CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
It was a beautiful autumn night, with a clear, star-spangled sky and a crisp bite to the air. McKenna sighed softly as she snuggled closer to Loki. They were on the same chair where they'd dozed off that afternoon, and she was cozy warm beneath the plaid wool blanket drawn almost to her nose.
"What are you thinking about, Midgardian?" Loki's voice was barely a whisper, his fingers moving lightly over her hair. Up. Down. Up. Down.
"It's so pretty out here," she murmured, tilting her head to peer up at him. "Tonight was so perfect, Loki. Wasn't it?"
"It was." His fingers went still on her hair. "If, on the night we went to watch the fireworks, you had told me we'd one day return as the parents of four children, I never would have believed you." He shifted onto his side so they were almost nose to nose. "All I wanted that night was to find some way to get you to sleep with me. How in Odin's name did you convince me to fall in love with you, a Midgardian?"
A wink accompanied his words and she made a face at him. "Well, you wouldn't have had to work that hard, if you had just ducked when Phil shot you."
He grinned, brushing the tip of her nose with a kiss. "Nah."
"Nah? Did you just say nah?"
"I did." He kissed her again. "And to be honest, I rather liked how it worked out in the end. You, naked and wet, clinging to me in that shower... Mmmm..."
In the darkness, she could just make out the glint in his eyes, the hint of a grin playing at his lips, but there was no mistaking the growl in his voice, and that made her smile. "And then I went and spoiled the moment."
"You spoiled nothing. You just didn't see the woman I did." Beneath the blanket, his hand skimmed along her hip, to the bottom of her sweatshirt to graze her bare skin. "The woman I fell in love with, the woman I still love with all the madness in my soul."
She chuckled. "Were you listening to Born to Run again?"
He kissed the tip of her nose once more. "You're the one who made me listen to it."
"It's a great album. But Darkness on the Edge of Town is even better."
"Mmmm..." he murmured, shifting to cover her lips with his. She slid one arm about his neck, letting her fingers slip through the hair curling over his collar. As the tip of his tongue swept along her bottom lip, she opened her mouth, smiling as he groaned softly in the back of his throat when her tongue met his.
The hand on her hip slid higher, his fingers warm as they grazed her ribs, slid down over her back, into the valley of her spine. He brushed up, just barely touching her, and yet she shivered against him.
He broke the kiss to graze her jaw and as she tilted her head back, he whispered, "McKenna..." and the hand on her back swept up, his fingers hooking in her bra strap. A flick of his wrist, and she felt it give. A moment later, and that hand was now beneath her bra and on her breast.
"I don't know this chair will hold us," she whispered, her thoughts slow and sluggish as his thumb slowly circled her nipple.
"I don't care," he whispered back, nipping playfully at the side of her neck. "Let's live dangerously, love, shall we?"
She smiled, nuzzling his hair with her cheek. "I do like to walk on the wild side."
He lifted his head to offer up a seductive grin. "I like the sound of—"
"Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!" Aislinn's scream slit through the night's peacefulness and Loki groaned, his head coming to rest in the curve of her shoulder.
"I'll get her," he whispered, somewhat out of breath as he shifted to sit up.
As he rose, her eyes widened. "Maybe I should get her."
He swore softly, shifting things about for a second. "I'm fine. Or I will be by the time I get to her room."
"Think about old women or dead goats or something."
He chuckled as he moved to the slider. "Stay right there, McKenna."
She sighed softly as he went inside and a few minutes later, Aislinn's cries quieted. Another nightmare, most likely. McKenna rubbed her eyes as she snuggled back beneath the blanket. The wind picked up, swirling softly around her and below, in the distance, the waves crashed on the shore.
She had no idea how much time passed but she felt a whoosh in her belly and opened her eyes to find herself in Loki's arms as he carried her from the deck to the slider. "I can walk, Jötunn," she whispered.
"I know. And I can carry you just as easily, love. You weigh little more than your daughter does."
"That's not exactly true, but thank you."
He wiggled his fingers at the slider and the lock clicked into place, and when they were back in their room, he gently set her on the bed. "Go back to sleep, love," he murmured, straightening up to tug his Henley from the waist of his jeans. "It's late and they will be up early."
"What was her nightmare about?"
He sighed, balling up the Henley to throw in the laundry basket by the slider in their room. The muscles along his shoulders bunched, then smoothed with the motion and he turned to sink onto the edge of the bed. "The same thing. She dreams about you telling her I'm gone. Then she's at my funeral and she wakes up thinking she's dreamed my being back."
She pressed her lips together as he leaned forward to lower his head into his hand. "It was a foolish, stupid thing to do, McKenna. And I never should have listened to Odin about it. I never should have agreed to do it. And I will never forgive myself for not listening to my instinct."
"Loki," she slid across the bed and shifted to kneel on the mattress as she eased her arms about his shoulders and pressed her cheek into his back, "you did what you had to do, what you thought was the right thing to do. If you didn't think so, you never would have agreed to it."
"No, McKenna." He shook his head. "I didn't think it was the right thing to do. At least, not the part where I was to allow you all to think me dead."
"Stop it." Resting her chin on his shoulder, she gave him a gentle squeeze. "We're all okay, Loki. And it sucks now, because she's having these nightmares, but they will stop and she will forget all of this."
"She will." He pulled away from her and crossed over to the slider, where he turned back to her. "But I won't."
"Sweetheart," she shifted once more, letting her legs now dangle over the side of the bed, "you have to forgive yourself. Just like you had to forgive yourself for what happened to Frigga. You said it yourself that getting those stones back was of utmost importance. If Thanos gathered all six, he'd be invincible, right?"
He nodded. "That's right."
"So, which would be worse? You did what you had to do."
He crossed his arms over his chest, the muscles in his biceps bulging like baseballs beneath his skin. "Then why do I feel like the worst father ever?"
"Because she's going through this. Just like I felt like the worst mother ever when Selig was having his nightmares because Ward snatched him on my watch. But you didn't blame me, right?"
"Of course not."
"And we don't blame you for this." She got to her feet and walked over to him. His forearm was cool to the touch as she skimmed her hand along it to tug it free and slip her hand into his. "So don't beat yourself up over this, okay? This will pass."
He sighed softly, threading his fingers through hers. "How do you do this, love? How do you manage to find the silver lining so easily?"
"Because I'm the eternal optimist, as you keep reminding me. And besides, you're a great dad, Loki. That damn merry go round makes you sick every time you go on it and yet, you never tell them no. You go on it as many times as they want to ride it, no matter how awful it makes you feel. You make time for them, no matter how much work you have to do. You play with them. You read to them. You teach them your magic and share your history with them. And you're there when they need you. And you came back to them. That's what they'll remember."
"I certainly hope so," he murmured, reaching up with his free hand to rub his eyes.
"They will. You'll see." She gave a gentle tug on his arm. "Now, come on and snuggle with me, o'God of Mischief, and we can talk about the first thing that pops up."
He grinned. "Is that so?"
She nodded and slipped her hand free. Then, with a smile, she reached back to unhook her bra, and proceeded to tug one strap off and then the other, and finally, she tugged it out from beneath her sweatshirt to toss in the laundry basket.
Loki made a low, growling sound, a smile playing at his lips as he whispered, "Damn..."
"Flashdance. All girls know how to take off their bra without taking off their shirt. Now," she cocked her head slightly to the left, "are you coming to bed or not?"