Valentin
"Since when is she gone?" Cesare asks.
My heart is pounding. Way too fast.
My eyes are burning and I feel like throwing up.
She grabbed my collar, she kissed me, I pushed her away, I held her hand, I buried myself in her, I yelled at her, I hurt her. Everything that happened last night is replaying in my mind. Over and over again. Every word I said comes back to me like a boomerang and hits me right in the throat, cutting my airways off. I'm chocking on my own words. My head is heavy and I want to scream. No matter how hard I'm balling my fists, digging my nails in my palms, I won't get it. How could I be so disgusting? My knuckles turn white. I want to crush something but I don't know what because nothing will change what happened.
My heart is heavy.
"I don't know." I tell him.
My mouth is dry and it's 5 in the morning. I called Cesare and Dante but Dante was on his way to his grandson. He's forced to come back now and it will probably take a few more hours until he gets here.
The silence in the house is murdering me. The rain outside is loud and the crackle of the fireplace is already annoying me.
I can't breathe.
"What happened between you...?" he's hesitating. Scared to ask because he knows there's something wrong but he's ready to help.
I rub my eyes with my palms, hoping I can shove the tears back.
What happened between us?
I broke her heart. I hurt her. Threw all the things I was keeping to myself to not hurt her right into her face. I did it on purpose. Using my firm voice like a knife to cut off some pieces of her. I feel like throwing up. All the things I did... I can't tell him about them.
"We argued, she went to her room and disappeared." The shaking in my voice is embarrassing but I can't hide it. "She didn't disappear. You know that." He says, seriously. It's been a while since the last time I heard him like this. Serious and concentrated. Bothered and worried. He is right. She didn't kill my security on the way out. Whoever got her out here did it so silently that nobody heard it. I want to hit my head against the wall because I don't understand how any of this happened. Whoever is responsible knows this place well enough to get her out. To get in and find her without bumping into me. Hah. It was impossible for them to bump into me because I was sitting in my office like an idiot, trying to avoid running into Anastasia.
"I'm so fucking stupid...." I mumble. I can't control what I'm saying because I feel numb. My body feels heavy but so lightweight like a feather at the same time. I feel like I'm dead. "What?" Cesare sounds confused. "It's my fault." i blink hard to keep the tears at bay. It's been over a year since I cried the last time because I didn't have a reason to cry after my sisters death. I got stronger and stopped crying because I lost everything I had. Everything that mattered to me. My whole family. I had nothing to lose. Nothing was worth to cry over.Nothing ever hit me hard enough after that. Until I lost Anastasia.
"V..." I can hear the sadness in Cesare's voice. He feels awful but that's nothing compared to what I feel right now.
"I didn't care for her." I let my head fall back. It's too heavy to carry. I can't breathe. "I hurt her." My lungs are hurting. "I left her alone." It hurts. "It's my fault." I breathe out like I've been in the desert for too long, aching for some water with sand in my lungs.
"It wasn't your fault. Someone took her away." He tries to assure me but I can't take it anymore. I can't hear it. I can't stand it. I don't want to be comforted. "Because I wasn't careful enough!" I lean in and slam my hand down on the flat glass table so hard that it breaks under my palm and cuts into my skin but I can't even feel the pain. I don't mind it because I deserve to suffer more. She is right with everything she said. I'm a fucking monster who likes to lock her up without caring for her needs. I don't care about her mother or her father. They deserve it and everything that's coming for them but she doesn't. I was so stubborn and focused on my goal because falling in love wasn't planned and now I lost her. I was so focused on myself and what I wanted that I forgot to ask her about what she wanted. Needed.
"I sat in my fucking office, like a fucking idiot while someone walked in here like they own this place and took her away." I scream, not able to control my shaking hands as I grab the carafe on the table and throw it against the wall. "I did it all on purpose!" I take the rest of the glass table and throw it across the room. I promised myself I wouldn't tell her about the call with her father because I knew it would rip her heart out but I decided to spit it out last night to keep her small. "V!" Cesare stands up, wanting to come towards me but I shove everything off the table with one move, wishing I could destroy everything to feel at least a bit better. "What am I? I'm nothing like a leader. I don't get shit done! I can't even take care of a girl."
