TW - SEXUAL HARASSMENT AND NON-CONSENT IN THIS CHAPTER! IF YOU GET TRIGGERED BY THIS OR FEEL THAT YOU ARE TOO YOUNG TO READ THIS, I SUGGEST YOU SKIP THE CHAPTER! STAY SAFE, FRIENDS! <3
WE ALSO FINALLY GET SIRIA (SIRIUS/ZIA) IN THIS CHAPTER! YAYYY!!!
.oOo.
"Luke!" my eight-year-old self squealed as he swung me around in the air. "You're gonna mess up my new dress!"
He laughed loudly and sat me down gently on the bed that I shared with our brother Chris Rodriguez. "You're no fun, Chicken Little. Live a little!"
I gaped at him. "I am too fun! And don't call me Chicken Little! Chicken Little is a boy!" I crossed my arms and gave him the evil eye.
He put his hands up mockingly. "Yes, ma'am! Whatever you say! ...Chicken Little..."
I let out a loud roar and jumped on top of him, climbing onto his back. I grabbed a random pillow and started beating him with it. I meant to hurt him and cause loud cries of pain but the only noise I could get out of him was a fit of giggles every time I screamed, "DIE, DIE, DIE!" He stumbled around the cabin trying to dodge my flailing limbs that were trying to decapitate him with a pillow.
The conch horn went off in the background and we both froze. I peered at him over his shoulder and was looking right back at me with matching wide eyes. Without missing a beat, we both dove for the doorway trying to be the first one at the dining pavilion. We were trying to stop each other at all costs from making it to the door. I would try to use my super speed, he would grab me and push me onto the bed. I would tackle him, he would fall. He would grab my ankle, I would kick him in the face. It had turned very violent. Eventually, we proposed a truce and we walked peacefully to the pavilion.
Chris stomped towards us with his hands on his hips. "It's about time!" he shouted. "Do you know how hard it is to save seats for you two at the table? DO YOU?!"
Luke shrugged. "Sorry, Chris, Miss Priss over here was having a tantrum." He placed his elbow on top of my shiny bald head and gestured to me with his other hand lazily.
I gave him an evil glare but said nothing. He was definitely getting food coloring in his soap when he took a shower that night.
Chris gave me a teasing grin. "Awww," he said in a baby voice. "What were you crying about this time, Chicken Little?" My face went a deep purple as my two brothers exploded into laughter.
After a few seconds of my brothers cackling like hyenas and me seething silently, Luke calmed down and wiped some tears out of the corner of his eyes. "Okay, so anyway, I heard we have some new additions to the cabin. Two brothers. They haven't been claimed yet."
My ears perked up. More boys? That meant new friends! But wait...
I tugged on Luke's shirt. "Please tell me that doesn't mean me and Chris have to give up our bed!" I pleaded with him, even going as far as to use my puppy dog eyes. Despite the fact that I had to share the bed with Chris, I really didn't want to sleep on the floor with someone's smelly feet beside my head just because there was no room.
He rolled his eyes. "No, Zia, you don't have to give it up."
I let out a loud whoop and pumped my fist into the air as we walked into the dining pavilion. Campers wandered around talking to friends and sacrificing their food to the fire. Mr. D. and Chiron sat at the head table, and Mr. D. seemed to be sulking about how he lost to Chiron in pinocle again. My eyes searched the Hermes table for new faces as we approached and I just so happened to notice two identical boys sitting right across my seat. I broke out into a wild grin and dragged Luke over to the brothers, plopping down in my seat. The boys stared at me, stunned, as I shoved my hand in their faces and gave them a wide smile with my two front teeth missing.
"Hi!" I practically yelled in their faces. "My name's Audenzia Blazen! What's y'all's?"
"Er... Travis and Connor Stoll," they both replied, shock still evident on their faces.
"Nice to meet cha!" I retracted my hand as it became obvious that they weren't gonna shake it anytime soon. I smoothed out my dress primly.
Luke laid his hand on my shoulder. "Inside voice, Zee."
I looked at him like he was an idiot. "We're outside, stupid."
Luke looked as if he wanted to throw me off a cliff so I was lucky when one of the boys interrupted our little stare-off. "So, uh, Audenzia? Why're you wearing a dress? Isn't this a fighting camp?"
I shrugged as I tried to shove some mac and cheese down my throat without feeling sick. "Well, ya know, since I'm gonna die soon, I might as well feel pretty every day until the very end. Go out feeling like a queen, ya know?"
The two adorned stunned expressions while Luke choked on his grilled chicken. The rest of the table went silent, all of my brothers staring at me with horror and sadness in their eyes. "Zia, we talked about this...." Luke said, pain evident in his voice.
"Well, it's the truth and we all know it," I sighed at him. That mac and cheese was a mistake; I should've just eaten some fruit. I stood up unsteadily. "I don't feel like eating anymore. I'm going back to the cabin."
Luke grabbed my wrist gently, trying not to bruise it. "Zia, I know you've lost your appetite, but you need to eat. You've already lost too much weight." His blue eyes stared at me pleadingly. I sat back down, avoiding everyone's eyes.
"So do you, like, have cancer or something?" one of the boys asked.
I nodded slightly. "Yeah, leukemia. It's terminal and not even my magic can save me. There isn't a cure."
Stoll #1 placed one of his hands on my clasped ones. "I'm really sorry."
"What do you mean 'magic'?" Stoll #2 asked me curiously.
I gave them a shark-like grin.
"I'm a witch."
.oOo.
"Son of a frick frackin' fanged flobberworm, Slughorn's gonna murder me--" I muttered frantically under my breath as I sprinted down the hallways of Hogwarts. I really shouldn't have stayed up so late last night working on my costume for the ball tomorrow, but of course, my stupid ADHD brain wouldn't stop coming up with ideas for the outfit! Although... I have to admit that because of my brilliant sleep-deprived hyper genius, my booty is going to look absolutely fabulous in that gown...
