"So, how does it feel to be in love?"
I stared at Dee. I'd stare at her words too if they were physical. That was a heavy question.
"I don't even know how I would begin to explain it." I told her honestly. I was never quite good at explaining emotions. Putting a description to what I was feeling. I could feel it all inside of me, sparking and alive, yet when the time came to put them into words, my mind stalled.
Dee took a slow sip from her takeaway coffee cup, swallowed and then said, "That good, huh? Or you don't know how to describe it?"
I didn't even need to think about that answer. It also made me feel extremely grateful that Dee was on board with everything that had happened with Harry. Having her support was another feeling I wasn't truly able to formulate words for.
"Both," I said, pondering, "But I don't know, Dee, I feel like myself. More like myself than I ever have. Things are peaceful. Calm. He just gets me, and... and nothing else really makes sense. He makes sense. I think he's good for me." I chewed on the insides of my cheeks before taking a sip from my own takeaway cup. My own words made me cringe but they were true.
After Harry had left the apartment a couple of afternoons ago, Dee had sprinted to my room like her life depended on it and demanded to hear every word that she had missed out on. Her demand was more of an I-know-you-have-things-to-tell-me-so-I-would-suggest-telling-me-please kind of look. And I had. I told her all of it. The chat Harry and I had had. The break through that had happened in the kitchen and then the break through of my own thoughts. She listened to every word.
Her words of encouragement were the exact kind I'd needed. Like always. She managed to make me feel even more supported and okay. I valued her thoughts and opinions highly and she never failed to make me realise that I was allowed to feel happy. There was so much stigma around second chances and I think that had been something I was afraid of. But not all situations applied to that. And for once I had to make an all or nothing decision. Dee only made me feel even more certain in my decision of choosing 'all'.
"It quite literally freaks me out how much you guys have changed," She shivered for the full effect, "But in like the best possible way ever." Her boots secured to the floor and she rolled her way over to my station in her swivel chair.
Once she reached me, she leant an elbow on the leather client chair and shook her head, "Think about it, right... I've been there to see it all. From the time I banged the fuck outta the hotel room door, to now." I watched as she placed her coffee on the chair beside us, leaning forward, her lips quivered a little when she said, "You're my best fucking friend, Mae."
The corners of my lips turned down a tad, matching her own, "You're my best friend too, Dee. Honestly don't know what I'd do without you." And that was the whole truth. I couldn't see a life where she wasn't in it.
"You know, I've never felt so certain that somebody was going to be in my life and be in it forever. Like actually stay. You make me feel it and know. I know we're gonna be rockin' it for life." She was doing that sad smile thing that actually meant she was really happy.
I smiled wide as I told her, "We're gonna be rocking it for-fucking-ever. Nobody's ever had me like you have. Like you do. Like I know you will."
"Are you on your period too?" She gasped, a tear cruising down her cheek.
"Yes! You as well?" My mouth was wide as she began nodding her head vigorously.
More tears were rushing down her face as fresh ones started slipping from my own. Once she realised I was tearing up that made her go even harder. "Oh god," She sniffled, wiping furiously at her eyes, "I'm so proud of you. Do you know how much I love you?" She asked like the answer was insane.
"A lot?" I squeaked, wiping the tear that ran all the way down to my chin.
Her eyes went wide, "The number doesn't even exist! I've never loved someone this much before. No one has ever loved me this much before. And now I'm feeling all weird and fuzzy inside because I've watched you grow. I've never watched someone grow into more of a beautiful person before. No one's ever stayed that long."
My back straightened, shoulders pulled back tight as my hand flew to cover my mouth. I paused. "Dee," I whispered, "You're making me want to walk back home in the rain and hide underneath my covers until I cry myself to sleep." Dee held her hands underneath her chin and started frown-smiling like a crazy person, "That's so sweet!" She gasped into a cry, covering her hands over eyes completely.
I ditched my coffee to the chair alongside hers and threw my arms around her. I nuzzled my nose into her hair and smelled the floral shampoo we both used. "I'm on my third day," Dee cried into my neck, "My third day is usually really heavy." I hummed at her words.
"Mine gets really heavy from day two and three." I sniffled, my own tears settling. I focused on soothing her, letting my fingers smooth over her long hair. "We're like sisters." She faintly whispered, pulling back and locking her tear soaked eyes on my glazed ones.