Of my girl.
My throat is sore and I want to rip my own head off. I'm at a loss of words for the pain Anastasia's absence gives me.
I will burn this whole shit down if I have to. That's what I feel like doing right now but Anastasia needs something to come back to.
"That's not true. Only because you're a don it doesn't mean that you can't live your own life inside your own house." He says and I know his words are true but they don't matter right now. They won't change a thing. They won't change the fact that I didn't hear shit while they killed my men and got Anastasia out of here. They won't bring her back. "We will find her, V. I promise you. She'll be home by this evening."
I lean against the window and catch my breath.
I'm in love with you.
I shake my head, my chest aching with the loss of air. I want the memory gone.
I'm in love with you.
Tears roll down my cheeks.
I told her that I don't love her.
I looked her in the eyes and told her that I don't love her. It was the biggest lie told in history.
I love Anastasia with my whole heart. With everything that's left of it.
The moment she told me she loves me, my brain lost its connection to my heart. Too many thoughts that weren't on my side went through my head. I remembered who she is and that I can't take that step with her. That this isn't how it should be and I went too far. I didn't know how this would end but I knew it would end someday and after that there would be nothing. There's no doubt I feel the same for her as she does for me but I thought it was bad that she was feeling like that towards me in first place. I thought it was better when she's not attached to me because I wouldn't get to hurt her like that. I didn't want to give her promises I can't keep. I didn't want to give her expectations.
I knew it was wrong.
That's why I needed to stop it.
Cesare
He starts breathing heavily. Then fast. Way too fast. I frown. His hand is bloody, dripping on the floor and leaving stains. Pieces of glass lay everywhere on the ground.
He starts hyperventilating.
"V..." I approach him and expect him to yell at me or throw something at me but he doesn't. His upper body leans in. He can barely hold himself up and starts breathing faster and faster. I panic when he puts his hand on his chest, trying to hold it between his fingers, breathing like there's not enough air around us. He looks like he's heaving a heart attack and it terrifies me. He almost falls forward. "V!" I run over the shards and lay one hand on his back and the other on his chest to hold him up.
"I didn't tell her that I love her." He sounds breathless. Way too breathless. Cool sweat runs down my neck as my heart hammers against my chest. I've been through a lot of shit with V and nothing ever scared me but this is scaring me shit out of me. I've never seen him like this. Not even when his sister died. Since when is he so breakable and anxious? It's scaring me. I don't want to lose him and I don't want to lose Anastasia.
His hand is gripping his chest like his lungs are on fire but I know his heart is hurting.
I've never seen him in love and I've never seen him helpless. The Valentin I know would call his men, find out what happened in a second and hunt the motherfucker down that did this. He would burn down the whole city to find what belongs to him but he is breaking. He is falling apart right now and it's making me panic. Where is his aggression? Where is his fire? Where is the tall man that handled things without even moving his pinky finger? We need him back to figure this all out. We can't handle this on our own but I know he would never let me see him like this if he could control it. He would rather die than admit that he is in pain so this must hurt him really hard.
"I didn't tell her that I love her." He repeats, still breathless. He's heaving a panic attack. i don't know what's going on in his head but I know that it's killing him piece by piece. So I throw his arm over my shoulder and carry him to the sofa. I couldn't even properly ask him about the details because he could barely answer. He can't work. He can't think, speak or act. It will take him a while until he gets himself back together and his fire back. He needs it. He needs to be furious to do something, otherwise he will fall into a deep hole and our chances to find her will get lower and lower. It's hard to see him like this. Laying on the sofa, crying his eyes our, screaming into the pillows and clenching his fists, throwing them onto the backrest of the sofa over and over again.
Shit. Sometimes I forget that he's a human too, although that's exactly what I just told him.
He can suffer too and Anastasia grew to him more than I thought.
I pull out my phone and dial the number that I know by heart now.
He picks up immediately.
"Dante, you need to hurry the fuck up."
