April 17 (pt. IV)
Saturday
Year 1
After the ride, everyone apologized about not being able to save me. I was busy trying to tell them that I wasn't hurt at all, so they shouldn't worry one bit.
Being thrown around is part of the ride, so I would feel like a burden if people focused to much on me instead of how much fun they had. Besides, I was the one who let go. I should've tried to hold on better.
I think the one that felt the worst was Beomgyu. After the ride was over, I got up quickly to fix myself and Beomgyu stood right beside me, checking if I was hurt.
"Taehyung, you're going to make Beomgyu cry." Jimin commented with a chuckle as he walks over to place his hand over Taehyung's shoulder.
"I'm not that sensitive." Beomgyu makes a fist at Jimin as if he was going to punch his arm.
I look over at Taehyung, my cheeks burning after remembering how he tight he held me earlier. My heart beats anxiously as I also think about how sharp his tone. Was he frustrated at me? I've never heard him speak like that before.
He makes eye contact with me and I look away. Turning to Beomgyu, I reassure him he did his best.
"I-I'm so happy.. you were the one next me..." I tell him sincerely, and when I look up to look at him, I can tell my words were enough to calm him down based on his small smile.
"Okay, then I won't worry about it anymore." He puts his hand over his heart and heaves a sigh of relief.
On our walk over to the food and drink stalls, Vivi and Sooah came up next to me. Vivi teases me a little about trying to stand up, but then tells me how the ride operator wouldn't leave her alone either. Sooah was disappointed nothing really happened to her, but that Soobin took good care of her.
"A little too vanilla for me, if you get what I mean." She shrugs playfully. "If Seolli wasn't with Taehyung, he would've been perfect for her."
I'm confused for a second since I was paired with Beomgyu, but realize she meant at the end of the ride.
I hold my hands together.
"Yeah... except why is that girl all over him?" Vivi asks me, pointing her eyes at Taehyung and Jiyoo up ahead of the group. "Are you okay with that? Do you need me to talk to her?"
I shake my head and hand before Vivi does something suddenly. "No! Taehyung can have other friends..."
"You're better than me." Vivi snorts.
Jiyoo was friends with Taehyung first, it would be wrong of me to think Taehyung could only be my friend. Except... could Taehyung be mad at me? Should I apologize?
I stare up at all the pretty cherry blossom trees, their branches over our heads. They're pretty during the day, but there's something about them at night - right now. Because of all the fairy lights strewn around for the festival, we can see them against the night sky. I'm going to have nostalgia from this one day I just know it.
I smile to myself.
Even if shortlived... I'm happy to experience this.
.
.
.
There were a lot of stalls open with food and everyone broke up to get what they wanted while Jin and Karin found us a table under the tent. I tag along with Sooah who tells Vivi and I she will treat us. We all settle on chicken skewers and steamed corn.
There is a spot at the end of the table, and when I sit down I see that Taehyung and Jimin are the only ones not back yet. Does that mean they're going to have to sit next to us?
"Karin?!" Jimin rushes to the table, setting his stuff down beside me. "Was that your grandmother running the tteokbokki stall??"
She nods proudly, her mouth full. "She looked busy or I would've introduced everyone. Oh~ but I can grab us all Soju when they close down, you know for the fireworks. Any flavor requests?"
Vivi throws her arm up in the air, exclaiming, "Yogurt! Oh- Sorry I got excited."
Everyone laughs, Karin pointing a finger gun at her. "I got you."
"Taehyung and I vote for Strawberry." Jimin says while sitting down. Taehyung gives a thumbs up from beside Vivi.
I smile and nod along with everyone who agrees. I haven't had Soju before, so I didn't have a clue about what flavor was good. Realistically, I wasn't going to drink anyway.
I eat my food carefully, sneaking peeks over at Taehyung. He's holding a conversation with Sooah and Vivi while the rest of the table talk. It's just like how it was when he came over. He gets along with them pretty well.
I rub my arm, feeling awkward and out of place.
"What are you majoring in, Seolli?" Jimin asks me, knocking me out of my thougths.
"Hm?"
Jimin laughs. "Have you decided yet?"
Oh. I shake my head. "Maybe something in medicine or healthcare. I haven't thought about it too much. Not like a doctor, but some role in the office..."
I guess I should think about it a little more. Depending if I were going to stay at this college or transfer out.
I lift my head up, realizing that I was rude not to ask Jimin. "You?"
"Business Management. I mean look at this face. How could I not be CEO one day?"
I laugh. He's right.
Now that I think about it, I don't know what Taehyung is studying either. If we're studying different paths, we might not even have class together again.
I try to bury the sad feeling away with more chicken.
.
.
.
"Everyone get closer, hold your cups out." Jin opens a bottle of Soju in an area just before the grounds to watch the fireworks.
I roll the plastic shot cup in my hand while everyone fills theres up.
"Another!"
I was lucky for several Another!s before Jin realizes that I hadn't filled mine up.
I blush. "J-just one."
"You sure? No pressure." Jin grins widely as he fills my cup before I can respond.
"Thanks." I turn away a little as I take a small sip, my eyes widening when I realize that it actually tastes good.
