SIXTY TWO: A WAY TO COPE
What is the feeling of losing someone you love?
It's either they're living in a world where they think they're still alive. Or maybe it's the fact that they want to forget them, but in the end they end up miserable because of them.
But who can you really blame? Them, the world, or yourself?
It's easy to hate yourself. You loathe yourself because you weren't there for them, you're angry at yourself and you keep asking the world why...
...why her?
Why does she have to die? Why does she need to die? Why? Why? Why?
Why did she die? We even almost fought each other.
"Today we are now in the presence of the Lord as we now welcome Kim Namhee into His arms...," the pastor said, and Yoongi looks into the blank picture of Namhee, smiling down at him as if she never died.
"Namjoon, we're sorry. You must've been hurt by Namhee's death the most, knowing you two were there for each other," Jihoon said softly, and Namjoon stayed silent.
"Why weren't you there in the hospital?" Namjoon asked softly, it was the first time he spoke days after Namhee died.
"She was fucking assassinated. And you... you and the others weren't even there when you said you will get there," Namjoon said as he clenched his fists.
"We were going to go to the hospital as soon as we got your call. But... we also had to help Jungkook. We were at the beach waiting, and we were fooling around... then Jungkook... Jungkook was shoved into the deep water... and he almost drowned, Namjoon. We're not making excuses... we could've been there, we just couldn't make it early at that day," Jihoon replied as he looked down at the floor.
"That's an excuse, Jihoon. If you were there... if all of you... were there.... Namhee... Namhee wouldn't... have..," Namjoon said as tears welled up in his eyes.
"We were always there during all the times when she was happy. I was there for her, Yoongi was there for her... but why did she... and just like that," Namjoon said.
"We cared for Namhee too, Namjoon. But... we don't to risk anymore accidents. We always sticked with each other and we were always there for each other... and we will always be with Namhee too, even if she's gone," Jihoon said and Namjoon slowly stood up.
"No.... you weren't there for her when she died too. Why do you keep saying you'll be there for her when you weren't during this time? What is the nerve of you to say you care for her when you didn't go to her?" Namjoon yelled, and Jihoon flinched as Jungkook slowly placed his hand on his shoulder.
"Namhee... she would be the person who would always put you guys first before her... but you... you didn't...!" Namjoon said as he choked on his words, and Yoongi sighed as he stood up.
"Take a breather, Namjoon. You're not in the right mind-"
"Yoongi, and you... stop taking their side! You loved her, you understood her more than anything and you'd do this?!" Namjoon said as he looked at them.
Yoongi's eyes were red, and there were tear stains on his cheeks. But he couldn't grieve in peace when his friends are also currently in bad terms.
"I... I don't want to spend time with you guys... for a while," Namjoon said as he stormed out of the room, leaving the other boys in silence.
"Namjoon! I..," Jihoon said and Yoongi stopped him, shaking his head.
"Namjoon needs some time alone. He feels like this because he knew Namhee the most... it's best if we leave himself to his thoughts," Yoongi said softly, and Jihoon sighed.
Tokyo, Japan
"New mission, signed by the boss today AKA your dad," Mitsuya winked as he scanned through the files.
"Let me have a look, Mitusya-kun," Kazutora said as Mitsuya handed him the files.
"Client wants CEO of SBS Japan dead because of personal reasons, sounds genetic," Kazutora said and Yoongi looked over to the other guy.
Kazutora and Mitsuya were Yoongi's other bestfriends aside from Bangtan. The three of them met when they were pretty young and were treated as the child department of the yakuza, known to be secret spies and manipulation tools to avoid suspicion.
"I don't think we have a say in who and what to kill, Tora-kun. We've been doing it for years, best we just have to put it all we got with this information," Mitsuya said
"But I did hear this one is a special case. I heard from some delinquents downtown that SBS Japan's CEO has been doing dirty stuff like scamming and sexual harrassment, so it's fair he gets his share, the files also said we should abduct a certain lovely person he's been keeping safe," Kazutora grinned and Yoongi sighed as he took his gun.
"Let's go," Yoongi said and Mitsuya's eyes widened.
"Yoongi-kun, didn't you say you don't want to take on missions for a while? I mean, you lost someone important and we understand you need time," Mitsuya asked, and Yoongi sighed.
"I know and I'm thankful I have friends that understand me. But, I can't change anything now that she's gone. What have I been doing ever since I came back here? I lost my passion in everything," Yoongi said as he blew smoke from his cigarette.
"Yoongi.... you haven't been playing the piano and you started smoking not long after you came here. You haven't been eating and you're just in bed all day, that'll affect your performance, what if you get hurt?" Kazutora asked, and Yoongi smiled softly.
"If I have friends like you, then I promise myself that I won't get hurt. I promised her... I wouldn't be able to carry a burden anymore," Yoongi said and Mitsuya smiled.
"You loved her a lot. I can see... damn when am I gonna get that dream girlfriend," Mitsuya groaned and Kazutora stretched his arms.
"Alright, quit your whining Mitsuya, we have a job to do," Kazu smirked as he walked to the equipment room.
-
"Target spotted. That's Hiroshino Tamayo. He's walking towards the east wing where his meeting room is located. If you can snipe him by the head, Yoongi... it would be easier for us to abduct the target," Kazutora said, and Yoongi looked over to his sniper's rifle as he was carefully estimating the shot.
"200 meters from here, I'm gonna go inside. There are no people and I found a route to go to the location to where the target is," Mitsuya said through the microphone, and Yoongi looked into the rifle, before firing.