"Thanks for being you, Mae. I never want you to be anyone else. Okay? You're the best." My insides were tearing apart by the seams. Words so foreign weren't digesting into my system. If my insides had eyes they'd definitely be looking around at one another, confused, 'Us? We're the best? I... I think you might have the wrong person.' But nobody else was called Mae. There was nobody else around us.
So I smiled, because there was nothing else I wanted to do more. She was my own real life angel. "And I don't want you to be anyone else either. I love you. You. Dee Porter. That's who my girl is."
Dee was chewing on her bottom lip, trying to control the tears that were ready to spill. She smiled. "Mabel Lennox, you're one of a kind." Her head shook with disbelief, amazement. She was smiling and that was all that mattered.
"You girls fucking okay in here?" The worried voice of Eli walking out of the office and onto the main floor made the both of us turn in his direction.
My body started to fret a little. Seeing him properly. It was the first time I'd seen him since the party he'd invited us to and things... things still seemed weird. On my part at least. Though it wasn't like my insides were buzzing to talk to him. To talk about how weird that night had been. So I'd actively chosen to steer clear. It also helped that I hadn't been back to the shop until today. But I was here now. Yes, I was.
"Yeah we're fucking okay," Dee said, tone a lot more harsh than it had been seconds ago, "Just two girls tryna love each other." She shrugged, snagging her coffee back into her hands. I did the same.
Eli was standing by the front desk now. I could tell because that was where he was in my peripheral. I didn't particularly want to make eye contact. I didn't particularly want to converse with him either. Though, because the world liked to humble me, liked to remind me that even though I was allowed to be happy, I couldn't get comfortable, Eli called my name.
My head jerked in his direction. He was looking right at me. Yep. Nobody else here was called Mae. Unfortunately. I held my breath without realising, "Mh?" Dee was busying herself at her station but I knew where her eyes and ears were.
"Want to come help sort these papers in the office? One sec, promise." He spoke with a friendly grin.
If it wasn't rude to completely groan out, insanely loud, I would've done just that. My lips parted before any words left them and my eyes voluntarily darted to Dee before they darted back to him. "My client's due soon." I said. As in Harry. He would be here soon. Eli was probably bordering very low on the list of people I wanted to talk to right now. He wasn't last on the list. No, he was not. Just quite low. Considerably low.
"Come on, I'll be quick. Please?" He tried some more.
And I hated myself. I really did. "Just quickly." I said on my way over, past him, and into the office.
I heard his quiet sigh behind me though ignored it as his footsteps followed and then, we were both standing in the room that had never felt as small as it now did. He'd closed the door and walked around to the other side of the desk, opposite me.
"Just wanted to talk to you." He said, looking at me. His brows were a little furrowed. The sun was shining through the window behind him though it didn't make his skin glow. Nor did it brighten streaks of his hair.
"Could've said that to begin with." I told him blankly. Noticing the clear desk between us. No papers to be sorted.
He ran his hands back through his hair but it didn't have the same effect as when Harry did it.
"Things feel weird between us, Mae. I don't think I really helped that by the way I acted at the party the other night. Sorry for making you feel uncomfortable." He spoke calmly, as if he were thinking about each word before he spoke them.
He wasn't wrong. Things did feel weird. It made me feel slightly better that he thought so too. But that was the least of the weirdness floating around us.
"I just don't think it was really my kind of scene. Which is fine, you know. We like different things." I nodded, picking at the sides of my fingers. He nodded too. Like he understood. "Yeah, that's true."
I smiled a smile that was only for the sake of trying not to be even more awkward than I already was. But he wasn't even looking at me anymore and somehow that made me even more embarrassed. I dropped my smile. No use when it wasn't being watched.
"I just..." He began, though stopped before exhaling to take a breath, "I know you still love him." Oh god. Yeah, he was looking right at me now. Now that my heart was racing that bit faster. Now that my eyes had widened in shock.
The world was giving me a good humbling lesson. 'You can be happy. You're allowed to have good things', it said, watching and waiting before it side eyed and cooed, '... but not for too longgg'. It laughed and laughed and cackled and did jazz hands. As if it turned to its own audience and pointed, 'See? Ah, she'll never learn. That's what I like most about her'.
"Which, you know, is totally fine if that's what you want to do. But I just-" He paused again, "I was there when he wasn't. I was the one who helped you through that, and I'm not trying to be any certain way or anything... I'm not trying to confess my love for you. I swear I'm not. I don't love you. As a friend, yeah. Not romantically. But I saw what you were like after he left. I'm not sure he's worthy of the chance you're giving him."
