Disclaimer: The following contains harmful political discussions and loud screaming. Viewer discretion is advised.
It was 4 AM at the Red Team Base. Scout couldn't fall back to sleep so he decided to get himself a drink. He went into the kitchen and pulled out a can of Bonk!
"Too early in the morning for this shit." He said and cracked open the can. He starts chugging it and pulls out his phone to do...things. Before he can look up anything, he sees a twitter notification. He clicks on it, reads it...and drops the soda from his hand.
Mr. Doe
@CommieKicker1775
If we went with MacArthur's plan to nuke the Yellow River, maybe China wouldn't be mooching off our hard working American asses! God Bless America, our politicians are Commie Loving Cowards!
Scout cries out in disgust and marches straight for Soldier's room. He bangs hard on the door.
"What the hell, Soldier?!"
"Who is disturbing my morning of peace?!" Soldier demands from his room. He swings the door open and sees Scout.
"Scout, what do you want? It's Four AM, why the hell are you up so early?" He scowled.
"I want you to use every cell in your brain and figure out why you tweet this shit, man!" Scout shoves his phone screen in Soldier's face, but his helmet hangs low enough to where he probably couldn't see it.
"What?! It's true! Our current president is sucking up to the Chinese, and the Commies are trying to take over our country!"
"You do realize that what you said is insensitive, right? America isn't about nuking people, you fucking idiot!" Scout shouts.
"Of course it is!" Soldier denied. "Who are you to tell me that MacArthur was in the wrong?! And if we had used nukes in Afghanistan, all that crap about the cavemen Taliban taking over wouldn't have happened either!"
"What are you boys yappin' about? Don't you know what time it is?" Engineer stepped out into the room, not wearing his trademark helmet.
"This racist asshole thinks that we should have nuked the Tailban and the Chinese. He's like, worse than Hitler!" Scout says, getting in Soldier's face. Soldier, not backing away, meets Scout's glare head on with his own.
"It is damn true that if we had nuked them sooner, we would have dominated the entire world and it would have been way better then this dystopia!"
"I don't care about them Arabs or Chinese people." Engineer says.
Both Scout and Soldier turn to face Engineer in shocked confusion.
"WHAT?!"
"WHAT?!"
"Why should we be concerned over some distant nations?" Engineer asks, then says, "America is dying, we need to reshape it to the Confederacy once again."
"Are you fucking kidding me right now?!" Scout says, puting a hand to his head. Soldier gave the Texan the stink eye from under his helmet.
"Yeah it's the way things were always meant to be. It's natural. That's why we need Segregation Now, Segregation Tomorrow, and Segregation Forever." Engineer says, making it sound like what he just said was reasonable.
"You should seriously reconsider your words man. Segregation ain't cool!" Scout warns. Soldier was quick to agree.
"Yeah! It divides people, not unite them!" Soldier points an accusing finger at him.
"I can't stand havin' to see a Chinese Person, or a Hispanic, claimin' they're the better of me, I can't. And not to mention, Black People cause 70% of the crime."
"You make one more racist word and I'm cancelling you on Twitter, Engineer. I'm not kidding."
"Take example of South Africa, it prospered. Now it is a shithole filled with incompetent people, that's what happens when you get rid of segregation, son!"
"No, it's failed because separating people of color was morally wrong in the world, that's why Apartheid South Africa failed. Nobody liked Segregation dude!"
"You also believe in a cause that failed! How's it feel to have your asses kicked by the North, Traitor?" Soldier says smugly. Engineer scowls at the man.
"Shut your damn mouths! You two are Yankee sons of bitches!" It took a lot to make Engineer lose his cool, and Soldier did just that.
"What the bloody hell are you Blokes doin' up at four AM in the mornin'?!" Sniper enters the room, arms crossed with an irritated look. He was missing his hat.
"We're talking about politics here, just go back to bed." Scout tells the Aussie member of the Team. Sniper perks up.
"Politics?! That's my favorite discussion! I'm Lib-Right. I love my guns." He says with a proud smirk. All three Mercs look at the man.
"What the fuck? You don't need an AR-15 to protect your ass!" Scout says. Sniper's grin shifts to a frown.
"What're you talkin' about?! I don't have an AR-15 you bloody mongrel!" Sniper says. "I carry my Submachine Gun with me. I also carry my rifle. Ever heard the song: "Keep your rifle by your side"?"
