"If you want me to read this in front of a camera for the entire country," you announce, "you'll have to drug me."
"That," Shadis grumbles, "can be arranged."
You resist the urge to flip up your middle finger.
Nine in the morning came much too fast, but here you are, sitting in that conference room with at least a dozen other people. Shadis and Erwin, obviously, and a few other official-looking people whose names you've already forgotten. Levi is at your side, obviously, and Hange sits on your other side. Krista- sorry, Historia- and Armin are here, but Mikasa and Eren aren't. There's two others that look to be around their age that you don't recognize: one with sandy brown hair and the other with dark brown hair and freckles.
The proposed script in question is on full display on a massive projector screen at the head of the table. The plan is to find some time today to break into the Capitol's livestream and broadcast something for the rebellion- if the Capitol is playing to every possible screen in the country, then your message can reach the same audience.
The problem is figuring out what the message is. The team that made the first script concept certainly has no fucking clue. "People of Panem," you read sarcastically. "The time is now. We must unite together to take down the Capitol."
"I suppose it does sound a bit wooden," one of the higher ups muses.
You raise your eyebrows. "You suppose?"
"It can be worked on," Erwin interrupts. "But we can establish the main message we want to get across."
The blond man stands up and walks to the screen, picking up a writing utensil. He clears a section of the screen to write on, then turns to the table. "We want to unite," Shadis says, arms crossed from his spot at the table.
Erwin writes it down. "What else?"
"The time to fight is now," someone else suggests.
You roll your eyes. "Now you're just reading the script."
"What's your brilliant idea, then?" Shadis grumbles, glaring at you.
"Tell the Capitol to go fuck themselves and tell the districts to buckle up."
"For fuck's sake."
"We want to tell the districts that District 12 was bombed," Armin pipes up, looking to Erwin. "It'll invoke some fear, I think. That this is real and could happen to anyone. But it'll show them what the Capitol is willing to do."
Erwin nods, and moves to write. Shadis nods along. "That part- that this could happen to any of them."
When the victor backs away, there's four bullet points. He looks to you. "Is this more manageable?"
"Unite the districts," you read, crossing your arms. "Our fight is now. District 12 was bombed, and anyone could be next." You shrug. "Sure."
"Say it like that, I'm sure it'll go over well," one of the military mutters.
"Let her say it how she wants," Levi says from beside you. Fuck, it makes you want to kiss him again.
The military man meets Levi's eyes. "You really think that's our best course of action?" he says incredulously. "Going in without a plan?"
"For her? Yeah."
"He's got a point," Hange chirps from the other side of you. God, you want to hug them. "Look, I'm serious. Think about it for a second. Why are people going to listen to her?"
"Because she's openly gone up against the Capitol and she's won," Erwin says from his spot by the board. He points at Hange. "Keep going."
Hange grins; their smile is contagious, and you start to grin as well. "And what kinds of things did she do that made her stand out?"
"Her interview," one of the men that you don't recognize says. When you look to him, he waves awkwardly. "I'm Jean. Marco and I are going to be your camera crew," he says, gesturing to the other guy at the table that you don't know. You wave awkwardly. "But yeah- your interview. That did it for me."
"The bats in that cave," one of the military guys says. You raise your eyebrows at him, surprised that he's speaking up. "Cameras were shitty, so we couldn't see, but we heard you two talking," he explains, looking between you and Levi. "I remember it. Twenty-one bats and twenty-one arrows. You don't miss. And you were the only group facing those mutts- so it felt like a personal attack from the Capitol. And you won."
You're feeling mildly embarrassed, being put on the spot like this. It's flattering, really, but it's just shit you've done.
"For me," Erwin says, and you look back to him, "it was your training score. That twelve."
There's several hums of agreement from around the table. "How'd you get your score that high?" Historia asks quietly. She hasn't spoken a word until now.
Hange snickers next to you. You shoot them a mock glare before you sigh and say, "I shot the head gamemaker's champagne glass and told them if they weren't going to watch all twenty-four tributes to not bother having twenty-four tributes."
You're met with a lot of dropped jaws. It makes you grin.
"Are you serious?" Levi asks, and you turn to look at him. You pinch your lips and nod- you hadn't realized that you'd never told him. "Fucking hell," he mutters in disbelief, shaking his head at you.
"C'mon, it was fun," you defend weakly. "And it got me a twelve."
"Why didn't you tell me that sooner?"
"You didn't ask!"
"Was that your plan?" Erwin interrupts, and everyone around the table looks to him. He's looking at you. "Did you go into your training session planning on shooting at the gamemakers?"
"Probably," Levi mutters next to you.
You kick him from under the table. "Might I remind you, you were the one to tell me to fuck the Capitol up," you tell him. You look back to Erwin. "No, I didn't go in planning to shoot at anyone."
"And your interview," he says. "Was that planned?"
You shrug. "I knew I wanted to stir something up. I didn't have lines or anything."
Erwin nods, then points at you. "There it is. Some of your best moments, the ones that people remember- none of that was scripted," he says. "So I say we give her some points that we want her to hit and let her try it out herself."