I stayed quiet for a moment more, just in case he wasn't finished yet. After a second longer of him not saying anything, I began. "I'm not sure you know Harry well enough to deem him worthy of a chance or not." I paused, collecting my words, feeling them trying to run far enough so I wouldn't be able to reach them.
Though Eli must have taken my silence as if I had nothing else to say. So before I could gather my words, he said, "I have eyes. I don't have to know him that well. And I have a memory. Of you. Crying your eyes out and walking around this place like a goddamn ghost."
I took in a calming breath.
"I did do that, yeah. And I do remember you being there for me, E. I won't forget it either. But a lot has happened since all of that, a lot that you haven't seen." I told him. Inhaling after I'd said it. Exhaling evenly.
He stood there watching me. I couldn't read the kind of look he was sporting. I didn't want to. That was the difference between a lot of things.
"I get that." He nodded, ready to say more. "I just don't want you to make the wrong choice. I'm trying to look out for you."
"Well maybe I don't need you to look out for me."
All was quiet then.
It was still quiet after more than awhile. It was me staring at him intently now. He was peering elsewhere. Trying to at least. My hands were now secured over my chest.
"I don't want to fight with you, Mae. This isn't a fight, just so you know." I nodded at his words as if to say 'righhht.' This wasn't a fight but it certainly wasn't helping sort through papers either. "Guess we won't be those kinda friends anymore, huh?" He laughed out.
"Ha," I breathed a laugh, an awkward get-me-out-of-here laugh, "No, just regular friends." I tried nicely clarifying. Though the look of his face was sort of sour. I wasn't sure why. Or I was. I had an idea of why. But it didn't make sense since there had been no depth to us at all. Not enough. Not nearly enough.
His eyes weren't the same shade as the ones that I was already missing. They were much darker than the green that glowed when met with mine. His tattoos didn't scream to be explored now. They sat against his skin and they were his own. His hair was that tinge of golden brown and I realised that didn't quite do it for me anymore. It might've appeased the Mae that I had been. But then again, maybe she just liked the shade when she wished of it darker.
"Are you sure he's the right one for you, Mae?" Eli asked again, pulling me out of my own realisation.
My brows furrowed, my head shook with wonder why he couldn't understand, "I'm allowed to have something good like this, E," I told him confidently, "I am." Though what I didn't like was the fact that it sounded like I had to prove myself. I didn't have to. Not to him. Not to anyone. It wasn't his business anyway.
"Well," He exhaled, "I'll be here no matter what happens." But I didn't like the sound of that. Not when it came after the words he'd just spoken. Not when they really meant something else. 'When it all goes to shit, I'll still be here.' That's what he really meant.
I could read between the lines. I wondered if he thought I couldn't. But I could. I did. I just couldn't be bothered trying to justify myself when he so clearly seemed set in his ways. I didn't have to explain my choices to somebody who wasn't even directly involved with them. No. No I did not. So I didn't.
"I'm going to finish setting up." I turned towards the door and grabbed the handle, twisting it open. "Yeah," He said, "Okay. Thanks for the chat."
I sent him a nod, "Better finish sorting those papers."
He just laughed a breathless laugh, "Yeah."
I didn't need to take that as my cue to leave. I already knew. Or I was out the door before the cue could even present itself. I wasn't sure what had just happened exactly. Or really the intent behind it. Though maybe that was just it. I didn't know, and I didn't need to. I wouldn't press myself on the matter. I wouldn't rack my brain for answers when I didn't want them.
So I continued on. Hearing the door softly click closed behind me. Dee was watching me as I mouthed, "What the fuck?" Her brows arched and she lay across her client chair, feet up. "What the hell was all that about?" She asked.
Reaching my station which was already set up, I put a hand on my hip and shook my head, "He wanted to clear the air, I guess? But he was asking if I was sure Harry was the right one for me." I summed up in fewer words when none were needed.
Her eyes bugged out and her nose scrunched, "Uh, and that's his business because why?"
"Not sure." I shrugged, "I said he didn't really know Harry enough, or the situation, to be able to make a true judgment on them."
Her eyes rolled, "Don't let him get to you. He's being a typical guy who's feelings are hurt when they shouldn't be. What, he's hurt because you didn't choose him? He wasn't even a choice to begin with. A few kisses here and there doesn't equal up to even half the shit you and Harry have been through."
"I know." I exhaled.