"That's from a fucking game. I can't believe you take that shit seriously man!" Scout says in disbelief of Sniper's utter dumbness. "Also guns kill a lot of people, man. As Joe Biden once said: "We will take your AR-15's"!"
At this, Sniper becomes hostile.
"Oh, you want my weapons, huh? Well you're gonna have to come and take it, wanker!"
"I won't lie. You don't need those big guns anyway." Engineer says. He could understand the right to bear arms, but it wasn't necessary to have guns meant for wars and military use.
Sniper grows even more hostile, uncrossing his arms.
"Yes I bloody do!" He points a finger at Engineer. "What if some ruffian comes into my house and I didn't have a weapon? What the hell am I suppose to do? Call the police?" The Australian scoffed. "I'll be dead by the second I call them!"
"It's called obeying the law, you Australian son of a bitch!" Soldier remarks with a finger pointed straight at him. "Most shootings happen because of people like you!"
The shouting got so loud that they woke up the RED Team's Medic, not wearing his usual lab coat and red gloves.
"Vhy are you guys up early?!" He demanded, stepping in and joining the group. "We vere supposed to vake up at six AM, not fucking four AM!"
"Oh shit, it's the Nazi." Scout says in mock seriousness. Medic's eyes shot up, and he glared at Scout.
"Vhat did you just call me?!?" He demanded, offended by the racist remark.
"Why are you assuming that he's a Nazi? He could be something else!" Sniper shouts at Scout.
"What? He could be a Nazi, dude!"
"Hate to say it, but that Libtard's right. We have a Nazi on our team." Soldier says, finally agreeing with Scout on something.
"STOP CALLING ME ZHAT! I am not a goddamn Nazi! Just because I happen to be German doesn't mean I am Nationalist Socialist! You have no clue vhat you're talking about vhatsoever!" Medic screamed at the top of his lungs. He was obviously offended by being called a Nazi by his own team. He can handle Soldier's bullshit, but he refused to be called that by a failed abortion like Scout.
"Jeez, calm down dude, it was a joke." Scout tried to placate the German Doctor, but Medic wasn't having it.
"No! I am sick of your jokes, Scout! I vant you to quit calling me something zhat I'm not!" He tells him before pointing at Soldier. "As for you, Soldier, I vant you to quit calling ze Heavy a Bolshevik! I actually spoke to him and he's ze most reasonable person of everybody in zis god forsaken team!"
"He is a Russian! He is a communist!" Soldier forcefully insisted. "You are a Nazi, you are suppose to hate him, you idiot!"
Medic wanted to do badly pull out his bonesaw and remove Soldier's head to actually try and fix his braindead, well, brain. Before he could, the Engineer spoke up.
"Medic ain't no goddamn Nazi, he's one of 'em stinking socialists." Medic frowns at the Texan.
"I am not a Socialist either! I am a Democratic Technocrat!" He says, holding a closed hand over his chest.
Scout and Soldier raise an eyebrow at the Medic in confusion.
"A Democratic Techo-what?"
"Technocrat: I believe in science." Medic breaks it down for them in a way even these monkeys could understand. "Science is vhat will improve us in the future! Not your stupid ideologies and not your pitiful religion either!"
Engineer gets in front of Medic and jabs a finger at the German's chest.
"How dare you criticise God like that! What dumb son of a bitch would take you seriously?!" Engineer spat angrily. Medic pushes him back to create distance between them.
"Vhat is wrong vith my views?!" He asks, "You are ze one who thinks zhat a divine entity is telling you to do something, vhen it does not exist! God did not fuck your mom, YOUR DAD DID!"
"Everyone knows, that God is what progresses us and protects us, not your damn science!" Engineer argues. Soldier joins the conversation again, saying;
"And Democracy is weak! Just look at the US and how screwed up we now are because of these politicians!"
"Democracy is vhat makes ze individual free, and ve need more intelligent people in zis vorld!" Medic lectures, "Ze only people I vould consider intelligent are Heavy, Spy, Ms. Pauling and ze Administrator!"
"Yeah Soldier!" Scout says, frowning at the rocket jumping lunatic. "Are you a crazy Fascist like that demented Trump?"
"Trump? Fascist?" Soldier parrots, scowling. "Are you joking you hippy bastard? I am a PATRIOT, I believe in America, being the shiny beacon of the motherfucking world! We have a DUTY to spread out great ways overseas!" Soldier tells them, pride in his voice and smile. His smile didn't last as he continued. "But look at the woke Democrats and the crazy foaming Republicans! They have lost the way of the True American Patriot, and now they're making the US a circus and the Federal Government are the clowns!"
