im really bad at chapter coordination bc im a full-time procrastinator but I think about three more chapters?? don't hold me up to it.
I LOVE YOU
The blonde sees George the next day. Not in real life, but in a dream.
It's realistic in a way that frightens Dream. Every aspect of it was too detailed, and it struck a nerve of familiarity that shook Dream's world.
The blonde wakes up on the roof, back leaned against the borders, head leaning against the wall. He knows it's a dream before he takes his first breath. He knows because for once, he doesn't feel the heaviness in his chest, or the ache of his eyes from crying too much.
He knows it's a dream because he doesn't feel sad. He feels as if everything's finally okay, that things that returned to the state it should have been.
He knows that George is there.
The sky is pitch black, and the only light visible is the full moon and its glittering stars that accompany it in the blanket of darkness. A silver glow is cast all over, painting Dream's skin a familiar shade of marble.
"Dream?" a voice rings out into the silence.
This was when the blonde freezes in an instant. He recognizes the voice so much that it scares him. It's the voice he longed to hear, just one more time.
And there it was. Just one more time.
"George?" he asks in a frail voice. Dream turns to the side, the back of his head colliding with the railing. His eyes settle on George, who's sitting a few meters away from the blonde, staring at the space in front of him with a blank look.
The brunette looks the same. The same fluffy brown hair, the same soft eyes, the same freckles that Dream had spent so much time admiring. The moonlight shines on him, highlighting his peaceful expression on his face.
Seeing George underneath the silver glow of the moon is nothing foreign to Dream. The blonde has seen him like this every day, with the window in full view and the lights from outside shining through the glass.
It hurts Dream to see him like this.
The blonde's breath hitches, his back pressing against the wall even more. His hands are shaking, in fact, his whole body seems to tremble as he stares at George.
"You died, George," the blonde whispers, but he knows that George has heard him in the way he flinches. "You're gone, but I'm not."
The ache in Dream's chest returns, and it's so bad that he doesn't know if he can even breathe normally.
"Dream," the brunette responds calmly. "Please."
"I still-" Dream shakes his head, squeezing his eyes shut. "I still don't know why you did what you did, why did you lie to me?"
George is silent. He stares into the night, making no attempt to say anything.
"You lied to me, even when you knew that I would hurt. You could have been honest, George. You knew that I loved you more than I could love anything, you knew that I would have died for you," the blonde says, choking on his words. "And yet you didn't even bother to tell me anything. It doesn't matter that you wrote me stacks of letters, it doesn't matter that you got Wilbur to tell me the things you didn't have the courage to tell me, and it sure doesn't matter that you're seeing me."
"But, I-"
"Shut up!" Dream cries out, even surprising himself. He breathes in deeply before continuing. "Just shut up, George. There is nothing you could tell me that will lead me to forgive you. Ever. I still love you, I would still die for you, but I'll never forgive you for what you did to me." He looks to the side, not realizing that he was crying. "We promised each other, George. Did that not mean anything?"
The brunette's gaze drifts to the ground, guilt written all over his face.
"You promised me that you'd always tell me everything, and I promised you that I would always listen. I was there. I would have listened. I would kiss you, and, yes, I would cry, but I'd love you the same. I'd still look at you the same way. I wouldn't leave you just because I knew that there would be no 'tomorrow' for us," Dream sobbed. "I wouldn't leave, because I knew that there would still be a 'today,' and that there always will. I loved the futures we promised each other, but I loved you more than that."
"I'd do anything to be with you forever, for us to last forever," the blonde chuckles softly, rubbing away a tear. He stares out into the night sky, "Is that why you love stars so much? So that memories will last forever?"
This time, George turns around to make eye contact with Dream.
His brown eyes still carry the same amount of brightness. The same spark he knew was always there. It becomes even brighter as the corners of his soft lips upturn into a small smile. George nods, not breaking eye contact.
"To the stars, everything is forever," the brunette whispers, and Dream feels his heart break a little more as he hears George's voice again. He looks to the side and at the blonde, eyes saddening. "I broke my promise, Dream. I admit it."
"I know."
"I made promises I couldn't keep and lied you into believing them," George says, a bit louder now. His voice trembles in the still of the night, slightly echoing.
"I know, George. I know."
"No, you don't, Dream. You don't know everything. You don't know the pain I had to go through knowing that Ill hurt the one person I loved the most. I saw you slowly destroy yourself, each bit of the Dream I once loved faltering," the brunette sobs into his hand, breaking eye contact. "I knew that I'd still love you if you were broken, and I knew that you would do the same for me."
