She knew what was coming when she woke up in the black abyss again. She closed her eyes and covered her ears before she could hear that irritating voice. "This isn't real. This isn't real." She repeated.
But even with her hands covering her ears, everything she heard was still somehow loud. The sound of crying felt like it was right in her ears. It annoyed her. She never thought that she could hate herself more.
"It's not real. It's not real."
"Oh, but it is."
She flinched at the sound of his voice. Astrid slowly opened her eyes and looked up at the figure standing in front of her. Fear rush all over her body within seconds. "Leave me alone." She glared.
Gruumm let out an evil laugh. It grew louder with each breath he took. Astrid tried blocking it out again, but it wouldn't stop.
"What is it you're trying to do?"
"Do you expect me to be stupid enough to tell you. You'll just have sit and wait for it all to happen. You just better hope your friends stay out of my way if they want what's best for them."
"Shut up!" She yelled. She closed her eyes again and covered her ears. "Get out of my head!"
She felt her body move. She looked around her. She was no longer in the dark abyss anymore. She wasn't sure where she was. But she knew it was probably where Grumm was hiding. "Let me out of here!"
"Just relax. Get comfortable. This is where you're going to end up anyways. Might as well get settled before you stay permanently." He said.
Astrid clenched her fist in anger. "Good luck with that. I'm not letting you get anywhere near me."
Gruumm laughed some more. "You can hide all you want. But just know that this will soon be your home for the rest of your life. But it's not like that visit is going to last long anyways."
~
That was the last thing she heard before waking up. She was breathing heavily, and sweat was dripping down her forehead. Astrid sat up and looked down at her monitor. Nothing had changed.
She turned her hand around and eyed the cut on her palm. It had finally healed after a while. And she was right, it had left a scar.
She still checked up on the engine everyday. It was still the same. Thankfully Sam had still been keeping the secret. But Astrid knew it was killing him inside. He tried helping her with anything she needed, but there was nothing she could do. All she really had left to do was to wait.
If they don't defeat Gruumm anytime soon, no doubt would he finally begin the true chaos of what he was planning. It had probably already began for all she knew.
She got out of her bed and left the room. She tried her best to be as silent as possible when walking past everyone's room, especially Bridge's room.
Before she could even get close to the common room, she could already her friends voices. She walked even slower as she got closer. She leaned against the wall and tried her best to listen to the conversation they were all having.
"If Gruumm can destroy earth from orbit, why doesn't he?" Sky asked.
"He must need something."
"But what? He already has millions of dollars worth of diamonds." Syd said.
"But, wait a minute guys. Gruumm tried to steal all the gold, remember? I got it! Gruumm's master plan is to open up a mega jewelry store. It's perfect."
Astrid rolled her eyes at his guess. If he had said this to her, she would have laughed right in his face. Even if he didn't mean it as a joke.
Not wanting to hear anyone of their conversation, Astrid turned around and went back the other way. Instead of walking back to her room, she walked right past it. Not necessarily in the mood to run all the way up, she instead decided to take the elevator up to the roof.
She walked over to the ledge and leaned against the railing. She had nothing to keep her warm, but she couldn't feel anything but the stress and anxiety. She took in a deep breath, and then let out a deep breath, her voice shaky.
After so long of keeping this to herself, the stress building up from hiding the engine and waiting for Gruumm, the anxiety that grew from her dreams and premonitions, and what ever those conversation she was having with Gruumm, it all finally came exploding.
It started with small sobs, but it quickly turned into full cries. She hated it all. Se hated herself. All she wanted was to disappear from everything, because she knew things wouldn't be this way if she just never existed. As if it mattered to her anyways.
With everything going on, Astrid began to regret every decision she has made until now. She cared so much for Bridge. There wasn't a single part of her the regretted meeting him. But maybe things would have been better off if she had just not befriended him in the first place.
Telling him her secret was already her biggest mistake. And as time kept going on, they just kept getting closer and closer. And it just broke her heart more knowing that she was going to leave him sooner or later. Maybe it would have been best if she just didn't let her feelings get to her. She should have left this place a long time ago when she had the chance. But it instead just pulled her closer to Bridge. Maybe she wouldn't be feeling this way if she had just left.
She wanted a chance at having. life with everyone here. A future with Bridge. But her heart said otherwise. If it weren't for this stupid heart, maybe there could have been a chance for her to live a normal life. But she was instead left with the feeling of wanting to die again.
She looked up at the stars, they were brighter than ever that night. But her hatred for them was still the same as ever. And her resentment just kept growing. But she couldn't hate anything more than herself. Because to Astrid, her existence was just a pain.
