The excavation of the caved-in hallway took days. Doc Lee's team moved slowly and with the utmost care to prevent accidentally damaging anything that could be hidden in the rubble.
In the meantime, the rest of his team concentrated on the rooms that were accessible.
The chamber with the Jotunn remains stayed a mystery to Loki's frustration. He was so desperate to learn more of his people and of his history, and now he was so close to finally learning more the waiting chafed.
He did become more and more convinced that their deaths had been neither natural nor accidental. The thought that several warriors in their prime would all die at the same time was too much of a coincidence for Loki to accept, and I agreed with him.
I hung around first of all, but there was little for me to do. Loki got along well enough with Doc Lee so I wasn't needed to keep the peace either, despite Loki's frustration. Instead of hanging around feeling useless, I went home, after making Loki promise to call me if there was any progress.
"Darling, perhaps it would be wise if you made your way back to the hold," Loki sounded hesitant.
"Everything okay, love?" I asked.
"We've uncovered a new room, and the excavation team has reassured us it's safe to enter. I would like for you to be here." His words were matter-of-fact but there was a slight tremor in his voice.
"I'm on my way."
Loki was waiting for me outside the hold, leaning against the doorframe.
"What did you find?"
"I don't know yet. We're just about to go in. I told them to wait until you were here." He motioned with his head towards the hallway, and we walked in together.
To anyone else Loki would have seemed calm and collected, carrying himself with his usual arrogance and confidence. But I knew him better than that. The set of his shoulders, and the slight tensing in his jaw all told me a very different story.
I slipped my hand into his. The corner of his mouth twitched into a lopsided smile as he gave my hand a gentle squeeze. As we walked towards the excavated part of the hallway his grip on my hand became tighter and tighter until my fingers turned white.
I held his hand almost as tightly. I was bracing myself too. Loki's life had been filled with pain, tragedy and disappointment. Why would the story of what happened here be any different?
Doctor Lee was waiting outside of the room.
"This part of the hallway is stable and secure, but we don't know what the condition of the room itself will be like. We are almost certain the collapse of the hallway wasn't natural, which means most of the rooms could still be intact. I thought you'd like to be there when we open it the first time."
Loki nodded silently.
The head of the excavation team slowly opened the door, shining light inside. He went in and came back out after a while.
I lost all feeling in my fingers, but I kept holding Loki's hand anyway.
"The room is secure."
Loki walked in without saying another word, and I had no choice but to follow. A member of Doc's team set up a light so we could investigate the room.
The room we were in was smaller than the ones we'd seen before and seemed to be a study or an office. Shelves, now empty, lined the walls, and a large desk made of elaborately carved stone took up half the wall facing the door, an elaborately carved chair in front of it.
"The royal seal," Loki pointed at the carving on the wall above the desk.
I had noticed it too, but it wasn't the first thing that had caught my attention. It was the skeletal remains that were laying on and around the desk that I was looking at.
Loki had let go of my hand and walked into the office, running a finger over the empty shelves, barely leaving a trail in the fine layer of dust.
"Not enough dust to indicate deteriorated books, I would say," Loki looked at Doc Lee who nodded in conformation. "The shelves must have been empty before the room was sealed off by the collapse."
His voice was deep and steady, but I could see his hands shake. He was still avoiding to even look at the remains.
Doc Lee eyed me curiously, he had noticed the same. With a quiet motion, he ordered the rest of the team back into the hallway.
"Loki, love..." I began. His eyes met mine. They were filled with pain and sorrow, begging me silently for help.
I took a step toward him.
"If I may," Doc Lee spoke softly, "perhaps if I were to take a closer look I might be able to determine whose remains these are."
"There's no need," Loki whispered hoarsely. "I already know."
"Allow me to make certain," Doc Lee was respectful and sympathetic. He looked at me, and I nodded.
"Don't touch the dagger," Loki said suddenly. I hadn't even noticed the dagger that was laying amongst the remains. The blade had a strange sheen to it as if covered with an oily substance.
"It is coated in a potent poison, it might still be deadly even after all these centuries."
Doc Lee nodded in understanding.
"No, wait!" Loki's voice sounded loud and unnatural as he changed his mind before Lee could start his examination. "Please allow me."
I suddenly realised I had been holding my breath. I wasn't sure what we had found, but it seemed Loki knew, and I could see how distressed he was. I could only think of one reason he would be this shaken.
Loki thought we had found his father.
We had found Fárbauti.
Loki gently moved the bones, touching them with a tenderness that made my heart ache.
"Here, his ring." his voice cracked as he held a wedding band in his hand.
I looked at Doc Lee who gave me a quiet nod.
"I'll leave you two alone for a moment." He left and closed the door behind him.
"Are you sure?" I asked as wrapped my arms around Loki just as his knees gave way. Loki just nodded and buried his head against my chest.
For a long time, I held him, tenderly running my fingers through his hair until there were no tears left to cry.
We both sat with our backs against one of the empty bookcases. I handed Loki a tissue from the packet I always carried around with me in my coat.
"I know it is childish," he said softly, "but until now a small part of me had still hoped he was alive somewhere. That I would find him one day. That I had a father who would love me, who would want me."