I spotted a balcony and skidded to it, slowing down enough to leap over the edge. I free-fell for about ten feet, my bag flying out of my hand. I landed in a heap on the platform of the stairs closest to the dungeons. I heard my bag land with a clatter a few feet away from me. I really hoped none of my inkwells or crystal glasses cracked. I laid on the floor for a few seconds, just silently thanking Apollo that I didn't break any bones. That was a really foolish move for me to do. Thank the gods I decided not to wear stilettos today...
I climbed to my feet, wobbling as I grabbed onto the railing to hoist myself up. I had major jelly legs. That really was a stupid idea. I must have left my only functioning brain cell back in the dorm. I straightened up, blew my curls out of my face, and giggled crazily. At least I was alive! I pumped my fists in the air. "And she sticks the landing!" I laughed loudly, my voice echoing throughout the hallway.
"Yeah, I wouldn't really call collapsing on the floor and not getting up for ten seconds 'sticking the landing,' Blazen," a girl's voice said in amusement.
"Putain de merde!" I screeched in French. I whirled around and came face to face with Lily Evans. She was smiling at me cautiously.
"Evans!" I said, heart thumping. "Um, did you--?"
She giggled. "Did I see all that? Yeah, I did."
I flushed. "Oh, well, um, can you maybe, possibly, not tell anyone about it?"
She raised her eyebrows at me. "Worried about ruining your perfect reputation?"
I chortled. "Well, I don't really know about 'perfect,' but there indeed is a reputation to uphold." I eyed Lily carefully. "Aren't you supposed to be in Potions right now?"
She stared right back at me. "Aren't you as well?"
I blinked. "Touche." I shuffled my feet awkwardly.
The silence spread on for a few seconds. "I was in an emergency prefect meeting about the ball. Peeves flooded the kitchens again and ruined all the desserts. We were trying to figure out how to fix the issue," Lily explained to me, breaking the silence.
"Oh," I said. "That's horrible. So the prefects are the ones setting up the ball?"
"Correct."
The silence was back. Gods, this was awkward...
"I overslept," I said, embarrassed. "I was too hyper to fall asleep last night when I was supposed to."
"Ah, makes sense." Lily nodded understandingly. "Why were you so hyper?"
Um, why do you want to know??? "Oh, well, I had a lot of sugar quills yesterday and my ADHD didn't exactly help so..." I trailed off. Why exactly was I having a civil conversation with Lily Evans of all people? I thought she hated me? I mean, I'm not complaining, really. I've always wanted to be her friend. Might as well keep this peaceful. Ooh, maybe I can become friends with her so I can get close to the Marauders for my mission. She does interact with them a lot...
"You have ADHD?" Lily asked, her voice full of surprise.
"Yeah." I tucked a lock of hair behind my ear. "Not a lot of people know since they never really ask and it never really comes up in a conversation. You're the first person I've told this to in years now that I realize it..."
"Wow. Who else knows?"
"Um, Regulus Black; Xenophillius Lovegood; Dumbledore; Madame Pomfrey; the teachers; and yeah, I think that's it," I explained to her.
She walked closer to me and leaned against the railing. "Not Malfoy?"
I fiddled with the rings on my fingers. "No, he wouldn't really...um... he doesn't... he doesn't really understand disorders and disabilities and things like that. He calls them freakish and says any person who has them is, like, stupid and stuff. So I've never really brought it up. He'd probably treat me like I'm contagious if he ever found out, to be honest." I ran a hand over my face in exasperation.
Lily's mouth was hanging open. "That's just... that's ultimate douchebag behavior! And this guy is your best friend?! You're still going to the ball with him?!" She stared at me like I was mental.
"Well, when you put it like that..." I grumbled.
Lily stared at me long and hard, as if scanning me with her eyes. "I noticed you dropped your bag. Here." She handed me my bag, and our fingers brushed for a second. She pulled back quickly as if she had been burned, and for a second I saw panic in her eyes. I gave her a weird look.
Okay, so apparently Lily Evans is possibly a germophobe. Who knew?
"Um, thanks," I said. "You do know I don't have cooties, right?"
"Sorry, I just... um... uh... I'm a germophobe!" she shouted right in my face with a panicked smile. "Yeah, that's it! A germophobe! Don't take it personally."
Called it!
I shrugged. "Okay. You can't be any worse than Narcissa Black when it comes to cleanliness anyway. Wanna head to class now?"
"Sure," Lily said. We started heading to class side by side. Every time we got too close, she would flinch as if I tried to stab her or something. We arrived at the classroom door, the smell of potions wafting into our noses. Gods, you would think after six years of living in the dungeons I would be used to the cold but nope! It was bloody freezing down there!
I turned towards Lily. "Hey, no offense, but can you wait a few seconds to come in after I go in? I can't have the others knowing that I walked to class late with--"
"A Mudblood?" Lily sneered, her eyes growing cold.
"Er--" I honestly completely forgot about her blood status.
"And here I was beginning to think that you were alright!" she huffed.
"Hey, I said 'no offense'!" I hissed. "And I was going to say a Gryffindor before you so rudely interrupted me!"
She glared. "So? Still means you're embarrassed to be seen with me!"
"Ugh!" I blew a curl out of my face in annoyance. "Excuse me for not wanting to get eaten alive by my fellow snakes as soon as I set foot into the common room later just because I walked into class with one of our 'sworn enemies'!"
"Sworn enemies?!" Lily laughed meanly. "God, you Slytherins really take dramatics and this rivalry way too seriously!"
"It's not my fault everyone in my house has a flair for drama! But seriously, they will burn me at the stake if they see me with you! I'll become a house pariah! Please, just wait a few seconds before coming in after me!" I begged her.
