Mara awoke to the sound of knocking at her door. It was still early in the morning from what she could tell from the light that came through her window. Despite having fallen asleep fast the night prior, there was still an immense ache and fatigue in her body. Her scalp hurt from being grabbed by the hair and the burn mark had been stinging. The pain had lessened a bit overnight but the soreness hadn't.
There was another knock, this one louder than the last, and the girl sighed as she forced herself out of bed. She was prepared for Jimin to appear to tell her she was crazy for diving into the cave headfirst and alone. She hoped it was Jungkook that came to wake her up.
What she didn't expect—or rather who—was Taehyung standing at the door, blinking stoically back at her. In one hand was a small box, and in the other a brown bottle with the dreaded label 'hydrogen peroxide'.
He raised a brow at her before letting himself in, closing the door behind them and setting everything up on the bed. He took out medication, patches, alcohol and other necessities as Mara simply watched from where she stood.
"Yoongi told me about the burn mark," he muttered, lathering his hands in alcohol.
Mara turned red,
"Okay?"
Taehyung sighed, "Let me clean it. I cleaned his. I assume you didn't clean it yesterday so I'm here before you get an infection."
Mara was in shock. One of the coldest members of the group was there to help...her? There had to be a catch, or at least something in it for him. At least that's what she believed his help had to stem from. It wasn't in his nature to be kind to her, not when all he wanted was for her to leave.
"I won't tell anyone," he muttered last.
Mara stood baffled, eventually nodding and slowly going over to the bed. She sat awkwardly at the edge, watching as Taehyung approached with a focused expression, eyes scanning her face. His fingers gently pressed down on Mara's swollen eye. She winced in slight discomfort and he moved to other areas of her face, inspecting the depth of every cut.
"They got you pretty good," He commented. Images of Lilith's split and bloody eye resurfaced.
"She ended up worse," Mara mumbled. She cleared her throat, realizing how hoarse her voice sounded. She hadn't really spoken much since the day before, coming home to give everyone the silent treatment. She had been screaming up until then, and it didn't do her throat any good.
Taehyung's eyebrows raised, "Than this?" He motioned to her face, and the girl scowled, leaning back with slight offense.
"This isn't too bad," Mara argued, "At least I still have both of my eyes."
Taehyung blinked, eyes flashing with surprise. It didn't last long before he focused back on his task, retrieving the alcohol and wiping it over her cuts and scratches. Mara hissed at the sting, but took it well. She was already dreading having to do the same for the burn. It would hurt like hell, but if she wanted it to eventually fade and scar properly, she had to toughen up.
"That's gonna take a while to heal. Don't be surprised if tomorrow it looks worse," Taehyung warned, pointing at her eye. Mara's heart dropped.
Worse?
Taehyung placed ointment and Vaseline on the wounds all over her face, a new shine on her face making her appear extremely oily. Mara grimaced at the feeling, but she refrained from touching her face. He pointed to the hem of her shirt, "Is it okay if I lift your shirt?"
Flashes of the day prior crossed Mara's mind, but the girl gave herself reassuring thoughts. She appreciated him asking for consent, and gave it with only slight hesitation. She nodded,
"Yeah....Yes."
Taehyung did so, lifting her shirt up to reveal the patch, which had been placed on crookedly. There was a red tint spreading in Mara's cheeks. Though she wasn't uncomfortable with having Taehyung look at her bare back, it was the thought of him passing judgement at the events leading up to the incident. She was humiliated to have been exposed in front of many mentally ill perverts, and it was degrading to have been marked as one of them as well. The girl felt like less of a human. Like cattle and nothing more than property.
Taehyung slowly peeled the patch off, eliciting a hiss from Mara. A sigh could be heard from Taehyung.
"If you had just come to me, I could've cleaned this for you. You put ointment on it so you're not completely brainless," Taehyung scolded, muttering obscenities to himself.
"You're not exactly the most approachable guy out here," Mara grumbled. It's true.
Taehyung glared at the back of Mara's head blankly before speaking again. In the smallest, inconspicuous way, his pause humored her.
