Chapter Fifteen…
“Who was that?” Mel called when she heard me shut the door again.
“Cold caller.” I lied. “He wanted to sell me insurance for my…windows.” I made up, instantly scolding myself for coming up with such a stupid lie. Plus, my voice broke, which made it even more unbelievable.
I didn’t care though and simply scampered upstairs, needing the refuge that being in my bedroom seemed to bring and trying to avoid any comments Mel made referring to my emotions. As soon as I arrived, I shut the door and burst into uncontrollable sobs, hoping she couldn’t hear me from the living room.
I wrapped my arms around myself and slid down the door, unable to hold in my grief any longer. I’d lost him. I’d actually lost him. There was no coming back from this. He was my teacher. Mr. Armstrong. And that was it. Full stop.
That made me simply cry harder. I could still feel the lingering effect of our kiss on my lips and wished he was still here. We’d managed three kisses so far and it killed me to know that there weren’t any more to come. No more of those tingles I got when he touched me. No more butterflies in my stomach at the thought of him touching me, even in a simple hug. No more intense moments where the sheer connection between us shone through and it made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
No. There would be no more of that.
I was alone now. And even though I had Mel downstairs and both Grace and Matt who could support me and give me advice, it wasn’t them that I wanted. I couldn’t express myself in the same way that I could when I was around Jord. It just wasn’t the same.
My sobs subsided slightly and I forced myself to get up. Wallowing in my misery was not the way to keep Mel at bay from asking me questions. I needed to be strong - or at least pretend to be. This wasn’t good for me either.
I attempted to finish setting the camp bed up, but when I looked at it, even I could tell I’d made a mess. I didn’t attempt to rectify it however and simply opened the bedroom door and shouted to Mel that I was going in the shower.
That would buy me some more time to compose myself and eradicate the red puffiness around me eyes that gave away how much I’d been crying.
Whilst I was in the shower, I let the overly hot water scold my skin and it ended up going all red and blotchy. At least it made my eyes blend in anyway, especially since I couldn’t stop the tears when I was underneath the water anyway.
Now I had to prepare myself mentally for talking to Mel normally. I doubted I would be able to do this without giving away some tell-tale signs that I was a wreck.
I tried to keep a straight face and disguise my anguish as much as possible, but I knew it wasn’t working very well. It was no use trying any harder though and so I just braved walking downstairs and hoping that Mel didn’t notice any change in my demeanour.
I trudged into the room, forcing myself to keep the fake smile plastered across my face. I was not about to explain myself to Mel. I wasn’t about to explain myself to anyone, in fact.
“Feeling any better?” I inquired, hoping she would say she just needed to go to bed.
She sighed. “Not really. I don’t know what to do. Should I try and ring my dad and warn him of what he’s coming back to? Should I try and talk to my mum and she if she’ll at least explain herself. Or should I just sit here and wait for bad to go to worse?” She ranted, spilling her internal questions to me.
This was the part I had been dreading - the giving advice part. “I think you should try and speak to your mum.” I suggested, deciding that was the best option. There was no point in making a rash decision and speaking to her dad when she still didn’t know the full story. She at least needed to attempt to get that out of her mum before she spoke to her father and made things even worse.
She nodded. “I don’t want to go near her though. I still can’t believe she’d do something like that!” She announced incredulously.
I could tell she still somewhat in shock from both seeing her mum and this man and then being kicked out. I knew what the second one felt like and it wasn’t pleasant. Obviously I’d had Jord to run to and comfort me, but Mel only had me to come to. Well, and Leonie, but I couldn’t imagine her being very comforting.
“Just have a nights sleep and then see how you feel in the morning, it will be less surreal then.” I told her reassuringly, secretly hoping that she would accept my words of wisdom and head straight upstairs, falling to sleep as soon as her head hit the pillow so that I could struggle with my sorrow alone.
“Okay, but I don’t think I can get to sleep quite yet, can we watch a film or something?” She proposed.
I fought the urge to snap that no, we couldn’t watch a film or something, but knew I needed to be less selfish and remember that it wasn’t just me who was in a big dilemma here. “Sure, I’ll go and get the ice cream, you can pick a film.” I ordered, going to fetch the big tub I kept in the freezer for such occasions. Hopefully it would help me be less miserable as well, because I sure needed to cheer up.
After grabbing two big spoons, I returned to see that Mel had picked a Star Wars film, The Empire Strikes Back to be precise. That tugged at my heart string because it brought back the last memory I had of watching this film - with Jord. We’d been extremely close together on the sofa, and knowing that we’d never be that close again was heart-breaking.
