♡ Alaiya's POV: ♡
"Let me guess, Roman didn't wake his ass up this morning," Ivy takes a hunch in her workout clothes when we walk down the steps.
"Yeah." I elbow-punch Roman's side so he doesn't say what was on the tip of his tongue.
I look up at him and he smirks down at me, testing to see if I'll break my glare which I won't.
"Luckily, the car just got here so you guys are on time," Eldon says, not making direct eye contact with Roman since there's still a bit of tension. I would assume there would be considering the mark that Roman left on his lip.
We need to talk about that.
"Yeah, works out since you apparently needed to slide in a quickie before leaving," Ivy has to add.
"We're leaving," I quickly say, trying my best to avoid the blush that's probably already arrived.
We take Aubrey, Dayton, and Autumn into the car and the driver takes us to our house after we stop for breakfast.
I don't know what it is about today, but Aubrey will not stop crying. I have tried everything. Feeding her, changing her diaper, playing games that only she would find interest in, and rocking her. And the cries don't get any softer which you would expect when a baby has been crying for a while. No, they get louder by the hour. She's hungry which is probably the reason she's crying, but how am I supposed to make her feel better if she won't drink her milk? And I can't give her to Roman since I'm kind of the only milk supply.
"Roman," I beg as he's getting out of the car and I've given up.
He opens the door wider, taking Aubrey from my arms which are practically noodles because of how long I had to hold her and how much she was kicking and screaming.
The second she lands in Roman's arms and is resting against his chest, her cries have suddenly stopped and she's breathing normally again.
"I quit," I say with my head pounding since that was almost three hours of that cry and all it took was for her dad to hold her.
I should've said yes when he offered multiple times to come to the back.
Roman kisses her cheek and her forehead repeatedly while lightly bouncing her so she'll stay this way before we walk into the house with Dayton and Autumn. I give Autumn a bag in which she can put the things she wants to take with her. She rushes up the stairs, probably about to come down with her entire doll collection.
While she's doing that, Roman and I are packing our, along with the kid's things that we didn't bring the first time which takes us a few hours. We've been away from home for little vacations with the kids or work trips, but it's definitely going to be weird being away from home for weeks. Although, I can't deny how excited I am to live with our friends. It's like having siblings.
Of course, my parents never wanted another baby after me since they made it abundantly clear how big of a screw-up even one child was. Plus, growing up, I wasn't allowed to have many friends come over or go out with, so I was kind of stuck with Carson. I didn't get the whole 'friends who are like brothers and sisters' until I met Ivy and Rider, and then later on, everyone else.
"Alaiya," Roman sighs at me as I try to carry my book collection which is taller than him.
"What if I decide to read one of them and I don't have it with me?" I ask, putting the stack down next to the bag I've dedicated to my books.
"You've never touched half of these," he points out which is so not true. How would I have bought or put them on my shelf without touching them?
"You don't see me complaining about the protein shakes that you're packing." I put my hands on my hips.
"You're fucking comparing me being healthy and your crippling book addiction to each other?" he remarks, sadly making a good point.
"Shouldn't you be packing?" I avoid this conversation since I'm losing.
He rolls his eyes before I start setting the books in my bag in a neat stack. Romance thrillers go on the right side, marriage of convenience go in the middle, and anything more...explicit that goes on for more than a page goes on the left. It's weird because I used to read these types of books, only not with any sexual scenes because Carson had told me multiple times that pleasuring myself like watching porn was basically like cheating on him, so I gathered that reading about it would get me in the same amount of trouble. But even with the books I would read back then, the men would be so good to their girlfriends, yet I still thought that Carson was the one for me. I know that it's not healthy to dwell on the past or call myself stupid because I know I was manipulated my entire life, but boy does it make me angry that I didn't think I deserved better.
I have this thought a lot. What my life would've been like had I run away? If I hadn't agreed to date Carson and repeat my mother's mistakes. But then I also think about if I had stayed in that position. If I would've continued to defend Carson after I learned that he posted that picture and if I never had the chance to fall in love with Roman. I truly think that if I would have stayed, I wouldn't have been alive much longer and that takes my mind somewhere where I definitely don't want it to go. There's also the thought of being grateful that I did get out. That I didn't become like my mother and I found someone who is perfect, if not more for me, and that resulted in me finding amazing friends and having beautiful children whom I love more than anything in this entire world.
I space out for a second until I reel myself back in, looking at Roman whose holding Aubrey in one arm and putting his shirts into a bag with his other hand. Dayton is still asleep since if he doesn't get a whole twelve hours, he gets very cranky.
After that car ride, I'll pass on any more cries so I don't bother him even a little bit.
"Mom! Dad! My Mulan doll is missing!" Autumn says in worry as she enters our bedroom.
Autumn's favorite movie is Mulan. I'm surprised that she has more dolls that relate to that movie considering she brought like a million to the house already.