Anastasia
I wake up, experiencing the worst neck pain possible and it takes me several tries to sit up straight. My body feels like a piece of hard wood. My eyelids are heavy and I feel like I was asleep for the last few days. I want to groan as I try to square my shoulder on the bed I'm sitting on and realize that I can't because my mouth is duct taped. I rip my eyes open, although they burn and see my lap. My thighs are pressed together because my ankles are tied up. Just like my hands behind my back.
What the fuck?
My heartbeat picks up the pace as I try to move around but realize that it's impossible. The ropes around my ankles and wrists are so tight that it hurts. I feel nauseous. What happened to me? Valentin would never do this to me. Although he told me he doesn't love me, he wouldn't suddenly decide to treat me like a hostage. He wouldn't do this to me.
I take deep breaths through my nose since I can't open my mouth and squirm around, trying to get out of the ropes. Wet hair falls in my face. I'm sweating and it's already morning. At least that's what it feels like because this room doesn't have any windows. For how long was I sleeping? Apparently long enough to not notice what happened to me. My hair and clothes are sticking to my skin and I want to scream. I turn my head a few times, trying to warm my neck and when it hurts less I look up to look around and see where I am. My heart stops when I see that I'm not alone.
The man that Valentin shot in his shoulder in the club is sitting across from me with a mug of something hot in his hand and a cigarette in the other.
"Good morning, love."
As soon as his voice reaches my ears, panic fills me and I realize that I'm nowhere near Valentin.
I start to scream but the only things I can get out from under this tape are muffled sounds. I try to kick myself free and get my hands out of the rope but the more I try the more it hurts.
No.
He wants revenge. He kidnapped me and he wants revenge. He wants to hurt us. A light layer of cold sweat covers my back while I realize in what awful situation I am right now. He kidnapped me, brutally ripped me out of Valentin's hands after the most horrible night we had and now he will end what Valentin started. I squirm harder, trying to free myself and groan at the pain the rough ropes cause on my skin. Shit. I would spit on him if I could. What does he want from me and why does he look at me like that?
I give up for a second and lean back to catch my breath and get over the shock to finally let it sink. I look at him. Right into his eyes. And I see it. He won't be as nice to me as Valentin was.
He puts the mug on the little table next to him and puts out his cigarette in the ashtray. The room we're inside is small, dark and minimalistic with only a few pieces of furniture. The walls are dark and the ground is dirty. It's cold in here but that's not why I'm shaking. The bed I'm on is squeaking and hard. There's only the bed I'm laying on, the chair he's sitting in, the little table and another side table that's a bit bigger. Where the hell am I? What kind of place is this and why doesn't it have any windows? My lungs tighten and I feel dizzy. I try to take deep and steady breaths through my nose but my pulse is racing. The adrenaline in my blood makes me want to scream. I want to stand up and run, although I don't know where and how. Thinking of what could be waiting for me is scary. Valentin said he watched us in the club. He definitely didn't kidnap me because of what Valentin did or because he finds me pretty and wants to make me his. He has bigger plans. He let us believe that we were safe but we should've known we weren't. Did Valentin know? As if he would've told me, if he did...
"Stop fighting. It will get you tired." He says, calmly and with a soft smile on his lips. He's unbothered, probably happy that he came this far but I will not give him the pleasure to think I will give him whatever he wants. He must be insane to think I will give him anything. He can think whatever he wants but his calmness is annoying me. He's just sitting there, staring at me and enjoying the view. I swallow and he leans back. My eyebrows nosedive and I ball my fists behind my back. Fight or flight.
"Are you asking yourself why you're here?" He asks, as if it's not obvious. He wants an answer. He wants to hear it. See that I'm desperate and begging for answers. Whatever it is, it won't surprise me and he should know that. "No, love. It's not revenge for the bullet." He shakes his head and gets up. I hold my breath because he's standing tall and I'm small. I'm not insane enough to believe I'll have anything on him. He's a big man and I'm tied up. I'm defenseless and helpless. He could do whatever he wants to me and I wouldn't be able to defend myself. I hate this. I hate being like this. Constantly being thrown around between men who think they own everything makes me sick. They treat me like they want, not even bothering to think of how I feel during it.