I slumped into the sofa and promptly removed the ice cream lid, needing to drown my sorrows in stuffing my face. I grabbed a spoon and handed the other to Mel whilst settling down and watching the film that brought me a number of unwanted feelings inside me.
By the time we were half way through the film, we had run out of ice cream. I made a sound of disapproval and only then did I realise that I’d practically hogged the ice cream and the tub was practically on my lap. “Wow, you sure were in the mood for ice cream, has something happened you’re not telling me about?” She teased, not meaning anything by it, but still managing to make me feel guilty and even more miserable.
I just chuckled and tried not to make it sound too strained. I didn’t plan on making anymore comments and just sticking the tub on the coffee table to that we could keep on watching the film, but my plans were interrupted when there was yet another knock on the door.
I groaned and stood up, ready to go and find out who had dared to interfere with my plans this time. I knew it wasn’t my mother, she would have just walked in. Mel looked at me, confused. “You sure are popular tonight.” She commented.
“Can’t I just watch a bloody film in peace?!” I exclaimed, annoyed. It was bad enough that I was being forced to endure it in the first place, when all I wanted to do was sleep, but I couldn’t even do that without someone ruining it for me. If it really was a sales person asking me to insure my windows now, I was in trouble.
I didn’t even bother to look through the window and see who’s car it is this time and simply opened the door forcefully, unleashing my glare on whoever it was who’d dared to disturb my film viewing.
Matt, who was stood on the other side of the door, looked quite taken aback by my face of thunder and his eyes widened. “What’s wrong with you?” He inquired. Then he answered his own question. “I bet I can guess.”
I raised an eyebrow and him and was rewarded with a smug smirk that suited his face so well. I was hardly in the mood for his games and my glare intensified. He just tapped my nose and continued to smirk at me. “I spoke to Jordan earlier.” He told me casually.
I tried not to flinch at the sheer mention of his name. I’d been trying to forget about him, just whilst the film was playing, and had succeeded to a certain extent. Now Matt was just ripping the wound open again, especially knowing that this was apparently the topic of our conversation. “And?” I prompted, if he was waiting to tell me something, then he might as well just spill it.
Matt just looked amused. “What? All I said was that I was talking to him earlier, what makes you think there’s anything else to say.” He said innocently.
I frowned deeper, my eyebrows knitting impossibly close to one another. “Nothing.” I replied in the same sweet tone, despite my face clearly giving away my annoyance. He was just trying to rile me, and even though I wasn’t willing to admit it, it was working.
Matt just shrugged, disappointed by my lack of response. Regardless of the burning urge to ask what Matt knew about mine and Jord’s argument, I was more than happy to leave the topic alone and not relive the pain I’d suffered mere hours ago. “Can I come in then?” He invited himself in, before, without waiting for a reply, he walked past me and kicked his shoes off.
“Sure, because that question was really worth asking.” I remarked sarcastically, rolling my eyes at him. “Mel’s here though, so don’t go saying anything about Jord.” I told him seriously, ignoring the wince and constriction of my chest that came with mentioning his name.
Matt sent a confused glance, pausing in his steps and gesturing for me to stop before entering the lounge where Mel was situated. I already knew I was about to be interrogated as to why Mel was here. “Mel? I thought you’d fallen out with her - for a good reason.” Matt reminded me, as if I was stupid for even talking to her.
“I did, but I felt sorry for her.” I told him honestly. “She saw her mum cheating on her dad a while ago and I knew what it feels like to be dealing with family issues.” I informed him pointedly. “She turned up on my doorstep earlier saying she’d been kicked out, I couldn’t tell her to go away, could I? Besides, when I first found out, I told her she could always come here if she needed anything.”
Matt just shook his head. “You’re too nice.” He commented, before carrying on with the short walk to the living room.
I stepped ahead of him just as we reached there and opened the door, letting him pass. “Who was at the-” Mel cut herself short when she noticed Matt had entered the room. “Oh, it’s my brother.” She joked, remembering that had been the identity I’d assigned him to avoid my parent’s questions.
I couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped my mouth as he collapsed on the sofa, taking up the space right next to where I had been sat. “You’re taking up half my seat.” I complained, standing in front of him with my hands on my hips.
He raised an eyebrow. “If you’re going to make me sit through this rubbish, then I at least deserve to be comfortable.”
“I wasn’t the one who invited you in.” I retorted, giving in and sitting down, squashed between him and the arm rest. He just chuckled. “You didn’t even bring me any ice cream.” I couldn’t help but say.
He cocked an eyebrow. “I knew you’d had an argument.” He told me, instantly regretting his words as Mel came to life on his other side, peering over and looking at me puzzled.