Hm. Maybe Erwin's not that bad. You straighten up, pleased, and glance around the table. No one's protesting. Eventually, Shadis mutters, "fine. But if this gets fucked beyond belief, we're sticking with scripts from here on out."
"Sold," you say.
Erwin nods. "Alright. Let's get ready."
You stick by Levi and Hange as the entire group moves to yet another room. It looks similar to the operations room, with lots of screens and visuals, but there's a small area set up for filming, with a massive green screen and props off to the side.
Hange whisks you away to a section marked off by a curtain, and you vanish behind it to change. It's an all-black set of what feels like body armor. "Is this bulletproof?" you ask excitedly as you exit your changeroom space, pulling at the chest plate.
"Nah," Hange says, "but if you ever go into the field, you bet your ass I'm making you some bulletproof stuff. What do we think?"
You spin in a circle. "I like it," you say with a grin. It's lightweight, and combined with black boots, you feel pretty badass. You turn to Levi, who's standing next to Hange with his arms crossed. "Well?" you ask. "Am I not the hottest thing you've ever seen?"
"Not sure about hottest, darling," Hange says, grinning. "Because this one doesn't light on fire."
"I sure as hell hope it doesn't," Levi grumbles.
You're escorted over to the set up, where the two boys you met earlier- Jean and Marco, if you remember correctly- are setting themselves up. You take a few steps towards them, then pause; Levi and Hange haven't moved. "You're not popping in?" you ask.
"This one's all you," your stylist says, shaking their head. "You got it!"
"You'll be fine," Levi dismisses, and his gaze locks with yours. "Just use your usual charm and you'll kill it."
"My usual charm," you repeat, grinning. "Lots of that to go around."
You head out towards the set up. Shadis cuts you off when you're halfway there, stepping in front of you. "Following the script would serve you well," the president of District 13 says, eyebrows rising as he glares at you.
You salute him mockingly. "Aye aye, captain."
Without giving him a chance to respond, you step around towards your camera crew. "I'm Marco," the guy behind the camera says, the one with dark hair and freckles. He sticks out his hand. "Hi. Big fan."
You shake, looking towards the other guy. "Jean, right?"
"Yeah." He's holding some sort of tablet in his hands. "We've got that original script on this right here, so I can hold it up behind the camera."
"Yeah, don't even bother, I'm not going to read it," you dismiss, moving towards the center of the green screen, where they've set up a stool. You hop up, getting yourself comfortable. "When do we roll?" you ask, looking from Marco and Jean to all of the people gathered around computers behind them.
Jean looks to Marco, who's holding the massive camera, and then back at you. He shrugs. "The Capitol's broadcasting right now," he says, "so as soon as the tech team can hack into the stream."
Hm. So you've got one shot at this. Suddenly, you feel a bit nervous, and you look over to Levi and Hange. Hange flashes you a brilliant grin and two thumbs up; Levi's arms are crossed, and when you meet his gaze, he raises his eyebrows as if to say there's no way you're nervous right now.
"Just be my usual, charming self," you mutter. "Okay. I'm good whenever you are."
You look to where Erwin is standing off to the side and give him a thumbs up. He nods and looks to the tech team, who start typing away. In the background, you can see a lone computer screen with the Capitol logo shining brightly on it. That must be the broadcast.
You're busy fidgeting with your sleeves when someone calls, "I got in! I got in- cameras on in three!"
And just like that, Marco's got the camera up, and a tiny light starts to blink. Jean gives you a thumbs up. "I'm on air?" you ask. Marco gives you a thumbs up. "So everyone can hear me?" A nod. "Stellar."
You look towards the camera. The script comes to mind, and judging by the glare Shadis is sending you, he'd like you to follow it. But it just feels so rigid, so practiced. You've gotten where you are by going off script, by not listening to Pixis. By being real.
Fuck the script. "Hi," you say, leaning forward in your seat. "Would you look at that? I'm not dead. But you certainly gave it your best shot, didn't you, Rod?"
Your eyes flicker up. Shadis's expression hasn't changed, but Erwin is nodding slightly.
Encouraged, you continue. "I missed your deadline, sorry about that," you say, crossing your arms. "Was sort of passed out after being electrocuted and all. Not that you cared- you would've bombed District 12 anyways, wouldn't you?" Part of the script comes to mind, and you add, "if they're willing to bomb District 12, then who's next?"
Shadis looks slightly more content. You call that a win. "I think this is it, folks," you say pleasantly. "We've all suffered at the hands of the Capitol. Starvation. Abuse. Exploitation. Living in shitty conditions. The Capitol abuses its power, and obviously, Rod Reiss has no intention of letting that power go. So, I'm going to take it.
"We," you amend. "We're going to take it. Because I can't do this by myself." Jean is spinning a finger at you, the sign to wrap it up- you've maybe got ten seconds. "This isn't the last you'll hear from me," you say boldly, grinning at the camera. "I'm pretty damn hard to kill. Us, us in the districts- it's us against them. And there's way more of us than there are of them."
You lean forward even more. "I'm coming for you, Rod. See you soon."
