Harlow
Pierce led me around the house to a garage I had never been inside of before, opening the door for me where a sparkly white car that I'm sure cost a fortune was sitting in pristine condition. He opened the door for me and held my hand, helping me to adjust my dress before closing it. He rounded the car and slid in behind the wheel before starting the car.
"How many miles are on this? One hundred?" I tease him. He chuckles and reaches across the center console to pinch my thigh playfully.
"No. Two hundred." he shoots back making me tilt my head back to laugh.
He pulls out through the gate, hitting a button to close it before punching the gas. The car revs loud as we peel down the street, him laughing as I hold on to the door handle nervously. He slows down quickly, chuckling as he reaches over to grab my hand.
"I'm sorry, sweetheart." he says, still grinning.
"I'm terrified of car accidents." I murmur. He squeezes my hand before lifting it to his mouth and pressing a firm kiss to my palm.
"I'm sorry, Harlow. I'll go slower." he says, slowing the car down. I breathe a little easier, looking out the window. The snow covered ground glistens in the waning light and I relax into the plush seat, linking our fingers together and resting them on my thigh.
We drive in companionable quiet for almost an hour. I'm surprised by the location of the mansion, I never would have guessed how easy it is to find based on the out of the way location. It's basically a straight shot from town. Soon the lights from town appear and I start to get excited. I see the grocery store I always used to go to, my favorite park to walk around on nice fall afternoons, my doctors' office and even the hospital I worked at towering high in the distance. Pierce turns away from it though and drives towards the nicer part of town, stopping in front of a restaurant I never would have considered going into before.
"This place is fancy." I whisper to him. He chuckles and looks over at me as he puts the car in park.
"Why are you whispering, love?" he asks, whispering back.
"Just to see if you'd match my vibe." I shrug. He laughs again and leans forward to kiss me before getting out and opening the door for me.
"You didn't want to use valet?" I ask and he shakes his head.
"It weirds me out. Strangers being in my car." he says as he holds onto my hand a little tight, liking he's using me for strength.
"That's alright." I say, giving him a gentle squeeze. "It's a nice night. I like the walk." I add as we walk slowly towards the door. It's a little chilly, but after being stuck in the house for the last couple of months I'll suck in the cold air greedily. We climb the stairs and head towards the hostess stand. She looks up at us and smiles kindly.
"We have a reservation under the name Arnoult." Pierce says.
"Of course. Follow me." she says, grabbing some menus and showing us to a small table in a closed off section. Pierce pulls out my chair and I sit, eyeing him curiously.
"What?" he asks.
"Are we diseased or something?" I ask, motioning towards the empty tables around us. He laughs and shakes his head.
"No. I just don't like to eat with people right next to me. I thought this would be a nice compromise." he explains. I nod and reach for his hand again, not wanting to stop touching him.
"It's nice. I like it." I say gently, smiling over at him until he blushes adorably.
The food is delicious, but I can't help but notice the way Pierce fidgets, seemingly uncomfortable. I've never seen him in a public setting like this and I wonder if this is normal for him. If it's really this difficult for him to be around other people. He goes slightly quiet, answering me when I talk to him but not much else.
"Are you alright?" I ask him quietly when the waitress leaves. He looks up at me and reaches for me, clinging to my hand.
"I'm sorry." he murmurs.
"For what?" I ask. He sighs and I move my chair closer to him, hoping that will make him feel better.
"I'm just... I'm not good at these things." he says, reminding me of the outburst he had when he first took me to the mansion. I smile a little at the memory and start gliding my thumb across the back of his hand to soothe him.
"It's okay, baby. I'm not either." I say. He gives me a warm look that makes me feel light and leans towards me to kiss my cheek. He takes a deep breath before launching into a conversation about work, asking my opinion on how to handle a difficult employee that's gotten lazy lately.
The rest of the meal is very pleasant, even though I didn't drink any wine with it. I want to be clear headed for later. But by the end Pierce is clearly distraught, his leg fidgeting under the table. I start to worry that there's something else going on making him so nervous. The waitress brings the check and he pays, taking a heavy breath before standing and wrapping his arm around my waist.
He's quiet as we leave the building, holding onto me tightly as we walk towards the parking lot. I'm not sure what to say, so I walk silently next to him. We're near his car when he stops suddenly. He takes another deep breath and moves to stand so he's facing me, holding both of my hands in his palms. I watch him curiously, not exactly sure what's going on when something catches my eye.
"Is that my car?" I ask, recognizing the dancing mermaid on the dash.
"Yes." Pierce says.
"Why is it here?" I ask, watching as Pierce pulls my keys from his pocket and I wonder if he's had them the whole time.