"I'll call the fucking police right now, princess." Roman nods towards her sarcastically.
Autumn sends a glare before looking at me to actually get an answer.
"I'm sure she's in your dollhouse," I reassure her.
"Alaiya, did you hear her? Her thirty-seventh Mulan doll is missing. I'm filing a missing person's report," Roman says assertively, and I can't help but smile at Autumn sassily rolling her eyes at him.
He sets Aubrey down on the bed carefully, making sure there are pillows surrounding her so she doesn't fall.
"I'll help you find it." Roman walks over and grabs Autumn's tiny hand which he has to lower his height down to do.
"Are you going to keep making fun of me?" Autumn says, looking up at him.
"If I'm in the mood." He grabs her other hand and swings her up with ease, her legs going around his side and his lips tackling her with kisses, making her giggles be heard from down the hall.
I see Dayton roll over suddenly and his big, green eyes look around the room as if he's entered a new dimension, his curls all messed up. His under eyes are filled with those eye bags that babies have that make them look so cute!
Aww!
His mouth opens.
The first cry comes out.
I take my aww back.
~~~~
I feel a few big shifts beside me as I'm sleeping. Both Roman and I are very light sleepers, both for different reasons. We don't usually move the position we get in unless we're awake.
Or something else.
Crap!
I lift my head against my pillow, adjusting myself as I gently take my arm out from around his back so I can see him better.
"Roman," I whisper.
I feel his slightly shaking hands tighten around the fabric of my shirt, his arm pulling me as close as I can be.
"It's not happening again," I promise him, my voice just a tad louder. "You're okay. Everything is fine."
After about a minute or two of him holding me tight, I feel water fall against my shoulder. If the nightmare is super bad, he sometimes can't gain consciousness and ends up crying while still sleeping. I can't see his face at the moment so I can't tell how bad it was.
"I'm up," he sniffs shakily, breaking my heart into pieces.
Every time this happens, I wish I could make the nightmares stop. Just get rid of them completely and make sure he never has to go through it ever again. But if I could have that kind of power, I would go back in time instead and hide him away from his mother so that it never started.
I hold him closer, kissing his cheek before he stuffs his face further into my neck. Until he stops crying and I've asked him if he wants to talk about it, I don't allow myself to go back to sleep or even think about anything else.
"What happened?" I whisper.
His grip around my shirt tightens.
"It was nothing. Go back to sleep." I know what he's doing. He does it every time he reveals another sickening thing his mother used to do.
"Roman, please don't do that." I pull away, holding his now wet cheek.
I can see his eyes are now red with the slight light coming in from the part of the window that's not covered by the curtains. His cheeks are also red which they always are when he's crying, his breathing shallow.
"If you don't want to tell me or aren't ready, that's completely fine, but please don't think that it wasn't a big deal or that you're being a burden because I promise you, you're not."
He stares down at himself for a second, swallowing the emotions down.
"Do you know how I told you about how my dad would always come home for my birthday so those would be the days she would leave me alone?"
I nod.
"I lied."
That statement alone makes me want to cry because it means that she...she did that to a little boy on his birthday. She did that to a little boy in general. Her own son!
"It was my seventh birthday and my dad had told me that he was having issues with his plane, so he wouldn't be home until the next day. I saw my mom go into her room after grabbing whatever fucking drug she was on from her purse. I knew immediately that she wasn't going to let me have that day without...." He stops, choking up on hurt and pain, tears now freely falling from my eyes from thinking about him being only seven years old and being so afraid.
"Rider was there that day. I practically begged him to stay even though I knew he would've gotten in trouble at home and I was being selfish. I just couldn't do it that day. It was my birthday for fuck-sake, but she didn't give a shit. She came into my bedroom and saw us both sitting in a tent, playing some dumbass game that Rider created. She told him that he couldn't stay that night because we needed to pick my dad up from the airport the next day and she wouldn't have time to drop Rider off until the late afternoon. I was desperate, but I couldn't do that to Rider. I didn't want to see him hurt and I knew what his foster parents were capable of, so I told him that she was right and that he should call them to tell them to pick him up, so he did. And then...and then later that night, my mom came into my room." The last part practically shatters my heart like it's made of the most fragile glass in the entire world, trillions of tiny pieces on the floor.
I practically yank him closer, my hug filled with more strength than I've ever used.
Disgust. Disgust is all I feel towards his sick excuse of a mother, and if I could go back in time, I would've never talked to her that day she came into his dad's house. I would've screamed at her for what she did to him. I would've yelled that she ruined a little boy's life for her own sick wants and that she deserves to rot.
"I'm so sorry," I whisper, meaning it in ways that he'll never know.
♥ ★ ❦ ✱ ♥
Word Count: 2241
Please tell me if there are any errors.