Can had looked for her everywhere. He had returned from his run, seen her note and drank her lemonade with a smile, hoping to see her return soon, but that was not the case. He wanted to talk to her. In the meantime he had taken a swim in the pool and then returned to the loft to have a nice shower.
Once done, he left the room and walked around the house expecting to see her sitting somewhere, but nothing. He looked outside. She was not in the garden. He thought maybe she had gone to the vegetable garden, so he went to see and took the opportunity to pick some fresh vegetables for dinner. Nothing. It wasn't there either. He filled the basket he had brought and thought he would make a nice big salad with freshly picked tomatoes, just the way his wife liked it. The sun was beginning to set, so he decided to take the vegetables home and start preparing something. There was no sign of Sanem. He set the table for dinner. He tried to call her about the house. Maybe in that short time she had returned and they had not crossed paths. So he went to their room, but nothing. There was no one in the bathroom either.
Can began to worry. Where had she gone? Maybe she had arrived at the pier and stopped to watch the sunset? Had she gone on the boat? Doubts began to assail him. Maybe she had gone for a walk and got lost stepping on flowers at the creamery, he thought.
A strange feeling began to oppress his chest. No! He could not sit idly by. He tried calling her. Nothing. He heard her mobile phone ring. Was it at home? He went round all the rooms until he found it ringing on the dressing table. She had left it here... perfect. Now what? Anxiety was starting to set in. Maybe she had found some villagers and stopped to chat. No! Suddenly he grabbed Sanem's phone, her own, and ran outside. He would reach the pier. Two minutes later he was already there. The pier was desert, he got into the boat, checked inside and nothing. He got out.
On the pier he stopped for a moment to think. Could it be on the lawn nearby, where they had placed the largest hammock? He ran in that direction. Arriving, he recognised everything. The central mast and the large hammock with a view of their boat. It was not even there. He then decided to go to the creamery.
He only hoped she had not wandered into the surrounding forest, otherwise he was sure she was lost. No! He told himself. Let's think positive, let's not think the worst. He ran to the lab, called her out loud before looking out and seeing. Nothing! He went downstairs and also checked the storeroom where he kept the ready-made creams. Absolutely nothing.
"Mihriban's house!" He thought. Maybe she had gone to see Deniz. Strange! He had not seen Bulut's car since they had returned from the agency. But he couldn't know, maybe he had accompanied her and returned to the village. She called Deniz.
"Hello?"
"Hello Deniz, it's Can."
"Can, hello! Tell me! What's going on? Is everything OK?" she asked hearing his shortness of breath.
"Um... yeah, listen, are you at home? At Mihriban's I mean? Are you on the estate?" he asked.
"Um... no, I'm in the village with Bulut. He is helping me with the shopping. Why?" she asked.
"Ah, no, nothing... but from the agency, you haven't dropped by the estate then?" he asked to be sure.
"No, not yet.... Can? What's going on? Is Sanem OK? Has something happened to her? I can feel you're out of breath..." she asked starting to worry.
"No, no, don't worry Deniz. I'm running around the estate for this. I stopped now to call you. Sanem asked me, and.... I just remembered now. She is in the shower." He lied Can hearing the anxiety in Deniz's voice. It was hardly the time to add more anxiety to his, so he continued: "She wanted to ask you something. She didn't see you at the estate, that's why I was asking. Don't worry, we are fine... good, yes. She will ask you tomorrow then. It's not important now." he replied to cut it short.
"Ah, I understand. Okay... that's fine. I'll talk to her tomorrow then." replied Deniz more calmly.
"Sure. Don't worry, have a good evening Deniz and sorry to bother you." replied Can courteously.
"You don't even have to say it, Can. No trouble at all. See you tomorrow. Have a good evening too." replied Deniz.
"Thank you... see you tomorrow." Can hung up.
The two of them had not seen her.
"Sanem, where are you? Where?" he asked himself. He was going crazy.
He ran back to the estate, it was getting darker and darker. The sun was setting faster and faster. He arrived and, seeing the cottage, exclaimed: "Of course! The house of Mihriban! The other one! The one in the letter!" He arrived at the pool, looked around. He walked over to one of the stained-glass windows and cupped his hands over the glass to look inside. Everything was dark. No one seemed to be there. But Can decided to go inside anyway. He didn't have his keys with him though. "Damn!" he blurted to himself, hitting with one hand the handle of the kitchen back door through which they had entered a few hours earlier. The door opened. It was open!