"Fine," she said coldly. "But you owe me."
"Thanks!" I pushed open the door and all eyes turned to me.
"Ah, Miss Blazen!" Slughorn peered over his cauldron at me. "You've finally decided to grace us with your presence I see!"
"Yes, sir. I'm sorry for the lateness, it won't happen again." I took my place at my usual table.
"Yes, I'm aware, considering you've stated that the last 16 times that's happened this year." The class giggled. Traitors. Then he took five points from Slytherin. Good Ol' Sluggy rolled his tiny eyes at me and started walking around the classroom, peering into people's cauldrons.
The door opened once more and Lily Evans walked inside. Slughorn simply glanced over, smiled, and greeted her warmly. Typical. Of course, the teacher's pet doesn't get in trouble for the exact same thing I did. "Lily, I would like you to sit next to Miss Blazen over here for the rest of the year," Slughorn stated as he walked over to her.
Lily sucked in a sharp breath. "Me?"
"Yes, you!" Slughorn laughed. "Inter-house unity and all that! Not to mention the fact that since Miss Blazen can clearly not get to class on time, who's to say she'll be able to time her potions correctly without supervision?" Slughorn once again chuckled jovially.
The quill in my hand snapped. I glared up at my Head of House, seething silently. That was a low blow. Slughorn knows that I am one of the best Potions students in the entire school and that I have learning disabilities that make it hard for me to become that successful in my schoolwork. He really didn't need to practically shove that in my face in front of everyone!
Lily nodded and sat down next to me. She began setting up all of her equipment and I began to do the same, my hands shaking the entire time. We began working on the potion silently. Every few seconds I would catch her glance over at me seeming to analyze every move I made. I tried to focus on my potion as much as I could because I really didn't want to give Sluggy the satisfaction of seeing me time it wrong and have it blow up in my face, but she was starting to really freak me out. I didn't know how much longer I could take it!
The bell rang for lunch and I quickly gathered up my stuff, leaving everyone in the dust. I strode down towards the Great Hall for lunch, but before I could walk in, a hand grabbed my shoulder. I whipped around and relaxed when I saw that it was Lucius.
"Hey," I said brightly.
"Hey," he said, his eyes sharp and cold. He led me to an abandoned classroom. I stood in front of him watching him cross his arms and draw himself up to his full height.
I studied him. "Something wrong, Lucy?" I teased him.
He sneered. "Heard you were talking to that Mudblood Evans... like you were friends," he spat at me venomously.
"Excuse me?" I asked sharply. Where exactly did he hear that? I thought no one was in the corridors when Lily and I interacted!
"Don't tell me you're becoming a Blood Traitor, Blazen." Malfoy grabbed my wrist and pulled me sharply towards him. He held my wrist in a tight grip next to my head that was no doubt gonna leave a ring of bruises shaped like fingerprints around it. I clenched my fist and tried to yank it away from him. He held on even tighter.
"Let go, Malfoy!" I yelled at him.
He ignored me and bent close to my ear. "If I hear that you are ever conversing with another Mudblood or Blood Traitor ever again, you will regret it." I froze. What exactly did that mean? Was he going to hurt me? Kill me? So much for being "besties." I gaped at him with wide eyes.
He grinned a little. "And we both know that the Dark Lord will not approve of this kind of behavior from you either." He cradled my cheek in his hand and started rubbing his thumb on my cheekbone in a "comforting" manner. Really it was just plain creepy. "Can't have you getting hurt now, can we? Wouldn't want to damage that pretty little face of yours." He patted my cheek and I jerked my head away from him. He still had my wrist in a suffocating grip.
"Laisse-moi partir, putain de rampant!" I screamed at him, snapping out of my shock. He understood me perfectly (his family is French) and his face darkened considerably. He rammed me up against the wall.
"I AM PROTECTING YOU, BLAZEN! WHY CAN'T YOU SEE THAT?! I JUST WANT YOU TO STAY AWAY FROM THOSE PEOPLE SO YOU DON'T GET INFECTED WITH THEIR DISGUSTING BELIEFS! YOU SHOULD BE THANKING ME!" Malfoy bellowed at me, spit flying from his mouth. His eyes were crazed.
I was shaking all over. He looked like a maniac. Often, over the six years that I've known him, I've thought that Malfoy might have bipolar disorder. Not that I'd ever point that out to him because I'd known how he would've reacted but he did show a lot of traits for it. He had constant mood swings (one second he would be sweet and kind, and the next second, well, he would be like right now...), he had anger issues, was rather impulsive, and I've heard him crying a lot when he thought no one was around. Not to mention the fact that I once read that some people with it constantly want to have sex. Lucius always had a girl with him, maybe more than one, especially if a party rolled around. Most of the time during a party, he would stay in his room. I think anyone can guess why. But right now, yeah, I was about 94% sure that the guy was bipolar.
I started screaming back at him. "WHOEVER SAID I BELIEVED THEIR BELIEFS, HUH?! YOU'RE THE ARSEHOLE ASSUMING THINGS! EVANS AND I ONLY TALKED FOR A FEW MINUTES AND EVEN THEN WE WERE JUST ARGUING! GET OVER IT, MALFOY!"
We went on like this for a few minutes, back and forth. I basically just screamed every cuss word in the book at him while he would go on a rant about the Dark Lord and how disappointed he was in me and how the Dark Lord would be too someday if I kept this behavior up when we both became Death Eaters. I honestly can't believe I thought this guy was my best friend. Like yeah, I knew he had problems and I had begone to realize that he was a pretty toxic person but I didn't think it was this bad. Every now and then I would try to wiggle out of his grasp but he would just pin me to the wall harder. Yeah, this was leaving bruises.
