Chapter 62: Goodbyes
My hands were shaking. I dropped the piece of paper on the floor, not knowing what to do. My mind suddenly went black with my back shivering cold as though I was being pulled back to the time when fear was the only thing tangible in my life, the only reason why my heart beats fast.
I sat on the edge of my bed with my weakened knee. Nawalan ako ng lakas. Hindi ko magawang tumayo nang maayos. Ang buong akala ko nalampasan ko na ito... ang kontrata. The only reason why I never thought of leaving madame. Because I was bound to serve her for the rest of my life.
But I thought she's rotting in jail? Ang buong akala ko hindi na niya ako kailanman mahahawakan. I bit my nails unconsciously. Ano'ng gagawin ko?
With trembling hands, I run downstairs to one of the staff offices in the main building. I dialed a number on the phone I've memorized since I saw it in his office. Hindi ako mapalagay habang naghihintay na may sumagot ng tawag.
"Hello?"
"Kuya..." my voice trembled. "I... need your help."
--
On the same night, I waited for Alexander to arrive. I kept walking back and forth, unable to stay still. I told him I'll wait for him in the greenhouse. Hindi ko gustong pag-usapan ang bagay na ito sa main building.
No one in Van Zanth knew about this. And I was afraid that once they learned about this, that the alpha's mate is someone's slave, tuluyang magbabago ang tingin nila sa'kin.
Kinagat ko ang ibabang labi ko na pulang-pula at halos dumugo na. Umupo ako sa bench malapit sa lily pond, ngunit kalaunan ay muling tumayo.
Tahimik ang buong greenhouse. The smell of earth and green lingered in the air. The evening sky beyond the glass roof remained cast with thin sheets of clouds. Hindi ko magawang kumalma kahit alam kong kailangan ko.
Alexander finally arrived. He rushed inside the greenhouse at agad akong hinanap. Once he saw me standing by the bench, he immediately approached me.
"Kuya..." I was trying to keep my voice stable, to hold back my tears.
Alexander was still catching his breath, with his hands planted over his bent knee. "May problema ba? Bakit bigla mo akong gustong makausap?"
I handed him the piece of paper with shaking hands. Tuluyang tumulo ang aking luha nang titigan niya ito. "I'm sorry," I mumbled. "I didn't know better when they forced me to sign it. I thought it was my only way out of my previous owners."
Kinuha niya ang papel at binasa ang mga nakasulat. Unti-unti niyang naikuyom ang kanyang palad, crumpling the edges of the paper. Alexander let out a low curse.
"Where did you get this? Do you have this all along?"
Umiling ako habang patuloy ang pamumuo ng luha sa aking mga mata. "May nagpadala sa'kin nito. It was only a copy. Madame had the original copy of the contract."
Kumunot ang kanyang noo sa galit. "Madame?"
"She was my owner before I came here in Van Zanth. Siya ang naka-engkwentro nila Zackary sa Fabrice. The woman behind one of the largest hybrid trafficking group."
Muli akong umupo sa bench. My hands were cold and weak on my lap. "What should I do?" I mumbled, voice raw and breaking. "She still have power over me."
"Sa huling pagkakatanda ko, nakakulong parin siya," Alexander stated with gritted teeth. "Kailangan kong malaman kung ano ang nangyari sa kanya sa Fabrice."
I raised my head to stare up at Alexander's face standing in front of me. "Masasaktan niya pa ba ako?" tanong ko. "Maaari niya ba akong makuhang muli?"
He stretched his fingers in both hands as though trying to exert control over his emotions. "Not in my watch. Hindi ko hahayaang may mangyaring masama sa'yo, Elea."
My eyes were watery and stinging as I nodded.
"Zackary's out of town for a few days to deal with the council. But we can inform him--"
Inabot ko ang braso ni Alexander at mahigpit na hinawakan. Napatitig siya sa'kin nang umiling ako. "If he's dealing with the council right now, I can't let him go back here because of a piece of paper. This doesn't cause me harm yet."
"Eleanor..."
I lowered my gaze, unable to stare at Alexander's face. "I don't want him to think of me differently," I mumbled with voice so low I wouldn't be surprise if Alexander was unable to hear it. But he did.
"Ano'ng ibig mong sabihin?" mariin niyang tanong.
Nanatili ang atensyon ko sa palad kong walang tigil sa maliliit na paggalaw. "What if he regret his decisions once he learned about this? What if the people of Van Zanth learned about this? I thought I've gone far from who I used to be. I did everything I could to have an identity of my own. Why did my past kept haunting me?"
Nagkaroon ng panandaliang katahimikan bago muling nagsalita si Alexander. "'Wag mo itong masyadong isipin," sinabi niya sa'kin. "Kung kailangan kong burahin ang lahat ng taong konektado sa nakaraang tinatakasan mo, gagawin ko. Once Zackary comes back, I'll handle this."
Tuluyan akong tumingala upang muli siyang pagmasdan. "Will you be okay?"
