Inko: Kesley! Kelsey!
Kelsey: WHAT?!
Inko: It's almost time for your Sweet 16! I need you to the run store:
Kelsey: UGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!! FINE!
(Kelsey the Explorer: Sweet 16 Special)
Kelsey: Soda, cookies, plaintain- BARF! Help me out! Which beer has the highest alcohol by volume?
Lager, American Style Beer, or Brewing Co Beer?
It's Lager!
Kelsey: Good choice!
My dumbass picks it up.
Izuku: Uh, Kelsey,m? You're not old enough to buy that.
Kelsey: No shit!
I take one and out another one into Deku's mouth.
Kelsey: Now let's complete this transaction.
Guy: Hey! Stop that kid!
I leave.
Kelsey: I need your help again! I need everyone to shout! Where my motherfucking map at?!
My backpack
Kelsey: Aw, yeah! Map! Show me where to find my friend Beantrocity , they're always here.
Denki: I uh- I don't know Kelsey.
I scratch part of his face.
Denki: OW! Okay okay! They're at the park on 12 under the jungle gym!
Kelsey: They said they might have some eggs too! You can call me Kelsey the X-plorer!
~Timeskip~
Kelsey: Hey! I need your help! Kirishima, or Tsuyu?
You picked Tsu!
Kelsey: Don't know if you're even here.
I make out with Tsuyu and everyone takes photos.
Mineta is being Mineta.
Mineta: Just call me the virginity swiper!
Kelsey: Mineta, no more! Mineta, no more!
A weird woman: You're too late!
Mineta: Oh man!
They make out in a closet.
Inko: I wish BIGDADDYOFSATAN999 was here to see our little girl become a woman.
Afo: Devils are cute when they're little, but Satan's dad, he got big.
~Flashback~
Old lady: Well hello Satan's dad!
The devil slams the old woman into her car.
She bleeds and falls to the ground.
The devil continues to hit her body on the pavement.
A police officer shoots him.
~End of Flashback~
Everyone runs outside.
Todoroki: Oh my god! Kelsey's on the roof!
Kelsey: I bet I can fly. Do you think I can fly?
...
Kelsey: I've never been able to hear you! It's just the story's big lies!
I jump off and slam my head onto the sidewalk. I die.
Everyone: *Gasps and groans*
Iida: She missed the pool.
I'm a dead idiot
愛などない