Suddenly, out of nowhere, a pair of lips come crashing down on mine. I gasped in shock. Lucius... Lucius freaking Malfoy was snogging me.
He. Was. Snogging. Me.
And I absolutely hated it.
Now I know what a good kiss is like. I've never snogged or dated anyone at Hogwarts for obvious reasons. However, at Camp Half-Blood I've had quite a few boyfriends and girlfriends. Sherman Yang, Drew Tanaka, Malcolm Pace, Lee Fletcher (gods, I miss him...), and Nyssa Barrera. All of them are amazing kissers and partners, and all of them I'm on great terms with! (Well, I kinda have to be on good terms with them considering I live with them all besides Lee...). But yeah, they were all amazing at kissing, so I know a thing or two about what a good kisser is.
Lucius however is a horrible kisser, at least he is to me. He's too rough, and he keeps biting way too hard. His breath smells like the scrambled eggs from breakfast. I hate scrambled eggs. In addition to that, his hands were wandering all over my body, touching places I wasn't comfortable with. Pure panic and terror are racing through my mind. I have to get him off! I tried to scream as loud as I could when he finally came up for air, but he came right back down on my lips.
Get off! Get off! Get off! Getoffgetoffgetoffgetoffgetoffgetoffgetoffgetoff!!! GET OFF OF ME! I'm crying out of fear now. How could I have ever trusted him?! He was supposed to be my best friend!
Malfoy removed his mouth from mine, his lips swollen and bruised. "No, please, Malfoy, stop!" I pleaded with him.
"Just shut up and enjoy the experience, sweetheart," he told me with a smirk on his face. He pulled me towards him and ripped off my robe, leaving me standing in my skirt, tie, and a white button-down shirt.
Oh, gods. Oh no. He was actually gonna try to go all the way. Malfoy pushed me back against the wall and pinned both my wrists above my head with one big hand. He began to kiss my neck, slowly working his way down. "You have no idea how long I've been wanting to catch you alone to do this," Malfoy groaned. He placed his other hand on my arse, squeezing it way too hard. He began biting my neck, moaning in between. It hurt. A lot. And I really did not want to have a hickey from this perverted white boy of all people.
I tried to clear my mind to think of an escape route, which was rather hard because I was currently being raped by my so-called best friend.
Oh, my gods. I was being raped. This is literally every women's living nightmare--
And it was happening to me...
Holy Styx...
Now those thoughts cleared my mind for sure. I looked around the room frantically, searching for something to defend myself with. I spotted a fat brown rat on the desk next to me, watching this whole ordeal with big beady black eyes, like it couldn't believe what it was seeing. It felt as if a light bulb had gone off above my head. I turned to glare down at the pale seventh year, who was kissing my collarbone and undoing the buttons on my shirt with one hand. He'd already gotten two buttons undone. I could feel myself slowly spiraling into another panic attack so I put my plan into action.
Lucius was standing on my feet to make sure I couldn't kick him, so I made the quick decision to bash my head on his when he came back up to kiss me again. A loud painful crack echoed throughout the room. Ugh, that's gonna cause a massive headache. He stumbled which gave me enough time to free my feet from the bottom of his shoes. I bent my knee, brought it up at an alarming speed, and slammed it right in Malfoy's balls. The wheeze he let out and the pained look in his eyes will forever live in the happiest part of my memories I'm sure. He leaned down, clutching his private area, sitting on his shins. His eyes were watering. I snarled and brought back my foot to strike his side. He collapsed on the ground with a cry of pain, tears running freely down his face. I leaned down and tapped on his face.
"Hey, sweetheart," I mocked him, "why don't you just shut up and enjoy the experience?" I grabbed my wand from my bag that I had dropped in the middle of the room where our argument began.
"Furnunculus!" I yelled. Malfoy was suddenly covered in large boils all over. He gave a howl of pain and tried to climb to his feet, glaring at me.
I then kept sending spells at him. By the time I was done with my fun, he had feelers and antennas like an insect, boils, and pus was coming out of his nose. Of course, I knew he could go to the hospital wing to get this all fixed, so I used a spell the Hecate cabin taught me that will make my hexes stay on for the next two days no matter how hard people tried to take them off. I know. I'm a genius. No need to remind me.
I grabbed my bag and started to head to the door when he grabbed my ankle and started to tug me towards him. Despite having injuries, he was still freakishly strong and my mind went blank with fear which is why I didn't just kick him in the face. So out of pure desperation and genius, I snatched up that rat from the table, turned and bent down towards Malfoy... and shoved that nasty disease-carrying rat right down his shirt.
Naturally, he reacted like any normal person would when having a rodent shoved down their clothes. Malfoy started screaming, and let go of my ankle, writhing on the ground while trying to tear off his clothes. I heaved my bag on my shoulder and pointed at him. "You tell anyone about this, Malfoy, and I will not hesitate to kill you on the spot! And you can bet that we will not be going to the ball together, you perv! Never come near me again, you hear?!" I stormed out of the classroom, leaving a traitor behind me.
I managed to make it to a few corridors when all of the adrenaline and shock left my body. I began to realize, like fully thinking about what just happened. My friend, a person I've known and trusted for six years, just sexually assaulted me. And he had wanted to do it for quite a while evidently. I just... it was so hard to wrap my head around it. I leaned against the stone wall, and slowly slid down it, landing on the ground. I couldn't hold it in any longer. I buried my face into my knees and wrapped my arms around them. I burst into muffled sobs, my body shaking violently.
What did I do to deserve this?
Sirius' POV
Sirius was heading to his next class which he was already late for when he heard something. It sounded a lot like someone... crying? Oh Merlin, a Slytherin probably hexed another first year. Screw Charms, this was more important! He quickly ran to the source of noise and found someone curled up in a ball against one of the walls, bawling their eyes out and shaking like a leaf. The biggest surprise of all was that they were wearing an emerald green plaid skirt which meant... they were a Slytherin.