"Trust me, it's not worth worrying about, babe. Not for a second. Not for a minute. Definitely not enough to bring that shit home. Okay? Not gonna bring it home?"
"Not gonna bring it home." I nodded softly.
She gave me a small grin in return and I turned just in time to see Harry approaching the door of the shop. He looked gorgeous. Those denim jeans that hugged his thighs. The textured shirt he wore that wasn't buttoned all the way. It was freezing out. He still dressed like it was almost summer.
He grabbed the shop door and pulled it back, the little bell above ringing. His eyes went straight to mine and my knees could have given out if I'd let them.
"Hi, baby." He approached, his legs so long he devoured the space between us quicker than I could blink. Lowering his head, he placed his lips to mine. They were cold. Yet sweet. I pecked them twice more before opening my eyes and smiling, "Hi."
His hand warmed the small of my back, over the bare skin that showed below my long sleeve. The shiny piercings sat just above the line of my jeans. His fingers skating over them. My darker denim contrasting against his much lighter pair.
"Dee." Harry nodded her way.
She peered over, grinning and nodding all the same as she stated, "Shithead."
The two of them sported a grin that looked so insanely cute I couldn't bid my eyes away. Nor did I want to. Dee broke eye contact first though, meeting my gaze and sending a wink over before she busied herself at her station.
Harry's fingers were grazing over the skin of my lower back now, going back and forth along the line of where my jeans ended. "Everything alright? You're frowning more than usual." He said, stepping to face me instead.
"I frown usually?"
"Uh, yeah. But it's a gorgeous, really, really hot frown." His eyes had wandered to the ceiling in thought.
"Frowns can't be gorgeous. Or hot. I don't think."
He shrugged, smirking as he lowered his lips to my forehead this time. He hovered there, feeling his warmth settle on my skin before he spoke, "Well yours are. Guess no one can do it like you can." He pressed a kiss to my forehead. A long, lingering, soul crushing peck.
I closed my eyes with him there. Letting my head rest against his plush lips. His arms slowly settled around my waist, holding me against him. "Eli wanted to have a chat..." I huffed in a lower tone, "He just had stuff to say about not wanting to see me hurt again. It was kind of weird. But whatever, I'm not going to let myself think about it."
"It getting to you?"
I opened my eyes and rolled them. "Not really. It just bugs me that he things he has a say on what I want to do with my life. He was there for me, absolutely, and I'm not disregarding that. But he also hasn't been there enough for all the nitty gritty to tell me what he thinks is best."
Harry hummed and settled his hands against each side of my neck, holding me with his thumbs stroking along my jaw, "People like to give their unsolicited advice. They like it once it's heard and off their own chest. Makes them feel better about themselves." He exhaled as if he knew the feeling quite well.
"Doesn't make me feel better about myself." I pouted in his hands, his thumb pulling down my bottom lip even more.
He sported a pout that matched my own, eyebrows furrowed too, "I know, baby. But you know he's talking out of his ass. Stuff that you know you don't even need to think about. You think about everything else," He said, "You don't need to be thinking about that too."
Reaching up on my tippy toes, I circled my hands around the nape of his neck and met my chest with his. "I love you, H." My whisper heated his cheek as I placed a kiss to it.
His gruff, sexily, smokey laugh rumbled against my chest as he kissed the dip of my collarbone, "I love you so much it hurts."
I let my eyes close for a moment, until I remembered where we were and that this was definitely not the time to let those words settle into my skin and body.
"Get your ass on the chair, sweet stuff." I pointed to the leather chair.
"Mmm, like the sound of you getting all bossy like that, Mae." He casually let his hands slip from my waist as he walked his way over to where I was pointing. "I can get a lot more bossy if you like it that much." I quirked a finger to my chin and nibbled on my bottom lip.
Harry sat with his legs spread wide on the chair like it were the most comfortable position ever. It probably was since he carried it so well. "Just tell me which way you want me, babe, I'm all yours." His voice had noticeably dropped lower. I was thinking about the other day in the bathroom now. But I couldn't be thinking of such a thing when I was being professional. Because yes, that's what I was supposed to be right now. Professional.
"Can I join in on this conversation?" Dee piped up, popping her head around the corner from the storage room she had gone into, "Actually, no you guys keep going. I'll just take notes."
I stared at her with my lips parted but corners curled upwards. Harry had a smug grin playing on his cheeks, shaking his head slowly. "Well why'd you guys stop? Keep going." She waved her hand around in the exact gesture of what she meant.
