"If I did not fear difficulty for my ummah, then I would have commanded them to use the siwaak before every prayer."
(Bukhari and Muslim)
Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu
✨ Bismillah✨
If you haven't offered your salah and it's salah time then please pray and then return, do not delay your prayers.
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ADAM
I walk into the door and see Maira's toes peeping out from behind it, a warm feeling settles in me despite the unpleasant news which I have to say.
She jumps in front of me after a moment, attempting to scare me.
"God, you frightened me zawjati. Never do that again" I say in the most possible scared voice.
She sighs and her shoulders slump "You do not have to act as though you're actually scared" she says and plops down on the couch.
"It was a really good attempt though" I say, smiling softly.
"Mama and baba have gone to visit aunt Khadija" she says, seeing me scan the house.
"They were adamant at not leaving me alone at first but then I convinced them that I would be fine" she continues scrolling through her phone.
"You could've called me early then" I say drapping my arm around her shoulders and pulling her close.
"Adam, I know that you are busy these days and I am fine, really" she huffs.
The door bell goes off and I look down at Maira in confusion "Are we expecting someone?"
She thinks for a moment and then nods in realisation "Oh yeah, the delivery person," she smiles sheepishly.
"You are having the same flavoured pizza from three days in a row now" I say walking back in the living room.
"I guess I'm in love with that flavour" she exclaims, grabbing the box from me.
"And you can have your chinese food, I know that you are not fond of this pizza" she says gesturing to the pizza in her hand.
"And I love you for this sweetheart" I say opening the boxes of food.
(◍•ᴗ•◍)
"Come on Adam, don't be a spoil sport" she says, trying to pull me off the couch.
"I don't even know how to dance" I reason out.
She rolls her eyes and tugs at my hand harder "You just have to sway, just move along with me"
I groan dramatically, dropping my head back on the sofa.
"Darling, wouldn't you do that for your pregnant wife?" She says in a soft voice.
I groan once more and then let her pull me up "You sure know how to convince a person"
"Now don't be a grumpy little thing and sway with me" she says interlocking her right hand with my left one and putting her head on my chest.
I snake my right hand around her waist and move along with her. "Isn't it all so peaceful?" She asks tilting her head up at me.
"It is" I agree, pecking her forehead.
She closes her eyes and places her forehead back on my chest.
"Tell me what's bothering you Adam" she says in a whisper and I smile at her understanding self.
I rub my hand over her back and think of all the things running inside my head.
"I'm a bit nervous for the upbringing of the little children which are to come" I say finally voicing my thoughts.
She looks at me with what I think as an admiration smile "What? You're the one who asked me what was it that was bothering me"
"This worrisome look looks cute on you" she says with a smirk and I narrow my eyes at her.
"But seriously, you don't have to worry about anything at all, habibi. You are going to be the best father our children could ever have" she says with so much determination that it melts my heart at her faith in me.
"Have I told you that I absolutely love it when you nickname me?" I say smiling down at her.
"You have told me that a hundred times"
"Then let it be a hundred and one now"
"I totally love it when you call me with a nickname" I whisper in her ear and she chuckles.
"You're crazy" she says laughing softly.
"I'm tired of dancing now" she complaints after a moment.
I chuckle at her "Sweetheart we didn't even dance, we were just moving in one place"
"Yeah well, I'm tired of moving" she says exaggeratedly and sits down on the couch.
I sit beside her, debating to tell her the unpleasant news which has been nagging in my head from the moment I returned back from work.
"I have something to tell you" I say hesitantly.
"I'm all ears"
"Okay look at me" I say turning her face towards me.
"This is very serious" I say slowly.
"Okay" she trails.
"I would have to leave the country for some four days" I say finally.
Maira deflates visibly but doesn't say anything for a while.
"You go and do whatever it is that you have to do, I'll be fine here and there is more than a month left until the due date" she says calmly, taking my hand in hers.
"I'm sorry but I don't really have another option"
"Adam it's fine, really and there are mama, baba and my parents too here, you don't have to worry about a thing" she reassures.
There is no other option than to visit the firm outside our country to introduce the project to the people there, because I was the one who was working on it for months.
I had already checked all the other possibilities but none of them seem to be in my favour.
It's just for 4 days but I'm still not too sure to leave her here and go even though there are others here like she said.
"Okay now you look at me" Maira says drawing me out of my thoughts.
"Four days will pass by and you won't even realise, you'll be back here sooner than you think, so don't dwell on your thoughts much alright?"