You grin at the camera. The tiny blinking light goes off, which you think symbolizes the end of the broadcast. You let out a breath that you didn't realize you were holding- that was a lot of pressure, all at once, but you think it went okay.
Beaming, you look at the crew. "Well?" you say pleasantly. "I think that went well."
Most of them are staring at you like you've got a screw loose. You can't say you blame them. Shadis looks like he wants to smack his head off of a wall.
But not Erwin. Erwin is smiling at you. He looks proud.
"Nailed it, Em," Hange whisper-shouts, and you look over to see them grinning at you. Levi is standing next to them, arms crossed and smirking. You straighten yourself up, pleased. The only opinions you truly care about are Levi's and Hange's- but if Erwin's as much on your page as he looks, then maybe you can learn to value him too.
You stand up and do a mock curtsy with an invisible skirt to the entire operations room, then look to Jean and Marco. "Well?"
"Well, you're definitely photogenic," Marco muses, eyes glued to a small screen on the side of the recording device. "You nailed it."
"You rehearse that?" Jean asks you.
You shrug. "Nah. I'm just surprised I didn't curse."
He frowns. "You did."
"I did? When?"
"You said something about shitty conditions."
"That hardly counts, I could've said so much worse."
You make your way over to Hange and Levi. Your stylist hugs you, grinning, and starts rambling about some of the things you said. You make eye contact with Levi over their shoulder, which just makes your grin widen: he looks amused.
People start to file out, and you go to get changed. You're starting some training today in prep for an upcoming mission- something you don't know much about. You know that your friends from District 12- Oluo, Eld, and Gunther, at least, not Petra- are joining in, eager to get in the fight. You're excited to get to training: you want to shoot things.
When you exit your changeroom, back in your comfortable hoodie and sweats, almost everyone's gone, save for Erwin. "Did I miss something?" you ask, fidgeting with your sleeves. "Everyone left like they'd announced we're about to get bombed or something."
"A fantastic sense of humor," Erwin notes. "No, I just wanted a chance to talk to you."
You frown. "Do I have to listen?"
"I'd rather you did."
"Fine. Talk away."
Erwin rolls his shoulders back. "It's nothing serious," he says. "I just wanted you to be aware that I am completely behind you and whatever you want to do. Shadis may represent District 13, but he is merely playing host to this rebellion. He may be angry on behalf of the pain his district has faced, but he will never personally understand the devastation that the Capitol brings."
Sure. Whatever. You raise your eyebrows, as if questioning whether or not he'll say anything relevant.
"Shadis and everyone here in District 13 have never personally faced a tragedy at the hands of the Capitol," Erwin says. "Their ancestors, yes. But us? We have faced them and we have come out of it with a need for revenge, for justice. Because what about this is fair?"
Nothing about this is fair- that, you can agree on. "Okay," you agree. "And?"
He smiles. "Just know that I am always on your side. I want nothing more than to see the Capitol fall, and I truly believe you're our best chance of making it happen."
He sticks out his hand. You frown at it for a second before you stick out yours too, shaking.
"I hate them," you say plainly. "I hate them more with every passing day, and I want nothing more than to burn the president at the stake as his empire crumbles around him."
Erwin shakes your hand one last time. "Then we're on the same page," he says easily. "We want to see an empire fall."
You let go. "Maybe you do," you reply, "but I want to see an empire burn."
"That seems very on brand for you."
Your lips twitch. "Is that all?"
"That is all," he confirms. "I'll see you tomorrow for our mission planning. Although, I should warn you- I believe the council wants to go to District 12."
"What?" you say before you can process his words properly. "Why?"
"To truly showcase the destruction." Erwin walks towards the door and you follow, arms crossed. "Many might believe that you're simply lying about District 12. Many may choose not to believe it. We need to show what the Capitol's truly capable of."
Fair enough. You've been wanting to see the destruction for yourself, actually, so this might not be the worst thing. "Alright," you agree. "Thanks for the heads up."
"Good luck with training."
"Yeah, like I'll need it."
"I'm sure you won't."
Erwin says goodbye to you, then heads one way down the hall. You head the other way, going towards the elevators. You want to head back to your room and change for training- plus, that's probably where Levi is, and you want to see him.
This reliance on Levi is freaking you out a fair bit, but you really can't help it. After yesterday- kissing and smiling and falling asleep together in his bed- you really, really can't help it. You get it now, people who get into relationships. You can't remember the last time you'd ever gotten a good night's sleep like that.
You'd woken up with your face buried in his shoulder and his arm loosely wrapped around your side. It was so foreign, so strange to you, but... god, do you want it to happen again.
Sure enough, Levi's leaning against the wall outside your door when you turn the corner. He looks up when he hears your footsteps and when he straightens up, evidently pleased to see you, you can't help but smile. "What did Erwin want?" he asks when you get close enough.
"Just telling me that he's on my side no matter what and that Shadis is full of bullshit," you say pleasantly, pushing open your door.
Levi follows you into your room. "Anything in specific?" he asks.
You gesture for him to shut the door and he does. "Not really," you confess, going to your dresser and rifling around for a good top for training. "Just that Shadis doesn't really have any experience with the Capitol, not like we do."
