My entire life whenever I was faced with indecisiveness or tragedy, I made a list. It was a coping mechanism of a sort, I suppose, as it was the only way I could calm myself during a panic attack. Sometimes the lists were just things I loved in chronological order, sometimes a pro and con, and sometimes they were an entire Playbook of good deeds for the school's egotistical bad boy to complete.
As I shut my notebook, I couldn't help but wonder exactly the reason for making a list in relation to Liam Scott. Sure, he was a prick with a superiority complex, but he hadn't ever actually made me feel a thing outside of distaste and disgust. The fact that I was so enthralled in writing out this crazy playbook made my skin crawl a little; maybe there was an underlying issue that needed to be solved that my brain hadn't quite wrapped its head around yet, but my heart had discovered long ago.
"Reese." My mom's quiet hum broke me from my tired daze. When I glanced up she was leaning into the doorframe in her scrubs, bags so heavy under her eyes that I was sure she'd gotten about as much sleep as I had last night. "Bryan's here, sweetheart."
I stood, not bothering to rush around in a frenzy to try and find nicer close to put on. Bryan had seen me in worse things than rainbow pajamas.
My weak smile faltered as soon as I was eye to eye with my mother in the doorway. She looked so completely, utterly exhausted that I wanted to hug her and assure her that things would get better. The unfortunate truth, however, was that things likely would only go down hill from here. My parents had been waging war on one another for the last two years, after my mother had caught my father cheating-in their own bedroom upstairs. My mother, the sweet, forgiving heart she had, forced herself to forgive Dad and tried to work things out. My mother was also a devout Christian who didn't believe in divorce, and I knew deep down she was afraid of the judgement she'd receive from the rest of our family.
But with the twelve hour graveyard shifts at the hospital and coming home to stand victim to my father's verbal abuse had to be taking its toll on her body. So much so that sometimes she didn't come home after work, but I'd learned, stayed overnight to avoid facing my father.
"I have a swing shift tonight." She said through a yawn, her blue eyes roaming my face. "Your father is in Rhode Island for the weekend too. Just make sure to have Bryan stay until I get home or head over to the Waters house, I don't want you home all alone."
I nodded and hugged her gently. She clutched me tightly against her, her own version of an apology as she'd always struggled to find the words to actually verbalize it.
"Hi, honey!" My mother tried to greet Bryan with enthusiasm, but my best friend only waved shyly and stepped aside so my mother could hurry out the door. "You two behave yourselves!"
She shut the door behind her a little too hard. A picture frame of a family photo hung over the mantel rattled and would have crashed to the ground if Bryan didn't have super secret ninja skills and caught it.
"You both look exhausted." Bryan commented, rehanging the photo. "Your dad is back already?"
"No. Just more nightmares for me." I sighed, throwing myself down on the sofa. "And you know how Mom is, she avoids this house like its her own personal hell."
Which I guess it kind of was.
Bryan heaved out a sigh and crossed the room to me, immediately pulling me into his arms. That was one of the many things I loved about having him as my best friend. I didn't have to talk about it, he always just knew and was there.
"How's the playbook coming?" He questioned, taking the vacant seat beside me as he smoothed out the wrinkles in his red shirt. "Figure anything that'll make Scott's skin crawl yet?"
I shot him a look. He was obviously trying to make conversation, but right now, this wasn't really the right conversation starter. "Aren't we supposed to be studying?"
"We don't need to study." Bryan rolled his eyes, flashing me a grin. "We'd ace every class because we actually, you know, pay attention in class and take notes."
"The playbook is fine, it's just pissing me off because he's actually handling it a lot better than I thought he would." I grumbled bitterly, "I think Bri was on to something saying that we were underestimating him."
Bryan shook his head, waving a hand in the air dismissively. "Nah. It's only the first thing on the list, Re. He'll break at some point, show a dink in his armor."
