A/N: Well, here's a chapter I know you've all been wanting to see for a VERY long time. The return of Car-kun. (Artwork I had commissioned for this chapter will be towards the bottom!)
***
Chapter 80: We've Been Trying To Reach You About Your Car's Extended Warranty
Walking further and further into the slums of earlier, YN and Subaru did so with no real fear.
YN: I guess it was pretty convenient that Rem bashed pretty much any denizen who would have had a bone to pick with us.
Subaru: I kinda hope that doesn't come back around to hurt us. But I do agree, we are lucky that she showed up. Even though I'm used to seeing the twins be so strong, it's still surreal seeing a maid of all things beat up a whole gang of men nearly twice her size.
YN: Isn't she wonderful?
Getting somewhat lost in thought about how both cute and beautiful Rem was, no matter what it seemed she did, Subaru gave YN a look of mild contempt.
Subaru: You're not one of these people who copy that line saying 'I love a woman who can kick my ass,' are you?
Saying that as they rounded a corner, their attention was immediately grabbed by the ruined structure of the former loot house.
Subaru: Wow, it's still like that?
Approaching the collapsed building, it did indeed look like a bomb went off inside. Shrugging, YN answered Subaru in a delayed fashion.
YN: They don't call it 'the slums' for no reason, I guess.
Looking around, the former loot house looked like any of the other ruined buildings that dotted the area of streets and overgrown plazas.
Subaru: When one burns down, or caves in from old age, they just join the ones around it, it seems.
Really beginning to feel the effects of the poverty around him, YN remembered his conversation with Emilia, and how she had described the desperate situation in the Capitol.
I wonder, just how different these Royal Selection candidates are from Emilia? Emilia had to come here to get her insignia back, but would have any of the other candidates come here themselves? Have any of them even seen what this is like?
Having seen the stark differences between here, and the entrance to the Nobles district, YN began to wonder if in addition to her appearance making her a would-be obvious standout in the Royal Selection, if her opinions on what she would do with her power would make her a bigger one.
Watching him kick a few pieces of rubble as they stood by the ruined building, YN posed a question to Subaru.
YN: Subaru, why do you want to help Emilia become King?
Raising a brow to YN, Subaru thought for a second.
Subaru: Oh, that's easy. It's—!
Putting a finger up as if lecturing YN, he was cut off by his audience of one.
YN: —Outside of you thinking she's pretty or that you like her.
Putting his finger down, Subaru put his same hand to his chin in thought. Going to scratch the back of his head, he began to weakly respond.
Subaru: Well, I mean... I guess—
???: If you two wanna stand around and gawk at an old man's retirement plan gone wrong, I'm going to start charging a viewing fee.
Hearing a familiar voice from behind them, the two turned around to see the giant of a man that the voice belonged to.
YN: Ah, Rom-san.
Subaru: Hey old man, you see any bruised up thugs running back to their mommies on the way here?
Rom: Can-it, you. You're going to get every mother of those hooligans with either a rusty frying pan or a shoe in their hands chasing after you if you don't quiet down. And believe me, you'll wish it was their kids coming to whoop your ass instead.
Looking to his left and right, Subaru's demeanor changed from his cocky self-righteous approach to a more reserved one, letting the arm he held up to wave "hello" fall limp.
Pinching the bridge between his two bushy eyebrows, Rom sighed.
Rom: Suns' gonna start going down soon, so let's get this over with.
Turning to walk down the road they were on, the giant gestured for them to follow.
Proceeding just past the loot house, they approached what appeared to be a large, dilapidated barn of sorts, situated next to an equally rundown windmill, missing half of its blades and obviously had not been used in awhile.
Using his strength, the giant opened up the large swinging doors of the barn. Exposing the inside to the light, a cloud of dust hung in the air that was stirred up as a few rats ran out the doorway.
Rom: Damn rats!
Trying in vain to kick one as it scurried by, the giant grumbled in frustration.
Rom: Those traps don't work in the slightest. They just eat the bait and refuse to get caught. Maybe I should try poison...
Putting a hand to his chin in thought, Rom dismissed thinking of it anymore.
Rom: Well, it's in there somewhere.
Taking that as his cue to enter and look for it, YN stepped inside the barn. Squinting his eyes to see through the dust that hung in the air, catching all the light, he looked about, but quickly spotted where it was.
Covered with a cloth, several items were stacked on top of it, and from where it sat, a few crates were blocking it from being driven out.
YN: Umm, Rom-san, I've found it, but there's some stuff in the way.
Replying with a simple "Hmm?" the giant approached the cloaked dragonless carriage.
Simply swiping what was on top off and letting the items hit the ground with a series of clangs and thuds, the old man grumbled more.
Rom: Looks like I'm getting this thing out of there like I got it in, HMPH!
Lifting the car from its side, YN quickly stepped out of his way and let the giant have his room.
Oh this is how he moved it. Thankfully he didn't just try and roll it everywhere.
Backstepping into the open, Rom set the dragonless carriage on the ground, letting the car's suspension creak as it rocked from the drop.
Rom: Sure is heavy for such a small thing. Why would you build a carriage out of metal anyway?
Ignoring his question, YN was more concerned with the item under the cloth. Grabbing the fabric, he pulled the sheet off.
YN: There she is.
Unlike anything else in this world, the car that accompanied him into the world saw the light of day once more. With its chrome bumpers and its dull brown paint, it appeared more out of place then YN had remembered.
Running his hand across the body lines of the vehicle, he checked to see if it had encountered any battle scars in their time separated.
Two headlights, two doors, six windows, and four wheels.
YN: Not a dent at all...
Thankful it had been covered. The old paint, far from its pristine condition it had once been in, remained unscratched and dust free from the protection it had been given.
I wonder if it was Emilia who had requested he cover it. I doubt Rom would have thought to do that.
Placing his hand on the door handle, YN opened it, letting the solid "ker-chunk" of its mechanism fill his ears.
Thankfully I didn't lock the keys inside.
Settling down inside, he put his hands on the wheel and took a deep breath.
