I can't stop thinking about her.
I'm laying down, staring at the ceiling, thinking about Bella. Her hair, her smile, her scent, her eyes, the tiny freckles she has across her nose, her olive brown skin, her voice, her voice.
I could listen to her talk for hours, days even. I don't even care what it's about. Her voice is just so calming.
I don't know what's happening to me anymore.
A year ago I would have never believed that any of this would have happened and now, just laying down makes me think of her.
"You ok?" Elsie asks, walking into my room. "Thanks for knocking." I grumble, sitting up against the headboard. "Don't give my that Leonardo." Elsie says sitting down next to me. "Oh yeah, take a seat while you're at it."
Elsie flicks my forehead.
"What the fuck!"
"What are you so crabby about?" Elsie demands. I shake my head, "it's nothing."
"It's obviously something." She counters. "It's nothing Elsie!" I say again. I get a pointed look.
"Leonardo Smith. In the rudest way possible, shut up. I don't understand why you feel the need to hide everything from me! I just want to help you!" She's begging me to tell her. It's not that I don't trust her. Fuck, I would follow her blindly. But she's my little sister, I shouldn't need to trauma dump my problems to her.
"Leo."
"It's Bella." I mumble, my head looking down at my hands. Elsie stills, "who's Bella?" I look towards her, "Izzy?" Elsie squeals. An obnoxious, high pitched, squeal. "You gave her a nickname! When's the wedding?" I roll my eyes, "you're being dramatic."
"When was the last time you gave a girl a nickname?" Uhhh. "When was the last time you willingly sat by a girl?" Eight years? "When was the last time you-you know what? What color are her eyes?"
"Blue." I say without missing a beat. Elsie's smiles. And then it fades like she just registered why I'm upset. "Wait, why are you upset with Izzy?" I shake my head. "I'm not upset with her. I'm just so fucking confused."
"You're confused?" Elsie repeats.
"I don't know. Maybe confused is the wrong word. She's just always in my head. Fuck el, I can't even lay down without thinking about her." I rant.
Elsie smiles again, "you like her. Ask her out Leo." I open my mouth to speak but Elsie stops me.
"Shut up. You're going to take her out. Take her out to dinner. Ooo! Or a movie. Actually, not a movie, you can't talk. Unless it's only you two. But that might be weird...My point is, you deserve to be happy, and I'm not going to let your stupidity ruin your chance."
And with that speech out in the world she walks out of my room, mumbling something along the lines of "I should be a match maker" or some shit.
Elsie's words flash through my mind again; "you deserve to be happy, and I'm not going to let your stupidity ruin your chance."
My stupidity?
✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈
Why the fuck is this so hard!
I've spent the last two and a half hours looking up 'how to ask someone out on a date without implying that you can't go in public without getting a camera shoved in your face'
There isn't an answer for that by the way.
So I simplified it and ended up on Pinterest. It has a ton of photoshopped pictures but it's kinda working. Kinda.
Everything is just so unrealistic.
I mean, don't get me wrong, I would take that girl to Paris in a heartbeat but it seems like a little much for a first date. Now a second date...
Fuck!
I haven't even gotten a first date and I'm fantasizing about ideas for a second.
My thoughts are interrupted by my phone ringing.
I take one look at the caller ID and groan.
"Hey, dad."
*＊✿❀ ❀✿＊*
Chapter: 26
Words: 692
posted: 11/2/22 1:24 pm
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