"Don't think you need notes in the department of smooth talking, Dee. I'd be well shocked if you did." Harry called over to her. Her fingers tapped the wall beside her cheek. "You're so right," She laughed out, "You're absolutely right." Her mass of dark hair swished as she turned back into the store room.
Laughing to myself, because that was such a Dee thing to do, I focused my attention on Harry waiting patiently. I pulled up another chair and brought it to the table in the corner of my station, where my notepad, transfer paper and special marker for it sat.
"Is that what we were doing?" I smirked, asking him softly as I crossed a leg over the other and sat facing his side. He was already watching me with bright eyes as I finished, "Smooth talking?"
His head shook, "That wasn't smooth talking, baby. Just the very honest truth."
"Hm," I thought about it, "Good to know."
His smirk spoke volumes. Words that didn't need to be said because I understood them.
"So now is a good time for us to talk about what you'd like to get. It'll take me a little bit to get them drawn up but once I'm done I'll start slinging the ink." The marker sat in between my index and middle finger as I tapped it on the notepad below.
"I feel quite honoured that you're gonna sling my ink." Harry said.
To which I shrugged, "You should be."
Smirking, he told me honestly, "I'm not really fussed with what I get. Just want something of yours on me." My skin heated at that. It was a very heavy statement to throw out. And as confident as I was in my skills, since I'd been doing it for quite some time now, it was still his gorgeous skin I was about to mark forever.
"Come on, H," I groaned a little, "You've got to give me some kind direction. Absolutely anything in mind?"
"Just wanna know what hides in the darkest parts of your mind. Whatever it is. Gimme that."
I pondered for a bit.
"What if it makes no sense?"
He tilted his head as if that were a silly question, "I want it anyway, Mae. You've got a unique way of thinking. Want your thoughts on me." He said so casually and very surely.
Yet what a huge statement that was.
-
"It's so soothing watching you." Harry calmly spoke.
He'd been sitting in the chair for a while now, long enough that it surprised me how he hadn't shown an ounce of restlessness.
After I'd taken some time to let my mind think. Or not think. Instead, drawing whatever lived in my very mind. Or how I pictured it at least. The drawings had come along in a way where it felt different perceiving them myself. Seeing a visual of what I thought lived inside of my head. Seeing it in front of me.
I'd shown Harry and after being quiet for long enough to make me worry, he'd simply said, "Didn't doubt you for one fucking second. And that," He'd pointed to the papers in my hands and continued, "is why."
We talked placement, then I'd prepped his skin and begun. The first two tattoos were fresh, raw and finished. I was now on the lucky last one. In that time, Harry had caught up with how the process of the shop had gone way back when it had just begun, so much so, it was like he'd been there to see it all himself.
He'd thrown so many questions my way, truly interested in the aftermath of the shop opening, of how we'd gone getting used to it all. He was so genuinely wanting to know these things.
It felt refreshing telling him anything he wanted to know, and I would, of course, tell him anything. When he sported those wide, glowing, green eyes. That line of concentration on his forehead. That small, cheeky, playful quirk of his lips. I'd never felt anyone have their true attention and focus on me the way he did. And he was interested. Stayed interested. It felt like I could talk nonsense for hours and he'd still look at me all the same. As if no time had even passed at all.
So I smiled at his change of words, to which I answered, "You used to do this very job. You miss it?" I wiped over the skin I was focusing on, loving the sound of the buzz hitting my senses.
Harry let his arm rest completely for me as he said, "Not sure actually. I think it was working with Dee everyday that made me really enjoy it. The work was exciting but I got over it. We were working all hours, dosed up on caffeine, sleep deprived and going back to a shitty home every night. It's hard to seperate the memories with the job. She made it worth it though."
I was focusing on shading a certain part of his skin though I took in his words as if I were looking right at them. A part of me wished it could see the days when Harry and Dee were unscathed by the world, trying to tackle it together. The way Harry spoke of her always sounded like a past time, yet she was right here. They both tended to do that when mentioning one another. I wondered if they knew they did that. I wondered if they realised the person they were reminiscing on was right there in front of them.
"I would've loved to see you two working together." I laughed just thinking about it. I could see it so clearly. Harry chuckled too, shaking his head slightly, "We were a mess," He said, "But it was fucking fun." I could see it in his eyes that he was somewhere else, still present, just thinking. I wished I could see those memories he remembered so fondly.
