Matthews Dunlop.
I couldn't get enough of what happened last night at my crib. My feelings were all mixed up from the sweet sensation and weird action that was caused. She kissed me and not just slightly. Her lips locked on mine causing her tongue to thrust into my mouth. It felt good and I enjoyed how it made me feel even though it was the wrong moment for it to happen. But I couldn't stop wondering what led her to kiss me. What was she feeling? Does she feel the same way for me this whole time? We weren't able to talk about her feelings after I said mine.
This felt awkward. My friendship was over. Something I was afraid of losing due to the way I developed feelings. She never said anything after that. I needed to get clarification. Maybe she was a bit sad after Kadjiri mocked her ass up at the party. His audacity for me. I wished I caused him more injuries than the bruises he had. It was sad watching my best friend being the victim of his silly games. She was blinded by feelings which made her not listen to the things I had to say back then. Maybe it wasn't love but I can't decide or speak for what she felt in her heart.
For a moment, I worried a bit about how she was doing and the things she might be going through. Putting a call to her won't be a bad idea at the moment but after what happened last night, she'd put me on her ignoring list. Was she intoxicated? I doubt. She never drank any alcohol since when we were little. Poor Elena would be on her sleeping bed, wondering why she didn't listen to her only best friend.
I lay on my bed staring at the ceiling. I smiled at it for it looked very beautiful at that point. My mind was relieved a bit since I tried not to worry much about the tight situation I was in. I took a deep breath and exhaled loudly. My mind was all made up to see Elena in her crib. This opportunity shouldn't be missed.
Mom and dad sat in the parlor watching some news on the television. The plan was to sneak out without getting noticed since they liked getting into my business all the time. Something my mom was known for especially. She never heard me complain about it but it was hard to keep up. They were all concentrating on their screen as they enjoyed each other's presence, wrapping themselves up in their arms. All my eyes could see what love in the air. It hurt when you can relate to that kind of feeling. Cuddling your partner so tightly while laying on the cushion and staring at something beautiful. I was happy they were able to stay together for this long. Well, I needed to get a love story for myself.
"Not so fast young man," I heard mom's voice as I tiptoed towards the exit door, finally almost reaching for the door handle. She was still watching her favorite Tv show with dad while I paused at the sound of her voice, waiting for her head to turn back.
"How did you know I was leaving? You both were glued to the screen basically," I was still standing, looking shocked at how she sensed my movement. Probably I should've been honest from the start.
"Matthew I'm your mother," she said in a high pitch. She was right, being all sensitive about her environment and what went on around it. I shouldn't be surprised since she had been like that since I was a kid. Anytime I try to sneak out or do something secretively, she'd always find out about it. She had her ways. My job was to head out before she get all suspicious.
"Where are you going to?" She asked further.
"I'm going out to see a friend," I answered, still standing and looking uneasy. She doesn't have to know my whereabouts.
"Since when did you start lying about your outings?" Dad added. It shouldn't be getting more intense than this.
"I'm not being secretive. You guys don't have to go know everything," I rolled my eyes and folded my arms. That was me being a drama queen.
"Do you have a girlfriend already? Honey, I think our son is in love," Dad faced mom and they all got giggly. If they didn't stop me, I'd have been getting myself a girlfriend by now.
"No!" Firmly, the words came out. My face has my feelings all over it. I wondered and avoided eye contact with the situation. It was even harder to lie without having to look at their faces. "Come on Mom. I'm just going to see Elena." It finally slipped out.
"Something you should have said a long time ago. You can go anyways," She waved her hand to the door, a sign for me to leave then cuddles her husband back while they watched the tv. A silent energetic 'yes' came out of my mouth with my hand representation of power. I was being all dramatic. An unusual thing love has made me do. I got outside quickly and took a quick ride on my bike. The faster I get to her place, the better. With my tension getting the best of me, I shouldn't be judged for the way I was reacting.
In a jiffy, I approached her place and pulled over just to catch my breath. I moved at a really fast pace, causing me to lose my strength at the end. All of it needed to be revived back. My bike was parked and I squatted to the ground. There wasn't a rock or a stool to sit upon, my improvisation wasn't that good. I inhaled deeply and exhaled. It felt like a weight lifted off my shoulders. A good time to be alive.
I reached the door and lifted my hand to knock since they had no doorbell. My second thought came in a different mind of its own. Maybe I was rushing it and not giving her time to think about her actions or she regretted it so bad that she might ignore me or shut the door at me. Different thoughts ran in my head like they were arguing. My doubts were in me but I needed to man up to my fears.