"Just kill me already!" She shouted.
Astrid dropped to the floor and began to cry more. At the pointed, she just wanted to drop dead. A heart is supposed to keep a person alive, so why was it doing the opposite for her? Why did the universe just want to watch her slowly die and lose her sanity?
She began to bang her fist against her chest in hopes of it doing something. But of course it didn't work. She felting nothing, just numb. If that's what death felt like, she didn't hate it.
Why give her this life? Why give anyone this life?
She laid down on the floor and just looked back at the sky. After she kept staring up at the sky for a while, she finally saw a shooting star. It had been a while since she had last saw one. And it had been years since she had made a wish. Why waste so much of her time on wishing for something that could never happen. Maybe thing would turn out differently if she had made a different wish.
After a while of just banging her fist against her chest, she was distracted from her thoughts when someone had grabbed her arm. Astrid sat up in fear, but let out a sigh when she saw Sam. But now she wasn't sure if she wanted to see him or not.
"Did you hear all that?" She asked.
Sam gave a small nod. "Yeah." He mumbled.
Astrid turned her head away from him, letting out an annoyed sigh. "Great."
Sam let go of her hand and sat down next to her. "Care to tell me what all that was about?"
Astrid shook her head. "It was nothing. Please don't tell anyone what you heard."
"I'm guessing it's not nothing if it means I have to keep another secret."
Astrid shook her head. "I'm sorry. I'm just so stressed. I cant take all this. I just want it all to end already so that I don't have to feel this way anymore. Whether it means destroying Gruumm or ending me. I don't care anymore."
"You don't mean that." Sam scolded. "I thought you loved being a part of S.P.D."
"I do. But I'm starting to question whether it was a good idea to stay or not. You all would probably be a lot safer if I just left. Because who knows what's going to happen."
"We don't know for sure if Gruumm is going to capture you. We can take precaution and protect you."
"That's not going to work. It'll just put you guys in more danger if anything. I want to protect you, not the other way around. I could care less about myself." Astrid shook her head.
"You shouldn't be thinking so negative all the time. I'm don't think Bridge would want to hear you talk like that."
"What are you, my mother?" Astrid joked. She let out an annoyed sigh and rubbed her forehead in annoyance. "Nothing is going to save me. You guys can't change my mine about that."
"I know." Sam mumbled. "But we still want to try."
"I don't understand why you all bother trying. It's impossible to understand your mindset. My existence isn't going to matter at one point. I'm just going to be someone you all are gonna have to forget about."
"We're not going to forget about you."
"I know. That's the problem."
Sam stared at her in confusion. "What?"
Astrid stood up from. the floor and walked over to the ledge, leaning over the railing as she looked down at the city. Sam stood up and followed behind her. "It'd be better if you all just forgot about me. Staying here was a mistake. My first rule should have been to not let anyone get close to me. But that's what I let happen. Because now I'm dating someone who I know won't be able to let me go when I do die. And that's not what I want for him. I don't want that for anyone."
Sam shook his head. "You make it seem like forgetting you is going to be so simple. No matter what happens, everyones always going to have memories of you. Whether they're good or they're bad memories, everyones always going to remember those memories they have of you. Maybe you should just cherish the time you have with everyone."
"Why do you sound so wise? Aren't I older than you?" Astrid joked.
Sam let out a slight laugh. "Somewhat, I guess. If you ever need to have a talk, I'm always here. And don't worry, I won't tell anyone."
Astrid gave him a small smile. "Thanks. And sorry. I know you really hate having to keep this a secret."
"It is stressful, but I can handle it."
~
"Bridge, aren't you going to bed?" Sky asked.
"Yeah, but I want to check on Astrid first." Bridge smiled.
"If you say so." Sky let out a loud yawn as he walked back into the room.
Bridge turned around and started walking towards Astrid's room. He hoped that she wasn't having trouble sleeping.
He knocked on the door before going inside. He saw Astrid sound asleep on her bed. He smiled when. he saw her wearing one of his hoodies. He walked closer and sat down next to. her. He tried being as gentle as he can so that he wouldn't wake her up.
Bridge took off his glove and used that hand to light brush her hair out of her face. He then moved his hand down to her cheek, still being too gentle.
Realizing how late it was, he leaned down and placed a kiss to her forehead. He then stood up and walked over to the door. He looked over at her one last time, smiling to himself as he saw how cute she was. Especially when she was wearing the hoodie.
Sorry for the late update. I wasn't home in time yesterday to upload the chapter. Nor did I have time to proofread and edit stuff. But it's done now and I hope you enjoyed!
Updates every Friday and Monday (hopefully without any disturbances again)!