He remembered very well that he had locked it the last time. A small hope was rekindling in him. He went inside thinking "This is a joke! Maybe Sanem hid herself to surprise me! That's why the door is open and it's all dark."
He walked in quietly. "Sanem?" he called aloud. He expected her to come out from some corner and turn on the lights and exclaim, "Surprise!!!" but nothing of that sort happened. Silence. Just silence. No rustling, no voices, nothing. So he slowly walked over to the nearest switch. He turned it on suddenly. Nothing. The room was in order, just as they had left it a few hours ago.
Then he went around the rooms, turning on all the lights. Nothing. She wasn't even here in the house.
He turned everything off, went back outside and panicked for a moment. In the meantime it had become dark. The sun had already set. She was not on the porch. He walked around the pool and sat down on one of the deckchairs that looked in the direction of the house. He rested his elbows on his legs and ran his hands over his face in despair. He was afraid. He closed his eyes for a moment, took a deep breath and thought.
Where had he not yet looked? Where could she be? He had not checked the forest... he needed help with that. He lay down with his hands in his hair.
"Ahhh!" he cried, out of desperation. He felt his heart hammering painfully in his chest. With his gaze still on the sky, in which he could now clearly see the stars, his eyes lingered on the upstairs terrace.
"The roof terrace!" he exclaimed aloud. It was the only place around there that he had not yet checked. He dashed up the stairs, it was his last hope. He reached the top and saw her there. Lying on the sofa. Completely asleep. Instantly, without realising it, a smile appeared on his face. He took a deep breath of relief.
He approached her slowly. One of her arms dangled out from the sofa and she was stand still, too stand still. This was not like her.
The worry returned. His heart was beating wildly, making more noise than it had ever made up since that moment. He walked over to the sofa, sat down on the coffee table opposite and looked at her. Her eyes were wet and her face streaked with tears.
He was instantly worried.
"Sanem?" He called her softly. She did not wake up.
"Sanem?" he tried again, swinging his arm at her. Nothing.
He immediately took the other dangling arm and placed it on her chest. He looked at her carefully. Her breathing was regular. She was getting cold though. So he picked her up and walked down the stairs and carried her home. He stretched her out on the sofa, took one of the many blankets nearby and covered her like a cocoon, pressing her tightly to the sides. He crouched beside her head and with slow gestures began to caress her. She had no fever, he thought, touching her forehead. With his fingers he dried those tears. Then he lowered himself onto her, kissing both her cheeks. A sweet smile appeared on Sanem's face. "Love?" called Can to her softly. "Sanem?"
"Mh..." she replied.
"Wake up..." he told her softly.
She stretched and turned her head towards him. "Mh... Can..." she said smiling slyly.
"I'm here..." he replied. "Open your eyes."
Sanem opened her eyes, blinking them continuously. She was still in dreamland. "That was beautiful." she said.
"What was beautiful?" asked Can curiously.
"Sanem?" he called her again.
Sanem finally opened his eyes. He stretched and focused on his surroundings. He saw Can in front of him. "Can? What am I doing here?" he said pulling himself up sharply.
"Easy!" Can saw her swinging.
"Ah! Sanem you startled me!" he exclaimed hugging her tightly. Then he caressed her again and again. "Are you alright? Why did you cry?" asked Can with sad eyes.
"I'm fine." she replied in a sleepy voice. "Why? What did I do?" she asked.
"You had fallen asleep on the roof terrace!" he exclaimed as he looked into her eyes.
"Huh?!" she exclaimed incredulously.
"Yes, love. I've been looking all over for you!" confirmed Can.
"Ah, but it's dark outside!" snapped Sanem realising. "Oh God... the terrace! How long did I sleep?"
"Pretty much I'd say!" he replied pointing to the starry sky outside.
"But how..." she began.
"I came back from running, read your note and thought you would be back shortly. Time passed and I didn't see you coming, so I got worried and looked for you everywhere. At the vegetable garden, at the pier, on the boat, at the creamery, here in the garden, at home... I even called you, but you forgot your phone in our room. I even called Deniz! I didn't know what to do! I even thought you were lost in the forest!" concluded Can worriedly.
"What?!" she exclaimed surprised. "Why did you call Deniz?" she asked.
"I thought you had gone to see her at Mihriban's house, I don't know... to chat a bit... but she said that with Bulut they had not yet returned to the estate. They were still in the village," he replied.
"And what did you tell her?" she asked, increasingly surprised.