"He's not wrong," Levi grumbles.
"Just because Shadis has a stick up his ass doesn't mean he's awful," you say cheerily, stripping yourself of your hoodie. "Ah, well. I couldn't give two shits about him."
You look back to Levi. His gaze is pointedly fixed on the side wall, purposefully not looking at you. You're in your sports bra, a nice comfy thing that Hange picked out for you- it's not like you're nude. "What," you say cheekily, grabbing the shirt you found in your drawer. "Don't want to look at me?"
He scoffs, crossing his arms. "Giving you privacy, dumbass."
"So you don't want to look at me."
"Of course I-" Levi groans, tipping his head back to glare at the ceiling. "Fuck off, Em. I hate you."
"Do you?" you question, pulling your shirt over your head.
"When you tease me like this, yes."
"I tease you all the time, dumbass. You're an easy target."
"Then I've got a lot of hatred to go around, dumbass."
"Shame," you say nonchalantly, brushing past him to go to the door. "I'm not nice enough to look at, I guess."
Levi notices that you're changed and leaving your room, and he falls into step with you. "You've got to be the biggest fucking idiot on the planet to think I don't want to look at you," he grumbles. "You know that."
"I do," you agree. "I just like to make fun of you."
"I hate you."
"Ditto, darling." You close your door behind you, then turn to Levi, smiling brightly. "Shall we?"
Levi stares at you for a second longer, then sighs, but there's the faintest trace of a smile on his face that makes your grin widen. "Fine."
The two of you start towards the elevators. "Not to change the topic," you say, "but I wish you'd told me more about Erwin earlier. We're a lot alike, you know."
"You're nothing like Erwin."
You roll your eyes. "Sure, I've got two arms and he's only got one. There's one big difference."
"I'm serious." You glance at Levi, and his expression is deadpan. "You're nothing like Erwin," he repeats. "And you should hope you never become anything like him."
Never become anything like him? There's something deeper there, something Levi's not telling you, but you're not really too keen to ask. "Okay," you agree. "I'll stick to being my fabulous self, then."
His lips twitch. "Please do."
You grin without meaning to. Together, you and Levi make your way towards the training center.
It's got nothing on the Capitol, but your jaw still drops when you wander into the massive training center for the first time. There's a lot more people than there were in the Capitol center, with at least a dozen people crowded on mats, where a woman is demonstrating some takedown techniques. There's a climbing wall, an obstacle course, and a group sparring with six-foot staffs.
And then there's weapons, some ranges for practicing targeting, and there it is- the bows and arrows. God, you can't wait to get your hands on those. In a separate room, viewable through a massive glass window, you can see a shooting range- a dozen men and women lined up, wearing earmuffs of some sort and shooting anything from handguns to bulky firearms.
"Do I even need to ask where you want to go first?" Levi asks.
"Not in the slightest," you say giddily, starting towards the archery range.
His hand grabs your arm. You're wearing a t-shirt, so it's bare skin against bare skin, and it sends chills up your spine. "Go later," he says. "We're going to spar first."
You look to him, raising your eyebrows. "We are?"
"You complained that I wasn't keeping my eyes on you," Levi says. His grey eyes are locked onto you. "I can do it now."
"Sparring," you say. "Does that mean you're keeping your hands on me too?"
He nearly chokes up, but Levi says, "maybe."
God, your throat feels dry. "Is that a promise?" you manage, smirking.
His lips twitch. "Come on," he says, tugging your arm. "I'll show you a thing or two."
"Give it your best shot."
And for an hour, he does. Levi kicks the absolute shit out of you.
It's not that bad. For as blunt and curt as he is, he's a decent teacher. He's a teach-by-example kind of guy, and he demonstrates moves by actually doing them on you, and you're twisted, punched, and thrown to the ground more times than you can count.
But it's useful stuff. You know your weakness is your lack of close combat skills- you'd gotten lucky in the arena with that girl who came at you with the knife, because if she had been well versed in hand-to-hand combat, you would've been screwed. Even knowing a few simple things could help you out marvelously, even though you'd much rather keep your distance safely with your bow and arrows.
"One last one," Levi tells you when you pick yourself up off the ground for the umpteenth time.
You groan. "You said that last time."
"I'm serious."
"Fine, fine." You raise your arms in a mock fighting stance. "What now?"
"Offsetting your opponent's balance." Levi's fingers find purchase in the collar of your shirt. "Any technique can work on anyone, no matter size or strength," he continues, his other hand grabbing onto your wrist, "as long as you've got them off balance."
"Okay," you agree, because sure, why not. "So how do you-"
Levi tugs your wrist sideways and you immediately teeter in that direction. All of your weight shifts to one foot, and you feel as Levi's leg snakes behind yours, his calf pressing against yours. It's a tripping lock of some sort, and you feel him push.
Fuck no. He's done enough knocking you down; this time, he's coming down with you. You seize the front of his shirt as he knocks you back, and Levi goes down with you. You land hard on your back and Levi lets go of you so that he can shoot his hands out to brace himself, stopping himself from falling directly on top of you.