Hearing a small chuckle, I look to find Taehyung watching me.
"Alright~ Now let's find...."
As my eyes were wandering around, a familiar face stands out in the crowd. "Eun...?" My mouth barely even moves as I process that it could have been her.
Without thinking, I step away and try to follow her path in the crowd. "Eunha?"
It's Eunha!
My heart beats rapidly as I don't even dare blink in case I miss her. I can't lose her this time. Not again. If only I can raise my voice a little higher.
Tears prick my eyes at the thought of missing my chance to find her, all these feelings starting to wave over me. But it becomes a reality, when the sea of people swallow her. I push past the same people, but she's not in that direction any more.
I gasp and turn every way, hoping for any clue to where she turned. Gripping onto my shirt, I panic.
I just want to talk to her again... I want to tell her I'm sorry... I want to know why she left...
I'm so hurt.
"Seolli! Seolli."
I look up at Taehyung standing in front of me.
Swallowing the lump in my throat down, I bury everything back within me.
"Did you know someone...?" He calmly asks me. "You just ran..."
I shake my head while looking at my feet, my voice lost for the moment.
I want to go home.
I've ruined today.
I want people to not have to worry about me.
But I can't move my body.
"Let's-"
"Kim Taehyung?" a low voice interrupts us.
I frown and squint up to see a trio standing right in front of us.
Taehyung steps in front of me to greet them. I keep my head down.
"Ah, friend~ Long time no see, friend."
Their footsteps draw nearer.
"This your sister?" A different voice chimes in.
"It's been a long time," Taehyung responds.
"It has, hasn't it? Our Taehyung has grown up. What school are you going to? Where can we find you?"
"Myongji College."
Myongji?
"That far, huh? Why? Were you trying to run away from us?" They laugh.
"Of course not. Let's catch up another time. Sorry."
Taking my hand, Taehyung guides me through the crowd.
I'm the reason he couldn't catch up with his friends just now... aren't I?
A wail echoes through the sky, and I look up to see the first firework explode.
"Up there!" Taehyung's bubbly voice is a stark contrast to how I feel, it catches me off guard. He pulls me and I try my best not to stumble as He leads the way up some stairs on the side of an apartment building. He stops at a good spot where we wait for more fireworks to shoot up.
I hold onto the wall, staring at the sky as I watch another gold shimmer against the sky.
I drag my fingers against the edge. Because I ran away from everyone, Taehyung isn't watching the fireworks with them.
I bite my lip and turn to him. He's comfortably leaning on the edge as he watches the sky with a smile.
When he turns to me, I can't help but cry because I feel so sorry.
Taehyung is such a nice person.
And I'm scared to lose him too because of the way I am.
I cover my face when I hear him come closer. "Seolli, what's wrong?"
Sniffling, I try to get myself to stop. It's embarrassing.
I feel a gentle pat on my head. "It was scary, wasn't it? Were you lost trying to chase after someone?"
That's not it, Taehyung.
"Did something also happen? Did... Did those guys-"
I shake my head and wipe my tears away. "I'm sorry."
"For?" He asks in a gentle voice.
"F-for," I think of my words carefully, not wanting to say anything that would just make me seem like I was playing the victim. "For not staying put."
Both times.
His eyes draw up in thought. "Mm... I don't think it was done on purpose on your part... and in the end you're okay... Are you worried that it bothered me?"
I crinkle my eyebrows.
"Thought so..." He leans against the wall and smiles. "Thank you for thinking about me. I must have done something to make you think I was bothered. Was it the way I talked to you? To be honest, it bothered me to... I tell myself to be gentler but at that moment I was so upset that your first time on the ride lead to that... I wasn't upset at you, but upset that I should've helped you out sooner. I'm sorry."
A firework burst over us and I jump, forgetting where we are.
"It's miscommunication, but we're okay now. We're going to be okay."
Hearing those words is a huge weight off my shoulders. We're going to be okay.
Taehyung lifts his hand up, and I realize he wants me to high five him. I smile a little and lift mine back to touch up against his. At the last second, he scoots it back and squints his eyes at the sky as I extend further, our hands touching. When I pull back the brightness of the moon almost blinds me.
He laughs, crossing his arms over the balcony wall. "You know... I would have wanted it to be just you and I right now anyway."
I copy him, blinking my eyes.
He explains, "It's fun with everyone, but I feel the most myself around you."
I think about that, especially how I feel it's the same for me. "Me too."
He grins.
Turning back toward the fireworks, we watch the rest of the show. Toward the end, we extend our hands out and try to catch the cherry blossoms fluttering in the air.
"How many did you catch, Seolli?"
"None," I whisper in shame.
He brings his hand over to hover over mine. I open mine to receive the ones he managed to get.
"How about now?" He asks.
"Three!" I play along.
He grins widely in return.
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Author's Note;;
Gosh, this was such a long chapter. I hope that it made sense and was an enjoyable read. A lot of it is set up for whats to come in the future. I'm so excited to see who picks up on what. Like I mentioned on my message board before, this is a story that will be enjoyable as a re-read as well. Lots of things you won't believe you missed. hahaha