"I made up an excuse. I said you were looking for her to ask her something, but it was not important and could wait until tomorrow. She was already agitated when I asked about you... and believe me, at that moment the last thing I wanted was further agitation. Mine was already enough!"
Sanem saw the fatigue on Can's face and caressed him.
"And how did you find me?" she asked.
"The only place I hadn't checked around here yet was that house. I thought maybe you had popped in, to think about Mihriban's proposal. So I took a look inside, but everything was off. The kitchen door was open, though. I remembered I had closed it, so I thought you were inside and that... I don't know, you wanted to surprise me, or a joke. That you'd appear in the dark, that's it. I called you, but nothing. You weren't there. I was about to form a search team, when on my way out, I realised I hadn't checked the terrace, so I came up there and found you asleep as a rock. You had me worried. You were pale and your eyes were full of tears. Sanem, please what happened? Tell me. Did you have a nightmare again?" Can spat it all out in one breath. He caught his breath.
"Hey, calm, my love!" said Sanem hugging him. "Come here." she said, making him sit on the sofa next to her and massaging his back with circular gestures.
"It's true, I cried." Sanem replied. "But those were not tears of sadness. They were tears of joy!"
"How?" he asked, loosening his embrace to look at her better.
"They were. And if you hadn't pointed it out to me, I wouldn't have even realised I was actually crying." Sanem replied.
Can remained interjected.
"I had a dream, love. It felt so real!" explained Sanem with a smile. She was in the clouds.
"Yes, but what were you doing there?" he asked.
"Now I'm going to tell you. I wrote to you in the note that I was going for a walk around the estate, and that was how it was supposed to be. But I kept thinking about Mihriban's letter, and once I left, I told myself to drop by the cottage, to get an idea. I wanted to reflect. So I went into the house and when I came out I must have forgotten to lock up. Then I sat for a moment on the deckchair there in the garden, and looking up, I realised that I had never been up on the terrace. So once on top, I was enchanted by the view! Wow! You could really see everything when you stood there," she recounted.
"Yes... but mostly I was seeing you." he replied.
"How? Really?" She asked surprised.
"Yes, I watched you at night when you were lighting incense to prepare to write, I saw you doing readings to the village children, I saw you shedding tears, I saw you lying in your hammock... let's just say I watched you a lot." he admitted.
"Ah! I can't believe it... I never realised." she replied.
"And how could you? I was very careful not to be seen." he replied, winking at him.
Then he added: "Here, I hope you don't mind, but... I like looking at you."
"Ah, Can, how sweet you are! How could I mind!" she replied hugging him.
"And then what happened?" asked Can returning to the main topic.
"Then I don't know. At some point I felt tired... so tired. So I sat for a moment, then I lay down, closed my eyes in the sun five minutes... and nothing. I fell asleep." she explained.
Can stroked her hand, brought it to his lips and kissed it.
"But Can... I had a beautiful dream." she remembered.
"Do you want to tell me about it?" he asked, stroking her arm.
"Of course. Also because I would like to talk to you about the house later." she added.
"I wanted to tell you about it too." he admitted.
"Ah, OK. Perfect then." she exclaimed.
"Yes but first tell me about your dream, I'm curious." he replied.
"It was weird. Can was so real. I was a spectator in my own dream. And there was you and me." she replied with a strange glint in her eyes.
"So you were seeing yourself in the dream? Did I get that right?" asked Can in curiosity.
"Exactly, like there were two me's. One starring in the dream and the other, the current me, watching."
"OK..." said Can a little puzzled. "Go on."
"We were in a green green field with tall grass moved by the wind. A kind of clearing. The field was familiar. In the center was a four-poster bed from which fluttered white...white draperies." she described with her eyes closed reliving the scene.Can made a strange face.Sanem stopped her narrative. "What? What's going on?"
"Nothing..." replied Can, "go on." he told her." You and I were sleeping in this bed and ... between us was a little girl with light hair, she must have been 5-6 years old. She was also sleeping, and you were hugging her." said Sanem with his eyes closed, retracing the dream."At some point two other children came, one was a boy with light-colored hair and the other a little girl with dark hair. The child was very lively and looked a lot like you. The little girl, on the other hand, had the same cut of eyes as me," Sanem recalled looking at Can sobbing.They climbed into bed and woke you up.... "Daddy! Daddy!" they called. Said Sanem with tears streaking her cheeks again. She wiped them away with a quick gesture and smiled.Can wanted to intervene, but seeing her so moved he decided to keep quiet."They were really hungry. And you told them you would make them your delicious chocolate creap. But they were afraid I would get angry, because I told them they 'hurt their tummies.'" she recalled.You answered them with your usual Can Divit modesty, that I wouldn't get mad, because you knew I wouldn't be able to resist. She paused.