Going over with the last bit of ink, I gave his skin another wipe and looked at it clearly. He was looking down at it too. It felt surreal to see something so permanent on such delicate skin. Something from my mind was now marking his soft, preciously sweet skin.
I'm not sure I'd ever get over it. The way he saw such beauty in the thing living in my head made me want to do the same. It made me want to reach out for him and plead, 'Wait! Please wait for me. I just need to catch up!' I wasn't sure why I was pleading. He would always make sure I was right there with him.
"I'm proud of you." He spoke softly as I cleaned him up, glazing ointment over his skin gently.
My eyes flickered over to his, a faint smile ghosting my lips. "Really am, Mae. You work really fucking hard and create such beautiful things. You should be proud of yourself too." Since the buzzing had stopped, there was now a blanket of quietness draped around us. Just us. Him and I. He was telling me how proud of myself I should be, and for the first time ever I was wanting so badly to feel it. Like maybe I really could.
His eyes honed in on my nibbling lips and he chuckled, "Better not be a 'thank you' I hear about to come from that mouth." I rolled away on my chair, further back so he could stand up. Though I quickly stood too, rushing over to him and placing a longing kiss to his marshmallow lips. We both laughed halfway through it. I pulled back from him, letting him continue getting up out of the chair.
"I love you."
"That's a better answer," He smirked, "I love you too, cherry girl."
And all was right in the world, it felt like, after hearing him say such words. I bet he didn't know the way they sounded coming from his own lips, and how it physically felt as if he were picking up every tiny piece that made up the collection of my insides and helped glue them one by one. Together.
The shop was empty, today being our quietest of days. I was glad for it. Eli had slinked his way out some time ago, not bidding anybody a goodbye, just a silent head nod. Dee had been floating around, though now she was hauled up in the office, finally doing the paper work she'd put off all of last week. She was playing music in there. The faint hum of it echoing into our blanketed space. It felt nice. It brought a reminiscent feeling to the mix, I couldn't put my finger on the memory though.
Harry was now standing in front of the floor length mirror. I stood behind him. My head bopping over his shoulder when I looked in our reflection. But really, I was only watching him. How his eyes trailed over every possible thing I'd just put on his skin. Moving in ways that could quite possibly make me dizzy if I stared too long. He was taking it all in. Appreciating it. Welcoming it gently.
The first tattoo we had decided to place above his anchor, in the space that had been left clear for so long. Now, it wasn't empty anymore. It had a figure of a girl, only her outline, no features except for her pointy ears peeking out through her hair. Her hair was long, covering her mostly, and her arms wrapped around herself as if she were trying to protect something. Behind her figure loomed these skeletal sort of branches. All stemming from her. Or keeping her protected. Nobody knew.
On his opposite arm, the back of his bicep, there now sat two sets of eyes. Each staggered though connected by the way their pupils bled into one another. Their seeping vision. Perspectives intertwined by another. And another. Sometimes too many to know anything at all. The black ink matched the rest of the art on his body. There were no spurts of really colourful colour. I quite liked it that way. And as long as I could tattoo him for, I would carry the narrative.
Lastly, on the sweet skin of his forearm sat the last one. Another girl, one with worry filled eyes. Below her eyes and upwards was all that showed of her. Hair surrounding and brows slightly furrow as she peered at something. Again, nobody knew what. There was a gaping hole amongst her mind though, one that was filled with circles and circles and looked liked an endless tunnel. Loop after loop after loop. But tiny little sunflowers surrounded her. Sunflowers thrived in the sun. It was all they really needed to grow. They were a sign of summer and adoration and all that was bright. There was hope after all.
He was smiling now. Eyes still wandering from new ink to new ink. He'd flex his arm. Then let it relax. He moved around in all kinds of ways just to see it in every light. He looked happy with it. We'd gone through it enough times for him to reassure me that was what he wanted. For me to not worry that it would mark his skin forever, because that's exactly what it would do.
Letting his eyes stray from the mirror, from his arms, from the ink, he turned from it. Peering down at me like he was, and being weary not to wrap his arms around me because of the fresh, reddening, raw skin, he stepped as close to me as he could.
The tips of our shoes touching. His body warmth now mixing with my own. I was peering up at him— or trying to— until he let out a peaceful breath and lay the gentlest most softest kiss down onto the top of my head, into my hair. My eyes fluttered closed. Feeling this moment in full.
"I'm in love with your mind." He breathed.
And I thought, my god, there really is hope after all.