Alexander placed his palm over my head. Marahan siyang ngumiti, assuring me that everything would be fine. "Don't forget, I'm the beta of Van Zanth."
--
After our conversation, Alexander left the apothecary. Bumalik akong muli sa kwarto, pero hindi ko magawang mapalagay. It was already late evening but I couldn't sleep. I couldn't even close my eyes. Dahil sa aking isip, muli kong nakikita ang mga alaala na pilit kong kinakalimutan.
Dumating ang bagong umaga na wala akong ano mang tulog. I went through my day, had breakfast in the hall with the other staff, spent my entire day working in the tower with Anabeth. I tried to focus on my tasks para panandaliang kalimutan ang takot ko at mga bagay na gumugulo sa'kin.
I just had to patiently wait for Alexander's update. Kapag nagmadali ako o naging padalos dalos, mas lalo lang itong makakasama sa sitwasyon.
The next afternoon, muling bumisita si Alexander sa apothecary. I rushed to the drawing room kung saan siya naghihintay. Pagbaba ko, nadatnan ko siyang nakaupo sa couch, elbows on his knees and frustration on his face. Agad siyang tumayo nang makalapit ako.
"Is... there something wrong?" Maging ako ay natakot sa maaari niyang sabihin. My heart slowly clenched inside my chest before Alexander could even speak.
"They let her bail."
Biglang naglaho ang buong lakas ko. I stared at Alexander, eyes wide in daze.
"They set her free?" I repeated because things weren't sinking in my head.
Unti-unti kong naikuyom ang aking mga palad until my nails dug the inside of my palms. Dahil hindi ko gustong makita ni Alexander ang nanginginig kong mga kamay. I didn't want him to see how terrified I was.
"How... why..." Hindi ko mabuo ang mga nais kong sabihin. My thoughts were racing inside my head, pero hindi magawang gumalaw ng buo kong katawan.
"I couldn't leave the town until the alpha is back, so I sent someone to Fabrice yesterday to check. She's been roaming free for more than a month now."
Umiling ako. "But... she did horrible things... she was one of the people who made my life a living hell." I slowly raised my hand over my mouth, unable to believe what I heard.
"The only authority who have this kind of power is the council," Alexander said. "Mukhang alam ko na ang gusto nilang mangyari kaya nila ito ginawa."
Napatitig ako sa kanya.
"Zackary and the Van Zanths are untouchable. So they aim for you because Zackary will falter if you do. They consider you as his weakness."
Bigla kong naalala ang warning ni Rebecca tungkol sa council, tungkol sa maaari nilang gawin. There were people in that institution who will do anything to get what they wanted, even at the expense of other people's lives.
Nanatili ang titig ko kay Alexander, sa aking kapatid. In his eyes was liquid fire. "But they failed to consider one thing," his voice was cold and sinister. "I'm your brother and I will make do everything in my power to protect you."
Alexander told me he needed to head back to Grassco, our family's hometown. Base on the seal on the paper, it's where the contract was executed.
"There must be something in that town I wasn't aware of during my visits," he told me. "Because no decent leaders of town would allow anyone to practice this kind of contract. Sa oras na makabalik si Zackary kailangan kong dumeretso sa Grassco."
"I'll go with you." Nakatayo na kami sa labas ng greenhouse nang sabihin ko ito. Paalis na si Alexander pero tila hindi ko magawang hayaan siyang mag-isang harapin ito. "I'm the one in the contract," I explained. "They might need me to confirm things."
"Hindi ka papayagan ni Zackary sa oras na malaman niya ang sitwasyon. Ni hindi ka niya papayagang lumabas sa lugar na ito. He won't let something as serious as this slip so easily."
Bumuntong hininga si Alexander.
"Ito marahil ang gustong makita ng konseho. To see Zackary lose control over the issue of your safety and identity. To show he's incapable of making rational decisions when it comes to you."
I bit my lower lip before I mustered the courage to say, "Hindi niya kailangang malaman." Pinagmasdan ako ni Alexander na tila may sinabi akong hindi tama.
"We can fix this, right? I can fix this. It doesn't have to concern him. I would never let anyone use me against him." Nag-init ang sulok ng aking mga mata, muling nagbabadya ang luha. But in my voice was determination.
Bago umalis sa apothecary, sinabihan ako ni Alexander na maghanda sa aming pag-alis sa oras na makabalik si Zackary sa Van Zanth. A part of me was holding on to the hope that we could still fix this. Madami na akong pinagdaanan, ganoon din si Alexander. This couldn't be our downfall.
--
A day later, while busily working in the tower, Anabeth pulled her seat next to me.
"You're leaving tomorrow?"
"I'll head to my hometown to check on something," I told her, pausing from my task.
Tinitigan niya lamang ako. I've been restless these past few days and knowing Anabeth, alam kong napapansin niya ito. "Are you alright?" tanong niya sa'kin.
Ngumiti ako at tumango. I'm sorry, Anabeth, but I'll have to fix this first before I could tell you everything. Because I don't want you to see me differently.