"You're also not here because I wanted to take away what means everything to him. Only someone weak and helpless would do something like that." He explains as he takes some steps towards me. My heart is hammering against my chest and I squirm, moving and pushing myself further away but there's no way out. I bump into the headboard and panic because I know I can't run when he gets closer. It was okay while he was sitting there but now it's terrifying me. He is terrifying me.
"My issue with Valentin is way bigger." He adds and I see the muscles of his jaw flex. I swallow hard again and try to free myself one more time. "I won't make a big secret of it because other than him, I have no time to waste." Another step towards me and the walls are getting closer. I scream again, giving more muffled sounds from me. "Valentin is weak. And he took something away from me that meant the world to me. It sounds like revenge but I want him to suffer and pay for everything he did and does to girls like you." He says, stopping at the edge of the bed. My breathing picks up the pace. The closer he gets, the tighter my lungs get.
What is he talking about? Who did Valentin hurt? Other girls like me?
My brain is swimming again and I'm not even drunk.
I don't want Valentin to be someone I never thought he would be. I don't want him to be anything outside of my imagination. So I can't even think further about his allegations.
"We both know that you're aware of how awful he's treating you." His raspy voice gives me shivers. I frown hard. "You liar!" I want to scream and I do but he can't understand what I'm saying through the tape. It doesn't matter. He wouldn't care anyway. He has a goal in mind and my words will change nothing. I have no power or control right now but that will change. I'm not as easy as he thinks. Only because he's a big man who can tie me up, it doesn't mean he can do whatever he wants and include me in his stupid plans. I'm not a part of shit. Guys like him and Valentin should finally get that. They're not as big as they think when they need little girls like me for help with whatever they want to do.
He laughs softly. Softly enough to light up my nerves. "You have his back because you're sick." he suddenly spits out and my jaw would drop if my mouth wouldn't be duct taped. I am what? "You think you like him because you've been locked up with him for so long. You don't actually like him." his firm voice doesn't help me with calming down. The blood is rushing to my ears and my head is heavy. I can't talk back because he doesn't let me. Otherwise I would burn him with the hellfire that's burning inside me. He doesn't know what he is talking about and it's making me furious. How dare he think he has the right to talk about something he doesn't know shit about. Whatever is going on between Valentin and I, no third person has the right to speak about it.
"That's why you will help me turn him into dust. Because you know you deserve better. You know that he is no good for you. I got you out of there and I'll send you home. This might seem stupid to you but I will not send you back there." His words make me lose my shit. I fight again, trying to get the fucking ropes off me and attack him with the worst words I know. I scream into the duct tape but he only shakes his head. Does he think it's his fucking job to get me out of a situation I feel well enough in? What does he mean with he won't send me back? Is he insane? I will smack the hell out of him as soon as I'm free. He's talking bullshit. Right? He will send me back instead of bringing me back to my father who I never want to see again. He doesn't know what he's saying. He's delusional. Does he think he is a hero who can save someone who doesn't want to be saved?
How did he even get me here? I can't remember it.
I can't remember anything that happened after Valentin told me that he doesn't love me.
He doesn't love me.
I stop moving and breathe hard. My heart is heavy. There's not enough air for my tight lungs.
"See. I knew you'd realize it. Stop being so blind and open your eyes. I want to help you." He thinks I stilled because I thought about his words and realized he's right but that's not true. I stilled because I remembered.
I remembered that Valentin doesn't love me.
My heart sinks. Deep in the ocean inside me that swallows everything left from me.
I let my head fall back.
I'm not in love with you.
A tear rolls down my cheek.
I'm not in love with you.
I let my head fall back. My eyes spot the dirty ceiling and the light that's lighting up this room and I feel him rip the tape off my mouth. He knows I won't scream. He knows I got it. I understand.
Valentin
One, two, three, four, five hours passed.
I punched, I cried, I slept and woke up and realized none of this is a nightmare. It's all real and Anastasia is still not here. But Dante is. And so am I.
