Song: Tems- Free Mind
Aleyna
I try to move and turn my body on my side into a much more comfortable position but it's futile as the pain in my stomach only grows.
I halt my movements as I stop to take in a shaky breath, looking out at the large floor to ceiling windows, as the sight beyond it never fails to put a smile on my face.
I use all me strenght to get up carefully trying not to wake up Anthony that's sleeping besides me snoring like a pig that's on some type of drug.
I get up on shaky feet shaking at the numbness in them from laying down for so long. Turning my head to look at the big gold marble clock hanging on the wall, I huff out in content.
It's 4:47 in the morning yet still dark outside, the sun is just starting to rise from its abyss.
Spinning on my heels I turn to the kitchen limping around the island as I make my way to the cabinet, opening it and grabbing two Advils. I pop one into my mouth limping back to grab a water bottle and downing the pill down my throat with the help of the water.
I do the same for the next Advil, call me weak for not being able to swollow both of the pills at once but I've never even had a deep or semi small cut. I was a very very safe child growing up and I still am, a little to safe I never took any risks.
Kids use to make fun of me for it, Elementary school was my version of hell. Aswell as middle and highschool.
I was your average 'sweet good little girl' growing up. I'm not ashamed of it nor do I regret it. My behavior gave me favour in almost any adults eyes espicially boys and men as I got older.
Every year I was the teachers favorite even throught out middle and highschool.
Not only was I all my teachers favorite but also my families and my parents favorite daughter.
That's one thing I love Niya for, even thought I was the families favorite she still treated me the same no matter what. She never got jealous of the unwanted attention I would constantly receive or all the gifts and presents they would shower me with.
Unlike my school life, I was constantly getting bullied and it's saddens me to say but I didn't have a back bone through my childhood years. My flight of fight sense was activated but I always lacked the ability to fight so I always ran and hid from my problems growing up.
Yes I gained favour in the adults eyes However I lost it in children my age.
However because of it I always hung around the adluts and elderly people as it forced me to become more mature in life, so I was always more advanced then the rest of the children my age.
At school my name was teacher's pet, They short formed it to 'Teapet'.
At one point in my school years I would even ask myself if they even knew my real name, if they knew me, but that didn't regard me thought.
When people place a low value on themselves, or when people don't like themselves-no matter how good of a front they put on they project that same self-dislike onto others.-Me in this case.
Humans typically do things to get pleasure or avoid pain, replicating their own lived experiences. They may be driven by a desire to hurt you-me, in the same way they have been hurt, to bring other's down and cause you pain in the same ways they have experienced it.
No matter what Niya always had a special place for me in her heart. A tear escapes my eyes at the crude memories of what my parents used to do to her because of me, because of my mistakes no matter how much I would beg and plead with them to stop,it was no use I was defenseless against them.
My legs got weak as more silent tears escaped my irises, slumping into the ground I force my mind away from a place I hated going.
Forcing my eyes away from my trembling hands and back towards the world beyond the floor to ceiling windows.
A warm smile graces my lips as I watch Anthony rise up from his piggy slumber.
He always found ways to make me feel better and more myself even if his dumbass didn't know it, I tilt my head back into the Island as more memories flood my mind once more.
There was this one time in 7th grade their was this dark haired girl named Emma, she was a bitch to litterly everyone however she was worst with me.
That cockroach never left me alone it's like she didn't even have a life the way she always found time in her pathetic little day to bother me, she made that school year hell for me.
I blossomed late. I didn't get my period till 9th grade, my boobs was the smallest possible size as well as I had bad acne. But some how so many boys still wanted me especially onced I blossomed in 9th grade God I received so much unwanted attention through highschool. However that just made the girls treat me worse always saying shit like I stole their man, even if I did 'not purposely' go beat him up not me. I wasn't the one to committing in a relationship.
Although Niya thought me how to use all the attention for my benefit which I did, that's when my manipulation stared then later on became one of my strongest characteristics. I have to admit that I'm not always aware when I'm doing it thought.
Emma would often body shame me alone and infront of every one, she wouldn't care. Any time something flat would be referred In class she would make a very blunt joke comparing whatever the object was to me In some messed up way.