Nobody raised an argument against this particular opinion, as most of today's politicians save for Ron DeSantis and perhaps Joe Machine to an extent.
"It's time we get a good old green camo and gold stars makeover in the White House!" Soldier decalees, "It's time we have another General like Patton, Washington, or hell even Poopy Joe to be President!"
(Note from the Author: I actually don't understand why Soldier said that we should have another president like Biden. He's responsible for bringing chaos to the US, and he never even served in the military. I assume this is a mistake, but I won't correct it unless the original creator tells me so.)
"YEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-!!!"
The RED Heavy suddenly appears and starts roaring very loudly. Everyone starts getting down on their knees and covering their ears, or cradling in themselves. All while screaming in terror at the unexpected ambush.
"For the love of all that is mighty, could you all shut up? I am trying to sleep and you all are SCREAMING LIKE A BUNDLE OF SQUALING HOGS!!" Heavy shouts.
"Who the bloody hell you callin' 'squaling hogs'?! You're fat yourself!" Sniper points at Heavy in retort.
"Sniper," Heavy looks at the Aussie, making him go stiff. Heavy was already angry, best not to fuel the flames. "I will duct tape your mouth and tie up your wrists and ankles, so I can use you as a pillow!" Heavy threatened, then turns to their Patriotic Rocket jumper, "And you Soldier, knock it off with the Commie crap!"
Soldier didn't fear Heavy as much as the others, so he was quick to challenge him.
"Or what?!" He dared, "You're from Russia, you were BORN in Russia! You are a communist! I should deport you to the HUAC for UN-American attitude for this!"
"Soldier, for the last goddamn time, just because I was born in Russia, DOESN'T MEAN I AM A FUCKING COMMUNIST!" Heavy bellows at him, more irritated than angry.
"Yeah!" Medic joins Heavy's side. They had a good friendship, so he was quick to his aide. Far more than the rest of his teammates on the battlefield, and now in this political debate. "And you need to shut the fuck up with your Anti-Communist rhetoric! It is getting pretty old! We are all sick and tired of your goddamn shit!"
"You think some douchebag like McCarthy is always one hundred percent right?! He did not even have proof of any communist infiltration, that is how irrelevant he was! He was a useless fuck in the end!" Medic snaps at Soldier, poking him hard in the chest.
"Irrelevant?" Soldier shoves the Germans hand off, getting in his face. "As irrelevant as Hitler and Stalin were in their times compared to President Eisenhower!"
"He wasn't even the president at the time, that was Truman, you fucking idiot!" Scout shouts at Soldier.
"At least he didn't consider ending segregation like Eisenhower did!" Engineer says, a small comfort to him. Soldier's reaction was quick to react.
"Engineer, you're more racist than goddamn Trump, you know that?! At least the Military isn't segregated, it is integrated and filled with virtuousness by our merit in history!"
"McCarthy was no better then Hitler and the SS or Stalin and the KGB! Targeting anyone and everyone who was even slightly against his ideals!" Heavy roared at Soldier. "Throwing allegations left and right or even on the slightest 'abnormal' behavior to eliminate anyone who could politically challenge him!"
Demoman stumbles through doorway to the commons room, arms crossed in annoyance.
"What in the bloody fuck's goin' on 'ere?! You guys woke me up and made me all sober! Now I can't get comfortable!"
"Everyone is arguing about politics and ideologies. Soldier is also up to his bullshit again and calling me a communist and Medic a Nazi." Heavy informs the Scottish Cyclops.
Demoman moves to put an arm around Soldier. They were good friends during and outside of battle, and was often the voice of reason.
"Soldier, I know we're best mates...but arguing about politics at this time of night gets you a lot of headaches. Trust me, lad." He says. Soldier seems to relax from this, but then Engineer decides to open his mouth.
"And Medic is saying that religion doesn't matter! That idiot is literally ignoring moral and ethics! We need those and God in our life to be righteous!"
Demoman didn't hear much from their argument, but he did hear Engineer's racist comment about Segregation.
"You don't speak on behalf of the Lord, ya bloody racist! He loves everybody as equals!" Demoman shouts at the Texan.
"And just because Medic is a atheist doesn't mean he has abandoned his morals and ethics! You don't need to be religious to have those, you know that right?" Heavy points out.
