The mental preparation it took to even get ready for Liam's party had me drained before I ever slid into my sweatshirt. My conversation with Liam the other night still sat heavy in the forefront of my thoughts, and it was kicking every other one that tried to occupy my mind to the curb.
There was a large part of me that knew I should break up with Jay. Not just because I had just been a pawn for him, but because since we'd met I hadn't felt any real connection. I believed I was in love with Jason McDermott for years, admiring from afar. But once I had him, the very thought of being in love with him seemed downright weird. He was a decent enough guy, but he was everything that I had thought Liam was. Arrogant, self-absorbed, very narcissistic, but unfortunately for Jay, that actually was who he was. There was no façade, no false assumptions; he wore his huge ego proudly. I was just terrified of what would come with breaking up with him. I had never liked being the center of attention, and something told me that Nicola would have a field day with me if I were to drop Jason.
"Where are you headed?" Mom peeked her head into my room with a small smile.
It had only been three days since Dad had moved out, but she had become a different person. She was home more; she'd only worked three eight-hour shifts since Tuesday. There were no more swing shifts, or overnights, she was here when I walked in every night and before I left for school every morning. She was smiling; even her hair was out of it's usual tight bun. She wasn't so uptight, my mother was finally happy.
"Liam Scott is throwing a party tonight." I decided it'd be best not to lie. "The twins are going and the boys won this evening, so I'm being forced to tag along since I'm one of the players girlfriend's and all."
"Mmm, which one are you dating again?" My mom questioned, tapping her fingers along my doorframe.
I narrowed my eyes, trying to figure out what she was getting at. My mother had the memory of an elephant, she didn't forget things. "Jason McDermott. I'm going to be honest with you though, Mom, I don't know what position he plays."
"I wonder if Liam Scott has anything to do with that." She touched her index finger to her chin with a smirk.
Was my mother taunting me?
"Definitely not. Only two positions I know in football are Quarterback and Linebacker and that's Liam and Andy, everyone else are just the offense and defense."
She laughed. "I understand that, trust me. I dated my fair share of players in high school. All their boy talk went right over my head."
"Exactly!" I joined her in the doorway, squeezing her hand. "How are you doing, Mom? Are you okay?"
She smiled then, in a way that made her eyes and nose crinkle. It'd been a long time since I'd seen it. "I'm doing okay, sweetie. I know with the holidays coming up it's going to be rough on us, but we've been through worse. I don't want to keep you here, though. Just be careful tonight and be safe. I know what it's like being a teenager at a party."
"Your forget Bryan is going to be there." I responded with a grin. "He's like a forty year old man in a seventeen year old boy's body, Mom."
"That he is." She agreed. "But I'm glad you have him. He's a good kid and loves you so so much."
A chuckle sounded from the foot of the stairs. "That I do."
My mom flashed Bryan a smile and squeezed his cheek on her way passed him once she reached the bottom step. I shut my bedroom door and jogged down to meet him, but his eyes were scanning the room. "It feels different without him here. So much more. . . peaceful and serene I guess."
Saying Bryan was relieved to hear about the divorce and my father moving out would be the understatement of the century. I'm sure he would have thrown a party to celebrate it if I hadn't begged him not to talk about it.
"Is that my sweatshirt?" he questioned on our way to the front door. "That's definitely my sweatshirt. I've been looking for that, you know."
"When in doubt, check Reese's closet." I joked, nudging his side. "I told you guys that years ago. Once I wear it you'll likely have to come retrieve it."
He laughed, looking down at me in amusement. "I would have thought that the fact you spend five days out of the week in my house, usually in my bed, that it would be close to impossible for you to steal my clothes still."
"My ways I have, Bryan." He shook his head with a deep laugh as he opened the passenger side door for me to get in. I had just finished buckling up when he started the car, allowing it to heat up before he started driving.
"So are you going to tell me what's bothering you or are you going to pretend you're all fine and dandy?" his words cut through the light, comfortable silence.
I rested my head against the cold window. "I'm good, Bry, I promise."
"Reese." He said my name with such a stern tone he sounded like my parents. "You can try to dismiss everyone else's concerns and lie, but I'm your best friend. Talk to me."
And I did. As he drove, I told him about my run in with Andy a few days prior and Liam's response. In fact, I told him everything about Liam and he just stared straight ahead, his jaw occasionally clenching at some of the things I said. Then finally, I told him about the divorce and how I really felt about it, how there was a dark cloud of sadness hanging over the house as the holidays slowly but surely crept up on us.