"Just stay still so I can clean it. It will most definitely hurt, so bite down on something," he advised, already beginning to soak cotton pads with hydrogen peroxide. Mara couldn't find anything to bite down in time, so instead she took hold of a pillow against her face in anticipation of the pain.
"Mph!" Mara yelped into the pillow, trying to breathe in and out deeply in an attempt to calm her erratic heartbeat. Taehyung had offered no warning before applying the pads. The pain was immense andtemporarily debilitating.
"I told you it would hurt. Stay still," Taehyung scolded.
"Mmph...sorry," Mara gasped, sighing in relief when Taehyung stopped.
"All done."
Mara sighed in relief.
"Gotta clean that twice every day, so just come back tonight," Taehyung instructed, beginning to put everything away as Mara lowered her shirt.
"How's Jin?" Mara tentatively asked, eyeing Taehyung and looking away when he made eye contact. Taehyung hovered with a frown, eyes narrowing at Mara before relaxing. He then headed for the door, muttering before walking out, "Go ask him yourself."
"I'm so happy you're back!"
Jin cupped Mara's chin with his free arm and gently wiggled her head, his glossy eyes crinkling as he warmly smiled. He looked heartbroken, and Mara could see it despite his bright welcome.
Mara raised her hand to attempt to hide her eye, "A little beat up, but glad to see you too. Actually, really glad," Mara admitted, getting teary-eyed herself. She could confidently say she missed the comfort of Jin's affection and protective nature. After spending so much time with him, she grew to love his brotherly essence that felt like a constant embrace. He was one of the people he missed most—apart from Jimin and Jungkook.
Speaking of Jimin, I want to talk to him too.
Though his bold statement hit like a slap to the face, the girl was aware that Jimin cared about her. She could give him the cold shoulder all she wanted but her heart yearned for his friendship and that reassuring grin of his.
"Give me a hug," Jin extended his arm out, welcoming Mara in for an embrace. The girl did not shy away in the slightest, an innate part of her expressing her adoration for him in the form of a chaste kiss on his cheek. The girl wrapped her arms around his waist ever so gently, discretely grateful when Jin narrowly avoided touching her injured shoulder. She relaxed her stiff arms from the close call and melted into the embrace. Jin held her tightly, his own lips trembling.
Mara relished in the tender moment, perhaps a bit too long, but without a complaint from Jin.
"You are such a brave young lady," Jin softly spoke, closing his eyes momentarily. Mara smiled at this.
"I'm glad you're okay," Mara whispered, "And I'm sorry you got hurt."
"There's nothing to be sorry for. You always blame yourself for everything. Stop it," he softly scolded, a gentle frown on his face. It dissipated when Mara pulled away, and he offered a lingering squeeze of her hand in his. He didn't stare at her eye or even make a comment about it, which really helped Mara feel at ease with her appearance. She was aware she didn't look too hot, but she didn't want to be constantly reminded.
"You too, Yoongi," Jin addressed, causing Mara to lean away and turn to the door, where a timid Yoongi stood. His eyes shifted to other places except their eyes, cheeks slightly turning red when hearing Jin's request. Jin extended his hand to him, closing and opening his hand.
"Yah, why do you want a hug?" Yoongi almost incoherently whined. Mara watched the interaction with amusement, wondering why Yoongi seemed to avoid physical touch.
"Please?" Jin smiled, his arm hanging in the air as he waited for Yoongi to approach. Mara took a step back from the bed to make room for Yoongi, and the latter sighed, blush deepening as he leaned into Jin for a short hug. Yoongi lightly patted Jin's shoulders, nodding as he pulled away.
"How are you feeling?" Yoongi asked once he stepped back. He scratched at the back of his ear awkwardly, attempting to play off the blush on his cheeks.
"Better. Happier," Jin warmly smiled.
Yoongi shyly turned to Mara, "You?"
"Okay. Trying to stay positive," she nodded.
"Mm. It's odd to be so nonchalant after something like that," Yoongi commented, a far away look in his eyes as he seemed to remember the events of the day prior. Mara could related to that distant gaze, as she often found herself absorbed in unpleasant and rather unfortunate memories. It was hard to ground oneself after traumatic events, and even after a long while has passed, one still found themselves stuck in the feeling of that moment.