To say Sirius was shocked was an understatement. He was absolutely flabbergasted! It was a known fact that Slytherins do not cry. They do not show much emotion. It's like some sort of rule they all silently agreed to follow as soon as they were Sorted. So to see a Slytherin of all people cry, was definitely a little rattling to watch. Something really awful must've happened to make their emotional mask fall and shatter into pieces.
Sirius had two difficult options to choose from as he stood there awkwardly watching a random Slytherin girl cry.
1. He could walk away and pretend he never saw anything. Sirius hated Slytherins and Slytherins hated him. Sirius was pretty sure that girl would rather die than be comforted by the biggest Blood-Traitor in Gryffindor that taunted their House every day. And Sirius didn't exactly handle emotions very well, not to mention he really did not want to comfort a Slytherin of all people!
2. Sirius could swallow his pride and giant ego and help the poor girl out. He had made a promise to himself earlier that he would try to improve things about himself that weren't exactly the best. His pride was one thing that he really needed to work on. Helping a distressed Slytherin would be the start of baby steps for him. Plus, the girl seemed to be extremely upset if her crying was anything to go by. What if something really bad had happened? What if she actually wanted a shoulder to cry on and didn't care who he was at the moment?
At that moment, Sirius knew he had made his decision. He mustered up all his confidence and shoved down his pride. He approached her slowly as if she was a wounded animal. "Hey, are you okay?" A stupid question to ask because obviously, she was not okay, but he really didn't know what else to say. She didn't seem to hear him, so he lightly placed a hand on her shoulder. She flinched and her head shot up from where it was buried in her knees.
Sirius found himself staring into the scared almond-shaped eyes that belonged to none other than Audenzia Blazen.
Now, Sirius wasn't usually one to judge people based on their appearances unless it was someone he didn't like, such as Snape. He never thought of her as ugly, even when he hated her guts because, well, she was rather beautiful. Stunning actually. It was just a fact. Even James had admitted she was pretty and he hated her more than anything in the world! But... well... right now... even Sirius had to admit that Blazen looked like a complete disaster.
Blazen looked as if she had been trampled by a herd of hippogriffs. Her hair was a mess, her curls tangled and sticking out in different directions. Her hair was plastered to her face with sweat and tears. Her eyes were puffy and bloodshot, and her cheeks were dark red. Her mascara and eyeliner were running down her face, making her look like a demonic raccoon. Her lips were puffy and bruised, which made Sirius stop and stare at them for a moment.
Had she been snogging someone? Did they do something to her afterward that made her upset? Maybe she just went through a breakup? But as far as Sirius knew, Blazen wasn't dating anyone. Perhaps it was a secret relationship? There was already so much about this girl that he had never known, so he really wouldn't have been surprised if that was the case. The girl was full of surprises lately.
"Keep staring at my lips, Black, and your eye will match your last name," Blazen stated quietly, her voice trembling.
Sirius' eyes snapped back up to her eyes, which were looking at him with a heavily-guarded stare. "I--um--that's not what I--" He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "Um, sorry. Uh, are you okay?"
Blazen sniffled. "Does it look like it?"
"No, I just didn't know what else to ask."
Blazen barked out a laugh and fell silent staring at the ground, twisting the rings around her fingers anxiously. Sirius settled himself next to her in the same position she was. He glanced at her blank face and knocked their knees together. "Wanna talk about it?" he asked Blazen softly.
She turned to slowly look at him with big watery eyes.
"You don't have to of course!" Sirius hurriedly reassured her. "Personal boundaries and all! It just... it just looked like you really wanted to talk to someone about it and well, I'm the only person here so I..." he trailed off. She was still staring at him, eyes wide and mouth slightly open.
"You know what, that was a really stupid question, I mean you have a lot more friends you can talk to and I'm sure you don't want to tell me even if I was the last person on Earth, and I honestly don't blame you, so yeah, I'll just go, sorry for bothering you..." Sirius rambled on as he scrambled to his feet, reaching to grab his Charms book.
A thin hand with perfectly manicured nails grabbed his wrist. Sirius looked down into Blazen's hazel eyes, his eyes growing wide. Her touch was soft and gentle, like a feather touching his skin. After seeing the memory where she killed three she-demons, it was kind of a shock to know that she had such a gentle touch as if he was porcelain that was going to break with the smallest hit. Sirius would've thought she would be rougher and mean, with a tight grip that threatened to break his arm. She did have faint callouses on her palm however and he noticed that there were small scars littering her hand that spread up further and further until they disappeared under the rumpled white sleeve of her shirt.
"Stay," she said quietly. "I don't mind."
Sirius complied immediately and slowly sat back down in the position he was in before. "So, uh, you do wanna talk about it?"
Blazen shrugged. "I guess. It would be pretty unhealthy for me mentally if I just keep it bottled up for the rest of my life."
"Really? That bad, huh?"
"You have no idea," she mumbled. "But honestly you're the perfect person I could talk to about this."
"How so?" Sirius was confused. Why would she want to talk to him out of everybody else?
"You don't know me," she said simply. Sirius blinked. Blazen continued. "We're almost complete strangers to each other. We hardly ever interact unless it's a fight. So, I guess, just talking about this to someone who does know me, will be a thousand times worse than if I tell you. Because that means that for the rest of the time that I and that person know and care for each other, they will always see me in a different light than what they've always known me as. They'll stare at me out of pity for the rest of our lives, and I will hate myself for telling them because they will know me so well that they will be able to see right through me and see how it affected me.
But you... you don't know me so I can tell you because I know that we will not spend the rest of our lives together and the only time we'll ever see each other is in class or the hallways or the Great Hall, so even if you did feel differently about me afterward I wouldn't care because we don't know each other which means I wouldn't have feelings for what you think about me. You would just simply exist and know something no one else knows about me and that would be that.
