I turn around and face my landlord. They lean against my wall with a flirtatious face.
"Why are you here?" I ask. Why has everyone been breaking into my apartment?! The irony is fucking killing me!
"I figured I'd drop in to lay something important on you..."
"I'm going to stop you right there buddy..." I say. "You can't break in here to confess your love. That isn't attractive in the slightest and it ain't happening." I say bluntly.
"Wow, I've always loved how feisty you are. It turns me on... but now enough is enough. I know you are playing hard to get."
"And who the fuck told you that?" I question. Could they not take the hint? Hell, I straight up told them— forget "hint"!
"I can feel it." they say. "Look, I've been patient for far too long and I have to get this off my chest. I really do love you..."
I blink a few times, "My condolences. You should really pick another candidate..."
"Oh (y/n) dear, no one could ever replace you. Two years ago from today is when we met for the first time. Remember signing all that paperwork?"
If this mothafuckin hoe don't get up outta my cot damn house...
They begin to walk towards me and I back away more into the kitchen. They scoop up the rose from the counter top and hand it to me. "Please give me a chance. Let's go on a date tonight, it would mean so much to me. I'll pay for everything."
I stare at them. Part of me feels bad because I could see they were so desperate. But I was not interested in them at all. And there's no way that they like me for me! Shit— they know not a single thing about me! They only know what I've shown them. They only want me for my looks...
It wouldn't have killed me to give in and go on a date with them but I am not leading them on. It's not right and plus, I can't let them think it's okay to break inside my apartment room again.
"Please?" they beg.
I sigh, "I'm really sorry, but I can't— I just don't feel the same way—aH!"
They aggressively push me up against the counter to restrain me. They place a hand over my mouth.
They lean into my ear and whisper, "I didn't necessarily break in here to confess to you (y/n). I know what the fuck you've been up to. I've seen the experiments you do up here, the fucked up shit in your closet, and those sketchy shipments you send out. I used to wonder how you even payed my rent but with some digging around, I finally got some answers."
I intake every word and it sends shivers down my spine. One of my worst nightmares finally came true. My secret was discovered.
I talk muffled under their hand so they slightly move it to hear what I'm saying.
"Who have you told?" I asked.
"As of right now; no one. But if you want it to stay that way then you better give me something in return daily."
"Money?" I ask.
They laugh, "Take your clothes off."
Well fucking played. As if—
"Only if you do it for me~" I flirt.
They go to lift my hoodie and I immediately knee them in the stomach. "Surprise motherfucker!"
"AGH!" they scream and slightly curl up.
I jump up and slide across the kitchen island. When I land, I swiftly turn around and reach for my blaster...
My blaster...
It's not fucking there— shit!
My landlord laughs and stands back up. "Looking for this?" they hold up my blaster. "Did you really think it'd be that easy."
"Well duh..." I say as I get into a fighting stance.
They begin firing my blaster at me and I dodge it. I don't know what they were trying to do; it was my damn blaster— the scorpion! I knew all the weak points and disadvantages so shooting me wasn't ever gonna happen.
"I hope you know that I really didn't want to fight you. How about we compromise with something?" they ask while firing at me.
I scoff, "Compromise?! No— all that would be is you blackmailing me with a few extra steps!" I grab a chair and chuck it at them.
They yelp barely dodging it. I would've totally laughed at that if I weren't so caught up in the moment. They get frustrated and aim the blaster at my closet. "MOVE A SINGLE MUSCLE AND I FREE EVERYTHING IN THERE!" they shout.
My eyes widened and I freeze. "If you do that, then both our lives are over..."
"No. Just yours." They quickly aim the blaster back at me and shoot.
Fuck I should've seen that coming...
I get tased and fall to the ground. "UGH!" I shout in distress. I can't move...
My landlord walks over to me and squats down by my head. "See what happens when you misbehave?" they move some of my hair out from my face.
"I'm not afraid of you!" I sneer.
"OOooo so feisty..." they begin to stroke my body clearly enjoying my defenseless state. "I've always loved that about you..."
Oh this is disgusting— the second I can move again is when their downfall begins... "Stop touching me you ass licking shithead!" I yell.
"Please keep talking..." they say. "Beg for-"
Donatello comes crashing through the window and stares at the scene. "Ew! Unhand them you thirsty fiend!" He sprints over to us and smacks my landlord upside the head with his bo-staff. My landlord sores across the room and hits the wall.
