(tyler's pov)
Jessica ended up taking me to a nearby cafe with outdoor seating. She insisted that we sat outside. It was around dusk on a Thursday afternoon, and the air was sticky and a bit humid. A couple of people were out and around town, passing us by. Jessica was sitting across from me, smoking a cigarette. It would've been a blunt if we weren't in public.
She took a drag before exhaling a long cloud of fumes. "I don't want to see you anymore, Tyler."
Jessica had on huge, flashy sunglasses that covered most of her face. A simple grey dress drooped off of her sharp shoulders. She breathed in the toxic smoke from her cigarette, waiting for my response.
"Why's that?"
She shrugged. Another long pause sat in the air. I took a bite out of my untouched panini that Jessica bought me. She watched as a couple walked by, before lowering her head.
"You look like there's more on your mind than what you're saying." I said quietly. Jessica's head snapped to me, releasing a cynical chuckle.
"Yeah, there is. Way to read me." She took another hit of her cigarette, coughing in the process. "Shit," she mumbled.
"Wanna talk about it?" I tried to get more out of her. Jessica chucked the rest of her cigarette to the ground, grinding it out with her foot.
"What's there to talk about?"
"The way you've been acting?"
Her head cocked to the side as she rubbed her neck. She was quiet the whole night, smoking blunt after blunt, cigarette after cigarette. A faint smell of alcohol reeked off of her frail body.
She sighed. "Tyler, I'm not even supposed to be here, in this state." Jessica leaned in, her elbows now on the table. Her sharp face rested in one of her palms, while the other stirred her drink. "I told you how I'm from Camden. I decided to fly down to here for a week or so... to escape some troubles at home." A slender hand ran through her hair.
"What do you mean by troubles?" I raised my eyebrows.
Jessica took a small pause before continuing. "I have this guy back home. He's.." Her voice trailed off as a man walked by. "He's not, ideal. In the least. I thought he was."
"So you have a boyfriend?" I couldn't help but ask. She could've used the word boyfriend instead of 'guy back home'. A grimace appeared on her face.
"You'd pity me if I'd used that word." Jessica's voice was full of sadness. "He's been causing too many problems at home. So I saved up some money, and took a plane down here. It was nice and far away from home."
"He wouldn't care if you left?"
"He didn't care about me in the first place."
Another pause occurred. I didn't expect Jessica to be this type of person behind her ravishing exterior. She looked away again before returning to speak.
"It really fucking sucks when you're always someone's second choice, you know that?" Jessica yanked out another cigarette and lit it, taking a long, tedious drag. "Every day, I would wait around in our apartment, expecting him to come home after school. I didn't go to college, but he did. We lived close to his campus. I would sit around, and wait. Wait for him to get home. He wouldn't come home until 12 am. It was so rare that bastard came straight home after classes. It was just me, living in that shitty apartment."
She took another drag, her hands shaking as they adjusted her sunglasses. "He was cheating on me. He would come home drunk, and fuck me out of pure lust. He wouldn't even call me my name. It was a new name every night. Sarah. Lucy. Brianna. Ally. All different. Every name but mine. I was so tired of being someone to release his shitty semen into when he came home. I wanted more."
I never thought I'd see the day when I saw this side of a girl. Jessica was about two more lines away from breaking down. Her face contorted and twisted with each detail of her past that rolled off of her tongue.
"I'm always sleeping with someone different now. You know how good it feels to have a guy moan your name? Not some other bitch you never met?" She twirled her cigarette between her fingers. "It's even better when they want you back. 'When are you coming back around?' 'Shit, you feel so good Jess'. I live for it. It makes me feel worth it. That piece of shit back around my way didn't. He never claimed me."
The sky was getting dark. It had to be around quarter before 9. Stars were starting to appear, and the buildings downtown were starting to light up. It was a cloudless night, and a cool breeze rolled amongst the city.
"But what's funny, is that I still find a way to miss him." Jessica took a drag of her cigarette. "Maybe I'm still waiting for him to return to his old self. Holding on to something that's never going to happen. Silly, right?" She cracked a smile.
I shrugged. "Jess, I- I don't know what to say. It must be har-"
"Nah, don't say it. You're pitying me. I don't need that." A toothy grin appeared on her face. "I was always self-sufficient. Me feeling bad for myself is more than enough. I don't need someone else to do it." Jessica looked at the cigarette lodged between her fingers. "I really am one, twisted piece of shit." Her index finger pushed her sunglasses back up her face. "There's no use crying about it, though."
"Don't say th-" I stopped myself before she could.
She looked at me smiling, inhaling the cigarette. "That's why I'm so adamant about your girl back home. She looks really familiar to me, and if she is who I think she is.." Jess trailed off and looked up, shaking her head. "I'm screwed."
A smile stayed on her lips as she exhaled more smoke, releasing a small cough. I furrowed my eyebrows. "Who do you think she is?" I shifted in my seat, reading Jessica's face. I came up short, for the smile was still hanging around.
"Just a good friend." Shivers went up my spine as she sent the term of endearmant my way. "Why are you getting so worked up?"
"I- I don't know." I ran a hand over my shaggy facial hair. I was long overdue for a shave.
"Tyler, there's a carnival coming to town this weekend." Jess threw the cigarette to the ground, stomping and twisting it's contents out for the second time tonight. "You should take her there."
"Why would I take her to a carnival?" I couldn't help but laugh. We were in our earlier twenties, what would we find fun at a kid's carnival?
"To apologize for being such a shitty boyfriend?" Her face was hidden behind her shades, but I knew it had a look of annoyance on it.
"I'm not her boyfriend. Trust me, I'm anything but."
"But you want to be right?"
I always got caught up when questions like these were asked. Savannah's flawless smile and brown waves were all I could picture now.
"I- I mean, I don't see why not." I shrugged.
"So then get to the point with her! What the hell are you so scared of?"
I shrugged again, rubbing the back of my neck. "I- I don't know. She's intimidating."
Jessica's mouth dropped open. "What! She's anything but." She pulled out her purse, looking for money to pay the bill. "Tyler, take her to that carnival. Please. It's at some high school near the suburbs." She threw a couple of twenties on the table. "It'll be fun."
Me and Savannah at a carnival? It couldn't be too bad. I could imagine her eyes lighting up when she would beat me at game. Those infamous brown waves, flying through the air on a Ferris wheel. She would punch my bicep when I would force her onto a ride.
I could feel my face burning as I imagined her in all her beauty, walking around with me at a carnival. "Yeah, I guess it would be fun. But lately, she's been mad at me. I can tell."
Jessica raised her eyebrows. "And how's that?"
"Well," I reminisced on Sav's attitude when I reprimanded her when she took my car out. "She took my car out for a drive to get some sunflower seeds. She didn't ask to drive my car at all, and she didn't even tell me that she went. I was sleep while she drove it to the store. And then, she's so stubborn, because I tell her she shouldn't be doing that stuff since she just recovered from a concussion."
"A concussion, huh? How'd that happen?" Jessica asked.
"I was getting a little too happy on the ice. Tried to block a shot on a breakaway, my wrist went weird, and fired the puck into the crowd. Hit her right in the forehead."
She sucked her teeth, shaking her head. "And that's how you met, I'm guessing?"
I nodded my head. "Pretty crazy, right?"
"Cool way to meet the love of your life. That's an act of God right there." Jessica laughed. "But yeah, that sounds like something she would do. Stealing someone's car when she's mad? Definitely." A genuine smile lingered on her face. She shook her head, still smiling.
"Wait, so you do know her?" I asked.
Jessica laughed, not answering my question. "It's a small word, Tyler. A small, unforgiving world."