So yeah, pretty sure you're the perfect person to talk to about this. That is if you don't plan on telling anyone. Because I'm not telling you if that's what you're gonna do."
Sirius sat there, trying to wrap his head around what she just said. It was a little confusing to understand but he did get it in the end. He placed a hand on top of hers. Everything was different about their hands, Sirius noticed, as they both stared down at the sudden contact. Her hands were thin and covered in tiny markings that made her look like she had lived in life. Like, truly lived. Like she had done things that she knew she would remember forever and the scars were like the memories of those times in life documented right on her skin. Sirius' hands looked nothing like Blazen's. His hands were big and strong. His didn't have scars, all he had were a few tattoos of dog prints making a track over his wrist and hand. His hands were as white as snow, making the blue veins more prominent, while hers were a beautiful golden brown. To Sirius, it seemed as if they were both the personified versions of the Sun and the Moon. It made perfect sense to him and he was sure Blazen would agree if she heard what he was thinking.
After a moment of silence, Sirius said, "I understand. And I promise I won't tell anyone."
For a second, Blazen seemed to stare into his eyes as if she was looking straight into his soul. Then she tilted her head. "Okay, I believe you."
Sirius was bewildered. "You're just gonna trust me based on my word? After everything I've done and said to you?"
Blazen shrugged and nodded. "I'm good at telling when people are lying. You're not lying." She sent a small smile to him.
Sirius got a warm feeling in his stomach.
"Now," Blazen said, "we'll need to go somewhere private for this. I don't want the portraits overhearing this."
"They sure do love to gossip." Sirius chuckled. "Do the kitchens work? The house elves are respectful enough to not eavesdrop."
"Yeah, it works."
Sirius climbed to his feet and offered a pale hand to her, which she took. He pulled her to her feet and was about to join her side when he paused. Sirius hadn't been able to see her clearly before when she was all scrunched up into a ball but now that he could, he saw a sight that made him rather concerned. Blazen was covered in fresh and forming bruises. There were about a dozen hickeys decorating her neck and collarbone. A few of them were bleeding. She also had bruises covering her arms and there were fingerprints around both of her wrists. Her green tie was draped around her neck and the top two buttons were undone.
Sirius was suddenly hit with a horrifying realization. He stared at Blazen with wide eyes. "Blazen, did somebody--"
"Not here." She grabbed his arm and led him down to the kitchens, questions swirling in his mind.
The duo arrived at the kitchens and were greeted enthusiastically by the house elves. They were led over to a table where multiple elves came to dump food. Blazen got roast beef and Yorkshire pudding, while Sirius got some treacle tart. Sirius waited patiently as Blazen finished her meal, and straightened when he realized she was done.
Blazen wiped her mouth on a napkin. "Guess I should start talking then." She crossed her arms and put on them on the table. "Well, I guess I should just put it simply..." She paused and took a shaky breath avoiding Sirius' worried eyes. "Um... I was raped."
Sirius' breath hitched in his throat as he stared at the sixteen-year-old girl in front of him who had ducked her and was trying desperately to not cry again. Tears had welled in her eyes and she was trying to furiously wipe them away.
"Merlin," Sirius said quietly. "I'm... I'm so sorry. Are you hurt badly?"
She pressed the heels of her hands onto her eyes and rested her head on them. "Y-Yeah, um, I'm not too badly injured, just a lot of b-bruises and um, b-bite marks," Blazen shakily replied. She lifted her head and looked at him. "Might have a concussion as well. I managed to get free by bashing my head onto his."
Sirius winced. "Ouch."
"That's one word to describe it."
"Do you know who it was?" Sirius questioned her.
Blazen was silent for a second and then burst into tears, sobs wracking her body. "Y-Ye-Yes!" she wailed burying her face in her hands.
Oh, Godric, Sirius thought in alarm, I hate it when girls cry! 'Cause when girls cry, I cry, and I really need to hold it together right now!
Sirius hopped up quickly and ran over to her side of the table, taking a seat next to her. He started rubbing circles on her back, whispering soothing things to her in French. Blazen blindly threw her arms around him and began weeping into his shoulder, soaking his shirt. Sirius was taken aback at first, after all, it was Audenzia Blazen and she was the last person he'd expected to be hugging one day, but really, he found that he didn't mind at all.
He shifted a little to make it a little more comfortable for the both of them and wrapped his arms loosely around her waist and back, holding her close to him. He continued to rub circles in her back, muttering French poems his old bat of a mother had forced him to memorize when he was young. Sirius felt a sudden wave of protectiveness and anger wash over him. Whoever this douchebag was that had sexually assaulted her deserved to die. Blazen was obviously by no means weak and he knew that she could take care of herself, but seeing her in such a vulnerable state made Sirius feel so so angry. Sirius was not only furious at the arse who raped Blazen, but also at society for making rape culture so normalized that men are taught that doing these acts are acceptable. It made Sirius sick to his stomach with how society (both Wizard and Muggle) treated women.
Blazen's cries subsided and she just sniffled quietly for a few minutes while Sirius tried his best to console the upset teen. "It was Malfoy," Blazen mumbled into Sirius' chest, her voice muffled and croaky.
Sirius froze. Did he hear that right? He pulled back gently and she peeked up at him, eyes red and glassy.
"What?" he whispered.
"Yeah."
"But-But he's your best friend!" Sirius blurted out, eyes wide.
"That's what I thought too!" she cried, tears rolling down her face silently. "Turns out he just wanted to get close to me so he could get into my pants!"
Sirius didn't even hesitate this time. He reached for her gingerly once more and pulled her in, hugging her close to his chest. This girl needed a lot of hugs and you can bet that she was gonna get them. She immediately wrapped her arms around his torso and tucked her head under his chin. He rested his head on top of hers. They sat in that position for a few minutes and then Blazen began to speak, not moving from her position in Sirius' arms.
