Mey har angle mey soch rahi hu...What does Sidharth in love look like? Mere ko nahi pata abhi bhi par yeh likhna toh padega 😛
Sana
When I woke up, I was well under the comforter, facing the dressing table.
Sidharth's enormous Cetaphil bottle said hello to me.
I swished back to my companion who was surprisingly awake.He looked at me in the semi-darkness. We had closed off the curtains so it was very dark.I hardly knew what time it was.
He didn't speak and closed his eyes instead. He tangled his legs with mine, pulling me closer.
I smiled, feeling his breath fan my face.
My pulse quickened and I realised that I was a hot-blooded female after all. He was so beautiful, it was natural.
I traced my fingers lightly over his M-shaped eyebrows, I remembered that he had been awake a moment ago.
This over thinker.
"Kuch soch raha tha?"
He hummed in response.
"Kya?"
He opened his brown eyes and paused before saying, "Whatever you said last night, about liking someone...I was thinking what it would be like if you get married one day and..."
"And?" I prodded, squishing his face in my hand.There was nothing plush about his face, all muscles and no fat.How annoying.
Then I felt his biceps on my shoulder.Well,not exactly annoying...
"Mujhe thoda kharab laga..." He sighed softly and I smiled.
Thoda.
I was such a fool. He did love me.He just chose to hide it from me pretty well.
"When you fall in love again, I want you to expressly tell me before-hand so that I will back off..."
"Back off from what?" I asked pointedly.Did this man even hear himself?
He intertwined his fingers with mine, "Matlab, we can't be like this na? We will have to set boundaries..."
"Faltu cheezein bolta hai tu..." I mumbled, feeling bad. "Mujhe kaise dobara pyaar hoga?"
"I know you think you love me right now but practically...."
I wanted to strangle him! He was trying to be a gentleman or whatever but every word he was telling was hurting me.
"Baby kya hua?"
I hid my face in his chest.I was already feeling irritated because of my periods and this kutta was plunging me into the dumps further.
I took a deep breath to control my emotions.
Sidharth was rubbing my back up and down, "Okay sweetheart, I'm sorry. Let's not think about all this now."
"Do you feel like this with your exes?"
"Like what?"
"Jaise you don't want to see them get married even after you guys called it quits?"
" No, I've been to their weddings too.I'm happy for them."
I pulled myself up on my stomach"But when you think of me getting married, tujhe kharab lag raha hai jab hum dono sirf dost hai kab se...Socho phir..."
He was speechless.
I let that thought marinate and slid into my duvet, pulling it over my head.
Sidharth ripped it off my face and I looked up at him surprised.
"So you're saying you don't mind dating older men? Sahi hai, bhai. I didn't know those were your tastes, Paras seemed younger..."
His eyes seemed teasing but I understood that there was an undertone of seriousness to it.He was either trying to provoke me or he wanted reassurance.
I gazed into his eyes steadily and caressed his cheek.The two-day stubble bristled under my fingers.I pulled him down and kissed his forehead and his nose, "I guess I didn't know my tastes until I met you.I like men who are strong, compassionate and straightforward, like my Sidharth."
His nostrils flared and the hand that held my fingers tightened.I wanted to smirk, only now I realised how I could pull down his guard.
He seemed to realise that too.
But it wasn't just him, I had a few insecurities as well but I didn't deem it appropriate to confess it in the house.
"And Asim told you that I'm using you for your fame no? I'm really not doing that, sachi...I did know you were a big personality but that time--"
"Shut up you idiot," he mumbled and dropped the arm that was supporting his weight.
I let out an involuntary uff even though he wasn't laying his entire weight on me.He partially laid on me and his face rested in the crook of my neck.His nose teased my collarbone and I flinched.
"I'm tired sweetheart," he said and I waited for him to say more. "I'm tired of pretending that you don't affect me so much.But damn it, you do..."
I gently wrapped my arms around him.
"...You're not using me Shehnaz, I'm using you...For my sanity, for my peace of mind.I don't--"
He raised himself up on his elbows and I didn't react.It felt like an electric shock to hear Sidharth saying something so unfiltered.
"Tu samajti bhi hai, tu kya karne wali hai? If you get into a relationship with me, I'll never let you go kabhi bhi. I'm very jealous over and possessive of you.Hadh se."
He said it frankly like a threat, but it sounded like music to my ears.I felt tears forming in my eyes.
"Same here," I replied, kissing his hand.
His breath wafted into mine and I closed my eyes on autopilot...
Was I going to be kissed by Sidharth Shukla today? Skkkskskskskskskkksk!!
After a moment, he did nothing so I opened my eyes and realised that he was simply gazing me at me as If I was the last diamond on this planet.
"I don't want to taint you baccha..."
"You won't," I affirmed.Why was he talking to me as if I was a newly painted wall? Taint itseems, bakwas.
His long fingers reached out and unfastened the first button on my night suit and his head dipped down and he kissed the birthmark on my cleavage.
"Beautiful," he muttered, looking at me and reached out to teasingly nip at the spot.
"Sidharth," I moaned and my fingers clutched at his hair.
Only after I noticed him stare at me, did I realise that I made that sound.Embarrassing.
Of course I would overreact.The most I did with a boy was kiss.He groped me and I didn't moan.I laughed because it was awkward and funny.But nothing about Sidharth's touch was funny.
"Precious little baby," he said and his nose touched mine.
I stilled in anticipation as his head came down.His teeth grazed my cheek and his lips made a beeline towards my mouth.
He wasn't doing much, I realised. He was just nudging his nose on my face and nipping at my skin.
"I want you Shehnaz but it feels so wrong."
"I want you too," I replied with a sniff, pulling him closer by his shirt.
He was going to say something else when his phone rang.
He sighed, tucking my bangs behind my ear before pulling himself up to sit down in between my legs.
I watched him grab the phone and my vigilant eyes caught the name of the caller ID.
Rashami Desai.
He quickly clicked it off and tossed it back on the bed.
"Kya hua?" I mumbled.
He combed his fingers through his hair and shook his head, getting off the bed.
"Not important.Chal,I'll make us some bindass chai."
I watched him walk away but I couldn't help staring at his phone.
Why was she calling him?