I'm leaning against the dining table with arms crossed over my chest while Dante is talking and Cesare is listening. My hair is wet and messy with sweat but I don't care about how I look right now. All that matters is that I got myself back together. Enough to work. Enough to stand tall and stay strong. I'm glad Cesare didn't mention how miserable I was doing a few hours ago. If he would, I would rip his head off anyway so he has no other choice.
I have to laugh. My head falls in as I shake it. They stop talking and look at me. "What?" Dante asks. I can't control it. It's hilarious to me. "I kidnapped her... and she got kidnapped again." My nerves are playing games. I laugh when I want to cry. "She got kidnapped while being kidnapped, I can't believe it." I wipe away my tears which built from laughing and take a deep breath, calming down. They look at me like I am crazy. I do feel like I'm not sane. And thinking about that makes my stomach dip. She is making me go insane. My laughter dies completely and turns into something that hurts.
"How do we know that Spencer didn't get her back because you threatened him and have his wife? He knows she means a lot to you." Dante says. I shake my head. Something inside me is boiling. It's filling my lungs and my veins. I'm about to burst. "He would let me know by now. Spencer isn't mysterious. He's just an asshole. He wouldn't start a war silently. As well as I know him he would make sure that I heard it." I answer and take a deep breath. "Any other enemies you got some recent issues with? Someone who can't wait to hurt you?" Cesare asks. I throw a death stare at him. He pressures his lips to a thin line, realizing how stupid that question was. Plenty of people can't wait to hurt me. Plenty of enemies who want to murder me and hurt my heart.
I massage the bridge of my nose. This all is getting on my nerves and making me impatient.
I'm hungry and I want to go hunting.
"Whoever it is will let you know. Even if it's just to drive you insane. They will let you know." Cesare says. My eyebrows nosedive and I want to break something again. The girls will clean it up again like they already did it earlier. The venom in my blood makes me sick. I can't breathe.
I want her back.
"Do I look like I will just wait here until they send me a letter or a message or a picture of her chopped off head?" I raise from my spot and grab the car keys off the table. Even the thought of the fact that I could receive something like that any second makes bile rise in my throat. "The more I just stand here, the less my chance to find her gets." I need to move. I need more people. I need the guys. They will storm every mansion, every warehouse, every office of each of those who have an eye on me. One by one. If they have her, I will murder them, if not, I will still murder them. "What are you doing?" Dante asks, following me as I almost run towards the front door. "If they wanted me to know then they would've left a message. This is not about revenge. They want to keep her. I'm going to find her."
Anastasia
I lick my dry lips as he walks in. He left a while ago and is now back with a tray of some awful food. There's no way I'm going to eat that. Not in this disgusting room after everything that happened. There's no appetite left in me to even look at that food. He acts like he's feeding a dog and it's disgusting. He earns every hate that I didn't have for Valentin. It's interesting how I realize once again how good Valentin actually treated me because this is how actual kidnapping looks like. It's not about giving your victim a nice and warm place to sleep, whatever food it likes and freedom without any torture. Dirty, cold rooms with cheap food and not even daylight are the truth.
He sits back in the chair he sat in earlier and looks at me. I don't know what he's expecting but I know what I want.
"What's your name?" I ask him with a raspy voice. My throat is sore and I'm dehydrated. I want the water he brought with him but I will not ask him for it. I will suffer and starve if I have to but I will not ask him to feed me. Nothing coming from his hand could be good for me.
"Alexander. Alex."
Alex.
I look down on him. His neck is wide and his broad shoulders look hard. Just like his defined arms. He loos like he could crush my skull in his big hands without any effort. My eyes go further down to his wide thighs and I notice how my body temperature goes up. I'm temped to look between his legs because he's men spreading but I clench my fists and keep my eyes where they are.
"Keep your eyes on mine." He suddenly says and I blush when I realize that he noticed what I was doing. It's embarrassing but he can't blame me. I'm the one who's tied up in front of him and all I can do is look at him while he can do whatever he wants to me.
