here's the 4th chappie :) hope you like it!! this ones gonna have some deep feelings :3 well sorta just read and you'll find out haha >>
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I woke up to be met by a wall. That's weird I don't remember having a wall beside my bed..? I rolled over, but instead of stopping I kept going rolling off of whatever I was sleeping in and onto the floor with a thud.
"MOTHERFUCKER!"I yelled in pain. Jesus that fucking hurt!
"Holy shit! Are you okay?" I opened my eyes to be greeted with the same ginger haired boy I sat on earlier at Warped Tour, hovering over me. Wait.. Am I still at warped tour? Why is he here? I am so confused.
"Yea, where am I?" He offered me his hand, I stared at it hesitant before finally taking it. It felt as if he had shocked me, my whole arm started to tingle sending a shiver up my spine. I think he felt it to because he stared at me wide eyed. I pulled my hand back looking down at the ground.
"Uh.. Uh y-you're on our tour bus." He stuttered stuffing his hands in his pockets.
"Where's Austin..?" I honestly did not want to talk to him right now.
"He's at an interview along with the others. He didn't want to leave you alone on the bus so I offered to stay here... with you." I peeked up at him. Now that I get a good look at him. He's pretty cute..
I shake my head from those thoughts. No no Kaitlyn, you'll get hurt. I'm done with boys.
"Oh..." An awkward silence fell between us. This. Is. So. Awkward...
"So... uh how are you feeling?" He broke the silence.
"Fine." I said plainly looking up at him, keeping my expression blank and unreadable.
"That's the biggest lie I have ever heard." My eyes widened an tad. What? But-- oh yea.. that's right he had seen my thigh. I sighed shaking my head unknowingly walking away toward what I assumed was the front. I sat on the couch pulling my knees up covering my face.
"You wouldn't understand..." I muttered hugging my knees closer.
"I highly doubt it. Tell me I may understand. Even if I didn't I could still help." I felt him sit next to me, still keeping his distance.
"Help? Psh, yea right. And you defiantly wouldn't understand. Now just stay out of my business and go back to being a perfect little rock star." I glared at him resting my head on top of my knees, looking at him through my hair.
"Who said I was perfect? I'm defiantly not perfect. No one is. I can help you if you just tell me what's wrong." He pushed more, getting on my nerves. Why can't he just go away and leave me alone?
"Just leave me the fuck alone ok. I'm not going to tell you shit 'cause its none of your business!" He didn't even flinch, he just looked at me with those striking brown eyes. He got closer moving my choppy black hair out of my face. I tensed at his touch. The same electrifying feeling came over me.
"Why are you so determined to push me away? All i'm trying to do is help you because I care.." He kept his hand resting on my head. I didn't like the way he was making me feel. It's all new to me. I don't know if it's a bad thing or a good thing.
I snapped my head to the side making him pull his hand away with a sigh. A tiny part of my heart ached. What are these damn feelings?
I heard a TV turn on the sound of the ESPN channel making me feel at home almost. I remember when dad and Austin used to watch that channel all the time, me and mom would always yell at them that dinner was ready but they're eyes were glued to the TV.
I really need to stop thinking of mom. It makes my heart break every time...
:- Alan POV -:
I couldn't focus on the the TV. My mind was on the black haired girl sitting on the other end of the couch curled up into a ball. It hurts me to know she thinks I won't understand her or help her. I probably sound insane right now, but I feel something towards her. I don't know what it is yet, but there's something. It kills me when she puts on that mask that doesn't allow anyone to see her feelings. It kills me that she lied to me saying she was fine when she had scars to prove she wasn't. She's far from fine. It kills me to see such a beautiful girl have scars on her thighs.. Girls, or anyone in the matter, should not have scars covering their body or on their wrist or wherever. She deserves so much better than what she has been given.
The sound of the front door opening brought me out of my thoughts. Phil came in first laughing with a monster in his hand.