"Definitely a lot to process," Mara muttered, trying to keep the smile up but pursing her lips when they twitched downwards.
"I was worried sick about you two after Taehyung told me what happened," Jin mentioned, "He had to give me some medication to help the pain go away and to get me to sleep."
"Is your shoulder feeling better? Will it heal up fast?" Mara asked, peering over the sling but lightly shrugging when unable to see it.
"Taehyung put my arm in a sling to help it heal faster. Moving too much could prevent my wound from closing up," Jin sighed, "It hurt like a bitch when he took it out. Wanted to throw up so badly."
Mara grimaced, then pouted at the discomfort in Jin's face, "I bet," she sympathized.
"I'll recover just fine," a smile creeped up on Jin's face, "But I'm starting to kind of like it here. I don't have to do anything and I get to sleep most of the day," Jin sheepishly covered his body with the blanket, sighing as he sat back and closed his eyes. Mara chuckled, adjusting the blanket so that it covered him better.
"You do just that," Mara encouraged, "You deserve a bit of a break, even if the circumstance is a bit unfortunate," she chuckled. Yoongi eyed the two quietly, listening passively to their banter.
Jin narrowed his eyes at her playfully, "You sound like such a grown up."
"Do I?"
"Yes."
"Hm. I guess I do."
Jin turned somber, "I'm just relieved that you guys are here. Alive and in one piece," he looked to the two standing beside him with saddened eyes. Mara held his hand and gave it a squeeze. She was unsure how someone could care about her so fast and unconditionally, but what she did know is that Jin had a genuinely sweet and gentle heart.
"You really think I would leave you all like that?" Yoongi asked, playfully offended, "Hey, I would never," He smiled ever so slightly. He stepped closer, placing his hand over Mara's and Jin's. He deeply sighed, that troubled look still in his eyes despite his smile.
"I'm gonna ask Namjoon for some gun training," Jin softly spoke, expression in thought, "I think I need it. And Mara, maybe he could train you as well." Both males turned to look at Mara, her face falling at his words. The thought of asking Namjoon for a gun sounded ridiculous, and she could already hear his scornful words and see his mocking smirk. However, the pleading look on Jin's face made her cave, and she nodded with a pursed smile.
"For now, take it easy," Yoongi muttered, retracting his hand, "I think Taehyung is going to take over your duties until you're back."
And he did. Mara exited the lodge, greeted by the sight of Taehyung inside the greenhouse. Though slightly blurry, she could see him moving about the tent, tending to the plants and most likely watering them. She nonchalantly glanced at him as she strolled by, destination the horse stables. The safety of the four walls she was behind had not spared her from the stress and trauma of the events the day prior. There was a lingering paranoia, a creeping dread and a whirlwind of irrational thoughts. She was exhausted, in constant turmoil over why things had to transpire the way they did. She blamed herself, and they both came out with their lives but there was a pent up tension of how things could've gone horribly wrong.
Mara reached the stables, surprised, but not so much, to see Jungkook. He was smiling as he pet Frozen Yogurt, speaking fondly to it. Mara approached slowly as to not disturb them, able to stand behind him without him noticing. Well, at least that's what she thought.
"He was really hungry," he began, "Finished his tray and had to get him more food."
Mara, surprised at his awareness, stepped forward to pet the horse as well. It seemed calm, a contrast of how it had been when lost in the forest, surrounded by freaks.
"He must be so relieved," Mara nodded.
"I thought I would never see this horse again, but when I saw you on it on the way back I thought of how glad I was to have lost him in the first place," Jungkook sighed, stroking the horse's hair affectionately. He was fond of animals and considerate, and Mara saw that the sweet boy that Jimin talked about was not gone like he believed; he was right there, in front of Mara.
"Why?" Mara asked.
"He was there to help bring you and Yoongi back to safety faster," Jungkook explained, glancing at Mara.
Mara scratched behind Frozen Yogurt's ear, "You should've seen him. He was pushing through freaks and stomping and kicking them all over the place," Mara incredulously chuckled, "He was probably glad to see you again."
"I'm happy to see you too, Yogurt," Jungkook laughed, his nose adorably scrunching up as he scratched the horse's head.