And like the coward I was I would do nothing to defend myself. I was defenseless against her until Anothony came into my life.
He got fed up with how she would treat me so he took her liking for him to both of our advantage. Mine so she would stop bother me and his so he can be satisfied.
So he took me to the store with him at 2:45 after school on a Monday I remember that day like it was yesterday. He bought a bottle of shampoo along with a bottle of nair hair removal cream.
We walked to his house and once we arrived we immediately emptied the bottle of shampoo and switch it for nair I sprayed some perfume in the bottle as we aslo left a little shampoo for extra scent purposes.
I was scared about what we we're going to do. Never in my life have I done something that mean but Anthony was by my side comforting me telling me she deserves more that what we were about to give her.
Later that day he went over to her place with 1 simple red rose and her special shampoo made just for her, Anthony took complete advantage that she liked him and sweet talk her into using it saying he loves the scent and would love it on her.
Emma being the guilable person that she is used it happily without a second thought.
The next day was amazing I have never laughed as much as I did that day.
She came to school her hair as short to her ear but what made it even better was that half her hair was gone, their was big chunks of baldness in her head she tried to cover it up but failed miserably.
After that event people stop picking on me and all of their attention was now on her and it stayed that way until the next 'big thing happened'.
From that day a special place in my heart opened for Anthony, that only grows bigger every day.
Wiping the fresh tears of my face I get off the floor spinning on my heels walking through the stinging pain in my stomach. Approaching Anthony I fall on my haunches lying next to him.
I grunt in pain as he pulls me into a warm tight imbrace a bit to tight that the stinging in my stomach pains me "owe Tee" I grit out.
He lifts his head looking at me like he doesn't see a problem until my face shrunches up in pain and discomfort that realization finally dawns on him as he pulls away letting the cold air hit me "shit I'm sorry Ali" he rasp he's voiced laced with fatigue.
I give him a reasuring smile as I lay next to him looking at the sunrise outside. We're engolf by silence as we both don't say a word to eachother, just enjoying the moment.
"How come your up" I ask breaking the peaceful silence, concern clear in my voice, He turns his head to face me a smile gracing his lips.
"I don't even fucking know" he murmers are you going to work today" he ask his eyes falling to my injury.
To be honest it got better the pain wasn't as prominent as yesterday now all I have to do is wait for it to fully heal. "Those it look like I'm going Tee" rolling my eyes at his dumb question.
He chuckles at my rebuttal getting of the U shaped sofa, the dip in the sofa gone. He turns to the kitchen washes his hand not even getting under his dirty finger nails as he dries his hands on the white cloth, opening the draw putting one of the aprons on himself.
He rubs his hands like a fly turning to me with a bright smile on his face, "welcome ma'am to Anthony special home service I will be your caretaker for the day" he chuckled seriously.
"What would you like for breakfast Ali" he ask seriously as he stumbles over one of the cloths. There was no way on earth I was going to eat from him I already made that mistake 3 times in my life I'm not making it again.
"If your making it i'l have nothing" I mumble seriously eyeing him wearily wondering why he has the nerve to ever try cooking for me once again after what he did.
His demeanor changes as he eyes me with an undetectable emotion pooling in he's handsome blue eyes. "Fine" he grits out exhaling heavily, I hold back a smile knowing I definitely struck a nerve.
His body slumps back into the sofa sinking into the soft material causing me to sink in with him as his large body causes a dent in the fabric.
He digs into his pockets grabbing his phone and going straight to Uber eats, he opens the app giving me that look and from his face it's saying this is only for my injury as well as I'm lucky he loves me.
I giggle at him as I order a stack of fluffy pancakes with a mango pineapple smoothie as he orders the same.
Once the order went through I sight out in content getting up to go take a warm relaxing shower. Entering the washroom I discard of my clothes throwing them wherever as I enter the steamy shower.
Srubbing my body I felt relaxed for the first time since the incedent but still something underneath the surface was bothering me.
I shake the feeling off of me as I quickly finish my shower ready to eat. I step out entering my closet moisturizing my soft caramel skin, and throwing on some plain grey sweats with a cropped tank top.