"About fucking time!" I shout.
"Sorry sweetheart!" Donatello says to me as he makes his way over to my landlord, "But you should know that I'm always fashionably late no matter the occasion!"
"WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!" the landlord screams as they sit up. They aim the blaster at Donatello and fires.
Big mistake.
Donatello laughs and makes his way closer to my landlord who fearfully keeps firing. Poor thing had no clue as to why the scorpion wasn't working on Donatello. I remember when I made that mistake... the memories.
"W-What the fuck are you?!" they ask trembling as Donatello hovers above them. He whacks the blaster out of their hand and it scatters across the floor.
"Is it cliché for me to say your worst nightmare?" Donatello asks.
I groan, "Yes! So cliché that I might vomit if you do..."
"Shut it (y/n)! You're ruining my badass moment!"
"Oh please—" I mock.
Donatello lifts up his staff. "One first class ticket to horny jail coming up!"
My landlord holds a hand up and screams. Donatello swings and knocks them upside the head.
My landlord now lays unconscious on the floor.
I let out a sigh of relief and stare into the ceiling.
Wow— So much could've went wrong just then.
My view is then blocked by Donatello standing over me with a smirk. "This is the part where you praise me and call me your hero..."
I narrow my eyes at him. "You're a damn piece of work..." I say tiredly.
"I'm waitinggg~" he coos.
"Thank you Donatello..."
"For?" he presses with a shit eating grin.
I groan. He's so lucky I'm temporarily paralyzed right now. "For... for saving me..." I say sluggishly.
"And?" he presses further.
"And imma beat your green ass if you keep pushing it!"
"Wrong! The full correct answer I was looking for was "Thank you Donatello the undaunted for saving my vulnerable self with your spectacular hi-tech multipurpose titanium alloy bo-staff", so you didn't quite nail it— perhaps next time." he rambles.
I roll my eyes. "The day I say that is the day that I decide is my last— in other words, dream on Donatalk-show..."
He snickers and walks over to my unconscious landlord to inspect them, "So they were head over heels for you huh?" he asks amused.
"Yep." I finally start to feel my body again and slowly sit up. I rub my head while still feeling tingly.
"They must be blind to find you attractive..."
"Ha ha ha— so funny I forgot to laugh..." I say sarcastically. "Anyways, they found out about the luminous vermins in my closet..."
"Hm, I can't say I'm surprised. They did have the key to your room and your closet lock is broken so..."
"And who's fault is that?! None of this would've happened if you didn't break the lock in the first place!" I complain.
"Don't you shift the blame on me! How about you elaborate on why they came in here to begin with? Wanna know why? It's because you're too sketchy and suspicious! So it isn't shocking that they investigated into you!" he argues.
"No— they came in here because they have an obsession with me in case you didn't notice! And they just so happened to discover more than they wanted to."
"Well if you knew that they liked you then you should've been more careful! Everyone knows that when they have a secret admire, they are most likely being stalked and observed closely!"
I start to snicker.
He cocks up an eyebrow, "What?"
"Is that why you stalked me yesterday?"
He gasps disgustedly, "Don't you dare over analyze or twist my own words against me!"
"Whoops." I sarcastically remark. I stand up and stretch.
"But to answer your question: no. It's my job to keep a close eye on everybody— the responsibility of being a hero." he explains. I kinda tune him out.
I stare down at my landlord. "What should I do with them?"
Donatello shrugs, "Why don't you stick them in a jar like the rest of your prisoners..."
"Honestly speaking, I don't think they will be bothering me again. This will surely traumatize them..."
"If you insist. But you do realize that they are fully aware of the oozequito situation— they might use it against you to seek revenge..."
"Trust me, they are not the vengeance type..."
"Okay but I totally would enjoy moving a few circuits in their brain to erase their memory..."
"Don't even think about it Donatello." I grab my landlord by the feet and drag them over to my door. "Now help me take them back to their room..."
He sighs, "I don't think you see the whole picture since you're deciding to disregard this threat as a whole." He walks over to the door and opens it for me.
I begin to drag them out to the hallway. "At first I was worried about them knowing my secret but let's be real; if they were to try something— they wouldn't even stand a chance."
"You're right. I could never be bested by a commoner! However, factor in that I won't always be around to save you."