"I was walking to lunch and was about to go into the Great Hall when Malfoy pulled me aside. We went to an abandoned classroom and he looked really mad. I asked him what was wrong and he started yelling at me for talking to Lily Evans and walking to class with her! I don't even know how he found out about that!"
Oh, looks like Lily has started her part of the "Not Minding Other People's Privacy Like We Should (Specifically Blazen's)" plan. Fantastic.
Blazen continued, "So of course we got into a huge argument which resulted in him grabbing my wrist and not letting go. He shoved me up against the wall and we kept arguing and I was telling him to let go! And he had both of my wrists pinned by then. But then he started acting so creepy; talking about how the D-Dark Lord won't be pleased with me and then he started p-petting me and called me 'a pretty little face'. And I was trying to kick him off me but he stood on top of my feet and then he started kissing me. And let me tell you, he is absolutely horrendous at snogging."
This is horrible, Sirius thought. Blazen put her complete trust in this guy and adored him and he's just stomping all over it like the douche he is.
Blazen started to shake and Sirius began to rub her back again. "A-And then, he started f-feeling me u-up and started kissing my neck and undoing my shirt! I-I was s-so scared! I-I was having a h-huge pan-panic attack the whole time and by the time I calmed down he was about to snog me again, so I headbutted him which really hu-hurt and now I have a really bad h-headache and this cr-crying isn't helping at all but I can't s-stoppp!" she wailed in frustration.
Okay, Lucius Malfoy is going to die. It's confirmed. They'll never find the body.
"It's normal to cry in this situation," Sirius said to her. "Just let it all out." She nodded jerkily and went back to talking.
"Anyway, I managed to knock him off balance, and I kneed him in the balls, and then I kicked his side, and I hexed him all over, but he tried to drag me to him when I was running away, and so I shoved this ugly rat down his shirt and threatened to kill him," she prattled on, not seeing Sirius' mouth drop open in awe and him mouth, Merlin's saggy balls, this girl is wicked--, "And then I ran away where you found me, and now you're comforting me, and actually making me feel safe for once in my life which is really freaking ironic when you think about it because it's you of all people, and now you're hugging me, and I'm actually enjoying it and holy snickerdoodles, you smell really freaking good, what cologne do you use?" she rambled on mindlessly, sniffing his shirt at the end of her sentence.
A light blush dusted Sirius' face. "Oh, um, thanks! I use Versace Eros."
"Excellent, never heard of it!" Blazen giggled in between sobs.
They both pulled back from the embrace at the same time and looked at each other with tiny smiles on their faces. "Feel better after letting it all out?" Sirius asked her.
"Much. Thank you for listening to me," she smiled waterly at him.
"No problem. And I'm glad you trusted me enough to tell me this."
Blazen stared at him, scanning his face. "You've changed, haven't you? Or at least you're trying to?"
Good Godric, this girl can read me like a book. Sirius nodded. "I'm trying. I've realized... well, I figured out that I haven't exactly been the best person. Especially to you. I'm trying to become a better person and make things I screwed up in the past right. I took out my anger and frustration on you even though I knew it was wrong and pretended that I only did it because my friends told me to. I was absolutely mental for putting you through so much pain and suffering. I know I haven't made life easy for you and I will forever feel guilty about that. I guess what I'm trying to say is... I'm sorry. For everything. And I'm sorry for everything my friends did as well. I don't expect you to forgive me but I just wanted to let you know how sorry I am."
Blazen broke out into a blinding smile. "You have no idea how long I've waited to hear those words!" she squealed. "I'm really happy you're owning up to your mistakes and trying to be a better person."
Sirius cracked a small smile at that, warmth spreading across his cheeks.
Blazen continued. "Now, like, I definitely don't forgive you; you're gonna have to work really hard to earn my forgiveness. I'm not gonna say that it's okay because, like, it's not."
"I would think you were utterly mental if you did say that, to be honest."
"But," Blazen stated, a hesitant look marking her face, "I do accept your apology. And I hope that we could possibly, maybe... be friends? Or at least acquaintances. That is if you want to?"
On the inside, Sirius was cheering like some sort of fangirl. Sirius on the outside had to refrain from squealing like a five-year-old girl who had gotten a pony for Christmas and save himself some dignity, so he settled for grinning like an idiot. "I would love to be your friend!"
"Yay!" Blazen cheered. "Okay, a few things you should know about being friends with me. I will steal all your food and homework answers so you might as well get used to it. Our friendship doesn't make you immune to pranks I pull, m'kay? And you can expect to have your nails and makeup done by me at least once. And you will be subjected to very long rants about the patriarchy."
"Sounds like a great friendship to me!" Sirius laughed.
"Excellent." Blazen grinned. "This is going to make tutoring a lot easier now."
"Merlin, I forgot that's today."
"Wanna meet up after dinner in the library? Lupin's gonna be there as well, correct?"
"Yeah," Sirius confirmed.
Blazen glanced down and clapped her hand over her mouth. "Merlin's pants, I ruined your shirt!" she gasped while trying to look serious. "I'm so sorry!"
Sirius looked down at his shirt and laughed. It was covered in makeup, snot, and tears. "I dunno, mate, I think it looks rather fashionable."
Blazen let a loud snort and giggled into her hands. She looked a lot happier. Maybe the jokes were helping her not think about the trauma she just went through.
"Hey, um, this is gonna sound weird," Blazen started, peeking up at him after finishing laughing, "but can we hug again and just stay that way for a little while?"
"Sure," Sirius shrugged. "Any reason why?" he asked as he wrapped his arms around her, her face buried into his chest.