"Hey Ala-" His eyes fell on Kaitlyn noticing his presence. He blinked a few times before turning back to me. "Hey Alan! How's it going?" He sat beside me taking a swing from his drink.
"Good, where's the others?"
"Austin is uh- doing his uh thing, Aaron helping him out and Tino ran off somewhere with Tony. I think they're going to prank Vic..." I chuckled to my self shaking my head. Those two.
"So when's Austin and Aaron going to be back?"
"They said 30 minutes tops." Phil got up throwing away his can. "So what you want to do? We can't do anything else, there's suppose to be a storm and all managers said for everyone to stay inside their buses. We can't have a repeat of last year." Ah, I remember that year. That was hilarious.
Kaitlyn groaned from the end of the couch, coming out of her fetal position.
"What's wrong?" I came alert, nothing can happen to Kaitlyn when Austin isn't here.
"Storms. I hate them." I slouched back in the couch.
"Oh." She fidgeted in her seat her eyes constantly flickering to the window in front of her. How scared could she possibly be of storms?
For the next thirty minutes me and Phil watched ESPN joking and laughing, Kaitlyn chuckling every once and a while. It may not have been her full laugh, but it was enough to make my heart skip a beat.
"Honey i'm home!" Austin barged in a large suitcase in hand with Aaron following behind holding a backpack.
"Who's suitcase is that?" Kaitlyn was the first to speak looking cautiously at the bags.
"Yours." Austin smirked rolling the suitcase to the empty bunk, throwing it in the bottom buck right under his. Kaitlyn jumped up fist balled up at her sides.
"WHAT!?"
:- Kaitlyn POV -:
First Austin finds me, yells at me, finds out my secret. Then a storm is coming, and now this! Oh hell no!!
"Yep, you're touring with us for the next two months." He smiled taking my backpack from his friend placing it inside the bunk with the suitcase.
"What the hell! No! I'm not touring with you Austin! What about my car! What the heck! Take me home!" I screamed waving my arms around.
"No Kaitlyn. This is the only way I can help you. I'm not letting you leave when I know my little sister hurts herself! I'm not going to do that. You are staying with me till you recover whether you like it or not. I am going to help you Kaitlyn. I'm sorry this may seem wrong and unfair, but I'm not losing you. You're my sister I have to protect you, it's my job. I love you Kaitlyn I can't let you keep harming yourself." Austin stayed calm, making sure to look into my eyes.
"I don't need your help. I can recover on my own. And I certainly don't need your protection. If it was your, so called job to protect me, you would have been protecting me Austin, but guess what? You haven't been doing that much now haven't you?" I saw the hurt and guilt flash through his eyes. The pain was obvious. What have I done? I shouldn't have said that...
"Au-"
"Kaitlyn just shut up. I'm going to help you whether you like it or not. Just, go to bed before the fucking storm comes." He turned on his heels disappearing into the back. The hurt clear in his voice,
My lip began trembling, hanging my head in shame I go to the bunk pulling the suitcase out and sliding it to the side leaning it up against the wall. I shoved the backpack to the far corner climbing in. I didn't care to change or wash my face. What I had done was uncalled for. I had let my inner thoughts come out during a fight not even thinking about what I was saying. Multiple times back in middle school and early high school I blamed Austin for all my pain, that if he wasn't in a band he would be protecting me from the pain. But he wasn't and I blamed him for that. I still kinda do, and I'm ashamed to say it... that just proves how dark and messed up my mind is.
I curled into a ball hiding my face in my hands letting the tears fall freely now. Why do I have to ruin things? Why did I have to say that to him? All he wants to do is help me. I'm the worst sister in the whole entire world. What kind of sister says those kind of things to her brother?
Again for the billionth time in my life time I fell asleep crying my eyes out.
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how'd ya like it ;) was it goood. lol sorry if it may seem a bit crapy today was a really crappy day :/ it was suppose to be a half day but it ended up being the longest :( any who enough of my ranting
VOTE COMMENT AND ALL THAT JAZZ
bye :)
~stars can't shine without darkness~