“What is wrong with you? You’ve seemed kind of depressed ever since you came back down from the shower. Don’t tell me that window insurance man has brought you down that much.” She pushed for me to tell her something interesting.
I shook my head. “Let’s just say I’m dealing with some family issues.” I gave Matt a pointed look, telling him that if he dared to mention anything else then I would castrate him. “Can we just watch the film now?”
Matt didn’t say anything else, apart from to lean down and whisper in my ear, “I can guess that it wasn’t a salesperson at the door.”
I sighed. “Just leave it Matt, please.” I replied in the same hushed tone.
He shook his head but didn’t make any further comments, much to my relief. Half way through the film, I felt myself drifting off, however, unable to keep my eyes open even to watch my favourite scene.
I could barely hear the credits through my hazy half-asleep state, but I could make out the sound of Mel’s voice as she told Matt she was going to bed. Matt assured her that he would carry me up in a minute and she exited the room, I heard her shut the door softly behind her.
I knew I should open my eyes and face up to his questions about what happened between Jord and I that he seemed to know so much about, but I didn’t know if I could deal with it just now. It had been a long day and I wasn’t in the right frame of mind to endure his taunting.
So, I kept my eyes closed and hoped he would do as he said by simply carrying me upstairs and leaving. Instead, he began shaking my shoulders lightly. When I ignored him and kept my eyes closed, he flicked my nose.
My eyes snapped open. “Was there really any need for that? I was already awake!” I scolded.
He chuckled. “Why didn’t you just open your eyes then?”
“I was avoiding you.” I answered childishly.
He laughed at that, but quickly turned serious again. “So, like I said, I spoke with my brother earlier. Or at least I tried to, let’s just say he wasn’t in a very good mood. Mind you, he looked pretty content with that glass of whisky…” He trailed off, looking thoughtful.
I was horrified at the idea of Jord drinking himself into oblivion because we’d agreed that being friends wasn’t a realistic option. Matt noticed my mortified expression and simply grinned at me. “I was joking, he wasn’t drinking. He looked like he needed to be though.” He explained.
I breathed a sigh of relief. I didn’t need to be feeling even more guilty, thinking I had provoked enough guilt in Jord that he needed to be drinking whisky. “What is so important that you felt the need to come and talk to me then?” I inquired, wondering what the actual point to Matt’s visit was.
He shrugged. “I’m not just here to interrogate you about Jordan, I do enjoy your company as well.” He defended myself.
“I’m sure Lydia would have enjoyed your company also.” I pointed out, hinting, no so subtly, that she was interested in him.
“Yeah, she’s alright, but I can’t ask her about why she’s arguing with my brother, can I?” I suppose he had a good point there. “So back to your original question, I knew no one could have made Jordan as upset as he his right now, it had to be you. Besides, it was him who came to your house earlier, wasn’t it?” He guessed correctly.
I couldn’t deny something so outright and simply nodded. He really needed to leave this though, I didn’t want Matt to realise I was in just as much of a state as Jord apparently was.
“I knew it.” He muttered to himself. “So why are you arguing, or whatever it is that’s made him so depressed?”
I looked down, now it was time for me to generate some out-there lie that would convince Matt it was nothing untoward going on. Jord obviously hadn’t been honest with his brother about the problem and so neither was I. It was up to Jord to break the news on this one. Unable to form a response, I mumbled. “It’s nothing, we just had a difference of opinion on something.” Lie. Even that was a lie. We’d most definitely agreed that not speaking to each other was dreadful, yet the right thing to do.
“Liar.” Matt stated immediately, looking at me intensely. “There’s something else going on that I don’t know about.” He guessed again.
I shook my head. “No.” I stated, no conjuring up anything to back my statement up with. “We…we fell out about my dad.” I lied, trying not to flinch at the mention of the other main issue in my messed up life.
Matt raised an eyebrow. “Seriously? What could you find to argue about that?”
I shuffled awkwardly. I was at a crossroads now. I didn’t want to make Jord look really bad by making him be fighting for something really dreadful, but I also didn’t want me to be the one with the horrible suggestion and then be forced to follow it through.
It was either Jord or I that I was taking down - and if this was a more dangerous situation, I already knew who I would be saving.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Next Chapter, due to the bit of a wait, it's a bit longer!
For all those people who hate me for making Jess and Jord decide not to be friends, do not fear! It will not be forever!
Something that I forgot to mention for the last couple of chapters is my astonishment at getting over 100 fans. I was AMAZED. It was great ;) So THANKYOU! I LOVE YOU ALL. And, I'm nearly on 1000 votes all together :')
Please Vote and Comment on this :')