Yep, it still smells like an old car.
Looking around, a strong feeling of memories seemed to overwhelm him.
It feels like a lifetime ago since I was last here.
But in reality, it hadn't been even a quarter of a year of his own consciousness, and even less in actual passed time, thanks to Return By Death.
In truth, there was a comforting familiarity that came with being back inside the car, it reminded YN of the world he had been so quick to leave behind.
I guess they'll never get this back, huh?
Recalling that this car was in fact on loan, YN figured there would be people looking for it, and presumably him too, back home. Gripping the wheel a little harder, the material on the wheel squeaked slightly as his hand squeezed it, seeking to expel his ill thoughts.
Rom: Well, is that everything then?
Being brought back to the present by the giant's impatient question, YN put his hands on the keys that remained in the ignition.
YN: Y-Yeah, lemme just check one thing first.
If it doesn't turn over, I'm going to have to ask him to hold onto it for a bit longer... So please... Please work.
Turning the key to this first position, the gauge cluster lit up, and a chime in the cabin sounded, indicating that the battery at the very least still had a charge.
—Please!
Not wasting any time, YN clicked the key to the next spot.
Hearing the whirl of the starter spin, the engine chugged with intent to start. Tapping the gas pedal a few times, the chugs became deeper until finally—
*Chug chug— RUMBLERUMBLErumblerumblerumble...*
YN: Let's go!
Belching out a cloud of exhaust from the rear and hearing the machine roar to life, Rom hadn't exacted this "dragonless carriage" to sound as it did.
Going to take a nervous step back, the giant nearly fell to his feet.
*POP* *POP*
With two loud backfires from the cold engine, the giant feared the worst.
Rom: That thing better not blow up this place too!
Inspecting all his instruments, YN was reassured everything was operating normally.
Sticking his head out the window, YN called to Subaru.
YN: I'm gonna pop the hood.
Simply nodding, Subaru waited for the signature "ka-clang" of the lock being released before he detached the final mechanism and lifted the hood up.
Getting out, YN saw Subaru set the hood up and begin to peer inside.
Subaru: Everything looks in order...
YN: Do you know what you're even looking for?
Giving YN a tilted look, Subaru leaned in more to inspect things closer.
Subaru: Sorta, I guess. My dad was teaching me how to drive before we arrived here, so he showed me what to look for if anything ever gave me a problem.
Hearing a mention of his parents, there was clear somberness to his voice as he said that.
I wonder if seeing this thing is making him feel nostalgic too.
Watching as his wayward traveling companion checked what could only be the coolant reservoir, YN made a realization.
If people are probably waiting for me back the old world, and looking for the car, chances are—
Swallowing hard, YN felt a pang of guilt, having not realized how heavily it was probably weighing on Subaru's mind.
He's gotta be worried sick about his parents, just like they probably are for him.
While YN had no doubt there were some people missing him, he knew that deep down, it wasn't as much as Subaru's parents were missing him.
From what he's told me, he was pretty close to his parents...
Recalling what Subaru had told him in person, YN remembered old times of how he used to know him; by his screen name only. Subaru had chatted with him online, sometimes bringing up the things he and his parents had done together, and how he obviously cherished them.
There was even that time his dad jumped on his account to mess with him.
Being satisfied with his own surface level inspection, Subaru turned to YN, who was laughing to himself and shaking his head.
Subaru: What's so funny?
YN: Oh, nothing. Just thinking about that time your dad logged in as you that one time, since you brought him up.
Shutting the hood, Subaru seemed embarrassed by the memory.
Subaru: Huh, yeah I guess you've technically talked to him too...
Looking away, Subaru still seemed to not think the happening was as amusing as it was to YN.
Subaru: I uhh, thought you would have blocked me after that, with everything he said...
Scratching the back of his head, Subaru's face went slightly red.
YN: Naw, it's like I told you back then, I knew it had to be someone who had hacked you.
Subaru: Yeah and you just went along with it!
YN: The best part was finding out that it was your dad doing it! I nearly died of laughter once he said that.
Pouting, Subaru walked over to the passenger door.
Subaru: The least he did was explain it in the end... I don't know how else I could have explained those things being said. AHHH I don't wanna think about it!!
Pulling his hair at the embarrassment that lingered, Subaru retreated inside the car to sulk.
Rom: Boy, you two talk about things just as strange as this is.
Shutting the barn doors, Rom clapped his hands of the dust that had been picked up by them.
YN: I guess we are an odd bunch, aren't we?
Getting inside, YN rolled his window down more.
YN: Thanks for taking good care of this, Rom-san.
Rom: Yeah yeah, just get out of the slums before it's dark out or you'll get mugged for it.
Deflecting the thanks in the only way he knew how, the giant's hard face let YN know he nonetheless appreciated the kind words.
YN: Will do. See ya.
Shifting the car into drive, YN commanded the car to go forward, and down the road ahead.
Taking his first turn, YN felt an air of freedom he hadn't in a long time.
Time to show this off to Rem!
As the feeling slowly morphed into anticipation, he couldn't help but grin.
I hope she likes it!
***
Standing outside their inn, Emilia and Rem awaited the return of YN and Subaru.
Where they were staying was a nicer part of the Capitol, and while only on a side street, it was very conveniently located where one could access many nearby locations of importance or to a major street where one could get someplace further with ease.
Having just finished their shopping though, Rem and Emilia had yet to go inside.
Emilia: Rem, you can at least set those bags inside. Aren't your arms getting tired from holding them?
Shaking her head, her azure bangs swayed in late afternoon sun.
Rem: Not at all. Rem only wishes to be ready to receive them both once they return.
Confused as to why Rem couldn't for even a moment, set her bags of goods down, it was for her own silly reasons.
Rem unfortunately cannot let Emilia-sama have the first chance to sit in YN-kun's car. That is a trophy for Rem only.
Rem: Perhaps Emilia-sama should rest inside? The sun is quite bright today.
Caught off guard by Rem's reversal, Emilia stuttered on her words.
Emilia: I-I'm only waiting since they promised to be back as soon as they could!
While differing in reason, the two girls both waited on the curved street, like passengers for a bus, for their own, ultimately, silly reasons.
Hearing a rumble coming from past the bend though, both their eyes lit up in excitement. Waiting as it got closer, a carriage with a ground dragon attached to the front yielded them different reactions.
As the half elf slumped her arms, Rem's cheerful anticipation remained, as she looked on at the carriage's driver.
Dressed entirely like herself, Rem's heart beat with admiration and adornment for the girl who's hair shined like a ripe peach in the bright sunlight. Being given a warm smile, Rem approached the halting carriage.
Rem: Nee-sama! Have you returned with Roswaal-sama?
Nodding, her elder sister dismounted the driver's seat, and took one of the bags Rem held.
Ram: Yes, I have. Are these some of the provisions you had sought to acquire while here?
Rem: Rem was able to find everything we wanted, and a few other items that are hard to come across in Arlem.
Closing the bag up, Ram turned around to open the door to the carriage.
Ram: Roswaal-sama, we have arrived.
Opening the door, the man normally dressed in clown garb was sporting his morning suit once more.
Roswaal: So we have, indeed.
Stepping out, he readorned his matching top hat, and looked around.
Roswaal: I only see half of my most esteemed servants present, which means we're missing our two newest additions.
Homing in on Emilia, Roswaal silently posed his question to her.
Emilia: YN was asked to retrieve that 'c-har' of his from the man we were paying to safe keep it. So we've been waiting for them both since Subaru went with him.
Nodding his head and closing his eyes, Roswaal responded.
Roswaal: I see, that was very astute of our YN-kuuuun to so quickly handle his responsibilities.
Rem: YN-kun always does so much to not burden others. He has Rem's utmost faith!
Chiming in with her eyes lit up, Rem took the opportunity to speak boldly about the one who held her heart.
Emilia: He did say though that he thought he'd be back before me and Rem would be though...
Not wishing to see Rem's ambitions go to waste, Ram spoke up in reply, starting with her signature "Hah!"
Ram: Barasu more than likely is responsible for the hold-up. Ram is sure of it.
Somewhat frustrated with the pink-haired maid's irrational judgment of the circumstances, Emilia pouted, but was halted by Roswaal's words.
Roswaal: I do believe that's them nooooow.
At first hearing and seeing nothing, a short second later, a rumble was audible from the same direction that the ground dragon carriage had come from. Yet accompanying the sound of rumbling was another type of rumbling.
Seeing a bright light being projected onto the nearby buildings, it moved as the rumbling drew closer. And poking its head around the bend, was a pair of lights, shining brightly.
Ram: What in the world...?
Emilia: Oh! That's them!
Ram: 'Them?' You mean—?
Halting her own words, Ram looked to her master, as if for confirmation.
In rare fashion, the Margrave lifted his brows in surprise.
Roswaal: My, how interesting these two are.
Approaching them, this small, shiny, metal, dragonless carriage rumbled to a slower pace.
Almost giddy as could be, Rem's knees rocked back and forth in excitement for the machine's fabled arrival, and while Emilia was somewhat familiar with it herself, she had never seen it move under its own power before.
To everyone's surprise though, as the car reached a stop, the undying rumble continued, which to those who were used to seeing and hearing a carriage, seemed odd.
Attempting to park, the four who stood on the side watched as YN guided the self-propelled carriage to a proper spot. With all of them being able to easily see inside, thanks to the window that adorned most of this "carriage's" sides, they saw him look at each of the three mirrors that were placed on it.
Hearing the rumble increase, the "carriage" began to move backwards, and its two front wheels turned to get it at just the right angle. Looking back at its driver to see just how he was able to manipulate it so, they saw him turning a wheel of his own, each rotation and adjustment corresponding to a change in direction the vessel made as it finally came to a true stop.
As the machine "whirled" down, the rumble ceased and the lights on the front of it grew dim until they were no longer illuminated.
Opening their doors, YN and Subaru stepped out to a wide eye'd, curious crowd.
Subaru: Man, you all look like you've all seen a UFO or something.
Ram: Barasu, it's enough for us all to bear witness to... whatever this is, any other strange words and you'll leave our minds steamed like a tatoe.
Stepping around the oddity was YN, who was first to notice that if the blue haired maid wasn't immediately addressed, it was likely she was due to explode.
YN: Well, what do you think?
Breathing in sharply, Rem's eyes sparkled with excitement.
Rem: It's so pretty! A-And shiny!
Seeing her hand extend out towards the metal machine, it trembled with longing.
Rem: May Rem—?
YN: Go for it.
Letting out one tiny gasp of joy, Rem immediately set about running her hands all over the body panels of the car, feeling its smooth, painted finish, and sharp, squared off edges, all of which no one in this world had properly ever seen, or until now, felt before.
Letting the blue haired oni have her fun, YN noticed Roswaal's own share of intrigue in the mystery carriage.
Looking between the metal carriage, powered by what could only be magic to him, and his own, pulled along by what was a "conventional" ground dragon, Roswaal looked to YN, as if seeking an answer.
Roswaal: When Emilia-sama had described what was being saved away was a 'dragonless-carriage,' I was skeptical to say the least, but now...
Expecting some sort of forced explanation on how it worked, it appeared as if the Margrave had other priorities, especially seeing the attention Rem was giving it.
Roswaal: Surely you aren't trying to upstage your employer's own prestige, are you?
Confused for only a second, YN knew what he was getting at.
While their conventional carriage they had arrived at the Capitol in was the height of luxury and ornate design when it came to carriages as a whole, it paled in comparison to his own car. Simply on the merits of its method of motion alone, before one could even account for its design differences, the car outshined even the best ground dragon carriages. But, YN didn't want to disrespect his employer who had paid for this machine's safe stowage.
Fumbling over his words, YN gestured to the carriage his employer had just arrived in.
YN: T-This is brilliant!
Turning the same gesture back to his own car, he continued.
YN: But I like this.
Hoping to maybe curtail any disrespect, but also being sure to voice his own honesty at the comparison to avoid being seen as a suck-up, YN awaited the Margrave's reaction.
Simply finding it amusing, Roswaal waved off any worry he thought YN had.
Roswaal: While I am awfully curious as to how this... metia—, if it can even be called that, functions, I'm afraid I have a strict schedule to keep.
Turning to the pink haired maid who watched her younger sister continue to caress the metal edges and shiny chrome bits of trim with almost air of jealousy, Roswaal addressed her.
Roswaal: Ram, please wait here, I only need to speak with the innkeeper and gather a few documents and then you may depart.
Taking a split second to reply, Ram bowed, but did not take her eyes off the car.
Ram: Y-Yes Roswaal-sama.
Continuing to find it amusing that even Ram was enthralled in this, Roswaal chuckled to himself before heading inside.
With their employer gone, all formality and restraint was released, and a torrent of questions were unleashed.
Rem: YN-kun! YN-kun! How does the car work?!
Emilia: I'm curious too, is it a spirit? Or do you use your own mana?
Rem: YN-kun can Rem sit inside of it?!
Emilia: How do you control it? Is it hard?
Subaru: Hey, what are you going to do about fuel?
Emilia: Fuel? Does it take mana crystals to operate then?
Rem: Can YN-kun show Rem how to make it move?!
YN: Eh, uh, I—
Being barraged with question after question, YN wasn't sure at all how to respond.
But, approaching the car and poking her finger directly at the glass, towards the back, Ram calmly asked an intuitive question.
Ram: What are all these strange items in the rear?
YN: 'Strange items?'
With everyone seeing a look of concern on his face, they parted away to allow YN to look for himself.
Did Rom-san figure out how to open it and put some of his wares inside?
Looking inside, YN saw nothing of significance.
YN: Oh, that's just all my stuff... —!
Wait a second!
Realizing what that meant, YN fumbled the keys out of his pocket and quickly lifted the back hatch of the car.
YN: That's all my stuff!
Giving him a weak look, Subaru shook his head.
While it wasn't much, it was all there.
Before he had ended up being isekai'd to this new world, the world he now considered home, YN had been traveling to a place where he thought he'd get his new beginning, and in doing so, had brought anything he had deemed necessary to bring.
YN: My clothes!
Holding up a hoodie, Rem quickly snatched it from his hands.
Giving the oni a quick look of question, she responded by holding it tighter, a sign that she wasn't going to give it up.
Rem: R-Rem just wishes to inspect this is all... YN-kun has other things to look through, doesn't he?
With a hint of defensiveness in her voice, YN knew she was correct. Sliding more of his clothes to the side, he focused on digging into his pile of belongings. As he did so, Rem held the hoodie to her face, fully smothering herself and taking a deep breath through it.
Sighing at her younger sister's infatuation, Ram decided to also approach the hatch of the car and peer inside.
Ram: What would that be?
YN: What's what?
Not being able to tell what she was pointing towards, Ram grabbed the object that caught her attention.
Removing the flat, square rectangle from beneath a packed box, she haphazardly looked over the glossy black object, and seeing a hinge, she acted.
Opening it, was a surface covered in small ridges, each with a small symbol on them, as if they were runes, and on the adjoining surface was another black surface, but less smooth in texture.
Recognizing the item, YN was surprised he had forgotten about it.
YN: Oh hey, that's my—
Subaru: Laptop!!
Snatching the device from Ram, Subaru's eyes lit up brightly at seeing the device.
Subaru: Does it work?!
Taking the device, Subaru retreated to sit on the curb with the device on his lap.
YN: Hey, that's not yours!
Pulling away the laptop from his grasp, Subaru gave his fellow traveling companion a wry smile.
Subaru: Oh ho ho, are you afraid I'll find something?
YN: That's not—!
Subaru: Any adult websites?
YN: Tch—! I don't—!
Quickly removing her face from being smothered in the scent of YN via his hoodie, Rem's face emerged as pink as could be with a shocked expression, knowing what the familiar term was.
Being the only two left out, Emilia and Ram gave each other confused looks as well.
Ram: Hasn't Barasu brought that up before?
Emilia: I think he did. Subaru, can we also see what these are?
Hearing his cute and pure Emilia asking to be exposed to such profane things, Subaru shook his head rapidly.
Subaru: Ahh! Emilia-tan shouldn't be corrupted! I won't let it happen!
Ram: 'Corrupted?' YN, what are these 'Adult Websites?' you both keep speaking about? Does it have anything to do with that device? Does Ram need to be sure to keep Rem away from it?
YN: There's no—!
Rem: Nee-sama, allow Rem to explain what they are!
Snapping back to the blue haired maid, YN gave her a stare of betrayal.
Catching the look, Rem held her tongue from speaking further.
Rem: —Ep!
Subaru: Ugh! The thing won't even turn on!
Attempting to try everything, the laptop in question refused to be powered on.
Emilia: Umm, maybe we can take it to a workshop of some kind? Unless it's another metia...
Flipping the device over, Subaru began inspecting more things on it, removing what little panels he could by hand.
Subaru: I need a screwdriver...
Emilia: Oh, there's some small tools under the carriages driver's seat, we can try those!
Subaru: Emilia-tan to the rescue! Emilia, Major—ack!
Having his foot stepped on by the pink haired maid, she gave Subaru a look of contempt.
Ram: Barasu, everything is currently in order for Ram to depart. If you're going to rifle through the carriage, Ram will have to supervise in order to assure you don't ruin anything.
Subaru: Ugh, fine, fine.
With Emilia, Subaru, and Ram preoccupied with other things, Rem and YN were left alone at the hatch of his car.
Gently folding his hoodie back up, Rem placed it back inside the car.
YN: You get your fill on that?
Poking fun at her obsession with his own scent, Rem nodded with a bright smile.
Rem: Yes, but Rem will be sure to inspect each of the other articles of clothing as well.
Sighing, he gave her blue hair a few head pats of praise. While it certainly wasn't normal, her affection, bordering on obsession, did admittedly make him special.
If it was anyone else, I'd be weirded out. But since it's Rem, I guess it's fine...
Getting a hold of herself finally though, Rem stepped in close and looked upon all his belongings.
Rem: All of this is from another world then, isn't it?
YN: Yep. Seems like everything in the car, including me, got brought here.
Flipping over a few trinkets, Rem spotted something else familiar.
Rem: Oh, Subaru-kun had brought back something similar to this as well, correct?
Hearing the long lost sound of a crinkling plastic bag, YN had seen Rem had found the bag of snacks he had bought only shortly before he had arrived in this world.
YN: Huh, there they are.
Setting the bag aside, Rem had continued to look through the treasure trove of foreign and exotic goods until—
Rem: More shiny metal.
Pulling out a red box from underneath everything, it wasn't an item YN had remembered initially packing, or ever noticing before. Yet, he knew exactly what it was.
YN: No way...
Rolling one of the one of the "shiny metal" items from the box, Rem inspected it in greater detail.
Rem: So many tiny letters... Can YN-kun read all these?
YN: Yeah I can. I'm just surprised this was in there... It must be from before I got loaned this car.
Looking inside the box, two more of the objects remained, freely rolling about.
Round, and with silver tops and bottoms, YN set them out on the roof of his car.
Shining brilliantly in the sunlight, their red hue and stark, white symbols adorned each can in the most signified, recognizable way that was possible.
Everyone, and that means, everyone from his and Subaru's old world knew exactly what these were.
YN: Three cans of Cola...
Rem: Co-la?
Knowing he had to share these, YN called out.
YN: Hey Subaru! You'll never guess what I just found!
Awaiting a response, two other heads popped around the carriage to see what the commotion was about.
Emilia: Subaru seems too wrapped up in trying to get that... thing to work.
Coming over to see what it was YN was calling out over, Ram followed the half-elf, arms crossed.
YN: He, uh, is he making any progress?
Asking about the laptop he had snatched away, Ram answered by shaking her head.
Ram: Ram is unsure. Barasu decided to use a knife instead for his repairs.
YN: A knife?!
Worried about him hurting his property, Ram elaborated further.
Ram: I've never seen fixtures so... small.
Pinching her fingers to show just how small these things were, YN knew what she had meant now, and why Subaru was using a knife of all things.
YN: The screws... Yeah they're pretty tiny. He better not lose 'em.
Realizing just how determined Subaru was, the subject quickly changed to the three cans that sat upon the roof of YN's car.
Emilia: Is that what you called Subaru over for?
Seeing the half-elf gesture towards them, an idea sprung into YN's head.
YN: Yeah, they are. Say, Emilia, would you give me a hand with them?
Emilia: O-Oh! Sure!
Just being happy to be involved, Emilia nodded and stepped forward. Taking the three cans, YN handed them off to the silver haired girl, who upon receiving them, hadn't thought so far ahead as to what she should be doing with them.
Emilia: Um, now what?
YN: Right, I need you to make them cold. Not frozen, just cold.
Emilia: O-Okay, I can try. Sure.
Closing her eyes, Emilia focused on using her magic to lower the temperature of the times she held.
Seeing beads of condensation begin to form and drip down the side of the red cans, upon seeing it freeze into a frost, YN signaled their readiness.
YN: That's perfect, right there.
Handing him the cans back, Emilia awaited further instructions.
YN: Alright, Rem, you get to be the first to try one.
Seeing her eyes light up upon hearing that, Rem took the offered can with much delight.
YN: The trick is, get your finger under that little tab, and press it down into that indentation, and the top will open up.
Nodding with enthusiasm, Rem did just as YN mimicked.
After a small amount of careful moves to get everything right, Rem lifted up and—
*Pop!*
Rem: Haa!
Holding the can away from her in reaction, Emilia and Ram both took a step back as they saw the haze of gas rise out of the can, in its place small little droplets of water seemed to jump out of the small opening, and a distinct "ticking" noise could be heard echoing out of the narrow metal hole.
Rem: W-What now?
Miming what she should do with one of the unopened cans, YN showed exactly what these mystery items finally were.
YN: Just take a drink!
Cupping her hands around the can, Rem realized who it was saying it. Knowing she should never doubt him, and knowing she had no reason to ever mistrust him, Rem confidently placed the can to her lips, and let the carbonated beverage enter her delicate mouth.
Getting a mouthful, Rem quickly removed the can, eyes wide, and swallowed her drink.
Rem: Whaash!
Potentially taking this as a negative connotation, Ram immediately frowned at YN.
Ram: YN, that bubbling isn't because it's fermented, correct?
YN: Correct. It's just 'fizzy.'
Emilia: So then is it boiling? We cooled it down, did I not make it cold enough?
YN: Nope, it just does that. Now Rem—
Rem: Fwahh!
Having taken another large sip, Rem had bravely gone ahead on her own to have more.
YN: It must be good then?
Nodding her head, Rem had elaborated.
Rem: The taste is unlike anything Rem has ever had before. It's different but very sweet, but the texture of all the bubbles keeps it from being overwhelming! Rem very much enjoys this... umm?
YN: Cola.
Rem: Coh-la!
Taking another small sip, YN turned to Emilia, who was practically staring a hole in one of the other two cans he still held.
YN: You wanna try too?
Emilia: I-If it's alright...
Naturally being too shy to ask for a share, YN offered one to Emilia.
Copying Rem, Emilia opened the can, and while also being startled by the noise it made upon being breached, Emilia took a sip of beverage inside.
Emilia: Wha?!
Shutting one eye, Emilia forced the drink she had down before caressing her cheek.
Emilia: It's so sweet it hurts almost! And the bubbles in it didn't feel... right.
Offering the can back, the half-elf gave YN a weak look.
Emilia: I'm sorry, but it's just too much.
Trying to be as nice as he could, YN smiled at her, taking the open can back.
YN: No harm done, at least you tried it.
Rem: Nee-sama!
Holding her almost halfway empty can out to her beloved older sister, Rem of course wished only Ram to share the experience with her.
Rem: Try some with Rem!
Had Rem perhaps asked only before Emilia had rejected the beverage, she might have obliged, but rather—
Ram: Ram will have to decline. While she takes your word for how good they are, I'd rather you enjoy it.
Rem: Nee-sama... Please?
Giving her younger sister a weak look in reply to her plea, YN decided to act in order to help Rem. Handing Ram the last can, she looked at him with confusion.
Ram: Really, Ram is content not having any.
YN: This one won't be for you.
Confused as to what he meant, both the twins tilted their heads in question.
YN: If I help you play a good enough prank on Subaru, will you at least try some of Rem's?
Looking at the offered can, Ram looked back up at YN, as if wondering how such a thing could be possible.
Ram: Just what does this entail?
YN: All you've gotta do is shake this up really good and hand it to Subaru. As long as he's the one to open it, nothing bad will happen to you. —Just don't let him see you shaking it. He'll never expect it from you.
Giving it an extra moment of thought, Ram grabbed the can.
Ram: Only if this is amusing enough, will Ram try some of Rem's.
YN: So it's a deal?
Ram: A deal, it is.
Looking at the can in her hand for a moment, Ram violently shook it, up and down.
Ram: Is this sufficient?
YN: Should be, yeah.
Ram: Good.
With an evil smile forming in her face, Ram cleared her throat and with that, reset her expression.
Ram: Barasu, come here immediately.
Hearing some shuffling around, the black haired boy stumbled out from the carriage, laptop in hand.
Subaru: Nee-sama? What's the matter?
Ram: Only Rem can, — Only Rem and YN may refer to Ram that way. You should only refer to me as Ram-sama.
Subaru: Yeah yeah, if this is something important then— what is—?
Halting his words, Ram forcibly put the can into Subaru's free hand.
Subaru: Hk—?! How did—?! What?!
Looking at the unmistakable item in his hand, Subaru was at a complete loss of words.
Looking around, Subaru's eyes darted about. To the hood of YN's car, where Emilia's rejected one sat, back to his hand, to the one Rem held, back to his hand, to the empty box on the ground.
Subaru: Was this what you were trying to get me out here for?!
Speaking with great shock to YN, he shrugged in reply.
YN: I told you, you wouldn't believe it.
Looking back at the can in his hands, Subaru looked it over.
Subaru: It's cold...
Emilia: That was my doing.
Subaru: O-Oh Emilia-tan! Did you try some?!
Emilia: Yes... I wasn't a very big fan of it...
Afraid she'd be judged harshly for it, Subaru instead held his hand up to his chin.
Subaru: Hmm, yes, that might be for the better. I would hate to see you become a caffeine addicted jitter head. Although that might be cute...
Rem: Addicted? 'Calf-een?'
Speaking softly to YN, Rem inquired what that meant. Whispering to her to calm her, YN rationalized it.
YN: It's the same stuff in Tea or Coff that wakes you up. Don't worry about it.
Nodding in reply to what YN knew, Rem took another small sip of her can, unafraid of the scary terms Subaru was boasting about so long as YN said it was okay.
Ram: Well then, you should be sure to have some so Emilia-sama doesn't have anymore.
Subaru: I would but—
Rejecting the offered can, Subaru shook his head and sat down on the curb of the street and sidewalk.
Subaru: I wanna finish getting this fixed, I'm close. Besides, it's too cold for me, so I'll let it sit for a while.
Being shot down on all fronts, YN stepped back in, determined to get Rem to smile by having Ram try some of hers. And the only way to do that, was to get Subaru to open the can himself, completing the prank and deal Ram had agreed to.
YN: Oh don't tell me you're one of those weirdos who drink this stuff at room temperature.
Subaru: Hey, I don't gotta— Oh! Oh!!
Seeing his face light up, it wasn't his expression, but rather an actual light from in front of him. From the laptop.
Subaru: It works! It was just a loose battery!
Frantically mashing the keys, Ram in part was annoyed by his rejection, thus rejecting the prank, and his esteemed overjoyment of the silly light up box he now had.
Ram: Barasu, if you don't try this drink now, Ram will pour it all over you.
Subaru: Wha—?! Nee-sama, why—?
Ram: Now, or else Ram will make good on her threat.
Further upset to be called "Nee-sama" again by Subaru, he reluctantly took the can.
Subaru: Fine, fine. Now then, it doesn't look like this bad boy has any password on it. Time to see what YN is hiding—
*Pop!*
Opening the can mid-sentence, Subaru had been too preoccupied looking at the screen to even fathom what was about to happen next.
*Fooosh!*
Subaru: —Gah!!
Getting a facefull of Cola, Subaru instinctively blocked the stream of fizz rocketing towards his face with his hand. Unfortunately for him though, where he was directing it to while in this stunned state was—
Subaru: Ah no no no!!
Covering the laptop and its keyboard with a half a can or more of Cola, the device shut back down suddenly and with a sharp "whirl" as it did.
Pressing the power button over and over again, it was all in vain. The prestigious piece of technology was as dead as rock.
With Emilia, YN, and Rem all finding the display amusing, Ram also giggled, signifying that the deal was complete.
Drooping his shoulders in defeat, Subaru quickly perked back up and pointed at YN.
Subaru: You!
Sarcastically pointing at himself, YN replied.
YN: Me?
Grumbling, Subaru continued to pout rather than voice any continued argument. Taking a rag from his back pocket, he tried blotting the device to no avail, perhaps if only to satisfy his own ego that all the time he spent trying to get it to work couldn't all be for not.
Approaching her younger, blue haired sister, Ram spoke.
Ram: A deal is a deal.
Handing the can over, Ram took a sip.
Ram: Hmm... Ram must agree with Emilia-sama. This concoction is much too sweet.
Emilia: Yeah, it also kinda made my tummy hurt a bit— *burb!*
Covering her mouth, Emilia's face and pointed ears immediately turned a stark shade of red.
Subaru: Emilia-tan?! Did you just—?
Emilia: I—! Uh! Please excuse—!
Slamming back the rest of the can after grabbing it back from her sister, Rem wasn't about to be out done.
Rem: *Burb!*
With everyone giving a wide eyed look to Rem, she also garnered a flushed face like Emilia.
Rem cannot believe she just did that!
Subaru: Sheesh, Rem, did you get any on yourself?
Emilia: That was rather well impressive...
Hearing mixed results, the blue haired girl looked to YN, as if expecting a reprimand or potentially some comfort.
YN: That was uhh... very unlike you.
Normally Rem will always put on her prim and proper attitude and disposition of formality, but this is a complete break from that, especially in front of Emilia...
Ram: Ram must agree with YN.
Rem: Nee-sama...
Fearing a harsh judgment from Ram, her sister crossed her arms and began a lecture.
Ram: Rem, while Ram is sure you would have been more concerned with your own action had Roswaal-sama been present, to do so casually in front of Emilia-sama carries just as much, if not more pressure to keep up with our responsibilities. Is that under—*burp.*
Having caught her by surprise, Ram halted her own words as the same symptom of the carbonated beverages that had snuck up on Emilia also now made her its victim.
While everyone now giggled at Ram, she turned her tsundere-like displeasure to YN, the arbiter of this entire debacle.
Ram: Ram would have you know she severely detests these beverages. They taste like liquid candy and only exist to embarrass others through surprise or by compromising their composure.
Looking away from them all, Ram skulked while Rem regained her composite and began to feel more comfortable now that she wasn't the only one guilty here.
Rem: Emilia-sama, Rem and Nee-sama would like to express our apologies for our behavior.
Waving it off while her face continued to become less red, Emilia didn't want to be the only one placed on a pedestal.
Emilia: There's nothing to apologize for. I think we're all even now, at the very least.
Subaru: But you're forgetting one man!
Giving up on the laptop, Subaru stood from where he was.
Subaru: I will show you all how a real champion NEET belches! YN, a can if you would.
Looking around, YN quickly realized there were no longer any cans of the fabled "Cohl-La."
Rem has finished hers, the one meant for Subaru was entirely on the ground, and any left in his can was flat. The only bit that remained left was—
Emilia: Oh, Subaru, you can have the rest of mine if you want. I didn't have much...
Going to hand the can to him after she had set it on the roof of YN's car, while it had been opened, it was far from having all of its fizz gone.
Receiving the can, Subaru could only stare at it with a bead of sweat running down his face.
Subaru: Emilia-tan... You drank from this?
Emilia: Yes. Is that a problem? Maybe YN had another he can give you—
Snatching the can just as she was about to take it away, Subaru's hand shook as he held the sacred artifact.
Subaru: No, none at all! Thank you Emilia-tan!
Knowing exactly what Subaru was after, YN was not keen on stopping him, and neither were the twins.
An indirect kiss with Emilia-tan! All my suffering from today will finally be worth it—!
???: Hey! I wanna try too!
Rushing in and swooping the can away from Subaru, only fractions of a second from getting his taste of heaven, a gray blur had filled his vision.
Subaru: —Ack!
Looking above him, floating just out of reach, was the little cat that was Emilia's contracted spirit.
Puck: I think it's only fair I get a chance to try it too, right Lia?
Nodding, the half-elf seemed happy that Puck was joining in on the fun too.
Emilia: Yeah. Maybe you'll like it.
Subaru: Emilia-tan?!
Completely awestruck that Emilia had just denied him what he had looked so forward to, Subaru once again had his advances thwarted by the little cat.
Puck: Bottoms up!
Treating the can like a barrel his own height, Puck chugged down the remainder of the can, finishing with a huge "Phaw!"
Pounding his little chest with his paw, he readied himself.
Puck: Now then... Now!
Rearing back, Puck let out the mightiest of burbs to be had.
Puck: *BURP!* Oh! Pardon me!
Having been outdone on burping and having his indirect kiss with Emilia denied, Subaru slumped his shoulders in pure defeat.
Subaru: I just can't win for losing.
Boasting in the light of his achievement, Puck's victory was cut short by the return of Roswaal.
Roswaal: Myyyyyyy it looks like everyone is having quite the time without me.
Turning to greet him, the twins quickly straightened themselves out.
Rem & Ram: Roswaal-sama.
Handing what appeared to be a folder of documents over to Ram, she accepted them and bowed.
Roswaal: Ram, I trust everything is ready for your departure?
Ram: Almost, Ram would only need to sort a few items and securely store them away.
Roswaal: Very good. You may just set those papers on my study desk upon your return, I will handle them later.
Ram: As you wish, Roswaal-sama.
Returning to the ground dragon carriage, Ram went about straightening things up. Turning to Emilia, Roswaal also spoke to her.
Roswaal: Emilia-sama, there are a few local lords and notable people I'd wish for you to meet before tomorrow's conference. They've invited us to a dinner in the merchants hall tonight.
Emilia: Okay, I understand.
Not entirely enthusiastic about the idea, Emilia turned to Rem, Subaru, and YN.
Emilia: I don't want any more shenanigans out of you two, especially you, Subaru.
Subaru: Wha—?! Emilia-tan!
Emilia: Rem, could you please set up a lesson plan for Subaru to occupy his time? Something to help his literacy skills. If he completes it I'll give him a special treat.
Turning to the blue haired maid with her request, Rem bowed.
Rem: Yes, Emilia-sama.
Emilia: Thank you. And YN—
Suddenly changing her tone to one much lighter when addressing him, Emilia began to fidget slightly with the sleeves of her dress.
Emilia: Would you be interested in attending the dinner with—
Ram: Emilia-sama.
Coming back into the circle of conversation, Ram called out from around the carriage.
Emilia: R-Ram? Is everything alright?
Ram: Ram would like to request YN's assistance in readying the carriage and navigating out of the city.
Emilia: O-Oh, of course. YN.
YN: On it.
Confirming his orders to Emilia, Ram had managed to steal YN away from her, and created a situation to invalidate her invitation to attend this lordly dinner event with her.
Waving goodbye to Rem, she smiled brightly at the idea of YN helping Ram, and thought nothing more of the exchange.
Why would Ram ask for help? And needing help navigating out of the Capitol? That doesn't seem like her at all...
Following the pink haired oni behind the carriage, Ram stopped him.
YN: So what is it you need help with—?
Ram: Hush.
Putting her finger over YN's mouth to quiet him, the two waited in silence. As Rem and Subaru headed inside the inn, Emilia and Roswaal departed down the street. As the Merchant's hall was only around the corner, it was one of the many key locations the inn was situated by.
With everyone gone, Ram turned to YN.
Ram: Please accompany Ram on the drivers bench.
Closing up the carriage, Ram took her seat, and YN followed. Getting on, YN had a clue as to what was going on.
YN: Thanks for getting me out of having to tell Emilia-sama 'no.'
Ram: Had Ram not done so, Rem surely would have burst with jealousy.
Raising a brow to that, YN silently inquired more on that.
Ram: Rem wants nothing more than to experience that... dragonless carriage with you, it seems.
Perhaps picking up on her younger sister's desire either through sisterly intuition, or their combined Synchronization, YN was finally clued in.
YN: Ya know, I bet it's because I promised her I'd take her for a drive.
Ram: There is your answer then.
Proceeding around a corner onto a main street, the two remained silent until YN questioned Ram further.
YN: Nee-sama, I'm smart enough to know you don't need help with getting out of the city, so what gives?
Ram: You are exactly right. Ram is able to find her way all by herself.
YN: So then—?
Ram: Ram is going to be away for a few days at the very least, and she needed an opportunity to properly thank you.
YN: Um, what for?
Turning the carriage back down another side street, Ram elaborated.
Ram: Seeing our overly casual interaction in regards to that accursed beverage, it made Ram realize just how much your intervention in Rem's life has allowed her to be more honest with the world around her.
Thinking about what that meant, YN replied after a brief pause.
YN: You're saying Rem has come more out of her shell?
Ram: Precisely. While it was entirely within Ram's own predictions for Rem to act more like herself around you, someone who is not her Nee-sama, for her to act that way around others, especially so soon, was far outside my own scope of belief.
Giving YN a rare, soft look, Ram closed her eyes, and bowed her head.
Ram: Thank you, YN, for giving safe harbor to Rem's heart.
Offering her sincerest thanks, Ram returned to her driving duties.
Ram: While it saddens Ram that she will no longer get to monopolize Rem's own adorableness and pure heart any longer, I was forced to make peace with this long ago when I asked you to be the one Rem could lean on. Rem is more happy than her Nee-sama alone could ever hope to make her, and that is all from your own efforts.
YN: Ram...
Caught completely off by Ram's praises, she continued.
Ram: It is evident by what happened with the mansion's intruder while the rest of us were gone, that not only do you care for her, but you're also willing to defend her, and go as far as to ensure her honor. Ram could not have hoped for a better person to become the one to hold Rem' heart.
Rounding another corner, this street was familiar to YN, but as he concentrated on what Ram was saying, he thought little of where they were going.
Ram: So please, continue to take good care of her. Things are much better for her now, but as her Nee-sama, Ram can tell there's at least still one crucial step for you both to take before any more progress can be made.
YN: What is that?
Shaking her pink hair, Ram smiled.
Ram: If Ram told you that, that step may never come to its complete fruition. All I can say is that it's an issue that lies deep within her own complicated, maiden heart.
Rem's 'complicated, maiden heart...'
Letting the phrase echo around in his head, the carriage suddenly came to a stop.
YN: Huh?
Realizing where he was, YN saw the familiar sight that was the inn.
We're back.
Ram: Now then. Ram believes you may have a 'date' to attend to.
Gesturing across the street from where they had stopped, was YN's car.
But upon his car, sitting as gently as she could, was Rem, patiently awaiting their return, as if she knew they would be back.
With her hands on the hood, she leaned gently on the grill of the car.
She really is beautiful...
As a gentle breeze found its way down the street, Rem's azure hair, the hue of blue that always calmed his heart and satisfied his mind, swayed gently in the wind as she looked off as if in deep thought, not fully realizing they were nearby.
'Rem's complicated maiden heart...'
Wondering just what the precious maid was thinking so intensely about, Ram spoke to YN one last time as he disembarked from the ground dragon carriage.
Ram: Please, continue to take good care of Rem, but also—
Hearing Ram pause for a second, he looked back up at her.
Ram: Please take care of yourself as well.
Giving her a wide eyed look, Ram knew he sought a reason for her words.
Ram: Admittedly, with how precious YN is to Rem, he can only be that same way towards Ram herself in a different kind of way. Especially since there is no going back at this juncture between him and Rem.
In a backhanded way, noting that Rem and YN were now a "package deal" of sorts in her own heart, he felt a strong sense of honor coming from that.
YN: Like always, I'll do my very best with her.
Ram: Ram has no fear that Rem would never allow you to aspire to less.
Seeing them clearly as she was dragged out of her own thoughts, Rem smiled brightly over them.
YN: Have a safe trip, Nee-sama.
Simply nodding in reply, Ram ordered the ground dragon onward.
Walking over and wrapping herself around his arm, Rem nuzzled her face against him until Ram was out of sight.
Rem: If Rem did not have her YN-kun, she fears how lonely she'd become being separated from Nee-sama for so long...
Giving the oni a hug back, YN reassured her.
YN: It'll only be for a little bit. Until then, let's try and be as happy as we can, okay? I'll make sure you have tons to talk about with her once everyone is back together.
Pointing over to the car, Rem looked longingly at YN.
Rem: Can one of those things be our adventures in the car?
YN: It sure can.
Taking her by the hand, YN led Rem for a change, if only for a short distance, to the machine that should not exist in this world.
***
A/N: There's the car! The artwork is a commission of mine by @XuanWoo_ on twitter. (Really great artist, they makes lots of great Re:Zero artwork.)
I do have a bit of a challange for you all however; whoever can first correctly name what this car is based off of, will get a shoutout on the next chapter release. (Hint!: Its star related! To keep in theme of Re:Zero naming many things on stars.)