The smell of pancakes filled my nostrils as I rush out of my room to the kitchen to see my food waiting for me. I pick up the my plate of pancakes immediately in as I conversed with Anthony about dumb irrelevant matters.
•••
Sleep was something that never came naturally to me, Unless I was accompanied by Niya.
Knowing that she was going to lay next to me and cuddle with me is what always lured me into a state of bliss.
Our whole lives we shared a room together until highschool, our parents forced us to get seperate rooms and their was nothing we could do or say that would change their mind. We were defenseless against them.
However Niya would always come sneak into my room at night to cuddle with me until I fell asleep, and sometimes she would even stay the night and wake up early to sneak back into her room before our parents woke up.
And so it only made sense that I couldn't fall asleep, Anthony had left earlier to go fuck some blonde, so I had nobody to cuddle with.
I normally fall asleep with him but the times he not here I have restless sleepless nights. Unless I take my sleeping pills that I hate swollowing. And when I realise sleep wasn't going to come I sit up on my bed.
I spent my day with Anthony we chilled, talked, ate,and watch shows, I know he was trying to get my mind off things but I just couldn't keep my negative thoughts away.
Knowing I was in the comfort of my home I got up slipping my feet into my soft slippers exiting my room in my white lace bra and my grey sweats I go straight to the kitchen making myself a warm mug of tea. I crushed my sleeping pill into the warm liquid as I added honey for the taste.
As I was making my tea I couldn't shake that creepy feeling that someone was watching me. However my exhausted mind didn't pay much attention to it as my body slumbs back into the sofa. Sipping on my druged tea I laugh out at the thought that I actually crushed sleeping pills into the warm liquid.
Looking outside the large windows at the city I couldn't stop my mind from thinking of Niya. Somethings wrong and I know it I want to find her I really do but I only had two options and I hated both.
Option one is go to the police with the little information I have knowing them I would have to pay I good chunk of money for them to go in search for her with barely any traces or info.
Option two is take matters into my own hands go to LA in search for her risking my very own life in the process.
As I kept thinking about the situation I became more and more determined that I was going after her. Besides if she really is involved in some illigal shit police or useless theirs always that group of fucked up cops that just go where the moneys at.
Opening my laptop I immediately go to her Instagram she only had 6 post and it shows that she was active approximately 3 months ago. My heart's sinks as I start thinking of all the possible things that could have happened to her, uncontrollable tears flow down my cheeks unto the laptop.
As I begin sombing so much that my eyes begging to hurt, months I tried to act tough like I'm ok I kept lying to myself saying that everything fines when's it's clearly not.
I can't afford to lose another sibling I can't I just can't it would break me to much. My heart's aches at all the memories flooding back into my mind the same memories I'm always trying to erase from my mind but i just can't.
More tears flood my face at the memories the memory of seeing nothing but a crimson red stained on my hands as my parents beat me and my sister.
They took all their anger and sadness out on us like we weren't grieving to.
I constantly try to forget that day every day or my life but can't because it happend and they memory is still their. It's never leaving. I just need to begin to accept it.
I let out a shaky breath as my hands start trembling underneath me, I try to stop the saking but can't so I resort to the only that helps I meditate trying to connect to whatever world lays beyond this world. I close my eyes and start counting the imaginary stars that I see in my head.
1
2
I sight out in grief
3
4
My mind slowly start escaping this world
5
6
Slowly until I reach star 94 that my body starts to calms down as my hands stop shaking besides me and my mind starts to clear from thoese horrific thoughts.
I let out a shaky breath slumping back into the sofa, my eyes start to get drupy as my eye lids slowly start closing fatigue taking over my body.
I try to pick up my laptop to continue finding whatever I can on niya but its pointless as my eyes close and sleeps takes over my exhausted body.
Hoping that shes ok.
Ok guys any story thoughts or ideas?
Also do you guys know any hot Italian guy names cause I'm thinking of changing his name.
I acually shed a few tears writing this chapter
Idk why but I cry so easily.
Im not going into much detail yet about her past but as the story progresses I will.
Also get ready cause shes leaving New york next chapter in search for Niya.
Im gonna update again this week so either Friday or Saturday ❤️