Someone answered my knocks. Sounded like Elena herself but my hopes shouldn't be lifted way up. My hands were folded together with my head facing the ground. The longer they took to get to the door, the more my tensions were wilding in my veins. I needed to know where our friendship was leading. To end or to the end of time. A personality opened the door slowly, checking who it was.
"Matthews?" Elena jolted up with her eyes shunned bright. She wasn't expecting someone like me to be here at the moment after the whole drama we had. I couldn't help but see that she looked pale and unkempt. Her hairy was looking messy which looked like she had laid on her bed all day. We remained silent for a bit, wondering into our eyes seeking what our mouths could have cleared up. Her hands ran into her hair, arranging it to look a bit presentable before she finally said.
"I wasn't expecting you to visit," she stammered a bit. Her words weren't coming out smooth. Another reason to wonder if truly everything was going to be fine between us. I took up the step to further our conversation but my words weren't adding up. This felt like two strangers trying to get along at their faith date.
"Yeah. I'm sorry for not informing you earlier but we need to talk," that felt sharp like I was pierced in my chest. I shouldn't have said that. At that period, all I could think of was how I was going to enter the ground.
"Sure. But first, you want to come in or stay outside?" She asked to decide. I was watching out for the odds. I wasn't sure if I was going to stay there for long but a quiet room will be enough for us to talk and relax our minds. I answered. I walked into the apartment after she let me in and sighted her mom busy cleaning the dining table and chairs. Her dad sat at the parlor, engrossed by the newspaper he was reading. I wondered if he does that in this modern age.
I greeted them with a smile. It has been a long since I've set my eyes on them. Hugging or embracing them should've been perfect at this point but there wasn't a time to spare. They answered me with so much joy, especially mom. Her face was filled with the biggest smile anyone could have. She was just a happy soul. Her dad didn't notice me like that but I had enough liberty in their house. I was trusted since we had known each other for a long time.
We got to her room at a slow pace and I sat at the reading table. Her room seemed a little bit unkempt and messy. Her laundry wasn't done yet and her bed wasn't laid well. That didn't stop me from getting in and having my sit. My motive wasn't achieved yet.
"Sorry, my room is looking this way. I haven't had time to arrange it yet," she apologized for what I mentioned earlier but it wasn't a big deal.
"It's no problem."
We both sat silently in the room, wondering our eyes all over the room. I tapped my lap repeatedly finding out the words to say which won't make me sound insane. Elena looked uneasy. She couldn't maintain straight eye contact with anything at all. The room was getting pretty intense.
"So what do you want to talk about?" She broke at silence at last.
"About.. about us," It was able to slip out from the tip of my tongue. "Yes we had a little, you know, last night and it was pretty amazing but I need to know where I stand. Are we still friends?"
"Of course we are. Nothing is going to change that. We are best friends," It sounded confident coming from her.
"Even though I confessed my feelings towards you? I mean I didn't get a reply but we kissed and I don't know what it means."
"I don't know what it means either. Probably I wasn't in the right state of mind or my emotions were wilding through my veins. I don't know." That broke my heart so fast. I mean she sounded so unsure and confused. I shouldn't have gone with this idea.
"I think I've gotten my answer. I should be taking my leave then."
"You can't possibly be leaving so soon," Her voice sounded so sad, like a puppy seeking its master's love. Her head was laid low, facing the ground with her index finger constantly tapping the bed.
"I have to," I was already disappointed and I needed not to elongate it at all. "I hope you'd be available for the prom. With the whole thing that happened, I still want you to come." She gave me a short-sided smile. I was already positive about the prom without hee answering my question.
I stood up to take my exited and she did too to escort me out of her premises. The short time I had spent made me realize that I shouldn't be rushing things and I shouldn't expect the best of things to happen. Giving it time will put it on track. On my way down to the exit door from upstairs, I greeted her parents goodbye and they waved at me before I got outside the exit door.
"I'll see you in school then," I said in assurance and waved goodbye at her. She smiled in reply and watch me leave. I turned and took a few steps away from her house when I heard her yell my name.
"Wait!" She said and ran after me, causing me to hair at the sidewalks. She rushed towards me and hugged me tightly. I felt helpless but I returned the same energy. As she turned to leave, a kiss was left on my lips. She ran quickly to her house and left me shocked and at a still point.
At that moment, my excitement was triggered and I didn't know how to express my joy that I had high hopes for her but everything took a U-turn when I got a call from Clara.