"Why do you dislike him so much?" I was genuinely curious. Bryan voiced his opinion on a lot of things, but had always been kind of quiet when it came to Liam. Unless, like a few days ago, he was pushed to his limit and snapped.
"I guess. . . I guess I kind envy him. I always kind of have." Bryan said with a shrug, avoiding my eyes. "He has is all. The girls, the friends, the athleticism, the confidence. I'd kill for just a quarter of the confidence he had."
I thought back to a couple days ago when he'd mentioned Liam's attitude and personality being nothing but a façade. As I watched my best friend run his hand along the stubble on his chin, I couldn't help but wonder how much of an act Bryan was putting on himself.
"You've got a lot of that too, Bry." I reminded him. "Except for the athleticism. You couldn't throw a ball if you tried."
He cracked a smile at that. Bryan had the coordination of a one year old learning to walk the first time, he had since we were six. He'd decided long ago that academics were the way to go and to steer clear of any sport.
"Since we don't need to study, wanna head to the mall?" Bryan suggested, leaning over and nudging me with his elbow. "There's a new book store that just opened calling your name."
*
One of the few things I hadn't expected as we headed into the food court was to find Liam in front of Subway, Andrew flanking him as they talked to a couple girls from school. I immediately felt Bryan grow rigid beside me, but he didn't say anything, only watched as I did. After about a minute, one of the girls slapped Liam hard across the face and took off in the other direction. I caught a glimpse of Bryan smiling out of my peripheral, but it faltered moments later as I started across the crowded food court for my experiment subject.
"Hey, Liam!" I forced my voice to be as high pitched as possible. "Fancy seeing you here."
The second he heard me, Liam grew just as stiff as my best friend had seconds prior. His lip twitched a little, eyes trained ahead fluttering shut. It was as if he were trying to compose himself before speaking to me. Some part of me how believed that when I'd see Andy or Liam in public that they'd still be sporting their Letterman's with a form fitting v neck underneath. Somehow, seeing both boys in oversized shirts and worn jeans was a little unnerving.
"Hey." Andrew eventually said as I approached, coming to the obvious conclusion his friend wasn't going to answer me. "What are you doing here? You stalking us, Taylor?"
I touched my index finger to my lips with a smile in his direction. "Don't tell anybody, but I'm actually secretly obsessed with egotistical jocks on a power trip."
Andy died at the response, Bryan even smiled a little beside me. Liam, though, he looked as if he were ready to close the distance between us and strangle me.
"What are you doing here, Reese?" Liam spoke for the first time since I joined them.
"Shopping." I replied honestly. "What are you guys doing here? Torturing poor girls."
Andy must have sensed Liam's behavior shift, because he slapped a hand against Liam's chest before he could move toward me. "Nah, there was a new Jordan drop and I wanted to check it out."
This actually sparked a little interest in Bryan. He and Andrew started talking about the newest limited-edition shoes that I couldn't care less about, but made them both extremely excited. After a minute of quiet conversation, Andy invited us back to their table to sit. I allowed the two of them to sit and headed for a small Chinese joint in the corner of the food court. I could feel Liam on my tail, but he waited until we were out of sight of our friends to grasp my forearm.
"What the hell is this about, Taylor? Why are you here?"
I shook him off with a grimace. "I really did come here to shop, Liam. You just so happened to be torturing some poor girl when we walked in here. Figured I'd let you know I saw it. That's strike one."
"Strike one? What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"You have three strikes, like baseball. If you get to three you can kiss me doing the report goodbye."
He blinked a few times, his blue-gray eyes burning holes into the very depths of my soul, before a hint of a smirk crossed his face. "Holy shit, you're blackmailing me."
"Not black mail." I shrugged, moving forward in line. "Think of it as a security measure to make sure you actually go along with this."
"You're hard to figure out." Liam said quietly, eyebrows draw. "It's kind of hot. Kinda like chasing a girl that's hard to get."
I made a face. "Eww."
