How many envelopes could there possibly be? Honestly why does this happen to me... Is this life? Gah I miss my honeymoon. I miss Harun. I should text him and ask him what time he'll be back. Jamila and Harun landed in New York this morning, it's six o'clock in the evening and the newly wed couple are finally feeling reality settle in. Harun was asked to rush to the hospital if he could, at first he was hesitant because he didn't want to leave his wife but she reassured him she had other things to do. She's lying on the bed with a heap of files and papers around her. A daunting sight indeed.
Now here she is sorting out mail, filling in reports and peeling open these envelopes that contain invitations' to different schools for motivational talks. I'd love to but how on earth will I fit this in my schedule? I have to figure something out. In the mix of all these professional white envelopes there is a pink one. Jamila's eyes are drawn to this and her eyebrows compose a 'V' shape. The envelope is much smaller than the rest and it has a red heart shaped sticker on it. Her arm reaches out for it and examines it in a skeptical way.
At that very moment her phone begins to ring; Jamila drops the envelope startled. She answers the call without looking at the caller ID.
'Hello?'
'Hi, is this Ms. Jamila?' The strange man inquires.
'Yes, speaking?' Jamila bites her lip in uncertainty. Who is he and how does he have my number?
'This is Bilal, Ms. Rumana gave me this number so that I could speak to you regarding my sessions.' Everything begins to fall into place, this is the guy Ru was talking about! Why did she give him my number?! That's so unprofessional and wrong. It goes against privacy policy or something along those lines. I'm going to kill her for this!
'Right.' Jamila adjusts her blouse, grabs a pencil and a notepad, and leans against the headboard of her bed. 'As far as timing is concerned, I'm free on Monday and Wednesday from three to four pm and then Friday from five to six pm. What do you say?' That's right, short and sweet. Be firm Jam.
'Great! That's... Honestly I'm so grateful.' Bilal chuckles and Jamila finds herself smiling involuntarily as well. 'So can we start tomorrow?'
'Yes sure.'
'Thank you so much Doc, you have no idea what this means to me.' Doc? Alright bugs.
'Glad I could help.'
'Could I ask you one question?' Jamila checks the time and it's almost six thirty.
'How 'bout we leave it for tomorrow Bilal.'
'Alright, see you then.' Jamila says goodbye and hangs up. The thought of helping someone mentally really has an effect on someone. To be able to eliminate their weaknesses and give them something to look forward to in life. It's rewarding and Jamila wouldn't have it any other way. She arranges the room and dumps all her files and papers on the table beside the bed, she's completely forgotten about the pink envelope in the process. I'm actually looking forward to going to work! Ha, I can't wait to tell Harun. Oh my God, where is that man? Has he forgotten me?
Jamila decides to pray Maghrib before she calls her husband and question his whereabouts. As she stands before her Master, all worries and doubts dissipate into nothing. She lifts the Quran from Harun's wooden bookshelf and turns to Surah Mutaffifeen, Chapter 83 in the Noble Scripture. The meaning floods her heart with both fear and motivation to be more righteous. Sijeen... Oh Allah don't keep us amongst the inhabitants of the blaze. An overwhelming sense of guilt resides in her mind at the thought of Bilal. Her client, she suddenly feels this nagging sensation about counseling him. I don't know if I want to do it anymore, I mean yes marriage changes a lot of things but then again the devil is everywhere. Is this a good idea? Gosh I'm so confused. Placing the Quran in its original place, she heads downstairs to mingle with her in laws.
'Ya Jamila, you've been in your room the whole day! Aren't you hungry habba?' Ruqaiyah has her hands on her hips.
'I was busy with some stuff Khala, sorry.' She gives a sheepish grin and plops on the seat beside her.
'Ah, busy girl. Yes, our Hafsa was like that too.'
'Where is she Khala? And Ramla?'
'Hafsa has gone out and Ramla is on Skype with her children. They miss her a lot and can't wait for her to come back.'
'I see, why don't they come here?'
'Oh there won't be any need to because we're all going there soon.' Jamila's eyebrows shoot up at this, who's all?
'Meaning Hafsa, Ramla, Rashid, Hamza and myself,'
'So-'
'Yes, you and Harun will have the entire house to yourself.' Ruqaiyah winks at her, Jamila covers her face with a pillow. 'Don't be shy habba.'
