𝑻𝒘𝒐 𝑺𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝑺𝒂𝒎𝒆 𝑪𝒐𝒊𝒏 | 𝑴𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒖𝒅𝒆𝒓𝒔 𝑬𝒓𝒂

I Am Being Handed Everything I Never Wanted Including Two Dildos To Tutor Me

"THOSE NINCOMPOOPS DID WHAT TO MY BEST FRIEND?!" screeched Katie, her freckled face livid, her green eyes lit with fury. Her shaking image practically made the mist from the Iris Message tremble along with it.

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I shrank back. Katie was a very scary person when she was mad. "They beat me up and shaved my head..." I winced, realizing how bad that sentence sounded out loud.

Katie let out a bellow of rage and from what I heard, considering I could only see her from the waist up, she had once again kicked a bucket of organic fertilizer across her cabin floor (why she keeps it inside her cabin, I don't know. It stinks horribly. And she wonders why I don't like to come in her cabin often.) "I'M GONNA KILL THOSE IDIOTS! NOBODY MESSES WITH MY BEST FRIEND AND LIVES TO TELL THE TALE!" she shouted, waving her fists around. She was very close to hitting her favorite flowerpots and breaking them, which I knew would upset her even more.

I desperately tried to catch her attention by shouting her name. "Katie! Katie! KATIE!" I snapped my fingers in front of her face when she finally turned towards me, huffing and puffing. Knowing her, she would probably try to actually come to Hogwarts for real and beat the Marauders with a trowel. They would probably be terrified to even go near a Herbology class again because of her! I personally wouldn't mind if she did that but I'm pretty sure the Marauders would. "You don't need to do anything! They've been punished!"

Katie placed her hands on her hips and gave me a severe glare, reminding me a little too much of McGonagall at the moment. "Have they been expelled? Have you sued them? I know two of them are rich, don't lie to me, Blazen. Or at least suspended from school for a couple of months?" I could hear her foot tapping impatiently against the floor.

I shifted my feet uncertainly. "Well, no... but—" Katie cut me off.

"Then that's not enough! I swear to Zeus, wizards have no sense of rationality whatsoever! They'll send a person to that horrible Alcatraz place for—"

"It's Azkaban," I interrupted quietly.

"Whatever!" she snapped. "They'll send a person to that horrible Azkaban place for selling singing doorknobs to mortals—"

"They're called Muggles here..."

"I don't care! It's a stupid name for them anyway!" she growled. "They'll send a person to that horrible Azkaban place for selling singing doorknobs to mortals but they won't send some teenage boys to it even though they've harassed, assaulted, and almost killed you on multiple occasions?! It's so stupid! It's sick!" She ended her rant and turned towards me with a cherry-red face, breathing hard.

"I think it's because they're minors that they're not going to the prison..." I mumbled to Katie. "They don't have juvie here."

Katie snarled. "That's ridiculous! What do they do with the kids who have committed crimes then?"

I bit my lip. "Um, nothing, I think... unless it's really serious of course," I added hastily when I noticed Katie open her mouth once more.

A muscle jumped in Katie's cheek. "And what exactly do they do if it's really serious, if I may ask?" Katie asked me.

Sweat trickled down my neck. "They expel the kid from school and snap their wand in half."

Katie's nostrils flared. "That's it? Seriously? They do realize the kid could just go buy a new wand and transfer to a new school outside of the U.K., right? They could come to Ilvermorny or some other school! That's where you planned to go before you moved, right? They could even make a new identity for themselves if they felt like being extra!"