So I look up into his eyes and see how they are piercing me. "You're so fucking beautiful when you blush." he says and I turn my head away, although I can't escape him. "I'd like to not what else about you is pink." His words make my stomach dip. I look at him wide eyed and can't ignore the throbbing between my legs. I hate myself for it but I can't control it.
I clear my throat. No. I don't want this to go in that direction. I want to go home. This is horrible. I take a deep breath through my nose, hoping he won't mention anything about how nervous I am.
"Tell me about Valentin." I need to change the subject. He laughs and it scares me. Being in this position all the time is making me furious. "Now you want to know?" He asks and I take another deep breath. "No one ever tells me anything and I'm tired of it. I want to know what's going on." I feel like I can't breathe and these ropes are way too tight. The skin at my ankles is already bleeding and dripping down to my feet.
"I will help you." He tells me and I try to get my hands out of the ropes for the hundredth time. "How do you even know me?" I ask, groaning at the pain. All he does is watch me. Why doesn't he get me out? It's not like I can walk past him. He's like a wall. "I have issues with your father." He answers me and I halt because I have to laugh. It's a genuine laugh. "Of course. My father. Why else would it be?" I shake my head. It's unbelievable that it's always my own father who gets me into these damn situations where I'm on my own and have to suffer for his mistakes. I pay for his mistakes every single day and don't even know why. What has he done that's so horrible? Since when do people kidnap each other for business. Isn't that lame? "He's an asshole, huh?" I bite my lower lip. "The biggest you can imagine." He answers me.
"Why am I paying for him?" I blow the hair that fell into my face away. "You're not paying. I'm keeping you safe from Valentin and bringing you home." He leans in and leans his elbows on his knees. "Why on earth am I tied up then? You want to protect me and bring me home but tie me up like a victim? That doesn't make sense. And if you have issues with my father and know how horrible he is, why would you want to bring me back to him?" None of what he's saying makes sense to me. Nothing makes sense to me anymore and I stopped thinking.
He gets up and approaches me. This time I don't back off. Not even when he pulls out scissors from his back pocket. My eyes widen. I know he won't hurt me with them. He will free me. Some of the weight falls off my chest when he cuts the bloody ropes on my ankles and then those around my wrists when I lean forward. I inhale, finally able to breathe. "I just needed to make sure you don't run because you're not going anywhere unless I say it's safe. Valentin can't find you. We need to make sure he stays off." I massage my wrists and ankles, feeling how they hurt and how the ripped skin is burning. I need medical help or these injuries will leave ugly marks.
I can finally move without any burden and it feels so good.
"That's why you lock me in this scary room."
"I don't trust you. I don't know how deep you fell for Valentin and how far you would go for him. What he has taught you."
I frown. What he has taught me? What could he teach me and why?
"He didn't teach you anything? No self defense, no weapon handling?" He seems to be confused and a little shocked but I shake my head because I don't understand why he would do that. "What the hell did you do there then all this time?" for some reason he sounds pissed. "Nothing." I answer, shrugging with a bad gut feeling. Why does this make me feel bad? He takes a deep, hard breath through his nose. "Seems like you don't mean that much to him after all. Can't be too scared of losing you I see." He breaks my heart with simple words that wake worry and pain in me. But he must be right. Why else wouldn't he tell me how to defend myself? Knowing that he has enemies who can just walk in and try to hurt us?
I shake my head. That's bullshit. He didn't need to teach me shit because he was protecting me well enough until this motherfucker came along. I was safe in his mansion.
"What is your problem? What did Valentin do that you're so scared of leaving me alone with him?" I ask, sitting up straight and massaging my back with my own hands. He leaves the scissors on the side table and sits back in the chair. "He can't protect you. As you can see." He's so confident that it annoys me. "Protect me of what? People like you?" I ask, scrunching my nose in disgust. No matter if he thinks he's helping me, I will show him that I don't like this. "Your father." His answer makes me want to break that small table next to him on his head. "But you also want to send me back home." He must be stupid to think I'm safer with my father than I am with Valentin. Seems like he missed a few episodes of our reality show. "Because it's your home and that's where you are safest. Weren't you before he involved you in all of this? Did you ever have to face anything like this before?" He asks and I know he's right but I am inside of it now and even if he pulls me out, I will fall back in. It's not like once I'm home Valentin will forget about me and won't come for me. I will never get out of this because I'm a part of it.