"If Soldier is a fascist, and Engie's a confederate racist, Sniper's a Lib-Right Pro-Arms asshole and Medic is a Scientist..." Scout paused. "Which I don't think is an actual ideology," Scout looks between the Heavy and Demoman, "then what are you two's beliefs?!"
"The Big Lad is probably a Commie, or a Tsarist, I don't know..." Sniper shrugs. Heavy's fists clenched at the comment, his knuckles audibly popping.
"What the fuck is a Tsarist'?!" Scout asked. Before anyone can give him an answer, Soldier cuts back into the conversation.
"I'm not a fascist you libtard! I'm an advocate for military intervention in politics!"
Medic points a finger at Soldier and shouts, "That is exactly what Fascism is, you stupid dummkopf!"
Soldier brushes off the insult.
"Oh shut up you Nazi! you're not even democratic, you're a scientist whatever that means." He retorts. Medic's face grows red, his nose flaring up in anger.
"For the last time, I AM NOT A GODDAMN NAZI!! I AM A FUCKING TECHNOCRAT!!!"
"I am a Socialist Democrat," Demoman cuts in before things could escalate between them. "I believe in equality for everybody, it has free healthcare and free shit that everyone would want to get."
"What the hell is that? Socialism? Are you a Bernie bro or something?" Scout was on Demoman's case, throwing assumptions at him for his ideology.
"OKAY! ALL OF YOU! SHUT UP! NOW!" Heavy roars, regaining everyone's attention once again.
"First off, Scout," Heavy turns to the youngest of the Team. "Think of a monarchy as the Eastern European version of a monarchy or empires." Scout holds a hand to his chin, nodding. He seemed satisfy with that answer.
"Second off, Sniper," Heavy turns to face Sniper with an angry glare. The Aussie swallows and starts to sweat a little. "I will wring your fucking neck if you call me a Communist like Soldier has been doing!!" Heavy's hands made a motion of his threat by moving his top hand around like he's testing something. Sniper nods his head in understanding.
"And lastly," Heavy turns to the rest of the group. "I am a Menshevik. I support the establishment of a Russian Republic!"
As Heavy asserts his position and clarifies his beliefs, Soldier is quick to quip about it.
"Ohh a Republican, you can't fool me with those terms! It's a SOVIET Republic, eh?" Soldier mocks.
"Now that's a good one, Soldier." Engineer gives a small chuckle.
Medic threw his hands up in exasperation. "You people are such childish kids!"
"Soldier...." Heavy addresses his teammate. "You have NO. IDEA. How much I resent the Soviet Union and what it has done. What it has done to Russia, What it has done to me. What it has done to my family!" He bellowed at the man.
"Yeah and so what? Why should I believe you?" Soldier asks, suspicious. "I've never met a Russian that hated communism, you're probably just lying!
"Soldier, I hate havin' to see you like this, but need I remind you that we're on the RED team, again?" Demoman says, arms crossed.
"WHAT?!" Soldier went rigid at his best friend's words. Everyone else went rigid, even Heavy. Scout, meanwhile, had a panicked look on his face.
"Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, please don't actually tell him that again!" Scout please, but it was too late.
Soldier spreads his legs out and knees turning inward. He hunches up his shoulders and brings his arms up in a stance similar to an anime character powering up.
"I hope Washington is watching me...because this is how a True Patriot deals with commies~." He grounds out through gritted teeth.
"Better dead.....than Red." He begins screaming, and grows louder as time went on.
"You remember the last time he went crazy over that?" Sniper looks to his Scottish teammate, who raised an eyebrow. "He was having a mental breakdown. Don't mess him up like that, mate."
Demoman had completely forgot about that! He had drunk enough scrumpy to forget about that time he told Soldier they were on the RED Team. He sees Soldier's body glowing red and his screaming reaches to a crescendo.
"Soldier don't think about it!"
"Oh shit what the fuck is he gonna do?!?" Scout looked even more panicked.
(Warning: The Following clip is very loud, so be sure to lower your volume. Anything that happens is your responsibility.)
Soldier throws his hands up in the air and starts screaming loudly as he enters the Uber charge state all on his own. He was screaming just as loud as Heavy was when he first entered the political discussion. He beats his chest wildly like an angry gorilla and starts screaming in people's faces.
He starts screaming at Demoman for saying that they were on the Red Team!
Next he starts screaming at Heavy for being a Communist, and lying that he hated Communism.
Then he starts screaming at Engineer for being a racist confederate fuckwad!
Then he sets his eyes on Scout and starts screaming at him for criticizing his ideology and starting this whole mess in the first place!