He barely succeeds. You're on your back and Levi's hovering over you, his face a few inches from yours. Your lips twitch, and an idea comes to mind. "Is this how you imagine us?" you tease quietly.
And Levi fucking locks down. It's almost comical, how fast his ears go red, how quickly his arms lock up. You take advantage of it, pushing at one of his elbows so that his arm buckles and bringing in your foot to kick at his opposite hip. Levi falls off of you and you roll, throwing yourself on top of him.
Now Levi's on his back, still breathless, and you're straddling his chest. "Or more like this?" you tease, your grin growing a bit wider.
Levi finally finds his voice. He groans, his head falling back against the padded floor. "I hate you," he grumbles.
"You're so cute," you tell him, unable to stop yourself from grinning.
"I hate you," he repeats. "Go shoot something."
Your eyes light up. "Can I?"
"Yes, you fucking minx," Levi grumbles, smacking the side of your thigh. "Go shoot things."
Excitedly, you hop up to your feet, suddenly renewed with energy. You grab your water bottle and drain the last of your water as you head towards the weapons section. Unfortunately, most of the ranges look like they're in use: a few people doing archery, a few others with spears, and even someone with a crossbow.
You wander well behind the group of people already using the ranges and grab one of the bows left on the rack. You snag a few arrows as well. You'd wait for a range, but honestly? They're boring. There's no challenge in shooting at an unmoving target. Hm...
Frowning, you look towards the climbing wall. It's got a large platform on top. Sure, why not?
You sling your bow over your shoulder, and with your arrows carefully pinched between your fingers, you start to climb. You're sore and tired from sparring with Levi (also known as getting beaten up by Levi) so it takes you a bit longer than you'd like, but eventually, you get yourself to the top.
It's not as high as the one in the training center, but it'll do. You like it up here: you like having the higher vantage point. The climbing wall in here was on one of the walls of the training area, and up at the top, it extends almost into a storage room: there's a few stacks of boxes and crates up here.
Curious, you wander deeper into the room, and sit yourself down behind a stack of boxes- like you're pretending to be hiding behind an obstacle. You ready an arrow. What can you shoot from here?
"Maybe a light," you muse to yourself, but you feel like that would just give Shadis another reason to hate you. Property destruction isn't the best idea.
You hear someone coming up the wall and you have to resist the urge to point your arrow in that direction. Instead, you look across the room to where Oluo and Gunther are tossing a massive exercise ball between themselves, laughing. Eld stands off to the side, lifting weights. Your lips twitch; it's good to see them having fun.
Like you'd expected, Levi pops up over the wall. "The range wasn't good enough?" he asks dryly as he wanders over to where you are, tucked behind some boxes. "Seriously?"
"It was boring," you say with a shrug, eye still on that exercise ball. "Say, are those just filled with air?"
Levi follows your gaze, then drops so that he's sitting down behind another stack of boxes. If you twisted, your feet could touch. "Yeah," he says. "Planning on scaring the shit out of your district friends?"
"That's the plan," you agree, shutting one eye to better line up your shot. "Hey, another thing Erwin mentioned to me- apparently we're going to go to District 12. Just another video shoot or something."
"Seriously?" You hum in acknowledgement. "Are you okay with that?"
"Sure." The ball bounces off of Oluo's head and he has to chase after it. "Might be tough, but I'll manage."
"I could come," Levi says nonchalantly.
You look towards him, frowning. "You don't have to."
"It's fine. I want to."
"Yeah, but..." you exhale, turning back to line up your shot again. "I don't know. That's my home you'd be seeing, and I mean, the Capitol blew it up, but it's still home. I don't know if..."
You trail off, not sure why you're worried about this and unable to voice your concerns. Instead, you focus on that faded red exercise ball being thrown between Oluo and Gunther.
"I know you," Levi says eventually.
You hum, eyes still trained on your target. "Sure you do."
"I know you," he repeats. "Like how I know you're just playing this up and you could've had the shot ages ago. And I know you're not going to miss, even though you're fully listening to me."
"Damn right you are," you agree. You fire.
Sure enough, your arrow flies across the large room and pierces the exercise ball while it's in the air. It pops with a loud bang that makes a couple of people scream. You grin to yourself, standing up so that you can be seen from behind the boxes, and Oluo finds where you are right away. He looks from the arrow embedded in the back wall to you. "Fuck you!" he calls.
Gunther raises both of his middle fingers at you. You laugh and wave at him, then drop back down so you're hidden behind the crates again. You turn towards Levi; your feet bump into his. "Nailed it," you say.
He rolls his eyes. "I know."
"You didn't watch my shot."
"And?"
Your lips twitch. "The faith you have in me."
Levi smirks, but then his smirk fades. "So?" he asks. "You don't want me to come along?"
"Of course I do," you say immediately, frowning at him. You like it here: hidden away behind some storage, so even in a massive room filled with people, it feels like you and Levi are in your own little world. "I just..."
You trail off again. Why is this so hard to word? Levi waits, eyebrows raised and head tilted.