"You know you can tell me anything, right?" muli niyang sinabi.
"I know..." I mumbled. "Can I have a hug then?"
Her eyes crinkled at the corners, staring at me suspiciously. But then she stood up from her seat and reached for my back in an embrace habang nanatili akong nakaupo sa silya.
"Eleanor..."
"I just need it," bulong ko.
Hindi siya nagtanong, sa halip, naramdaman ko ang paghigpit ng kanyang yakap. "Whatever it is, it'll be alright," she told me. "So don't worry too much."
Doon ko muling napagtanto na hindi ko gustong mawala ang lahat ng ito sa'kin. Ang mga taong nakapaligid sa'kin, ang buhay ko sa Van Zanth. They were the things I've been praying for all my life. Hindi ko gustong mawala itong lahat.
"Kapag nakabalik ka na, bisitahin natin si Zanra sa mansiyon," muling sinabi ni Anabeth. "I'm sure nami-miss niya na tayo at madami siyang kwento."
I nodded before pulling back. Muling napatitig sa aking mukha si Anabeth. Pilit kong iniwas ang namumula kong mga mata sa kanyang tingin.
"The alpha won't be happy seeing you like this," she reminded me then she folded her arms over her chest. "O siya ba ang dahilan ng nararamdaman mo ngayon?"
Umiling ako. It's the opposite, Anabeth. He's the reason why I badly wanted my past to stop haunting me. He's the reason why I wanted to fix myself.
Anabeth watched the expression on my face before her arms embraced my shoulders once again, knowing I needed it so bad. But in that moment, it felt like it would be the last time I would feel Anabeth's embrace.
--
Pagdating ng gabi, nabalitaan ko na nakabalik na si Zackary sa bayan. Narinig ko ito mula sa mga orders na naka-assign sa apothecary. I didn't wait for him to visit me like he usually do after his long trips. Because I've heard that he scheduled a meeting with the orders right after arriving.
Kaya nabigla ako matapos ang hapunan nang sabihin sa'kin ni Senior Violeta na naghihintay ang alpha sa labas ng main building. I immediately grabbed my coat from my room and headed downstairs to where he was waiting for me.
He was standing by the doorway of the main building, toned arms folded over his chest, face serious and eyes patient. Sandali akong natigilan habang nakatitig sa kanya. I raised my hand over my beating heart. Nandoon lamang siya, nakatayo, naghihintay. But he felt so familiar, so warm... like home.
What should I do? I'm scared Zackary.
Bigla siyang sumulyap sa aking direksyon. Nagtama ang aming paningin. Pilit akong ngumiti bago tuluyang lumapit sa kanya. "I thought you're having a meeting with the orders tonight," I managed to say.
"I want to see you first."
I stared up at his face. Sa ilang araw na pagbisita niya sa Fabrice, tila kinalimutan niyang asikasuin ang kanyang sarili. His eyes looked exhausted, there's light dusting of stubble on his jaw. It seemed like both of us were going through something but chose to save each other from the ache.
Inabot ko ang kanyang palad, pinisil at marahan na hinila. I brought him to the nearby patches of flowered plants Anabeth and I planted months ago. Even under the night sky, the flowerbeds were blooming radiantly.
According to Alexander, the reason Zackary had to initiate discussions with the council was because they were putting pressure to the nearby towns to pull back projects in connection with Van Zanth. It was their way not to tolerate the actions of Zackary against the institution's members and their initial step to propose a chance of leadership in town.
While walking, Zackary's long rough fingers intertwined with mine. "I heard from Alexander that you're leaving again for your hometown tomorrow," he said. "It seems like lately, we barely have time to be with each other."
Napalingon ako dahil sa kanyang sinabi.
"I'll be back on the same day. We're just gonna check on something," I assured him. Inabot ko ang kanyang mukha at hinaplos ang kanyang pisngi. "Would you miss me?"
Inabot niya ang palad kong nakahawak sa kanyang pisngi. His warm thumb caressed my knuckles. "I always do whenever we're apart," he whispered. "I only need to secure a few important projects before the council ruin them. Once I'm done dealing with these things, we'll be able to spend our days together."
"It's okay. Take as much time you need. I won't go anywhere."
Napansin ko ang dalawang order na naghihintay kay Zackary sa 'di kalayuan. Huminga ako nang malalim bago ko binitiwan ang pagkakayapos sa kanyang mukha.
"I know I don't have to worry with Alexander with you," he said, gently pulling me to his chest. Like a cozy blanket, the warmth of his body surrounded me. "Come back to me as soon as you can," he whispered to my ear.
Ngumiti ako. Pareho ito ng mga lagi niyang sinasabi tuwing kailangan kong umalis. At ang mga salitang ito ang nagpapaalala sa'kin na may lugar akong babalikan.
"I'll be back soon," I mumbled against his chest. "Wait for me, okay?"
Before I pulled myself away from him, I lifted my feet on tip-toe until my lips reached his. I smiled, kissing the alpha under the cloudy night sky not knowing it would be the last time.
***