Soldier would have screamed at Medic and Sniper, but he was too angry and wild to pay any attention to them. Even if Medic is a Nazi scumbag shit stain.
Soldier screams at the sky, still out of control. His voice carried the hatred for the Red Menace, the enemy to the American way! To freedom, to the Constitution!! To the entire motherfucking world!!
The room falls into chaos as Soldier's outburst reaches its peak. The other teammates scramble to protect themselves and keep the situation from escalating further. Medic and Sniper quickly move away from Soldier's path, trying to avoid the brunt of his fury.
"SHUUUUUUUUT
THE
FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHK
UP!!!!!"
The RED Spy finally made his appearance. Soldier stops screaming as he and the rest of the present team turn to see the French Assassin.
"What are you fucking imbeciles doing awake at FOUR AM?" He says, anger behind his mask from being woken up so early. "WE HAVE TO STOP THE BOMB CART IN THE FUCKIN' MORNING, AND YOU ALL ARE AWAKE?!?"
"My fucking ears, Spy why did you have to yell so fucking loud?!" Scout says, still grimacing from Spy's surprise scream.
"Mind your tongue or I will cut it out!" Spy threatens with a finger.
"Believe me Spy, I am just as annoyed as you are. They are all arguing about politics and ideologies. I don't know how it started, but it all woke me up too." Heavy says.
"So this is what the whole screaming was about?! POLITICS?!?" Spy shouts in disbelief. He shakes his head, lips pressed in a deep frown.
"You all are the most EMBARRASSING mercenaries I have EVER worked with! This is the third time this week with the screaming! Can we sleep for one goddamn night?!" He shakes his head again, as if struggling to keep his normally cool head. But every argument they've had has always taken place during the night, right when they had to get to work in the morning.
"I AM SICK OF HAVING TO WAKE UP TO SEE THAT SOME IMBECILE HAS SOMETHING TO SCREAM ABOUT!"
The room falls into stunned silence as Spy's words hang in the air. The weight of his frustration and exhaustion is palpable.
"And what about YOU Frenchie? Do you follow a particular ideology different than mine?" Soldier asks, pointing a finger at Spy. "If so, you would be wrong as only a strong Stratocratic government will enrich and stabilize our country from outside and inside threats! Hahaha!" Soldier laughs, hands on his hips. Spy's eyes narrow dangerously at the helmet wearing buffoon.
"You want to prolong the argument?! Fine, I will have to remind you about what truly matters!" Spy fully joins the discussion circle, hands held behind his back. His gaze was solely focused on Soldier as he got ready to put him in his place.
"You seek to rule over the Badlands with your so-called 'Stratocracy' when you can't even tell what planet we were on! You once told me that we were on the goddamn MOON at one point!" The Frenchman shouts, "You think that by running the Badlands under a military dictatorship, you will prosper?! Need I remind you that you're under service of fucking Mann. Co?!!?"
"By making your own goddamn nation, you are actively betraying the RED Company! You are breaking the contract that you, signed to fight for. I CANNOT BELIEVE I AM RAISING MY VOICE WITH A GODDAMN PERSON WHO THINKS HE WAS IN THE U.S. ARMY!" He screams at Soldier, who stood his ground. He was not going to show weakness to this French pussy. Before Soldier could make any sort of retort, Spy cuts him off.
"I snucked inside the goddamn Administrators' office, you moron! You are not a real soldier! You never were inside the american forces. You are a civilian in soldier clothing! You were never part of the military, you were never part of america itself!"
Spy's words hang in the air, hitting Soldier with the force of a sledgehammer. The room falls into complete silence as the weight of Spy's accusations settles on everyone present. Soldier's face contorts with a mix of anger, disbelief, and a hint of vulnerability.
"Jesus Christ, Spy, calm down!" Scout says, his hands making a placating gesture. "Okay, if the Heavy is a Menshevik or..." He snaps his fingers, thinking of a way to better describe what Heavy's ideology is. "Democratic," he says "and the Demoman is a Socialist, then what are you Spy?"
Spy takes a moment to compose himself, his gaze shifting away from Soldier. He adjusts his suit jacket and clears his throat before speaking.
"I am a Corporate." He replies, "I went to Central America to make deals with the Banana Republics there. I also recently purchased slaves in the underworld market, I am also a human trafficker leader."
Everyone listens in shock at what Spy is saying. The way he speaks about what he has done, he sounded almost proud.