"Fro-Yo is brave, just like his pops," Mara softly muttered, "Knew not to go too far."
Jungkook turned to her, a snort leaving his lips, "Fro-Yo," he echoed. Mara looked away, "Yeah. You gave him his name and I call him by his nickname."
Both laughed, a silence ensuing between the two. It wasn't that Mara didn't know what to say, she just enjoyed Jungkook's presence even if there was not a word uttered.
"Hey."
Mara looked up, turning away to hide her eye again. She hummed.
"I know you and Jimin have been fighting. But just make up and be friends again," Jungkook whined, "I don't like picking sides."
Mara patted Jungkook's back. She smiled to herself, thinking that perhaps she was completely disregarding Jimin's feelings of concern. Of course she loved him, of course she cared about him, there was no question. It was simply the way he vocalized his thoughts that came out a bit too...aggressive in her opinion.
"I'll talk to him.....soon," Mara playfully nudged Jungkook, and he reciprocated with narrowed eyes.
"You better," he muttered before, changing the subject, "So how did you sleep?"
Mara didn't speak for a moment. She didn't know what to say. It was a simple question with a simple answer. The girl knew that the answer was not the one he wanted to hear; like Jimin, he too, worried.
"Good," she replied calmly, and the words felt like sandpaper against her tongue. It was a lie at the very least, but she just wanted everything to go back to the way it was before things went south. She didn't want to be asked questions about if she was okay or not. Not because it annoyed her, but because she felt quite bad for lying to them.
No, she was not okay, but when was anyone ever really okay?
Jungkook's lingering stare did not make the lie any more easier to affirm, but she tried not to shy away from his piercing gaze. It could get anything out of her, and Mara was a tad bit worried about how much she had developed trust for Jungkook.
"I was surprised to be woken up by Taehyung," Mara added, attempting to distract from the slight twitch in her eye that began to pull at her eyelids, "He came to clean up my wounds."
Jungkook was surprised enough to completely let it go, "Huh? Why would he do that?"
Mara nodded slowly with a, "That's what I was thinking."
Dumbfounded, Jungkook slowly turned away, "He may be a dick sometimes...most of them time, but he's good at doing his job," Jungkook looked pleased. She wasn't surprised to hear that Taehyung was taking care of his brothers. They were his priority after himself in the end. She wondered when he would warm up to her, but with the vibes she was getting from him, she figured not any time soon.
"I guess that's why Namjoon trusts him a bunch," Jungkook had zoned out, speaking through mutters. Mara looked up at him, noticing the far away look in his eyes.
"I'm sure he trusts you too, right?" She tentatively asked.
Jungkook smiled to himself; it was a minute, almost unnoticeable ghost of a smile.
"He might. I never know. He used to treat me like his little brother. We used to be closer. I guess he just had to put survival before us," Jungkook softly spoke. Mara could hear the lament in his voice. His words, paired with the saddened gaze was tragic to her.
"I think he does trust you. I think he knows to play to your strengths when necessary," Mara shrugged, attempting to reassure him. Jungkook snorted, narrowing his eyes at Mara with a widening smile.
"Why do you do that?"
Mara blinked, "Do what?"
Jungkook raised a brow, "You always ask about me...about myself and my past. What's with that?"
Mara blushed, shrugging, "I like getting to know my friends. Is there something wrong with that?" She timidly asked, hoping he would say no. He simply chuckled and shook his head, "Nah. I don't mind."
"Oh..." Mara felt awkward, "But anyways...he put all this Vaseline on my face," Mara crinkled her nose, "It feels nasty."
"I was wondering why you were shining so fucking bright," Jungkook giggled, "Thought I was looking at the sun when you reflected all that light at my face."
Mara rolled her eyes, "Yeah yeah. Get all those jokes out now or forever hold your peace," Mara groaned.
"Can I actually?" He tested, giving her a look.
Mara feigned offense, "No!"
"Some of us can take it easy for today," Namjoon cleared his throat, looking awkward as he spoke to everyone. He avoided eye contact with Mara, but he would occasionally glance at Yoongi.