I had my arm wrapped around his waist, and he had his arm around my shoulders, his cheek resting on the top of my head. I could feel Loki begin to cry again and silently handed him another tissue. He accepted gratefully.
"Knowing my luck, he probably would have been just as disappointed as Odin was to have a snivelling weakling as his son," Loki said with a wry attempt at humour that failed to hide his feelings.
"I don't think so," I disagreed.
"Why? You can not possibly know that," Loki argued contrarily.
"First of all, because you are no snivelling weakling, you are the strongest person I know. You are super smart, a survivor, a powerful sorcerer, an amazing fighter and a brilliant strategist and politician. He would have been proud of you, you are just like him."
Loki shrugged and shook his head. No matter what he projected to others outwardly, I knew that deep down on the inside he never saw himself that way.
I wasn't done yet, however.
"But second of all, he wanted you. He really wanted you.
He was so happy that you were on the way that he had the necklace made, he couldn't wait to meet you!
In a matriarchal society, where you could never have inherited the throne, he didn't care that you weren't a girl!
He wanted you.
His son."
"You truly believe that?"
"I don't just believe that, I know that for sure.
Your father loved you.
And no matter what Odin did after that, he can never take that away from you. Your father, your real father, Fárbauti, wanted you, Loki, and he loved you. He died loving you, he loved you even before you were born."
It took a long time before Loki was able to compose himself. Doc Lee seemed to understand, leaving us undisturbed and letting us have all the time we needed to mourn the father Loki had never met.
"I don't think we need to let the Doc's team in here," I finally said. "This isn't a historical find, this is family."
"I agree," Loki said gratefully.
"I can talk to the Doc if you want me to?"
"That's sweet of you, but I will do so myself."
We sat together for a while, not quite ready to face the world yet.
"I will bring my father to Jotunnheim, and inter his remains with mother's in the catacombs, as she requested. Hopefully, it will give her spirit rest."
"His spirit isn't here, is it?" I asked softly. I knew the answer, I had been around enough hauntings to recognise the signs and the weird feeling I always got when a spirit was nearby.
"No, he must have moved on. Not all spirits linger."
Loki stood up and carefully picked up the dagger by its handle.
"Admittedly, it wouldn't have surprised me if he had. His death was swift, but not accidental."
"Any idea who the dagger belonged to?" I asked.
"It has the royal seal on it as well, but I have no idea whether that is significant.
More important is that he was sitting with his back to the door and never left it or even turned his chair. If he was half the cunning warrior he was rumoured to be, it would have been hard to sneak up on him.
It is obvious to me that it is not only likely that he knew his murderer but that he trust them enough to keep his back turned towards them. Combine that with the fact that the security system was active, and the likely conclusion is that my father was murdered by one of his own.
If he was killed by poison, perhaps the others were poisoned as well.
That explains why he and his warriors weren't there to defend Jotunnheim from Odin's attack.
The questions that remain are who murdered them, and why?"
I had no answers for Loki. All I could do was hope that excavating the rest of the hold would tell us more.
Doc Lee understood the need for privacy well enough, and the room was declared off-limits to the team.
I offered to go with Loki, but he insisted on laying his father and mother to rest by himself.
"I appreciate the offer, but I would like to do this alone. These were my parents, and I am their son. We were never allowed the opportunity to be together as a family, not even for a single moment. I think it would be appropriate for it to be just the three of us, for what would be both the first and also the last time."
I waited up for Loki that night, feeling more and more anxious as time went on. I should have gone with him. I could have waited outside if he really wanted me to. I shouldn't have let him take care of this alone.
It got later and later, and still, Loki did not return home. He didn't answer my texts either. Of course, he'd have no phone reception in Jotunnheim.
I snuggled up in his favourite chair and tried to read, but my mind kept wandering as I repeated the same paragraph over and over again.
Finally, the door opened, and Loki came in quietly so as not to disturb our sleeping family.
"Hello love," I said softly.
Loki's face was pale and his eyes red-rimmed but he greeted me with a smile.
"I saw the light but I assumed you'd left it on for me. I didn't expect you to wait up this late."
I held my hand out to him. He took it and sat down at my feet, his head resting against my knee. I gently stroked my fingers through his hair.
"How did it go?"
"Mother is at rest now, and Father too. They left together. Wherever they are now, I believe they are at peace."
"You saw your father's spirit as well then?"
"Briefly, towards the end. We didn't speak. Perhaps he came back for Mother. I'm not certain, and I'll guess we'll never know. But I got this great sense of love, tranquillity and of belonging.
They are together now."
"It took longer than I thought it would."
"The portal is becoming harder to open, the magic in the glade is growing thin. And I lingered a while after my parents moved on, I couldn't get myself to leave quite yet."
Loki kissed my hand and looked up.
"But eventually I realised that while I had said goodbye to one family, I had another waiting for me here.
A family that loves me, that wants me.
A place where I belong."
Loki smiled at me, his eyes still sad, but filled with love.
"So I left my parents to their eternal rest, and I made my way back to you. I came back home."