Finally, you manage to get some words out. "I know I'm a bit of an open book," you say with a shrug, "but I don't think you know as much about me as you think you do. Not that I wouldn't be open to you learning more," you add. "I don't mind you coming along. Just... you know. It's home. It's weird."
Levi's quiet, not finding the need to respond. You meet his eyes; he's analyzing you, almost. You wonder what he's thinking.
Finally, he speaks. "I know you fidget," Levi says.
You frown. "Sorry?"
"You fidget with whatever's in your pockets or in your hands," he muses, almost like he's talking to yourself. "Or your sleeves, if that's all you have. You fidget. You do it because you're anxious."
Anxious. You're about to retort when Levi continues. "You've had to be. All the hunting you do, all that time alone in the forest. You have to be on your guard constantly. You fidget to keep your body moving and your mind awake, preparing for any sort of scenario. Even if you don't know it."
That's an analysis of yourself that you weren't prepared for. You can't think of anything to say in return, of anything to do other than gape stupidly at Levi.
"I know you're smart," Levi says, leaning back. "Despite your recklessness. Some of the things you do may seem brash or stupid, or driven by anger, but everything you do is thought out. You gave off the air of a hotheaded woman with little to no brains to the entire Capitol- but you're the opposite."
"I'm pretty hotheaded," you disagree, unable to disagree with anything else.
"Sure," he agrees, "but everything the Capitol's seen has been calculated. That interview, all those risks you took in the arena. Jumping down the side of the mountain, leaping between trees, lunging at the forcefield with your arrow to break it. You take a lot of risks, and they might seem foolish, but they work every single time. Because you've calculated the risk and determined that it's possible- not just possible, but probable."
It feels like Levi's looking past you, or maybe through you- into the depths of your soul, if one does exist.
"Hotheaded, sure, but you control your temper when you want to," Levi says casually, like he's not dissecting everything about you right to your face. "You're independent because you've had to be: lost your parents and then were unwilling to make strong connections because you knew you'd be up against the Capitol. You made strong connections anyways without meaning to," he adds, alluding to Petra, "even if you won't admit it.
"And that's why this scares you," Levi continues, pointing between the two of you. "Me knowing this much about you. I scare you. Because it's not something you're used to and not something you've ever wanted. You've liked being independent. It's easier for you to be on your own. And I..." he trails off, his voice quieting. "If you have the same feelings that I do, then this is a kind of connection you've never felt before."
Well, he's right about that one. He's right about almost all of it, honestly, and yes, it does freak you out a bit. "You know," you remark, "if being a soldier in a rebellion doesn't work out for you, I've heard that there's this job called a therapist or something like that. You sound like you'd be good at it."
His lips twitch. "And you deflect with humor," Levi says.
"Did you really have to add that on?" you ask, feigning exasperation. "Seriously?"
"Am I wrong?"
You sigh, willing yourself to try and be a bit more open and vulnerable, because if you ever want Levi to do the same for you, you need to be able to do it yourself. "Only about one part," you say quietly.
"What's that?"
"I'm not scared of you. Of this?" you say, pointing between the two of you. "Yes. But of you? No. You don't scare me."
"I don't scare you," Levi repeats.
"Nope."
"Why not?"
You shrug. "Why would I be scared? You'd never hurt me."
That makes Levi pause. You bite the inside of your cheek.
"...I've never done this before," you admit softly. "Let myself get to a point with someone where I'm genuinely reliant on someone. I'd like to think I'm not, but with you..."
You trail off. You're trying to find the right analogy, and Levi's soft gaze on you isn't helping.
"It's like- you touch me, you say something to me, and suddenly, I'm..." you shrug. "I'm a little less angry. Less... war torn. I really don't know what peace is supposed to feel like, since it feels like I've been fighting all my life, but I think it might feel a lot like you."
The last part comes out a bit quieter than you mean it to, but you get it out, and that makes you feel better. You're not sure you phrased it right, but you think Levi gets it, because he's...
Fuck, he's looking at you with so much warmth in his eyes that you could melt right here and now. "Come here," he murmurs, gesturing to you.
"You come here," you argue softly, smiling to yourself.
His lips quirk. He moves over to you, shifting across your little hidden space until he's right in front of you. His hand goes to the back of your neck and he pulls you gently until your lips meet his.
You curl your fingers in the front of his shirt, pulling him closer towards you and smiling against his mouth. He's smiling too- you can feel the curve of his lips against yours.
Levi pulls back, and he kisses your forehead before he sits back where he was before. "So?" he asks.
You sigh dramatically. "Fine. I suppose it wouldn't kill me if you came to District 12."
"Good." Levi peers out around the stack of crates. "Everyone's leaving," he notes. "Lunch break."
"Okay," you agree, "but I've got two more arrows first."
Levi scoffs. "Of course."
After you've sent an arrow into the bullseye of one of the target ranges at an awkward angle and had the other slice through a rope that was holding up what you think is the lunch bell, you're happy to follow Levi down the climbing wall and to lunch. Your chest and mind both feel lighter.
When he shoots you a smile, you know how rare it is- so you shoot him one back, hoping he understands how important that conversation was to you.
.
The mission to District 12 happens a week later.