Blazen sighed. "My family doesn't really care for hugs. The only people who give me hugs are some cousins and a few friends but I haven't seen any of them in months. I just need to remember what hugs feel like; you're the first to hug me in forever, and you make me feel safe for some reason. I guess I'm a little touch-starved," she explained.
"I understand. Back in first year, James gave me a hug and I thought he was attacking me. That was the first time I've ever been hugged in my life. Our parents didn't like showing affection and they forced that onto me and Reg as well. After James hugged me, it was life-changing. Hugs are probably my favorite thing in the world. When I got home that summer, I made sure to give Reggie as many hugs as possible whenever we were alone. He says doesn't like hugs all that much but I can tell he secretly enjoys them whenever he gets one."
"That's adorable," Blazen declared.
Sirius got a weird fluttering feeling in his stomach.
After about ten minutes of just hugging in the middle of the kitchens with house elves bustling around them preparing dinner, they pulled apart and smiled sheepishly at each other. "I really needed that," Blazen said quietly. "Thanks."
"I think we both needed it," Sirius said. "Hey, do you want me to heal the bruises?"
Blazen gave him puppy eyes. "Yes, please."
Sirius quickly cast a healing spell on her, which got rid of the bruises and hickeys. Blazen thanked him profusely and then placed multiple protection spells on herself. I don't want it happening again, she explained fearfully. They talked for a few more minutes, cracking jokes and bickering about what hair styling products are the best. Sirius quickly learned that Blazen had to be the funniest person he had ever met. Like, she was funnier than all the Marauders combined. She was very energetic and witty and loved dark humor and dirty jokes, a trait that he loved because he was the same way. The two got along like two peas in a pod which just made Sirius feel even more guilty for bullying her in the past.
"Well, um, I should get going," Blazen smiled, jabbing her thumb at the portrait hole. "I have History of Magic next and we both know I can't skip that class."
"Right, yeah, see ya at dinner!" Sirius shouted as she walked away.
"See ya, Black!"
"Wait, Blazen!" yelled Sirius. She turned around confused. Sirius rubbed the back of his neck. "Call me Sirius."
She beamed at him. "Okay... Sirius. Call me Zia." She turned and began walking once more, a new pep in her step.
Sirius offered her a wide grin back even though she couldn't see it. "Bye, Zia!" he shouted.
"Toodles!" she laughed loudly before disappearing out of the portrait hole.
Sirius sank down on the wooden bench at the table. Sirius knew that whatever Zia revealed to him in their new friendship, it would stay a secret. He wasn't planning on telling the other Marauders and Lily anything to help with finding out Zia's personal life. If that meant lying to his friends then so be it. He had just gained her trust and he was not about to throw it away. Not like how Malfoy did. Sirius was going to keep her safe. He solemnly swore it.
"SIRIUS BLACK!" Zia's voice screeched as she stormed into the kitchens once more. Sirius jumped up and stood ramrod straight. She looked terrifying. Her hair was a tangled bush around her head and her eyes were red and rimmed with black, along with black tear stains streaming down her cheeks.
"Yes, ma'am?" Sirius squeaked, his voice a few octaves higher.
"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THAT I LOOKED LIKE I JUST ESCAPED FROM THE MENTAL WARD AT SAINT MUNGO'S?!" she wailed dramatically while giving him the meanest stinkeye in history.
Merlin give me strength.
.oOo.
A/N - Okay, so how many months has it been? Oh, nine months, you say? Oops.
Alright, so I am back, people! And back with a new chapter! I know I said that the howler would be in this one, but that will be in the next chapter which I plan to have out by next Sunday (hopefully). I wanted to do the howler in this but I've been working on this chapter for like six months now (sad, I know, but I took a lot of breaks) and I really just wanted to get it out and get it done with especially after I promised multiple people I would have it out tonight.
Here's a life update that I know no one cares about but I don't care about that so here you go:
I passed ninth grade and am starting tenth grade tomorrow (ugh, this year is gonna suck, I already know it)
I broke up with my boyfriend because he was kinda mean to me, we had literally nothing in common, we never saw each other because we didn't have class together, and he was horrible to my friends. I literally danced around my kitchen and served myself ice cream after we broke up, I was so happy lol. But for a first boyfriend, I think we lasted a pretty long time as disconnected as we were. Seven months ain't bad lol.
I was in color guard this year for our school's marching band and we made it to state for the first time in school history which was awesome.
At the beginning of the summer, right after school let out, I had spinal fusion surgery for my scoliosis and mainly spent this summer recovering from it. I literally had to relearn how to walk and had to have help with literally everything (bathing, using the bathroom, getting out of bed or out of a chair, etc). I have this awesome scar that goes from where my back meets my neck to right about my butt. It's huge. And guess what? I gained two pounds because of all the metal inside me and I set off metal detectors. It's so funny; I love to tell people that I'm a cyborg (mainly the little kids who don't understand). I have two metal rods in me and nineteen screws. I also have a hook in place of a screw at the top part of my spine because surprise, surprise, I'm missing a piece of my spine. Literally, no one had any idea about it until they sliced me open. The x-rays never showed anything. It's so weird. I can't lift anything over twenty pounds which is gonna be a problem because my bookbag for school weighs around forty pounds.
*END OF LIFE UPDATE*
Anyway, I made a playlist for Zia on Spotify. It's filled songs that remind me of her and songs I think she'd listen to. If you want more songs added, tell me in the comments what songs you'd like to see in her playlist. Here's the link:
open.spotify.com/playlist/3HgtavMPlxE0RwtwFhubRI?si=ab9b1a3ddb094a72
Also, Halloween is coming up and I can't think of anything I want to be. I need ideas, so I'm asking y'all to help me out.
I hope y'all liked this chapter (and I'm really sorry if it triggered anyone)!
Peace and Ancient Greece,
Sam <3