"I love you, Harlow." he says, his tone grave and my hearts drops into my stomach.
"I love you, too." I whisper back, dreading where this conversation is going.
"I want to believe that, sweetheart. I really do." he says. "But how can I? I stole you away, kept you hidden, made myself the only other person in your whole life. I didn't give you any alternatives." he says and tears prick my eyes.
"Pierce..." I murmur but he shakes his head slightly like he's not done.
"Harlow, when it comes to you, I'm fucking greedy. I want all of you. Every inch of your heart, every wisp of your soul. I want it all to be mine. And I can't live with the thought that you will never truly be able to do that because I didn't give you the choice. It's kind of ironic, if you think about it. All that time all I wanted was to live my own life the way I wanted to and almost immediately after I get what I've always asked for, I take all of your options away. It was cruel, what I did. Unfair and not right. But I can't find myself to regret it. Because these last few months with you? Even if it's all I get, it's better than never experiencing it." he goes quiet and a tear tracks down my face. I feel like he's saying goodbye and the thought pierces through me like a bolt lightning, cracking my ribcage in two as pain splits through me. "I have no idea what I was thinking when I kidnapped you. I hadn't really thought it through, to be honest. I was blindsided by overwhelming love, my addiction to you and the anxiety of having you out in the world all alone gave me. I didn't put you first. That's what you do when you truly love someone, sweetheart. You put them first. Even if it rips a hole in your chest."
"What are you saying?" I ask, my voice quivering as I angrily wipe my face with the back of my hand.
"I'm setting you free, love." he murmurs, reaching up to rub his thumb across my cheek with a sad smile on his face. "I want you to go home. To go back to your life. Your old job is waiting for you, whenever you want it. And if you come back to me? Well, it'll be your choice this time. Not mine."
"What do you mean? You don't want me to come home with you?" I ask, my voice trembling as my body begins to shake, my mind running a thousand miles a minute. He scoffs slightly, like my words are ridiculous. He reaches out quickly, using both of his hands to hold my face. I reach up, circling my fingers around his wrist and try to keep myself steady.
"Harlow. There is nothing in this world I want more than you. Never doubt that, love. Never." he says, kissing my forehead hard before pulling away to look down at me again. "But you need to decide if you want me." he says before letting go of my face. He reaches for my hand and places my keys in my palm. I can barely see them through the tears clouding my vision. "I will be here. I will wait for you. Forever. But if you decide you don't want me, that you don't love me, I'll leave you alone. I promise." he whispers, his voice tortured like even uttering the words causes him pain.
"I love you, Harlow." he says, kissing my cheek before turning abruptly on his heel.
I watch through my tears as he hurries to his car, revs the engine and takes off quickly down the road like he'll change his mind if he doesn't hurry. I let out a sob, looking around, but no one's watching me.
Unsure what else to do, I climb into my car. I see my purse on the seat and pull out my wallet, my drivers license is in there as well as my debit card. It looks like he renewed my car insurance while he had me and the thought makes me cry harder.
I barely remember the drive home, setting myself on autopilot like I used to do after a draining shift at the hospital. I arrive at my old house and drag myself up the stairs. I unlock the door and turn on the light, the light smell of cleaning supplies the first thing to greet me. The whole place is spotless, but it no longer feels like home.
It feels empty.
I walk through the small space, opening the fridge to see it fully stocked with all of my favorites, everything brand new and unopened. I go to the bathroom and my bedroom, brand new clothes and products in each of them. I sob again, falling onto my clean, freshly made bed. I let my tears and make up stain the fabric, not caring for their pristine condition. A red blinking light catches my eye and I see my phone plugged in on the nightstand.
I unlock it and see that it still works. Pierce obviously paid the bills. I go through my messages and missed calls, not that there's a lot. I was gone for three months, but the only messages on my phone are from the first few weeks and even then it's only girls from work asking if I can switch them shifts.
Because no one cared about me the way Pierce did.
A fresh wave of agony goes through me. I flick through the phone a little, wondering if maybe he put his number in it. I give up after the third scroll through my contacts when I don't find his name.
Suddenly, I can't breathe. The dress becomes stifling. I try to pull the zipper down, but it ends up stuck. I don't care anymore, I just pull on it until it rips. I had hoped Pierce would be undressing me tonight, but instead here I am in my old house alone. I find something comfortable to put on and wash my face before clambering into my cold, empty bed. I wrap myself in a blanket and try to force myself to stop crying.
This night was supposed to end with me naked in Pierce's arms, not alone in this bed. Why did I want this life back so badly?
The question floats through my mind as I force myself to drift into sleep.