It's silent for a bit, but it's comfortable, honest. Everything between them has changed drastically, but the thing that made them special was still there—would always be there.
"I knew that I was already broken when I met you, and I had accepted that already. I loved you because you made me whole, you made me feel a sense of belonging I never knew was supposed to be there. You held me and somehow put together the pieces that were destined to be broken apart," George cries, letting out stuttered breaths. "I watched you break ever so slightly in front of me, and I knew that it'd never change—not until both of us were broken."
The brunette laughs softly into the darkness, leaning up towards the sky and letting subtle beams of moonlight reflecting off of his tear-stained face.
"We're both broken now, there's nothing left to protect," George admits. "The whole time, I thought I was protecting you—shielding you from all of those things I didn't want to face, and I realized that you were the one protecting me in the first place."
George looks up at Dream, his eyes shining with tears and apology.
"You were always looking out for me, putting my needs in front of yours, and- and I hurt you, Dream. I did the the thing I swore I wouldn't do to you. I knew that you would hurt, and I did it anyway. I convinced myself that it was okay—that you wouldn't hurt so bad, but I was wrong," George says, breath shaking. His whole body racks with sobs as he hugs his knees to his chest, an obvious attempt of hiding from Dream.
He doesn't want to break in front of the blonde. Dream's seen it too many times already, and he's always done the same thing. He'd always run over to George's side, no matter the circumstance, and hold him so close he swears that he'll never let go. He would feel the brunette's chest rise and fall as he breathed against Dream's body.
But Dream does exactly that.
It didn't matter that he was still pissed at George, or the fact that he knew that George was gone.
He still came by the brunette's side and hugged him close. George cries even harder, hands clenching around the fabric of Dream's shirt. Tears roll down his face as he feels the blonde run his hands across George's back reassuringly.
It's a too familiar feeling, even sort of haunting.
"I still love you," George whispers under his breath. He melts into Dream's touch, not intending to ever let go. "I told myself that I'll stop loving you, but I don't know how because I don't think I've ever gone a day without loving you."
"That's not true," the blonde says, holding back the sadness in his voice. He brings a hand and plays with George's hair almost instinctively, then lets go as he realizes what he's doing.
"It's true, Dream," George laughs. "I think I even loved you when I first met you, and probably even before that. I think we were made by the universe for each other, forever destined to meet and fall in love."
Dream doesn't say anything.
"A part of me always knew that I was in love with you, that your hand was the only one I wanted to hold. It was the kind of love that hurt. The kind of love that made you wonder where we would be if only things were a little different."
Dream still doesn't say anything, but he knows that George is right. Even now, the love between them hurt.
He looks at the brunette wrapped in his arms. His eyes are closed, moonlight slightly caught between his long eyelashes. His skin is pale under the ivory glow, looking angelic as ever.
"I love you, George."
The stillness of the atmosphere returns, and Dream can feel the brunette sigh into his chest.
"I know."
They stay like that wordlessly, Dream's arms pulling George closer into his chest while George hid his face in the crook of Dream's neck. There's something comforting about this, feeling a level of closure they both craved for.
The glittery sky still looms on the top of them, providing a peaceful atmosphere.
George speaks first. "Are you still mad at me?"
"No," Dream responds immediately, and he's sorry that he made George think that. "No, I'm not mad."
George hums softly. "That's good because I wouldn't want you to always be mad at me."
They're quiet for a bit, both watching the sky turn into a lighter shade. A sliver of sun peeks above the horizon, painting the dark atmosphere with a warm glow. It rises slowly, ascending into the sky and scaring all of the darkness away.
"I love the sun," George suddenly murmurs.
The blonde looks at the person in his arms, then turns to look at the sky. "You do?"
"I do," George laughs. "The sun reminds me of you. It chases the darkness-- the bad things away. It brings in the light, something I've always needed."
Silence falls between them once more, and Dream can feel the warmth of the sun's rays on his skin.
Wake up.
But Dream doesn't wake up, he's still there. He's still holding George close to him, reliving the memories that he could never let go of.
"They don't meet, do they?" Dream suddenly asks, voice ringing out into the silence.
"Who?"
"The sun and the stars."
George slowly turns to face the blonde, reaching a hand up to hold the side of Dream's face. His fingers trace his soft skin, leaving an almost electric touch.
"The sun is a star, Dream."
The blonde smiles, but it hurts to feel so happy.
"I miss you," he admits. "I miss you so much."