"Your home is where you belong and even though Spencer is a son of a bitch, he won't hurt you." I don't even get mad about him calling my father like that in front of me. I know two men who want to kill him and I believe they have a reason. I believe I would want to do it too if I knew their reasons since I already feel like hurting him for treating me like this. Never knew it could be this easy.
"You missed a point, Alex. My father doesn't care enough about me to hurt me. So you don't have to worry about that." The lump in my throat is the size of a tennis ball but I manage to swallow it, although I rather scream and throw a tantrum like a child. He frowns in confusion but I don't bother explain him anything.
Instead I clear my throat and continue.
"Now... What is your problem with Valentin? What did he do?" I ask again and hope to finally get an answer because I need to know. "Somebody needs to speak to me or I'll lose it. I mean it. I'm tired of it." I can't take this silence anymore. All these secrets make me sick. They act like something so outrageous happened that I can't take it.
"Valentin lost the girl I love." He leans his elbows on his knees again and massages the palm of his left hand with his right thumb. I frown. "Who?" This all is about a girl? My stomach dips again and I feel uncomfortable. They couldn't share a girl? Or was Valentin supposed to take care of her?
"His sister."
My ears start ringing and my jaw meets the floor. I tip my head back, surprised and confused at the same time.
Valentin has a sister?
"He has a sister?" I speak too fast. He shakes his head and the wrinkles on his forehead make me worry. "He had a sister." He answers and I feel like I'm sinking into the mattress.
This is about family. It hurts.
"Lidia was all I ever wanted. She gave me the motivation to count the stars. The most energetic, friendly and funny girl to exist. Valentin never found out about our relationship. That's why he didn't recognize me in the club." He explains and with every word he says, I realize that I know nothing. Nothing about what's going on between these men and their lives. Nothing about how the world works and how dark it is. I don't know shit. I thought knowing more would make me feel better but it does the opposite.
"Lidia loved me like every man wants to be loved..." the corners of my mouth fall and my heart is beating so hard that it hurts. He seems to be an asshole but it's obvious that he's not a bad person. He's a lover. With a broken heart. I don't know what intentions he really has and how this will help him and I still don't like what he's doing to me but I feel bad for him because I can sense that his story is going to take really ugly turns and I can feel that the issue is closer to me than I think.
"Until...?" I'm scared to ask but I do.
"Until she stopped loving me." His eyes shine with tears that build. I don't know how much time passed but I can see that he is still not over it. He looks so sad that it's even breaking my heart, although I know I shouldn't feel for this man. He doesn't deserve it. Or maybe he does. I don't know but I can't control the pity I feel for him. This conversation is going way too calm, humane and normal to hate him right now.
"What happened?" My voice gets quiet. "She fell in love with another man." The pain in his voice is hard and fresh like it must've been on the first day. Now my heart is actually hurting for him. I can't imagine how I would feel if Valentin would fall for another woman. Another woman... He would have to love me first to do that.
I look away and blink the tears away when I remember that everything was one-sided. Every time I remember his words, I feel like I'm falling off a cliff.
"I'm sorry about that." I'm really sorry and it would piss me the hell off if this all is about Valentin's sisters betrayal because that's not worth all the drama and what I'm going through but I feel bad for him. It must've done a lot of damage to him. Otherwise he wouldn't put so much effort in all of this.
"Who did she fall in love with?" I ask, trying to hide the trembling in my voice.
"Your father." He says without a singe second thought or hesitation.
I close my eyes like he hit me with a steel rod as lightnings flash behind them and thunders crash in my brain. I get dizzy. My body is heavy but I feel like I'm floating. Bile rises in my throat but I don't have the energy to let it out. My blood flows down to my feet and I can't keep myself up anymore. So I let go. I let the waves of the cold ocean wash over me as I fall.
"Anastasia!" I hear someone shout as something wet drips out of my nose and I lose my grip and drift away.