For whatever reason his small pea sized brain thought up, he stayed next to me until I'd ordered food and headed back to the table. I slid Bryan's take-out container down the table and sat in the booth beside him, feeling my cheeks grow warm when I realized all three boys were looking at me.
"Can I help you?" I looked from Bryan to Andy, then finally to an amused Liam.
"You eat like a dude." Andy said with a laugh, then added, "I don't mean that to be offensive, it's just crazy to see a girl actually eat something for once."
Bryan pointed his chopstix at Andy across the table. "You should see her with burgers."
All three of them laughed while I sunk back in my seat, arms crossed. "You guys are dicks."
It was actually kind of strange seeing Andy and Bryan get along, they couldn't be more different, but I guess their common love of shoes had broken the ice between them. Which, in Brianna's case, would do a whole lot of good.
Of course the common ship and blooming friendship had to be cut by the devil himself.
"So," Liam leaned forward, elbows digging into the table top as he pointed a finger between Bryan and me. "you two a thing?"
Andy shook his head, reaching up to pinch the bridge of his nose. I shook my head, actually not too irritated with the notation. We got it a lot, Liam wasn't the first to ask the question, and I'm sure he wouldn't be the last. It was when I snuck a quick glance at Bryan that my stomach twisted into a knot. He'd grown tense, sending daggers at the boy across the table, who only returned them with a smirk.
"I mean, you two are always together." Liam continued. "And this poor guy is always trailing along behind you like a lost puppy, Reese."
"Liam." Andrew warned with a dark look. "Stop."
I stabbed a chopstick into a piece of chicken and sighed. "No, Liam, we aren't together. He's my best friend, nothing more. Stop being an ass."
"Does he know that?" It was those four words that triggered Bryan. He nudged me until I stood and stepped beside the booth and stalked out of the food court. Andy shoved his best friend's arm angrily before rising to find Bryan. Liam leaned back in the booth, a satisfied smile on his face.
"I should seriously gouge your eyes out with this chopstick." I snapped. "Or maybe another, more delicate, part of your body."
His head whipped in my direction. "Funny."
"Who says I'm joking?" I closed my container and glared across the table at him. "The only reason I'm not giving you a strike on that one is because you didn't technically say anything messed up. Though, you were trying to irritate him enough to snap."
"You know he's totally in love with you, right?" Was all Liam took out of my conversation.
I averted my eyes with a shrug of one shoulder. "I'm aware, doesn't mean you have to make digs at him, Liam."
"You should let him down easy." Liam suggested. "Tell him there's no chance in hell anything beyond friendship will happen."
"Can you just shut your mouth for once?" I finally growled, then realizing I'd lost control of myself, dropped my gaze to the table again and said, "Please, Liam, bud the hell out of my life. This Playbook has nothing to do with our personal lives. So you stay out of mine, I'll stay out of yours."
*
Bryan stayed silent until we were out in the parking lot. "Do you have any idea what you're doing, Reese?"
"Excuse me?" I halted to a stop and looked toward him in confusion.
"With this Playbook shit, messing with Liam's head. Do you have any idea how much you're going to be hurting at the end of this?"
I blinked, taken back by his words. "I'll be fine, Bryan. He's playing my game, not the other way around."
"Are you sure?" Bryan said through his gritted teeth. "You better make sure that you don't fall victim to his own manipulation during this."
"I don't even understand how you think I'll end up hurt at the end of this. How? What can Liam possibly do that'll hurt me?"
Fury brightened my best friend's hazel eyes. "Manipulate you into falling for him, maybe? Making you think he cares when he wants nothing more than an A on a project and possibly a nice lay."
"Shut up!" I shoved him away from me. "Stop being a jerk."
He stared at me for a long time, then once he'd recollected himself shook his head and turned his back to me. I stood on the sidewalk, watching in complete silence as he backed out of his parking spot and headed for the other end of the lot, leaving me stranded on the curb with no way home.