The blonde laughs airily into the silence of the night, as he continues to make eye contact with George. The brunette is smiling now, lips upturned into a subtle grin. He reaches forward and wraps his arms around Dream's neck, pulling him in even closer.
"Dream," the brunette whispers into his ear. "I need you to do me a favor."
Dream brings his hand from George's waist to hold the side of his face comfortingly. The blonde nods, not knowing what George was going to ask of him.
"I need you to say goodbye."
"Goodbye?" Dream asks, running his fingers through the brunette's hair. He knows it's not right that he's getting used to George once more. He's spent so much time learning to live without him that he's not sure that he can do this again. "I can't say goodbye to you again, George," Dream whispers through a mask of hurt.
"Dream," the brunette pleads, "I need you to say goodbye."
"To you?"
"To us." George hesitates, pressing a chaste kiss on the bridge of Dream's nose. "I just need to know that you'll be okay."
"George."
"Let go, Dream," the brunette says through stuttered breaths. "I know it's not going to be easy, but you have to let me go."
"I can't lose you," Dream cries. "I've already lost you two times, once by walking away, once because you were gone when I came back. I've already lost you, George, and I can't- I can't let go."
The brunette stays still, hands still hugging Dream's neck. He looks up at Dream's face, eyes glossy with tears. "You haven't lost me, Dream."
"I have."
"You will never lose me," George says sternly. "That's why I have to trust you to let go."
"Of you?"
The brunette reluctantly nods, every movement hesitant. "Of me, of us, of everything we had together. We have to let go of it all. All of the beautiful memories that will forever make me cry, all of the memories that could have been so beautiful, but we'd never get a chance at. The versions of us that promised each other that we would never let go. They're all in the past, I'm in the past," he explains softly, melting into Dream's touch. "But you're not in the past, you're out there somewhere living in the ways you deserve."
"You didn't deserve you die, George," the blonde whispers, voice trembling.
"I know that," George smiles weakly, biting the inside of his cheek to hold back a sob. "I didn't deserve to die, but I still did. And you..." he sighs. "And you don't deserve to hurt like this, and yet you are out here, hurting. The world is an unfair place, Dream. No one gets what they deserve. I need you to move on and live the things I needed you to live through. What was our future should still be your future. Go fall in love, get married, and do the things I would have wanted for us so desperately. I just need you to say goodbye to me, that's it."
Dream stares at the brunette in disbelief. His hands are shaking as he wipes a falling tear off of George's face.
"Please," the brunette begs. His head falls limp on Dream's chest as sobs break out, only crying harder when he feels Dream's arms wrap around him tighter. "Please."
"I can't do this without you," Dream whispers.
"Promise me, Dream," George persists, taking a couple of steady breaths before saying anything. "Promise me that you'll look into the sky and laugh. I want you to think of me and not hurt, I want you to smile and move on.
Dream knows that he has to promise George. He just has to.
George's death isn't a bad dream he can pinch himself and wake up from. This was real life, and there was no way to just run away from it all or bring George back to him.
"I can't," Dream chokes.
"You can," the brunette responds calmly. "I know you can. You can do anything, I know it."
"I've changed, George," he shakes his head slowly. "I'm not the same person you left, I'm so wounded and bruised."
George smiles reassuringly. "Someone once told me that wounds heal. They may leave scars, but in the end, they're just a scar." His fingers trail the slight scar on the blonde's eyebrow, then gestures up to the vast darkness spotted with stars. "Look into the sky every time you miss me. Look into the sky every time you think about us and feel the feeling of ache in your chest."
As if on cue, the blonde looks up into the sky, face upturning to face the past.
"We're written in the stars, you said it yourself. And I told you that the stars are a mirror of the past, that means we still exist somewhere-" George grins. "-out there."
"The stars bring you close," Dream whispers. His eyes flutter shut, and if he concentrates hard enough, he can bring himself back to the day he first learned what George's lips tasted like. He brings himself back to a much simpler time when he would wake up next to the brunette in the hospital and feel his heartbeat against him.
"No," George laughs. "The stars brought you close."
That's the exact moment Dream had woken up.
He jolts awake, shirt covered in a cold sweat as his back presses against the wall. He's sitting up now, hands trembling in front of him. The room is dark, the curtains closed, a harsh reminder that it was all just a dream.
Dream gets up, hands still trembling. He walks to his window and slightly parts the curtains, until the moonlight spills into the room. The sun hasn't risen yet, the night still remains.
He parts the curtains until the silver glow of the moon covers everything, something so bittersweet.
For the first time in a long time, Dream keeps the curtains open.
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2955 words