She received a light elbow from Jungkook, and both glanced at each other humorously.
After everyone split to work, Mara was left to stand around doing...nothing. Now, don't get her wrong, she needed to rest those sore muscles for a bit so that she could get back to work as soon as possible. However, it didn't quite feel right. Being under everyone's constant surveillance had gotten her used to doing something every second of the day. The girl visited Jin again, at his service for whatever he needed, but his sleeping form seemed to be at peace, so she left him alone. Mara visited the chickens, the horses, and even peeked in with Taehyung at the greenhouse in case he needed help with anything. She figured gardening out of everything would be the lightest work.
"Do you need help-"
"Out."
"Kay," Mara nodded, poking her head back out of the entrance and dejectedly walking away. She hung her head like an abandoned puppy and sat back with the chickens. She couldn't talk to Jimin either, he was far too busy outside with Namjoon digging graves for the freaks they had dispatched the day prior. Mara didn't want to step foot outside for the next couple of days, so she opted to talk to him later.
However, later turned into two days...then three. Jimin seemed to be too busy all the time, and even when he took a break, Taehyung seemed to swoop in and steal his attention. It was something she had noticed as well. Taehyung seemed to be a very jealous friend, but she didn't blame him.
The days were growing boring. She'd been given small tasks here and there, heavier tasks towards the end of the week, but even then Jungkook had run out of ideas. Mara had to find something to distract herself if she wanted the days to go by faster. Despite having been told to rest as much as she could, Mara quietly retrieved Jungkook's jacket and some of her clothes from her room. She held his jacket up to the sun and peered at the dried blood on it with guilt. Even to the touch, the material had hardened. She couldn't possibly give it back with her blood on it, and even worse with the prominent symbol. Mara groaned, grabbing supplies and going to the water reservoir, taking some water and a bit of homemade soap. She snuck passed everyone, only receiving an odd stare from Taehyung. With a bucket of water in one hand and the jacket tucked under her arm, she inconspicuously hid behind the tree once more, trying to discretely set everything up.
Mara got to work on the stain, hoping that every scrub and rinse of the material would fade the stain. However, as she continued to harshly wash the jacket, she came to realize that the stain was not going away. The sun was already beginning to set and she was still trying, to no avail. Mara huffed, holding the wet jacket up only to see the prominent dark spot only one shade lighter. The girl's arms went limp, the jacket falling onto her lap as she closed her eyes with a crestfallen sigh. Mara slouched over, holding her head up by her hands with exhaustion. Trying to remove blood from clothes was almost impossible, and she was embarrassed at even trying. Without much success, the girl gave up, gathering everything again and heading back to the lodge. Everyone seemed to be finishing up, and she could see the glowing embers from the fire pit as she approached. She curiously peeked, turning back just in time to see Jungkook exit the back door.
"Hey I was just going to call you over so you can eat," Jungkook threw a thumb over her shoulder, noticing the things in her hands. He looked at her oddly.
"Just...washing some clothes," Mara mumbled, hiding the sopping wet jacket from view.
"Sounds productive. Come on," Jungkook gestured for her to follow him as he headed back inside, leaving the girl to hang up her clothes quickly. She placed the jacket somewhere easily overlooked and reminded herself to collect it back in the morning.
After putting everything away, Mara entered the dining area. She was overwhelmed to see everyone sitting around the table, either fetching themselves a plate of soup or already eating at the table. She'd never sat at the table, always preferring to eat in her room. Though Namjoon didn't make an effort to tell her off, it felt odd to be around everyone at the same time. She felt out of place.
"When someone else makes food, it tastes different," Jin commented, humming with delight at the food. Taehyung glanced over his shoulder at Jin, smiling to himself as he poured another bowl, handing it to Jimin. Jimin raised his eyebrows comically at Taehyung, to which he rolled his eyes.
"The sounds you're making let's me know that by different, you mean good," Taehyung muttered. Mara could hear the humor in his voice despite him always talking in that monotone voice of his.