BANG!
"Damn it, wait...," Yoongi's eyes widened as he missed a bullet, then he pressed into his microphone.
"He knows he's being targetted. Let me go and assassinate him myself," Yoongi said before standing up from the other building before taking a rope to make his way to the other side.
"Wait, are you kidding me?! I need to go with you if you're going," Mitsuya said as he turned his mic off.
"I'm gonna keep an eye out. But I'll keep inside the building in case the target escapes," Kazutora said and Yoongi nodded before making his way to the broken window he shot through.
As he made his way through the window, his eyes widened as he felt something on his throat.
"Back down, I know who you are... that bastard sent me, didn't he," a gruff voice said, and Yoongi side-eyed towards an old man with a knife aimed at his throat.
"You won't kill me! Now be a good pawn and tell your boss-", the man said, but was soon cut off as he coughed loudly.
Blood.
Then, he collapsed to the ground as Yoongi took his grip off of his hands.
"Yoongi, glad I came just in time," Mitsuya said as he pulled his gun back.
"Thanks, Mitsuya," Yoongi said as he smiled.
"Take the target Yoongi, I'll go get Kazu-kun," Mitsuya smiled and Yoongi ran inside the room.
And his eyes scanned to a figure, he froze in place.
A boy with black hair, and plump lips, with small and cute eyes, and he was looking at him in shock.
Namhee?
Maybe her death was a hallucination?
Yoongi shook those thoughts off before grabbing the young man by the arm, pushing his small body towards his, engulfing him in a short embrace as he closed his eyes.
"Bomb countdown.... 10 seconds!"
"What...," Yoongi said, and Mitsuya's eyes widened.
10
"Yoongi, go get the target and get out of here," Mitsuya said as he looked towards the direction to where Kazutora is at.
9
"Mitsuya! The bomb will be going off! What happened to Kazutora?!" Yoongi yelled, and Mitsuya turned to Yoongi.
8
"Kazu-kun... he got himself into an accident from the fallen debris that the CEO had schemed. I need to help him," Mitsuya said, as looked at Yoongi.
7
"Mitsuya! Let Yoongi go first! We don't have much time!" Kazu yelled as it echoed through the halls, and Mitsuya clenched his fists.
6
"Go Yoongi! Don't worry about us! We'll make it in no time!" Mitsuya said, and Yoongi's eyes widened as he gripped the boy's hand tightly.
5
"No! I'm not leaving without you Mitsuya! You said we won't get hurt!" Yoongi said, and Mitsuya furrowed his brows.
4
"Just go Yoongi! You're more important! You can't die when you have the target!" Mitsuya yelled as he cornered Yoongi to the open window where he came from.
"Please Mitsuya! I... I..," Yoongi's eyes welled up, and Mitsuya smiled softly.
3
"Yoongi, even if you're part of the yakuza... you have a good heart you know? You love those around you, and you're talented," Mitsuya smiled.
2
"So don't beat yourself up over us, alright? You deserve everything, Yoongi," Mitsuya smiled, and he can feel Kazutora's smile as well.
"Live a life that only you get to choose."
1
He pushed Yoongi off as hard as he couls with the target, and they both fell out of the window.
The target's eyes were closed, but Yoongi's were wide open.
He can see the orange fire, the black smoke, and the crumbling debris of the building. The building felt oddly higher than before, it was like he kept falling as he reminisced those two friends he grew up with in Japan.
It all just disappeared, all so suddenly... like her.
His heart crumbled when it was supposed to be repaired weeks ago.
It was all falling apart, just like him.
-
"Eat up," Yoongi said as he handed the boy an onigiri. And the boy bit down on the snack before chewing slowly.
He was already around 16 to 17 years old, he was sure of that. A young man a bit younger than those twins back in Korea, he couldn't help but feel numb thinking about his other friends.
"About your.... nevermind. I shouldn't say that. Are you truly from the yakuza?" He asked, and Yoongi nodded slowly.
"Yup. My boss doesn't know about it though. I plan... to do something else much more safer. I heard you were in pain with that old man," Yoongi said.
"Well, he does pretty bad schemes with me in it sometimes. I don't wanna talk about it. But I actually came from Korea, just like you," he smiled.
"I... want to go back there," he said and Yoongi stared at him.
"... I know a way," Yoongi said with a stoic expression.
"It's a way where we get to meet plenty of times again," Yoongi smiled as he stared at her, it felt like she was there again. And he was happy.
He needed to forget about the fact that she was gone, and she truly isn't.
Namhee isn't dead.
"I'll take you to Korea... and meet my friends. But first, what's your name?" Yoongi asked as he stood up, and the boy smiled.
"Park Jimin."
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(UNEDITED)
A/N:
Vote or u will drink spoiled milk
I'm sorry for not posting in like 2 weeks lol i had exams and i wanna bang my head sonewhere :")
But anyways, next chapter is lastly Jimin's past and what he does before he met Yoongi! Just some context do u wont get confused! Then we move back to the present with Jin :")
AND YES, Kazutora and Mitsuya are here!!! (Mitsuya is my fave character in TokRev and a huge green flag <33)
Yall should read Tokyo Revengers its my fave shonen heeheh. It was one of the inspirations I got in writing Bangtan's pasts. Jihoon was also a little inspired by Mikey and Taehyung's past was inspired by Drakken <33 (btw no spoilers here its for the best for those who are interested but havent read :))