life.
I do, I really do
And how would talking to me make it better?
Because I get drama or something I guess
Wow. Is my life just entertainment to you? Is that all my life is to you?
Since I don't know you, yeah
I admire you for your honesty.
As you should, now what's going on in your life? Tell me literally everything that's going on sister
I'm not your sister.
Just hurry up
Well so basically I'm having a mental breakdown about my life everyday now. I'm in deep shit because of childhood memories (trauma).
How come?
I have to deal with stuff other people my age don't have to deal with. People refer to me as a "child" and I hate it.
Aren't you a child though? If they call you a child, you're most likely a child
I'm the age of what you would refer to someone to be as a child, but I'm not a child. I grew up faster than other people. I didn't need the comfort of childhood dreams or a "parent's embrace".
And you said I lead a depressing life. Sorry sorry, continue. Why aren't you a child?
I'm more mature than other people my age. I'm more mature because I've had to adapt to situations no kid should be put through. I don't like people referring to me as a child, because mentally I am not a child. I feel selfish and childish writing this to a stranger I met over a journal, but I don't care at this point. My emotions are overflowing to the point where I need to let them out before anyone asks me if I'm ok, because if they do ask if I'm ok, I will burst into tears on the spot, end up telling them everything, and get expelled.
That sounds upsetting. I think you have to realize that if you do think like this though, you still are mentally a child. Or you have an inner child wanting to be healed. Yeah, it's the inner child one
I don't have an inner child, because I am not a child.
Inner child and being a child are two different things smartass
Whatever, the point is that I'm not a child.
Do you want my take on this?
No, not really.
Well you're going to get it anyways
Considerate.
I understand what you mean when you say "I'm not a child" now, but I have to say, you still are a child. Don't get mad at me for saying that, because you are a child. Just because you matured faster than others doesn't mean you're not a child. Just because you didn't need the comfort of childhood dreams doesn't mean you're not a child. Even if you had childhood dreams, it's not like it would matter. After all, dreams are too easily shattered. Sorry, that's a subject for another time (if we still talk, you know you know). But just because you don't act like a child, doesn't mean that you don't have an inner child
I don't have an inner child.
Yes, you do, and it's waiting to be healed. Come forth and sacrifice it so I can bless it with childhood trauma healer potion
I'm good. I'd prefer not to.
Fine then, suit yourself. I need to go to sleep before I pass out. I'll talk to you later I guess
Yeah, talk to you later.
Maybe I'll try eventually healing my inner child
Chapter Fifty-Three End