'Forgive me Khala, I'm getting used to all this.'
'I can see that but I don't want to wait forever.'
'Ya Khala.' She buries her face into the pillow again refusing to budge. Ruqaiyah giggles and gives Jamila a side hug.
'Don't worry Habibti, there's no rush. I'm only joking.' Jamila lifts her head and gazes into the kind woman's eyes.
'You're very kind Khala, thank you for being like that.' She admits with a smile.
'Ya Jamila, don't say that and call me Ummi from now on.' Ruqaiyah pinches her arm lovingly. 'Come, let's make dinner.' The two ladies then prepare various dishes together, Ruqaiyah shares stories of Harun as a young boy and then about funny incidents related to dogs. Jamila listens attentively and laughs at the appropriate moments. The ring at the doorbell interrupts their bonding period, Ruqaiyah answers it while Jamila cuts the carrot. She's too absorbed with cutting it thinly that she doesn't hear her husband's greeting. He approaches her from behind and hugs her waist. She drops the knife in surprise, twice in one day! Get a grip Jam.
'Salam Alaykum.' Harun whispers in her ear. Jamila leans into him with a smile.
'Wa Alaykum Salam.' She murmurs and tilts her head to the right to capture a glimpse his face. 'I missed you.'
'You're not the only one Sheikha.' He eyes her mouth, as if sensing what he intends to do Jamila wets her dry lips.
'How was work?' She changes the topic. No getting hot and fuzzy when his mother is just around the corner.
'Long and tiring.'
'That sounds terrible.'
'It is, I had to go into two surgeries all of which took four hours.' Harun turns his wife fully in his direction. A curl hops over his eye and Jamila pushes it back tenderly.
'Don't undermine the work you've done.' She tugs his white coat forward. He stares passionately into her big eyes.
'Never.' His voice hoarse now, 'Mamma!' He calls out whilst not breaking eye contact with her.
'Yes?' Ruqaiyah is on her phone in the living room, partially taking a break and giving her son some space.
'Are you done cooking?' Of course we're not! We have so much to do, I swear this man is impossible.
'Yes!' Jamila's eyes widen.
'But we just started and-' she begins to object.
'Wonderful lets go.' Harun takes her hand and leads her to their room with a smirk.
The next morning, the young couple are clambering about trying to get ready for work. Harun pulls his white coat and his black shoes whilst Jamila is tidying up her bag and fixing her scarf in between. So much for being early now, alright Jam you got this.
'What time do you need to be picked up?' Harun opens the door and they walk out together.
'Actually I was thinking that maybe Zaid could pick me?' Jamila is half focused on her phone.
'Okay and I'll pick you from there in the night?'
'Yes insha Allah.' She smiles at him and they head out the front door. Once in the car Jamila sighs in contentment and has a wide smile on her face.
'You seem happy.'
'I am happy.' Harun gives her a dry look. 'Ya Sheikh what did I tell you yesterday?'
'Not to undermine the work I do?'
'Yes.'
'How many clients do you have today?'
'I told you, four.'
'Ah yes, smelly Santa, the widow, a teenage girl and some new guy called Bilal.' The name is noble but I bet this guy isn't.
'Well done.' She pats his arm. She's thrilled at leaving me for a whole day. Okay overreacting here. Honestly who does Bilal even think he is, there are so many other counsellors. Seriously, grow up Harun!
'Why can't you tell me what the teenage girl is going through.' He glances at her once he stops at a red light.
'That would violate confidentiality policies Habibi.' Harun sighs. Of course, if she won't tell me about a troubled youngster then how on earth can I expect her to tell me about him. No no, I can demand for information on him as her husband. Yes then she'll be forced to tell me. Dealing with the guilt of it all might kill me later though.
'So this Bilal is how old exactly?' Harun tries to prove he's not bothered by him. Jamila can sense the curiosity in his tone. Tell him the truth and relax. You've not done anything wrong.
'About 28, that's what his file said anyway.'
'What about his roots?'
'It wasn't mentioned.' Jamila peeks up at him, his jaw is clenched and he appears to be in deep thought. He simply nods at her response and pulls up at the clinic. Have I made him mad? I shouldn't have mentioned him. Goodness, I hate this feeling. She grabs her bag and looks at her husband who's already gauging her every move. 'I'll see you tonight insha Allah.' He nods. She hesitantly pecks his cheek and leaves. As she walks inside she can feel his intense stare behind her. Whoo and its only nine o'clock!