"Just recently I made sales on arms and weapons I made from working with Mann. Co. I have a lot of keys and refinery metal to trade. As long as I'm interested in whatever you're offering me."
Nearly all the Mercs eyes shot up in shock at what their teammate just said. The only one who didn't seem too bothered by Spy's words was Engineer.
"Hot damn Spy, you got anything to sell?" Engineer asks, interested. The others were not as welcoming as their racist Texan teammate.
"You own people which is morally wrong!" Demoman points an accusatory finger at the masked man. "How dare you make money off of helpless people, while also sitting on half of the world's money!?"
"I knew it from the start that you were a goddamn Globalist piece of scumbag shit, Spy! Almost everybody here would fucking hate you!" Soldier bellowed in outrage. Spy was no better than the Nazi, Communist, and the newly identified Segregationist.
"Yeah and we kill mercenaries, not exploit people, you fucking corporatist!" Scout's adds, just as upset as the rest of his teammates.
"You are a coward hiding behind your money, you deserve to die just because you follow that idea!" Soldier declares.
"I don't agree on him dyin' but he should definitely be beaten up! How 'bout it, lads?!" Demoman punches his fist in his hand, eager to slug the back-poking snake.
"Demo, are you crazy?! We can't fight our team!" Heavy says, taking over the role of being the voice of reason.
"Not to mention, y'all are getting uppity at his ideas, y'all are pathetic." Engineer adds, shaking his head in disappointment.
"Oh so says the overzealot religious man who thinks God does everything he tells him to do!" Medic says, calling out on Engineers hypocrisy.
"Quit mocking us Christians, you fucking Atheist nerd!" Sniper shouts.
"Oh yeah?!" Spy challenged, pulling out his switch blade knife. He held it out in front of him, ready to gut whoever was foolish enough to try and take him on.
"I can take every one of you on! One knife in your back and you are fucking dead!"
Just before anyone can take even a single inch of a step forward;
"MMMMMMPH!!"
Everyone stops to see the one person they absolutely didn't want to mess with. The RED Pyro stands right in front of them, arms crossed and looking pissed behind that mask.
"Holy shit!! Pyro, we didn't mean to wake you up, buddy!!" Scout says, terror gripping at his heart.
"Rrrgggggh..." Pyro mumbles angrily.
"What the fuck does the mumbling arsonist want?!" Soldier says.
"We were just talkin' politics... nothing to serious, right lads?" Demoman says with an uneasy smile, hoping to placate the arsonist's anger in hopes of coming out alive.
"Yeah, what he said." Sniper says, joining the Scotsman's plan of survival. Everyone else either nods or keeps quiet.
"Mpph? Hmph! Mpph mh mmph mh mmph mm." Pyro says through the mask.
"Oh, you want to join us?" Scout says, surprised. "Alright, what's your ideal?"
"Mm mph mph Mphrnmp."
"What?! Anarchist?!" Scout's eyes grow wide as Pyro nods his head. Everyone else's eyes go wide as well.
The revelation that Pyro identifies as an anarchist sends a shockwave through the team. The mercenaries exchange surprised glances, their previous conflicts momentarily forgotten as they process this unexpected revelation.
"Pyro, that's a terrible idea!" Scout says.
"You are an Anarchist?!?" Spy raises an eyebrow, then starts laughing at how ridiculous Pyro's claim is. Behind that mask, nobody can tell what Pyro was thinking. But they didn't need to know if Pyro was angry or not. When Spy calms down from his outburst, he gives Pyro a condescending smirk.
"That is fucking hilarious!" He says.
Nobody else shared the same sentiment. Sniper whispers to the team, "I got Jarate here in case things go horribly wrong, lads." He pulls out a jar of Jarate to prove his claim, whatever good that would do.
Pyro begins mumbling angrily through his mask about how society is bad, how the government corrupts the world, and how society itself would be better without it. When he's finished with his barely audible rant, he pulls out his flamethrower. Gas can be heard coming from the nozzle as he aims it right at his own teammates.
"Okay, this does not look good here, um..." Scout holds his hands up defensively.
"Pyro!! Don't you dare!!" Heavy warns.
Too late. Before anyone can react, Pyro activates the flamethrower, sending a wave of fire towards the team. Screams of agony and horror fill the room, along with the roars of flames and carbon gas. As they burned together in the hell flames, Pyro laughs malevolently at their suffering.
The debate was officially over, but there were no official winners.
Well, if anything, Pyro can at least get back to sleep.