The hovercraft has ten people in it, save for the pilot. You and Levi are two of the ten: he's seated, sharpening his katana that he claims he would never go on a mission without (even though he literally has a gun), and you're standing, unable to keep yourself still. A quiver filled with two dozen arrows is tucked over your back and one of the nicest bows you've ever held in your life is in one of your hands.
"The tech department's working on some specialized arrows," Erwin had told you when he handed you the quiver. "It'll take them some time, so this is all we have for now."
Hange had given you the same black armored uniform that you wore for that video broadcast last week. Extra padding for falls, fingerless gloves- "but not bulletproof yet, so don't think you can wander into crossfire," Hange had joked. Still, the suit is warm and fits you perfectly. You don't have any complaints.
Jean and Marco, your camera crew, are here. So are Eld, Oluo, and Gunther. They'd volunteered for the mission as soon as it was announced- besides, they knew the area the best, and it'd be nice to have more guides on the ground.
There's two other uniformed soldiers that you don't know- their names are Klaus and Nifa, you think- and the last one in your group of ten is Mike, the commanding officer. He was the one at the script meeting last week who'd named the moment you fought the bats in the cave as an inspiring moment created by you. He seems nice enough, not like the other District 13 asshats who look at you like you're a kid who's been handed weaponry.
You're happy to have your friends along. Although Petra did some training with the rest of you, she really doesn't have much interest in this war- not like the others do. Although none of them have faced exactly what you've had to, they've witnessed their fair share, enough to give them a reason to go against the Capitol. Out of the five of you- you, Petra, Oluo, Gunther, and Eld- you think Petra is the only one left with both of her parents. You love her to death, you really do, but the others (like you) had to do a lot of growing up on their own.
"This is our district too," Eld had said. "We want to see the destruction ourselves."
Who were you to argue? Gunther, Oluo, and Eld were all adamant about it. Arguing and trying to get them to stay behind was just selfish. "Do you even know how to shoot?" you ask, nodding to the guns that they're carrying.
Gunther holds it up. "We're experts."
"You trained for a week," Levi says from behind you.
"And we nailed it!" Oluo insists.
"It was passable."
"I didn't know you could shoot," you say, turning to Levi and looking at his gun.
He shrugs. "Yeah."
"If you want experts, he's your expert," Eld says, looking at Levi. "He's really damn good."
You haven't visited (or had any desire to visit) the shooting ranges meant for guns, although you know it's a place frequented by just about every soldier. You turn to Levi again, raising your eyebrows. "So you're good?"
Levi's eyes meet yours. "Half decent."
Your lips twitch at the callback to your own bow and arrow skills. "Half decent, huh."
"How much longer?" Oluo shouts over the hum of the machinery in the hovercraft, talking to the pilot.
"A few minutes," the man calls back.
"How bad is it?" Levi asks as he looks to Mike, asking a question that you've been a bit too nervous to vocalize. "District 12? Is it unstable?"
There's a table in the center of the hovercraft seating space, and Mike leans forward and taps on it. A screen pops up with the layout of District 12- you recognize a few landmarks like the main stage, the market, and the meadow that you'd cross to get to the forest. "Any dots represent unstable regions that our scanners picked up," he explains. "Heat, structure damn near collapse. Nothing worth noting, so we'll stay on guard, but nothing to be immediately worried about."
You nod along. "So, we just wander around and get some footage?"
"Yep," one of the soldiers- Nifa- agrees. "As easy as that."
"Seems like a big crew for a mission like this," Jean remarks.
You shrug, pointing to Mike. "Mission lead, because apparently I'm unpredictable and immature," you say, quoting Shadis. Mike shrugs as if to say he won't argue. "Those three because they know the area better than you guys and can help scope it out."
"Aye aye," Oluo says jokingly.
"You two, obviously to film," you say, pointing between Jean and Marco. "Levi's my emotional support."
He scoffs beside you. "Nice."
"It's a good idea to present Levi with her," Mike says, nodding to Levi. "Shows that their alliance in the arena wasn't just for show. Besides, the people like the two of you."
You raise your eyebrows, glancing at Levi. "Would you listen to that- we're likeable."
Levi shrugs. "Somehow."
"Nifa and Klaus are just here for extra precautions," Mike says. "That's it. We'll scope out the city, film the entire thing, and then we return to base with the footage and the tech team will edit it into something they can push into a Capitol livestream."
You glance at Marco. "Make sure you get my good side."
"What side is your-"
"Here!" the pilot calls from the cockpit up front. "I'm dropping down now!"
Conversation dies as the hovercraft stalls, and then descends. Your stomach feels like it's dropping and you have to resist the urge to hold Levi's hand. Steadily, the aircraft descends and touches down, but it's only when the engine shuts off that you allow yourself to completely relax.
The pilot emerges from the cockpit. "I'll stay here," he says. "Radio me if there's any issues."
Mike nods, patting the communication device strapped to his hip. Nifa and Klaus have matching ones. "Got it. Alright, team, let's move out."