Harun drives to work in a foul mood, I need to calm down, he's just some guy that needs help. I can't hate him for no reason, plus Jamila will never do anything like that. You're just paranoid, then again I'm not worried about her. What if.. Okay stop! Just drive. Harun forces himself to think of anything but this man. As he enters the hospital, he puts on his cloak and heads to the Dean's room. Get a new nurse to replace Jessica and then... Jamila doesn't know about her. Ha hypocrite! You're jealous over someone you don't even know. Yeah, brilliant. He rakes his hair in frustration and knocks on the Dean's office. After hearing a 'come in,' Harun pushes through.
'Ah, there's my man. How was your holiday?' The plump man has his feet on his desk, a file on his lap and an expensive pen in his hand.
'Great, thank you for asking. How have you been?'
'Alive my boy. Alive.' The Dean smirks and drops his feet to the ground. 'So what is it that you want?'
'Can't I just ask about your well being?' Harun grins.
'You and I both know there's more to this than just my health son, so tell me. What's on your mind?'
'I want a new nurse.'
'Harun-'
'Ron please, okay. I've begged you so many times. I'm tired of dealing with her and I have a witness who can testify to her outrageous behavior.' Harun's hands are in tight fists and the thought of that woman. He's tried to remain positive and patient, giving her time to change but no. She just won't listen. Ron sighs and rubs his face. The man is about 60 but looks ten years older than that.
'Who is this witness?'
'Mona.'
'The receptionist.' Ron wants to laugh.
'Ron.' Harun growls.
'Alright, I'll make you a deal.' Harun is about to object but the old man holds his hand up. 'Hear me out. Let her work with you tell the end of the month and then I'll transfer her to someone else.'
'No.'
'Why not?'
'I don't want to spend another minute in her presence.'
'Why? Is this about your wife?' Harun almost freezes but manages to hide his shock.
'It's about me. I don't want her near me, Ron please just make it official.'
'Tsk, fine. You'll have a different nurse with you tomorrow.' Harun stubbornly bites his tongue from saying anything else and simply nods. 'Good, now leave.' AlhamdhuliAllah, where do I even begin? No amount of gratitude will actually prove my appreciation. I've got her off my back now I need to show the love of my life that I'm not an insecure brat. What a day...
'You've progressed a lot since the first day I met you Samantha, I'm so proud of you.' Jamila smiles at the young girl. She has a lack of self confidence and self worth, she apologizes for things that aren't even true and she's having trouble fitting in. To top it all off, a really popular boy in school is crushing on her.
'I have no one to thank but you Jamila.' She adjusts her t-shirt and grins shyly.
'That's not entirely true. You've changed your outlook on life, you ignored the bullies and did well for your exams, you signed up for the drama club by choice and the boy who likes you finally had the guts to approach you. None of that had anything to do with me.' Jamila sighs at this achievement.
'You guided me through it though.'
'That's my job.' They both laugh.
'How many more sessions do I have?'
'About three more I think.' The counsellor turns over a page on her report.
'I still have so much more to fix.'
'Like what?' Jamila notes that the girl still seems anxious about something, she scribbles it down on her notepad.
'Like Brad, I mean yeah he likes me and all but I don't think I'm ready to commit y'know?' Samantha twists in her seat nervously.
'Hmm, have you talked to him about it?' Commitment issues, been there, done that.
No... Im scared of what he'll say.'
'Would you rather he find out through someone else?'
'That would-' the clock rings indicating that time is up. 'Be horrible.' The client stands up with a sigh and runs a hand through her brown hair.
'We'll continue this next time insha Allah?' Jamila sees her out the door.
'Insha Allah.' Samantha waves. Jamila never refrains from saying that, even if Samantha didn't know it, they believed in One God. And if He willed then they'd meet or they just wouldn't. How can we bring and invite people to this religion when we're doing the opposite of what we're told? Professing these words with pride will only increase their curiosity. Sam has grown attached to the word Insha Allah and when she doesn't hear me say it, she says it. AllahuAkbar, I'm so proud of her. May Allah guide her and grant her the ability to go far in life.