He smiled.
"So you took them with you and slowly, while I slept, you moved away from the bed. You four, you were so beautiful!" said Sanem sobbing even louder.
"Sanem..." said Can trying to console her. "I can't see you like this!" Is that why you were crying then? And is that always why you are crying even now?"
"Yes, but not only that." said Sanem swallowing hard.
"Wait! I'll get you a glass of water." said Can seeing that her throat was dry.
"Here, drink it quietly." he said handing it to her.
"Thank you." she replied still shaken.
Sanem drank, but did not recover. "Do you know what hurt the most?"
Can remained silent, attentive in anticipation.
"Seeing me lying there in bed, blissfully asleep... missing all this!" Sanem burst into tears.
Can was worried, it was a bit of an overreaction from his wife.
"Shh! Sanem, don't cry. It was a dream." he reassured her.
"And you know what? I know this dream very well!" he admitted with a smile.
"What do you mean?" said Sanem.
"That's it, I had the exact same dream! That's why I made that face earlier. I was in disbelief, but I wanted you to finish your story." he admitted, gently stroking her face to wipe away those tears.
"Did you dream the exact same thing too? I mean, the bed, the camp, the children..." she said trying to compose a meaningful sentence.
"Our children." said Can. And I'll tell you more: "That field that you called 'so familiar', I know very well where it is."
"And where is it?" asked Sanem shocked.
"It is here on Mihriban's property. Do you remember where the old shed that was set on fire used to be? When you came to bring me dolmas and told me you no longer drank tea? Remember?"
"Ah! Oh God! Yes, I remember now! You're right!" Said Sanem bringing her hands to cover her mouth. "At that time, it was full of yellow flowers."
"Just that!"
"Can, do you think what I think?" she asked.
"About Mihriban's house?" he asked back.
Sanem nodded her head yes.
"Can, with this dream I think I understood what Mihriban meant when she said 'think about the future'. In the dream I was helpless, but I don't want to be helpless, I want to act! I want to see what happens, and I like to see us here, in this house and on this estate. That's why I would like to see us here in the future."
"I wanted to talk to you about it too. I thought a lot while running and realised that fate brought us to this house and this estate. We have memories in common here, we have all the comforts that suit us. And we have dreams in common. And I would also like to have a house in common. In the future I would like to be able to see our children running around these meadows, and I know you want that too!" he replied confidently.
"Yes, Can. This is our home. I think we don't need to think too much about it." she replied.
"I agree." said Can kissing her on the temple.
"Sister Mihriban will be very happy!" replied Sanem elatedly.
"And we will be too!" replied Cann with a smile.
"We already are!" she exclaimed.
"We will be even more so." he continued.
Sanem kissed Can.
"Shall I call Metin?" he asked.
"Call him tomorrow. Don't go far away. Stay here with me. I'm so tired." said Sanem yawning.
"OK, let's do one thing." said Can getting up. He moved the low table in front of the couch and took the dining table swapping places with them.
"There you go. So you won't have to get up." he exclaimed.
"Uh, yeah, what a husband I have!" admitted Sanem resting her head on her knees raised to her chest.
Can reacted in his usual manner. He rolled his hand in the air, towards himself. The typical gesture when he received compliments.
They ate and cuddled for a while on the couch.
"Can, what are we going to do once we sign?" asked Sanem thoughtfully.
"What do you mean?" he asked.
"Are we going to move there immediately? Or will we stay here?" she asked directly.
"What were you thinking?" he asked.
"I don't know." she replied uncertainly.
"I think it's better to stay here at the loft for the time being. The cottage is also our home. And we shouldn't feel obliged to move in right away just because we signed. We will think about what is more right to do. Time will tell." Can replied confidently.
"Yes, I agree," she confirmed.Sanem yawned again.
"Are you still tired?" asked Can surprised seeing her like that.
"Yes, Can. I'm so tired. I can't keep my eyes open. I don't understand." she said in a slow motion voice.
"It must be a drop in tension. The days since we've been back have been pretty intense." admitted Can in retrospect.
"Hmm... possible. Can?" asked Sanem with her eyes closed.
"Tell me, my love." he replied.
"Shall we go to bed?" she asked.
"Yes, I think it's about time." Said Can looking at her.
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Hello reader :)
Thank you for finishing the 28th chapter.
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Until the next one!