I nod and exhale audibly "Shouldn't I be the one telling you all this?"
She looks at me and laughs loudly "It looks like you need to hear it more than me" she says with the remnants of the laughter in her voice.
(◍•ᴗ•◍)
It's not even a whole day that I've landed here in Belgium that I'm starting to miss and worry about Maira.
Though she had bid me off with that courageous smile of her's and everything, I know that her stance faltered once I was leaving and I cannot help but recall her bewitching eyes which were teary for the slightest moment.
All I hope is for these few days to pass by soon and for me to be back home.
(◍•ᴗ•◍)
I stand in front of the door, panting like I've run a mile, which is partially true. I had hurried out of the car like it had been on fire and now that I'm actually standing a few feet away from her, my heart hesitates.
I had to prepone the flight for a few hours because Maira was in the hospital, an emergency, which means the early birth of our children.
I hold onto the doorknob to open it just when Aisha comes out of the room.
"She has been waiting for you" she says gesturing to Maira who is on an hospital bed behind her.
I acknowledge her with a nod, as she moves aside.
"Salaam, sweetheart"
"Adam, Walaikum assalaam" Maira exclaims, her face lightening up.
I walk towards her and kiss her forehead, she's paler now, nervous and even a little bit exhausted.
"Guess we are having an early baby" she says grinning widely.
"Babies" I correct, sitting by her side.
"Right" she says looking at me with her beady eyes.
"You don't look happy" she notices.
"Cause I was worried about you, my love"
"But you are here now and I'm feeling even more anxious,"
"Everything will go perfectly, you don't have to worry yourself more than you already are," I try comforting her, when there is chaos inside my head.
"InshaAllah"
"InshaAllah"
Her face softens as she gazes up at me again "I can't wait to hold our children with you, love"
"Neither can I, baby"
"I love you for the sake of my Lord, Adam" she says with so much fondness that I feel the contentment leaking through my heart.
"And I love you for the sake of Allah, zawjati" I say pecking her lips.
(◍•ᴗ•◍)
And that was it.
That was the last thing she told me.
I had lowered the most important part of my heart when I lowered her in the grave.
The tremble of my heart and body hasn't stopped from when the burial happened and I'm still here sitting by her grave.
How easily had the doctor said that an early and emergency delivery of twins led her death but the doctor didn't realise that my heart was being broken, crushed and squeezed all at once with every word he spoke.
I have the two little angels waiting for me in the hospital but I can't get myself to hold them when Maira had wished for to hold them with me just a few hours back.
I couldn't stop her words from running inside my head when I had cleaned her hair and her nails during the ghusl.
Her lips were softer than when I had touched them with mine. A layer of sweat had been there on her forehead, and her skin the lightest shade of pink. I rub the tears off my eyes and let out a shaky breath. I wonder if I would ever be as enthralled by someone else as I was with her, her little smiles, her animated talks, and every damn thing about her.
God, how am I supposed to live in the house whose every corner reminds me of her, how am I supposed to forgo the features of my wife when I look at the little children Allah has created through us? How am I alone going to upbring those children when it was always supposed to be us?
(◍•ᴗ•◍)
Aairah Abdullah and Mu'adh Abdullah.
These were one of those few names which we had liked, we hadn't known the genders of the twins but where I wanted a pair of girls, Maira had always wished for the little versions of me.
Guess we both got our wishes fulfilled, these two newborns laying here in their cots remind me of Maira more than I already do, Mu'adh has totally gotten after her and Aairah has my hair and eyes. I can already see these two growing up to be brilliant and beautiful kids InshaAllah.
The kids Maira had also wished to see and upbring. All I hope now is that I succeed in their upbringing. Now that my wife is not here to have my back, I'm afraid of falling and not being able to stand up again. I'm afraid that I might go wrong with a few things and she won't be there to roll her eyes at me and then correct me. I'm afraid that she won't be there with me.
She won't be there at all.
THE END
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Alhamdulillah!!
Finally it's completed, after a whole long year and I'm grateful to everyone of who have been in this journey with me. Without you guys, this story really is a mere bundle of words and I thank everyone of you for it.
And lastly but most importantly, do not hate me for the ending, this story was supposed to have this ending from even before I started writing it.
Please put all your thoughts and reviews on this story through the comments, I would be more than happy to read.
And also there is a short little epilogue after this chapter, don't forget to read that and show your love.
Thank you all again for the love and support.
JazakAllahu Khairan Kaseera🤍
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Assalamualaikum until next time InshaAllah
~~ Safiya❣️