I chuckle mockingly, "I don't need saving— I can handle myself."
He looks down at the landlord and then back at me, "Yeaaaahh, because that's working out well for you..."
"Oh shut up, I would've been fine after the paralysis wore off..."
I expect another salty remark but he surprisingly doesn't say anything.
He then slams me against the wall in the hallway.
I struggle to break free from his grasp. "W-What do you think you are doing?!" I stammer out with a warming face. It completely caught me off guard and I am flabbergasted.
"You said you can handle yourself so prove it." he says nonchalantly.
I stare at him bewildered. "Are you being serious right now?! Let me go bastard!"
He lets out a breathless chuckle, "And you honestly think that would work in the real world?"
I get ready to head bunt him but he releases me, "Yeah I'm definitely upgrading your security system."
"Huh? I don't even have a security system!"
"My point exactly." he says while swinging my landlord over his shoulder.
I brush myself off, "Hey I don't think I'd want you setting up the security of my home! I literally just met you yesterday!"
"I'm sorry, wasn't it you to keep complaining about me breaking your locks? This is my way of replacing it. Now lead the way."
I scoff and begin walking to my landlord's apartment room. Donatello follows me.
I honestly didn't even know what to say to this dude anymore. Did I want an advanced security system? Yes and no.
It would keep everything protected for sure... except from Donatello. I mean, he already knows about the luminous vermin situation but he doesn't know how I actually get money from all of this. And I'd prefer if it stayed that way too.
When we arrived to the room, Donatello turns to me.
"Watch me switch into locksmith mode..." he says while gesturing to the door lock. He takes out a little tool gadget.
I roll my eyes impatiently, "Watch me switch into FBI mode."
"Federal Bureau of Investigation mode?" he questions.
"FBI OPEN UP!" I scream while kicking down the door.
Donatello stares at me shocked while still processing that. "Okaaaaayy, I guess that's another way to do it..." He tosses away his lock picker gadget and then throws my landlord inside the room. They crash into a bookshelf and it falls on top of them.
I cringe, "Ooo— they are definitely gonna feel that when they wake up..."
"That and a whole pool of regret!" he adds.
We silently stare at the chaos we've created.
Donatello claps his hands together, "Welp, I'm going back to the lair. Wonder if April and my bros are awak— oh shit..."
I turn to him, "What is it?"
"Ugh, I totally forgot to pick everyone up breakfast!"
"Can... can they not fend for themselves?" I ask.
"No it's not that— the mere reason I came out here in the first place was to do specifically that!" he says.
I dart my eyes around, "I'm still not getting why that's a bad thing..."
He looks at me and then to the ground. He opens his mouth to speak but hesitates for a second, "... I usually always stay on task— you're corrupting me!"
I cross my arms and lean against the wall, "Are you saying that I'm distracting you?" I tease. I feel a smirk crawl up my face.
"Agh! No!" he covers his ears— or where his ears would be... "Silence! I shalln't be beguiled by you!" he spits.
I chuckle and walk into my landlords home and head to the kitchen.
He watches me confused, "Why are you...?"
"Helping you stay on task..." I open the freezer and start shuffling things around. I pull out a box of Eggo waffles. "It has been said that weirdos go ballistic over this shit." I toss the box to him and shut the freezer.
He catches it and inspects it. "Ah yes, mass processed food production..." he says sarcastically.
"No— That's the breakfast you will be bringing home for everyone..." I say as I walk out of the room.
"Really (y/n)? Stealing waffles from your unconscious landlord? Don't you think that's a little low even for you?"
Did he really want me to answer that honestly? "Fine! Put them back then jackass!" I retort.
"No. It's a brilliant idea— I love it." he says.
"Wow— you are super fucking hard to read sometimes man..." I say.
"I'll take being unpredictable as a compliment."
I sigh and begin to walk to the staircase with Donatello.
Hopefully the others didn't get involved in something more crazy than us...
———
Whoop whoop another chapter finished ✨ I honestly don't even know how I find the time to be doin all this writing shit. TwT Life is hard but at least I have my comfort turtles 🐢💗
(And yes,, totally snuck in a stranger things reference in cause I'm a sucker for that show too 🧇 )
I honestly didn't expect ppl to read this story— like where did y'all even come from??😭😭
Well, until next time! Good morning/afternoon/night ❣️