Mara was greeted warmly by Jin, asked to sit next to him by his eager gesture. Mara glanced at the person at the other side of that empty chair, and Jimin awkwardly glanced back at her. A bowl presented itself before her, held up by Jungkook, who also carried his own plate. She took it with gratitude, slowly but surely walking towards the chair. She adjusted herself in her seat, pulling closer to the table and beginning to eat. She had zoned out, but a light tapping broke her out of her spell.
The tapping had come from Jungkook, and he eyed her, then eyed Jimin. He repeated this twice before raising his brows inquisitively.
Mara peeped at Jimin. The lad was having a small conversation with Taehyung, who had sat at the end of the table. Both were unaware of Jungkook and Mara's nonverbal discussion. Mara shook her head, pursing her lips. Jungkook rolled his eyes, taking another big spoonful. He gave her a shake of his head and a look. Mara wagged her finger, mouthing "He was busy."
Jungkook leaned back incredulously, chewing his food quickly and swallowing to point at himself and mouth, "I was too."
Mara shook her head and tried not to smile while Jungkook gave her another look.
"Talk to him," he mouthed.
Mara tilted her head, tapping her ear and shrugging with feigned confusion. Jungkook narrowed his eyes at her, sighing and proceeding to eat. Mara quietly chuckled, turning her head to find Hoseok staring oddly at the two of them. His lip was slightly curled as she smiled politely at him, to which he looked back down.
"You guys are weird," he muttered under his breath.
Mara contently ate her food, aware that she had someone to talk to but enjoying everyone's company, regardless if friendly or not. They would have to eventually acclimate to her presence, and Mara looked forward to the day she could talk to everyone like a friend. She wanted everyone to be her friend...even Hoseok, as much as he hated her, would someday talk to her like a sister.
Mara stole a glance at Yoongi, who had been slightly smiling as he drank water. Star struck, she watched as Yoongi and Namjoon Jin had carefree conversation, often smiling and chuckling amongst each other. She couldn't hear what they were talking about, but if it made even Yoongi smile it must've been something funny. As long as I'm not too loud everyone wont be so concerned about me eating here.
"Have you gone to Yoongi yet?"
The first aid kid clicked open, and soon after, Taehyung began spraying the lidocaine to clean her wounds. He'd asked her to lather her cuts with Vaseline on her own, making the burn on her back his main priority.
"Not yet. After you, I will," he muttered.
It grew dead silent in the room. Only the slight shuffle and sound of Taehyung rubbing the wound delicately with alcohol could be heard. Though the wound was still fresh after a couple of days. To her relief, it hadn't gotten infected or more inflamed than it already was. The skin was sensitive to the touch, and though it stung at a strength of her arm, the pain was bearable. She didn't expect Taehyung to be so consistent with cleaning the brand mark, but she knows she wouldn't have been able to clean it without him. He was one of two who knew about it besides Yoongi, and she wanted to keep it that way.
Finally being alone with Taehyung only made the girl want to ask him questions. He would make his answers honest and blunt around her, and though his answers weren't what she wanted to hear or...polite, she would rather not sugarcoat the truth—or at least his truth. Taehyung was not the sweetest person to her, and his clear distaste for her was something she willingly turned a cheek to.
But the girl was curious.
"Can I ask you something?" Mara broke the silence, her voice slightly wavering with uneasiness.
Taehyung sighed, "No, but I have a feeling you're going to ask me anyway."
Taking the comment with no real seriousness, Mara indeed proceeded to ask,
"Did Jimin consciously leave me behind?"
There was a brief silence in which Mara's thoughts raced before Taehyung's answer. It had been stuck in her head for a very long time, and the girl felt like she deserved an answer. Jimin had completely skipped over that when finally explaining how he managed to come out unscathed from the incident that had separated them. It bothered her to no end, and now that she was with the cruelly honest person, she could finally ask the question. She knew he knew what she meant.
Taehyung hummed, as if expecting it, "No."
Mara doesn't know why, but his answer confused her. Without her prying, he also wouldn't have elaborated.
"No?"
"No," Taehyung repeated, the snap of the first aid kit closing signaling for her to lower her shirt. She turned to Taehyung with a quizzical look, trying to make sense of it all. If she was completely honest herself, it did seem quite weird that during their confrontation, Jimin looked like he didn't know what she was talking about at all.
"When you told him, it was the first time he was hearing of it. M'sure you gave him an earful," Taehyung rolled his eyes, returning back to his usual blank stare. Mara's heart plummeted to her feet. She was nothing short of dismayed.
Mara's face fell, "Why would you...So it was you who left me up there on purpose?"
Taehyung nonchalantly raised his shoulder in a minute shrug, "Yeah."
Mara was hurt, "Why?"
"I didn't think it was that big of a deal. With time he'd get over you. If he tried to save you and you ended up dead, he would carry that guilt forever," Taehyung explained as if it were obvious, "I was looking out for him."
"I care about him too, you know-"
"Not when you constantly guilt trip and shame him for choices he didn't make or for giving a fuck about you. If you cared about Jimin, him leaving you on that bus wouldn't have bothered you at all. Yet here we are," Taehyung brusquely interrupted, growing irate. The girl blinked multiple times, attempting to process his words.
She felt absolutely horrible for blaming Jimin of that, but when Taehyung threw in her face the fact that they left her, it made it appear deliberate from both parties. Not only had she felt betrayed, but the lack of acknowledgment of the incident only fueled her strong feelings of betrayal.
She would undoubtedly apologize for pointing fingers without asking his perspective, but she would absolutely not be sorry for her emotions.
"Why would you make it seem like Jimin had a say in that?" Mara incredulously asked.
Taehyung scoffed, "I know he would've thought the same if he'd seen you then. It was just a matter of being realistic."
"Well I turned out just fine then and this has come back to bite you in the ass, hasn't it?" Mara frowned.
"I wouldn't say that for me, no," Taehyung smirked, "I'm not the one that got branded and has to deal with the symbol of a cult permanently on my back. Or having to prove to everyone that I'm not worthless by constantly putting myself in danger just to earn my place. You tell me who has it the hardest," Taehyung mocked, clicking his tongue when Mara had nothing to say, "Thought so."
Mara glared at Taehyung, but this only further amused him. He chuckled, shaking his head before brushing passed Mara, exiting and leaving the girl to contemplate in a deafening silence.
There it is. You wanted it, and now you have it.
Mara massaged her neck, already feeling her body ache.
I feel like a jerk now.
It didn't take long for Mara to convince herself to go to Jimin's room. A talk was long overdue, and so was an apology from her. The girl walked to Taehyung and Jimin's shared room, stopping at the door to recollect her thoughts before she stepped in. She was glad Jimin wasn't doing night watch, which had been assigned to Namjoon and Jungkook for that night. Both had already gone to their posts, calling it a day and cueing everyone to their respective rooms.
Mara felt the creeping anxiety of having to look Jimin in the eye. Confrontation wasn't so bad, she would say what needed to be said any day, but she was afraid that Jimin wouldn't accept her apology. She was afraid that all of this fighting had finally tired him out, and their friendship would end right then and there. Maybe Taehyung was right.
"-you constantly guilt trip and shame him for choices he didn't make or for giving a fuck about you."
Mara peeked inside the room, which had been left open. Jimin laid in bed, upright against the backboard as he read a book. He looked engrossed in the novel, and his frown did not make it any easier to approach.
God, just do it, you coward.
There was a creak of the floorboards as soon as she stepped into his frame of view. This did not go unnoticed, and when she looked up from the floor, his eyes were already on her.
Is it hot in here or is it just me?
Mara fiddled with the hem of her shirt, her mind wiping everything she wanted to say like a dry erase board. She could only fidget in place and look around to avoid eye contact. Jimin put his book down, a small smile pulling at his lips. His eyes crinkled as he sat up, patting the space beside him and welcoming her to sit.
Still nervous, the girl made her way slowly to the bed, feeling odd just standing in what was technically Taehyung's room. It was nothing out of the ordinary, but it was definitely clean and tidy. Mara sat down, eyeing Jimin timidly as he sat there calmly.
What do I say?
What do I start with-
"I know we've been fighting all the time. Lately that's all we've been doing," Mara quietly began, letting the words come out on their own before she could overthink and say nothing, "I don't want to fight anymore."
"I came back and I realized I didn't say a word to you. For several days, actually. At first I didn't feel like speaking. I just wanted to fade away for a bit and come back when I felt better," Mara explained, "That was a horrible day for me. But I realize that you were worried and I didn't even acknowledge you. So I'm sorry for ignoring your concern, because I wouldn't be here, where I feel safe, if it weren't for you."
Jimin held Mara's hand, offering a squeeze. She found solace in Jimin's gestures. He wasn't repelling her, nor making disapproving faces or speaking harsh words. He wasn't ignoring what she had to say. She had been so worried over nothing. Having someone console her in what was one of the worst times of her life was...God I don't even have words for it.
"And I know you...you feel some type of way when I do things that put my life in danger. You've been treating me like a kid you've been forced to babysit," she made a face, "Like a patient you've gotta keep a straight jacket on so they don't hurt themselves."
"You are my friend, not a burden, but is it my fault that I worry about losing you to yourself?" Jimin softly asked. He pulled her closer, his head now leaning on her own.
"It may not be your fault but it also isn't your decision if or when I decide to go," Mara softly argued, "And if you must voice your concern, please do it in private. Don't do it in front of everyone just to make a point. It's embarrassing," Mara muttered.
"I'm sorry," Jimin whispered.
Mara nodded, "I really do accept your apology," she breathed deeply to calm her strong emotions, "I just want to make my own choices. I want to have some kind of control over my life instead of it always being up to others what happens to me," Mara smiled, "Right now I'm just glad to still have you. I'm trying. I really am."
"That's all I can ask for," Jimin whispered, "I wanted to give you some space. It must've been so traumatizing. I didn't want to overwhelm you with my questions and I didn't want to baby you either. I was a bit sad when you wouldn't talk to me, but now that you did I feel better. Oh and seeing you at the dinner table made my week. I just didn't want to draw attention to you and make you feel uncomfortable by mentioning it," He chuckled.
"I'm sorry for avoiding you," Mara squeezed him, "And yeah it was pretty weird sitting at the table with everyone. It was intimidating, but nobody really minded.
"Apology accepted. I think everyone is starting to get used to you."
Mara braced herself for what she would bring up next. It was a touchy subject for the two of them, but they had to clear the air once and for all. No lingering resentment for something that was entirely out of his control.
"Yeah...Um...Jimin? I'm really sorry for blaming you. That day we got separated," Mara sighed, which got the attention of Jimin. He leaned away confused.
"What do you mean?"
"Taehyung told me you had nothing to do with leaving me back there," Mara shook her head, scoffing, "And even though I feel this betrayal in my heart, I know now that I couldn't have asked you to put yourself at risk to save me. If I was meant to make it, I would make it. And here I am," Mara's eyes turned glossy, "And I'm sorry for pointing fingers when I had no idea what happened. I should have asked for your perspective before assuming the worst of you."
Jimin settled back into Mara, "I wouldn't be able to leave you there. How could I? You're like my little sister. Just thinking about how you've been there for others countless times and yet nobody was there for you when you needed them most...it breaks my heart," his voice trembled.
"It wasn't your fault," Mara whispered, letting go of Jimin's hand to wrap her arms around his shoulders, "He did it for you."
"I'm glad Taehyung told you. I know he has good intentions, but sometimes things don't turn out the way he hopes and he just ends up hurting people," Jimin sighed, "I love him and everything but I just wish he would tell me things sometimes."
Mara nodded, that does sound like him. Overall, she understood Taehyung's intentions to save Jimin from heartbreak and guilt after seeing how close to death she looked that day. In the end, she ended up right back at Jimin's doorstep—almost miraculously.
"I wish I'd just told you Taehyung was in that warehouse, you know?" Mara chuckled, "Maybe we could've avoided all of this."
"But then maybe you wouldn't be here."
Mara's stare was distant, "Yeah...maybe so."
"Let's just be glad we're both here, alive and well," Jimin chuckled.
Mara smiled, "Yeah"
——-
A/N:
I used to ride a bus to high school about four years ago, and I would sit and listen to music for that 10 minute drive. The hustle and bustle of a small town and the morning sunlight, the cold October air and warm clothes. It's weird but I've never known peace like that since then.
-Wethenaive