Marco's already got his camera up, Jean right next to him. You see him point the lens at you, and you look away, swallowing hard. Everything you do, everything you react to- it's all going on camera. The thought's a bit unnerving.
"You ready," Levi murmurs beside you.
You look to him and nod, trying to put a convincing smile on your face. "Yeah. Let's go."
The ramp of the hovercraft lowers. Mike is the first one down, with Eld, Oluo, and Gunther close behind him. Then, it's you and Levi, followed by Jean and Marco, with Nifa and Klaus picking up the rear.
The photos didn't do District 12 justice. Not in the slightest. Photos can't capture smells, can't capture noise- or rather, the lack thereof. District 12, as plain and miserable as it is- was- is normally plentiful in smells. Meat being grilled, burning coal, something distinctly sulphur-y if you got too close to the mines. Sounds that included muted chatting, mining picks striking stone, some farm animals bleating as they attempt to annoy their owners into giving them more food.
It's all gone. All that noise, all those smells. It's just... gone. It doesn't feel like the same place, not with this eerie silence.
The pilot's parked you near what you recognize as the edge of town, near a small section of houses. Houses that no longer exist, brought down to rubble. You have no words as you follow the team through the destroyed street, stepping over dislodged stones and broken buildings.
Levi nudges you. You glance at him. He raises his eyebrows as if to ask you how you're doing.
You sigh softly to yourself, looking forward to where Gunther, Eld, and Oluo are surveying the destruction with wide eyes. "It's so quiet," you say.
"You want to elaborate on that?" Jean asks from behind you.
Not really, but you know it's sort of your job, so you do. "District 12 is..." you sigh to yourself. "Honestly? Miserable to the eye. Not much in the way of color- everything's just so plain. But what made it livable was the noise. The chatter. You'd hear people in the market, hear the miners as they worked, hear the animals."
"You could hear the Richards' damn goats from two blocks away," Oluo says from in front of you.
You laugh. "Yeah. But District 12, well, it's never quiet." You don't look at the camera. "Always something going on. The only time it's ever quiet is at the Reapings."
"Main plaza's up ahead," Eld calls.
"Where the Reapings are?" Marco asks behind you, and you nod.
"You lit that stage on fire," Levi recalls.
Your lips twitch. "And so begins the tragic life of the Mockingjay," you tease dramatically. "Light some spilled alcohol on fire and now I'm associated with nothing but."
"What was going through your mind?" Jean asks. "When you got called up, when you lit the stage on fire?"
"How much I hated the Capitol," you reply easily. "If I was going into their damn games, I wasn't going easy. I was going to fuck them up."
"I don't know if we can air that," Marco mutters.
Levi turns back to frown at the camera. "Have you heard how much she curses?"
"It's a lot," you supply.
"We'll let the tech team deal with it," Jean mutters. "No way I'm handling that."
"We're here," Eld calls from the front.
You look away from Levi and towards the path in front of you that opens up to the main part of town: the center stage. It's left intact, for some reason- the only thing here that looks like it's survived. It's not random, you're sure of that. "Capitol probably left it like this on purpose," you grumble to yourself, looking out at the massive clearing that you would gather in year after year just to listen to the fated name get pulled from the bowl.
Mike gestures to you all, and you start walking around the edge of the clearing, around towards the stage. Jean calls your name, and you look over your shoulder. "You came into the games with a lot of attitude," he says. "Would you have volunteered if you weren't picked?"
"Lots of attitude?" you repeat, rolling your eyes at him. "Please. Come on."
"It's valid," Levi mutters next to you.
You shove him, then look back towards the camera. "No, I don't think so," you say, even if you're not entirely sure of the answer. "Petra, actually- the morning of, she made me promise not to."
"You were going to?"
You shrug. "Probably not. But Petra, Oluo, Eld, Gunther-" you gesture to your three friends walking ahead of you- "they all knew how much I hated the Capitol. How angry I was. I think Petra anticipated me volunteering just because I could, but..." you shrug again. "I don't know. I promised not to, so I wasn't going to."
Jean smirks. "But then you got picked."
"But then I got picked anyways," you agree, unable to stop yourself from grinning. "A cruel bit of irony, huh?"
"Couple of buildings still stable up here," Eld calls.
You look forward. A few of the buildings closer to the stage- a local bakery that you remember being very good, a small building dedicated to the mayor- are still standing. You glance back towards the stage, your stomach churning. Something's not right.
"Hey," Oluo says gleefully, "check that out. The bakery's still intact."
"The food definitely isn't," Eld says.
"You getting all of this?" Mike asks, looking back to the camera crew. He gets a thumbs up from Marco.
You frown, still focused on the stage. It looks like there's something in the center of the main platform- something bright white, a brilliant contrast against the drab grey that surrounds it. "Something's on the stage," you say, eyes flickering to Levi. "Anyone have binoculars?"
"I'll check it out," Gunther says, walking towards the stage. "Could just be something that someone left behind-"
He steps on the first stair. There's a click.
Everyone freezes.
"What the hell?" Gunther says aloud, and he takes another step.
Then, there's a deafening explosion, and Gunther is blown into a million pieces.
.
Happy cliffhanger, xoxo love u guys