"What's your day like?" Tanner voices floats through the other end of the line as I fly out the front door, nearly tumbling down the front steps as I rush to my car. Coffee sloshing in all directions, make-up half done, and sweat already beading down my back. I'm a literal hot mess and if I wasn't in such a panic, I might have found it funny.
I'm running late. Like really late. And I couldn't have picked a worse day for it.
I started the morning with plenty of time, sipping my coffee on the balcony as I watched the tide roll in and then back out. I even had time to take Honey for a walk before hopping in the shower.
But then my sister called, and wanted to know how my date went. At first, I struggled to find the right words to describe how incredible it was, but once I started talking, every magical detail spilled out, and suddenly I was forty-five minutes behind schedule.
Not that I regret it. I'm up for any excuse to relive that night over and over again, and in fact, that's all I've been doing since he left me needy and breathless on my front porch. It's been two days and I haven't stopped thinking about Tanner for a more than a few moments at a time.
When he pushed me up against the door and kissed me, it was like something right out of a movie. Rain pouring all around us, thundering rumbling in the clouds and in my chest, a dim glow coming from the porch light.
Tanner's eyes traced my lips as if he was memorizing each gentle curve, and when he leaned in, our noses brushed against each other. It was slow at first, and then everything was happening at once. His lips crashing into mine. His fingers tangled in my hair. Our bodies pressed together like they were designed just for this very moment. He kissed me like he meant it, with a fierce, intimate determination that swept me right off of my feet. It was disorienting, overwhelming, intoxicating, and I wasn't sure if I was drunk off of his kiss or the sweet cinnamon honey still fresh on his tongue. He lingered a few extra seconds, hovering above me hungry for more. My body ached as he held me in those strong arms and it was like nothing else existed in the entire world.
Tanner is supposed to put out fires, but he's like gasoline to the one inside of me.
"Pretty busy, actually." I throw my car into reverse, and head toward the zoo. If I hadn't taken his call right after my sister and gotten sidetracked, I might have been able to get to work on time, but, after a few days of not being able to talk to him, I wanted to hear his voice.
"We're interviewing a few new vets for the cardiology program."
Which is why it's so bad that I'm running this late. It's not only Michael who will be annoyed with my tardiness, but the entire board and all kinds of zoo donors are coming.
"Wow, sounds intense." His voice is low and bit hoarse, like he didn't get much sleep. He's right in the middle of a forty-eight-hour shift and we haven't gotten to talk much.
"More like boring. I'll be stuck in admin all day instead of working with the animals." I already dread it. I hate this kind of thing, and even though I'm glad they want my opinion on the new vet, I'd much rather be with Miko and the other lions.
"Why don't you stop by the firehouse on your lunch?" He asks. "I can give you a proper tour."
"That sounds great, actually. I'll be there." I say. "How was your night?"
"Not bad. We had a few calls, nothing crazy, but the last one was a structure fire and we just got back to the station a few minutes ago." An alarm blares in the background and Tanner groans. "And there's another. I have to run, but I'll call you later, okay?"
"Sounds good." I say. "Be safe."
"See you soon, Zoe."
My heart races a bit knowing that Tanner is off to an emergency right now. I know it's part of the job, but it still makes me uneasy when I think about the danger he's in every day.
The fact that I'm already getting attached is not lost on me, and honestly, it terrifies me. The last time I got attached to someone and let them get close, it nearly destroyed me.
I want to think Tanner is different--in fact, I know he is-- but it doesn't stop the doubt from creeping in. It doesn't stop me from remembering all the nights I cried myself to sleep. From feeling the fresh betrayal every time I hear his name. From painting Tanner with the same cynical brush.
From wanting to do whatever I have to do to protect myself.
As much as I don't want to admit it, that might mean putting a little distance between myself and Tanner. He's got me under a spell, and it's like the second I look into those gorgeous green eyes, I forget.
I'm getting ahead of myself after only a couple of dates, so I squash all of those feelings back down the second I pull into the Zoo lot.
By nothing short of a miracle, I made it with five minutes to spare before the interview starts. I haven't had time to look over the files of the potential vets like I wanted, but I won't be the one asking questions so I can skim them once we're inside.
"Zoe! Hi!" Michael greets warmly, ushering me inside. "I was worried. Is everything okay?"
"Everything's fine. Just overslept." I press my lips into a tight smiling.
