You can't imagine how happy I am knowing that you're already this far. I love you!!!
Please enjoy and don't forget to leave some comments! Have a great day! xoxo
y/n POV
These last two months have been pretty chill at work. I felt good. It wasn't so tiring like the other month. I was so glad we didn't have to change the schedule almost every single week. It got better. I had many times meet up with Svenja and also to find many more information about my chance to study. I really wanted to study again.
I was really focus on my laptop until my phone rang. It was my mom.
Suga POV
It has been months that I met her almost regularly in our dream. We talked about so many things. She loved cats she said. She wasn't really busy at work anymore but still it was exhausting. Restaurant was a brutal place to work. I really got to know her more and more. She was a chatty girl, she always tried to please everybody. I wasn't interested so much anymore to see her face but I felt the sensation of wanting to be with her. I felt giddy and happy every time I saw her. She listened to all of my stories.
There were times when she didn't understand what I was talking about, but to know that she wanted to learn, made me feel appreciated. Every single day I couldn't wait to meet her and tell her what we did in the studio. Or what Jin cooked for us, or what dad jokes he said, or how great Jungkook at killing those players in the game I didn't understand. Like, I wanted to talk to her about anything because I know she listened. She cared. She wanted to know.
The way she talked about her family made me feel soft. She loved them dearly. Flew far away from her family to reach her dream must be the hardest decision she had to make and I adored her for her effort.
She didn't hesitate to burst out the ugliest laughter she had. That was how homey we got. She told me the most embarrassing moment she experienced, and it was indeed very embarrassing, I'm not going to lie. She really got me. She was so cheerful. I couldn't stop thinking about her every day especially when I went to bed. The happiness inside me exploded. I was so happy I couldn't wait to just sleep and soon go to the weird bedroom.
Namjoon and Jin knew everything about her also because I told them. They fully supported me. