George POV
"Clay?" i said meanwhile i knew what was going on. the way it sounded told me that he just threw up blood.
"I'm alright." he says as he stands up again. nick quickly calls someone to clean the mess and we sit down again.
"i should stop drinking so much." dream laughs "you should stop taking heroin." nick says.
"shut up! I'll stop, don't worry." dream laughs it off "we will see about that.." nick says annoyed, out of nowhere.
"you take it yourself dude! don't tell me to stop doing suff that you do!" Dream say, also getting annoyed.
"I'm not addicted to it like you are!" nick yells "what the fuck is wrong with you now?!" dream yells.
"wow. guys, calm down." Alex says, but gets ignored.
"you're going to die soon if you don't stop!" nick shouts "you really wanna discuss this shit in front of George and Alex?" dream says.
"yeah! no, wonder why George left you! you can't even control yourself from all the shit you take!" is all nick could say before getting punched in the face.
"wow! chill out!" i say as i stand up.
"don't say something like that!" i say to nick, meanwhile he holds his cheek. "and you, chill out." i say to dream.
"ugh, i'm out of here." he says as he takes his cigarettes out of his pocket. "yeah, now go and smoke one! that's how you run away from your problems, fucking junky!" nick shouts after him.
"chill out!" i say.
"go to Clay, i'll help nick." Alex says and i walk out of the club. I see dream throwing his cigarette to the ground and nervously going through his hair.
"you alright?" i ask as i walk over to him, "yeah, i'm sorry for that. I don't know why nick is being like that." he says after turning around to face me.
"it's alright." i say as i look to his hand where the cigarettes are. "well, i relapsed with almost everything since you left." he laughs.
"I'm sorry." Is all i could say "it's not your fault." he laughs "it's my own. I still was in my teenager years and stupid."
"I thought that i would look cool if i relapsed just because you broke up with me. Obviously i don't look cool." he laughs.
"i could help you to get clean again." i say "i don't think it's possible for me to get clean again. It's basically impossible for me to stop. the only thing i can do now, is wait for my death."
"there's surely another way." i say, dream laughs. "you still don't know anything about that suff." he says.
"i don't. i know."
"do you even want to get clean again?" i ask him "of course i do. I'm trying to, but it's not that easy."
"to get therapy it's way too expensive. so i have to figure out a way without spending too much money on it." he tells me.
i stay quiet, cause i ran out of questions.
suddenly a blond girl stares at me. I look confused at her and she walks up to us. "hey Clay." she kisses him on the cheek.
"Lezabel? what are you doing here?" he asks as he wipes his cheek, not letting her see it.
"i wanted to know if i can sing in nicks club?" she asks.
"i didn't ask him." dream tells her "oh."
"well that's-" dream wants to introduce me to her, but she cuts him off.
"George Lee. your ex-boyfriend from Highschool." she says "you guys know each other?" dream asks a little shocked.
"no, it's the first time i'm seeing her." i say confused. "huh? from where do you know George and how do you know that he's my ex-boyfriend?" dream asks.
"I've my ways." is all she said after turning around and walking into the club. Both of us look confused after her.
"that's a little scary." i say.
"yeah.."
"who's that?", "your cousin?" i ask "no, that's a friend of mine. she's nice, but i'm telling you. she's really stupid." dream laughs.
"should we go back in?" i ask "yeah, lets go inside." he says after letting out a sigh. That's when he walked inside the club and saw nick talking with Lezabel, i think her name was.
after a few more minutes of talking she turns around and comes over to us. "Clay, i'm going to sing now! could you watch me from right there?" she asks.
"yeah sure." he says and leaves. then she turns around to me. "you should also listen very carefully." she says with a weird smile and looks up and down at me, before leaving.
she walks up to the DJ and puts on a beat, that is really good to be honest. Lezabel walks to the front while she holds her mic in front her mouth and starts to sings.
breakfast - dove cameron
I look over to Dream that is leaning himself against the wall and watching her. she smiles into her tones.
her eyes are on dream while she makes cute faces and moves her body to the beat. then she walks more to the right and looks at me.
not with a cute face or something like that. no, her face looks serious. she looks creepy as she sings the words:
"I eat boys like you for breakfast
One by one hung on my necklace
And they'll always be mine
It makes me feel alive"
she knees herself down and smirks at me.
"I eat boys like you for breakfast
And I know that you tried your bestest
I never said it's right
But I'm gonna keep doing it"
she stands up again and walks to the left side, her back straight while she sings out the words:
"I'm sick, yeah, I'm sick
And honestly, I'm getting high off it"
she looks back to dream.
what a psychopath..
the crowd hyping her up as she starts to do 'sexy' dance moves. even tho she's wearing high heals, she can jump with them.
i always asked myself how girls can do that. I mean, when i was little i tried them on and almost broke my fucking neck.
she look over to me again and gives me the, what the girls call, bitch look. she looks up and down at me, when she reaches my face she makes a disgusted face.
i let out a laugh as i look around me. my eyes went to dream and i see how he starts yawning. guess it's really boring.
even tho it's not really a song to dace to it, people start to dance with each other. jumping around while their arms are up in the air.
suddenly two people grab my arm and pull them up as they start to jump around. they scream, trying to get the lyrics right.
Lezabel enjoy the attention, but that doesn't stop her from looking at me. she keeps staring at me when the words "i eat boys like you for breakfast." come up.
i guess she's one of them.
what i mean with 'them' is that she's in love with dream, but they aren't in a relationship. She's jealous, i guess, that the guy she likes talked to his ex.
what is understandable, but singing the song like that? I don't know...
"George!" i hear dream suddenly next to me "you like the song?" he asks. "It's not bad!" i say as i look to Lezabel again.
"don't you wanna dance?" he asks "nah, i don't feel this song. It's not like- it's not giving me the dance vibes. you understand?"
he nods with a smile on his face.
the song also comes to an end.
Lezabel thanks the crowd and make her way down. "you liked it?" she suddenly stands right behind dream.
"it was good, yeah." he smiles "i'm gonna be right back." he says to Lezabel and shows me to come outside.
I look at her and she quickly turns around and walks away. that's how i make my way outside to dream, where i find him smoking.
"sometimes she's really annoying dude." he laughs, instead of saying something i just let out a small, quiet laugh.
I look at his left hand, that is trembling right now. "you alright?" i ask "yeah? why're you asking?"
"your hand." i point at his left hand. "oh. it's nothing." he says with a smile and hides his hand behind his back.
"i actually have to go now. I've to work today and i need some sleep." i laugh "yeah, of course. Good night." he says.
"Good Night." i say before turning around and walking away.
I guess he really wants to get clean. However, the question is whether he is capable of getting clean.
If he really did relapsed on the last day of school, what i believe, then he's taking heroin again for two years.
two years + three years are exactly five years.
so he's taking heroin for five years with a two year 'break' in between.
Dream stared taking heroin with fourteen. he was always involved in problems, with the police and without them.
his parents didn't really care. sadly his dad also had an addiction to heroin and died when dream was sixteen.
his mom.. meh.
his mom is an alcoholic and never home. none of them really talked to dream. he had to teach himself everything on his own and take care of the family.
After all, he had a little sister that he had to take care of and also teach her important things.
dreams live never was easy. he had all the burden on his back, even tho he was just a child.
he found the wrong friends where he got involved with drugs, alcohol etc. at the age of thirteen.
on his fourteenth birthday he got a present from his 'friend'. Heroin. Dream didn't know what it was, he only knew that it was supposed to feel good.
so he took it without thinking about it. that's where his addiction started.
his 'friends' slowly took distance from him cause he was an 'ugly drug' accident. even tho its their fault that dream is like this now.
the only friend that didn't left him is or was Jake. It's his fault that dream is now addicted to it again, if he wouldn't have give it to him.. he would not be there where he is now.
I still feel sorry for dream, he had or has a really hard life. I think i'm allowed to say that i brought him a little bit of colour into his life.
dream was a really good looking guy while he was clean. he could've had almost anyone he wanted, but he choose me.
and i left him for some guy that is an asshole. If i could go back, i wouldn't do that move. but what happened, happened.
you can't change it.
I sit myself down on the couch as i stare at the dark ceiling, when my phone rings. Alex is calling me.
"Hello?" i say "George? where did Clay go?" I hear nicks voice. "Clay? I don't know." i answer "he didn't say anything?"
"no, he didn't. why are you asking, did something happen?" i ask "no." is all he answers before ending the call.
I look at my phone for a few minutes but turn it off. then i lay myself down on the couch and close my eyes.
_____
"mr lee. you still look tried." mrs smith says "I am." is all i answer and sit myself down on my chair again and log into my computer.
I only got like four hours of sleep, but luckily I only have to work until 12pm.
Since yesterday i didn't hear anything from Alex. he didn't text me, he didn't write me, nothing.
"mr lee!" a known voice calls my name, i turn around to see Kan standing there, mr white. "you're back?"
"yep, i'm back!" he says with a smile on his face as he sits himself down next to me. "how was it in Japan?" i ask "it was stressful, but also really beautiful."
he was on a one year Bussis trip to Japan. he's my best friend in work. outside from work we sometimes see each other, but not that often.
"so, anything new while i was gone?" he asks "nope, everything stayed boring." i tell him. "then we have to do something here, it looks so- so lifeless."
"no, you're gonna let me work now." i say as i get up and slowly push him to the door "but-", "no 'but's' you gonna stay in your office." is all i said before shutting the door in his face.
"now he's going to annoy you every day now again." mrs smith laughs "don't remind me." i say with a grin on my face.
my work phone starts to ring.
"Hello? mr lee talking." i say as i pick up the phone "George? George?" a known voice says. "Tai? why the hell are you calling me on my work phone?!" i scream-whisper, trying to not let mrs smith hear.
"i couldn't reach you. can you come over after work? I need help with paper." he says "yeah.. sure. i end work in 10 minutes." i tell him before hanging up.
I start to turn off my computer and pack my thing together. "lucky you. I've to stay until 2pm today." mrs smith says.
"you got this. at least you get more money for staying longer." I say as i stand up "you're right." she smiles.
I walk out of my office, even tho i still have some minutes to work, and make my way to the car.
now i have to go over to Tai.. I am so tired dude.
i go through his street and see all the junkies smoking and shouting. I look over to Tai's door and see dream?
he waits for a few seconds, but then opens the door and walks in.
Didn't he want to stop?
In the Apartment, where tai lives, is a drug seller named Liam. He sells good drugs for little money.
because it's so cheap almost everyone buys the drugs there, so Liam has more money than some drugs dealer that sell drugs for much money.
I walk inside the apartment and stand on one stair, waiting in front of Liams door while leaning myself against the wall.
the door gets opened and a young boy comes out, the age of 16, maybe. He holds a package of heroin in his hand and looks over to me.
"It's free now, you can go in." he says "i'm just waiting for someone." i say. he shrugs his shoulders and walks out.
i know it's none of my business what dream does, but when he tells me that he wants to get clean and now i see him here, in the apartment from a drug dealer..
how could i not talk to him?
I wanna try to convince him to not take them. to keep going without them and instead of taking heroin he could smoke a cigarette or something like that.
then, dream comes out with a package of heroin in his right hand that is shaking.
he looks so sick..
He doesn't walk, but turns around to me.
"George?" he says confused "didn't you say you want to get clean again?"
"huh?" he makes as he looks down to his hand "oh.." he makes. "it's one last time.." he says restlessly.
"but this time you could get clean, if you really try." i say and he stays quiet as he looks down. "I know it's hard, but the time you say 'one last time' could be the time where you can make it." I say.
"you don't understand that." he says "you aren't addicted to this shit like i am. you never tried it. you don't know what it's like, when your whole body hurts from the inside and outside. you don't know what it's like when your whole body is shaking, just because of this stupid thing!" he almost shouts.
"and i'm happy that i don't know this feeling." i say, he looks at me. "yeah, so don't fucking try to talk! It's your fault that I got addicted again." he suddenly says as he grabs my wrist.
"If you wouldn't have talked to that shitty guy and leave me behind like nothing, i wouldn't be here where i am. It's your fault! so don't try to tell me anything!" his grab get tighter.
"it hurts! let go!" i say as i try to free myself "you ruined my life." he says and lets go of me.
i grab my wrist, because it's hurting.
then he slowly starts to leave. "It's not my fault!" I shout after him.
or is it?
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