"Why do you keep all this bottled up?" was the first thing out of his mouth as soon as I finished talking. "You keep it all in until you can't anymore. Reese, that isn't healthy."
I shrugged. "It's easiest that way. Then I don't have to burden anyone with my problems."
"But I'm not just anyone, Reese. I'm your best friend, your better, extremely good looking, other half. I've seen you eat dirt and still fell in love with you."
I cracked a smile at that. It happened once when we were six and I'd been in the bathroom the rest of the night throwing up. Of course he hadn't boasted about being right, but had sat in there with me, worried.
"I just figured you didn't want to hear about my boy drama and Brianna's been so busy with Andy I didn't want to bug her. Plus, it'd put Andy right in the middle of things."
"I wouldn't say that." Bryan rubbed his jaw. "It sounds like Andy's got Liam's back, has yours, but doesn't really care for Jason. But that's not what I'm concerned with, not really. I don't think it's what you are really upset about either, honestly."
I looked over at him in the driver's seat, gnawing at the inside of his lip. "What do you mean?"
"I mean that the thought of you having feelings for Liam Scott makes you uncomfortable." Bryan paused, glancing my way. "You did the unthinkable and have made it so he's tolerable now, made him care for you. But you don't like that you have so much in common, that he makes you feel comfortable enough to breakdown in front of him."
"So do we, Bry. I feel comfortable with you too."
He looked ready to smack sense into me. "But I'm your best friend, even when I was in love with you, Reese, you never thought of me as anything but. I see how you are around Liam. I meant what I said about him being able to fill in the parts you need that I can't give you, Re."
I dropped my head back against the window and heaved out a dramatically loud sigh. "I think its better we stay friends, Liam and me. The result, if we ever went any further, could be catastrophic."
"Maybe." Bryan contradicted. "Or maybe it would be the best love story ever told. You're not going to ever know unless you try."
*
Despite the party being at his house, Liam was laying in the back of his truck when we pulled up. I had nearly walked passed him, but saw the bright red cuff of his Letterman just as I started up the driveway. My best friend looked back with a curious look, but I waved him ahead. He hesitated before walking through the open front door. I leaned forward on the tailgate of Liam's truck, tracing my fingers along the USC sticker his father had smacked on it. It was dirty and faded, and all that was visible was the U, the S and C had long since been scratched off.
"Why aren't you going inside?" Liam questioned, throwing a football into the air and letting it fall back into his expectant hands. "Your boyfriend is looking for you. So are Brianna and Shay."
"You looked lonely." I yawned. "Plus I'm not exactly in the partying mood. Why are you out here? Isn't this your party?"
He finally sat upright, his blue eyes narrowing. "Did you not see what your precious boyfriend did at the game? He fumbled the ball. We nearly lost. If we hadn't made that field goal, we would have."
"I'm sorry." I had seen Jason drop the ball. I'd also listened to him rant about how it was Liam's fault the entire way back to my house. "Doesn't mean you shouldn't celebrate. You guys still won."
"Miraculously." He grumbled bitterly. "It took everything in me not to punch that smug smirk off his face after the game. Like he hadn't just almost completely cost us our chance at playoffs."
I looked toward the front door then back to the host of the party. "I'm going to be honest, I wanted to do the same the ride home."
"Why?" Liam didn't even try to hide his shock.
"He likes to talk. A lot." I grimaced. "He's very narcissistic. He wouldn't take the blame. First it was you, then Andy, then Trey. It was always someone else's fault."
A smirk appeared on Liam's face, bringing his face to life again. "I think your chose the wrong player to change."
"I don't." I admitted. "I'm glad I blackmailed you, Liam."
He moved so he was at the edge of the tailgate, a few inches from where my hand was resting over the faded sticker. His legs dangled off for a second before he jumped down and gave my shoulder a playful, gentle shove.
"I'm glad you blackmailed me too, as strange as it sounds. But don't worry about Jason, Reese. He does seem to like you a lot, he just isn't the best at expressing it. If he tries any funny shit, I'll kick his ass. You know I have your back. I'll see you inside then, Dorothy?"
I smiled. "I thought I was the Wizard?"
"Nah, you're definitely Dorothy." He grinned. "The Wizard lied and pretended. Dorothy showed the Tin Man that he had a heart in there all along."
With the analogy as his parting words, Iwatched as he forced his smirk to meet his eyes and straightened himself, so hewas walking with confidence. It was confirmed then, as he broke through a crowdof teenagers smoking in front of the door, that I didn't want to lose this,lose him. For the first time in my life, I was going to ignore Bryan's words ofwisdom and stay friends with the jock and ensure it never became anything more.