"Good, because I have a lot of people here who want to talk to you and I need you on top of your game. As soon as this first interview is over, you'll sit down with the donors and show them the plans you've got so far for the program."
"Plans?" Did I miss something? Was I supposed to have a report prepared?
"Yeah." Michael face twists in confusion. "You know, everything we've been talking about the last two weeks? They want an update. I was planning to go over a presentation before the interviews this morning, but you weren't here."
"Uh, okay. I can do that." I swallow a lump in my throat. Now I was going to have to wing it.
"Are you sure everything is okay? It's not like you to be so scattered."
He's right. It's not like me to neglect my job for a guy and I cringe internally as it dawns on me that that's exactly what happened today. I got lost in rehashing our date with my sister, and then made myself even later by deciding to answer his call.
"I'm good, Michael. I promise. I'll stay here over lunch and get something together so we're good to go." So much for going to see Tanner, but maybe this is for the best. Not only do I have to protect my heart, I have to protect my job.
"Thanks, Zoe. I knew I could count on you." Michael squeezes my shoulder. "Our first candidate is waiting. Let's go inside."
I type a quick text to let him know I have work through lunch, and head inside. The room is buzzing with people, and I slip into the empty seat next to Michael. I'm still getting settled so when Michael starts to talk, I don't even glance up at the candidate.
"Let's go ahead and get started." He calls the room to order, clicking his pen against the long mahogany table. "We're so glad you could join us today, Zane. I know you've already met my colleague, Zoe, from your work in South Africa together, but would you mind introducing yourself to the rest of the room?"
I look up like a deer in head lights, eyes locking with Zane across the table. All the air leaves my lungs and I'm spinning, trying to make sense of what is going on here, and then it hits me.
Zane is a vet. That's why he was with us in Africa to begin with. And now, he's interviewing for a job at my zoo.
"Sure." He shoots me a nervous smile before continuing.
I don't think I hear another word for the rest of the interview, or at least I don't register it, because as far as I am concerned, none of it matters. He could be some kind of magic lion healer for all I care--he can't work here. We can't work together. And if I explain the situation to Michael, he'll have to understand... won't he?
It takes every ounce of composure I have to make it through without saying something I'll regret, and when the interview is finally done, I bolt out the door and down the steps as fast as I possibly can. I don't make it very far before he's caught up with me, and I feel his hand on my shoulder.
"Zoe, please stop." He begs, spinning me around.
I open my mouth, but quickly shut it when I realize the zoo is open now and there are small children nearby. The words I want to say to Zane aren't exactly family friendly and I'm already on shaky ground with Michael, so I decide not to cause a scene. For now.
"You know how absurd this is, right?" My voice is sharp with anger. "You can't possibly think this would work out."
"I know how this looks, and if you had given me a chance to explain when we ran into each other the other day, I could have told you..."
"Oh no." I stop him. "Don't put this back on me. You weren't trying to tell me anything at all about this. You were just making sure I didn't tell your wife what a scumbag she's married to."
Zane winces, glancing around to see who might have heard. "Okay, okay. I'm sorry. You're right. I suck. I'm a terrible human being, but you and I both know I'm a damn good vet and I'm what your program needs. Don't you think we can put our differences aside for the sake of the animals? For Miko?"
Part of me wants to slap him. How dare he bring Miko into this? He knows exactly what he's doing playing to my emotions that way, and he knows he isn't giving me any room to hold my ground.
"Zoe, I'm sorry. I can tell you that a million times over, but me being here has nothing to do with you. Michael contacted me about the job and I want to help. You and I make a great team, and I know we can accomplish a lot with the amount of money the zoo is putting into this research."
My head feels like it's going to explode. It's like he thinks he already has the job, and as for the being a good team thing, that's open to interpretation. Yeah, he's good at his job, but he's demanding and hard to work with and could sink the entire ship at any given moment.
"If it's too much for you, I'll go."
If it's too much for me? That's almost laughable. Any person in their right mind would be upset after what happened, and I'm not being unreasonable, but he's got me trapped now. If I tell him to leave, I'll look like the bad guy. The crazy one. The one who can't handle her emotions enough to save the animals. It's disgustingly unfair, and we both know it.
But if I tell him to stay, then I have to work along side of him every single day and pretend like nothing happened. I want to believe I'm over it enough to do that, but that smug grin on his face has me questioning myself.