Jamila shifts her gaze to a tall figure conversing with Rumana near the reception counter. She seems really interested in whatever he's saying, who is he anyway? He's wearing a black shirt and jeans. Looks young, could this be...
'Oh there she is! Jamila!' Her eyes widen at her friend. The man turns around to find the lady he's been looking forward to meet the whole day. And I'm not disappointed, he thinks. 'Come here, this is Bilal. The client I was talking to you about.' Jamila nods at a distance and approaches them slowly. 'He was just telling me about his family's recent attempt to force him to marry some village girl back in Hyderabad.' Jamila nods again, what kind of family is this? SubhanAllah, forced marriage? Haram!
'Maybe I can fill her in during our session.' Bilal grins at her blank face. He has an alluring presence for sure, something Jamila wants to avoid paying attention to. She clears her throat and faces Rumana.
'How many sessions?'
'Depends on le client.'
'As many as I need in order to get myself together.' He looks at the ground uncomfortably.
'Right, then I'll leave you guys to it.' With that Rumana disappears.
'Go into that room.' Jamila points and he obeys. She walks behind him, lowering her gaze as much as she can. He seats himself on the couch, his long legs are stretched out before him and his hands are on his lap. His eyes roam the décor freely and finally land on the quiet woman in front of him. 'So, tell me what's on your mind.' She relaxes in her seat, this is your forte Jam, take a deep breath and do what you do best. Clear his doubt, give him a solution and he'll be outta here before you know it.
'As Rumana was saying, my family want me to get married and I don't mind it but I'm afraid.' The emotion in his voice demands Jamila to look up slightly. She realizes then that his face is extremely white, no beard. Hmm...
'Of what?'
'What life will be like after that, it's intimidating you know,' Bilal leans his arms on his knees. 'I don't want to make a small mistake and pay the price later. I want to be sure.' He continues.
'So don't get married.'
'I have to! That's the point.' Bilal frowns at his counselor.
'Have you talked to your parents?'
'Of course and-'
'Have you listed down the reasons as to why you can't get married?'
'Yes but-'
'Was the fact that you're afraid on that list?' Bilal stares at her, whoa, she's good. 'You weren't completely honest with them were you?' The man shakes his head. 'How can you deal with something as serious as this if you're not forthcoming about it?' Who is this woman...
'I didn't think of it like that.' Jamila feels a little thrilled that she proved him wrong. Bilal can't take his eyes off her, he finds her pretty and hearing her talk only increases his urge to open up to her.
'The problem is we view fear as a weakness. It's good to be scared, it shows your human and that you're dependent.' She speaks with a firm voice, this isn't right, Jami the way he's looking at you! It's wrong! Oh my God stop being dramatic, he's just getting used to all this. 'If you tell them you're scared and that they're pushing you to do something that's extremely daunting, they just might understand.' She ends with a sigh.
Bilal nods and rubs his cheek, Jamila observes his behavior. Harun has a striking jaw Walla, it's so manly. When he's annoyed he taps it rapidly.
'I guess I could try that.' Bilal agrees and they begin to touch on the other aspects of his problem. His family, bad friends and religion. 'You've cleared a lot out for me.' He rises from his seat and dumps his hands in his pockets'.
'Yes well, there's more to dive into.' She distracts herself so that she doesn't have to gaze at his physique.
'I have a feeling you enjoy watching me squirm in my seat.' He states boldly, Jamila chuckles quietly and adjusts her scarf.
'It's only a matter of getting to the bottom of things.'
'And even if I'm utterly awkward about it, you don't care.'
'Right, because this is what I do.'
'You shrinks.' Bilal laughs.
'Hey!'
'I'm kidding.' He surrenders and opens the door to her office. 'I'll see you on Wednesday.' He throws her a smile of appreciation and leaves. Jamila simply nods and leans against her table with a sigh. Why do I feel guilty? Maybe because you were laughing with a stranger. Ugh, I didn't... This is bad. I don't like feeling like this. Repent and don't do it again. Should I tell Harun? No! He'll be.. Upset and I couldn't see him like that. Okay, alright. I got this. I'm in control, I won't allow this to happen again.
Salam Alaykum! Woot woot :D I've updated pretty fast the past couple of days eh :p anywaaayy, whadda y'all think? Big ol' Bilal is finally in the picture and Harun's got some competition XD comment, vote and share :) Peace- zai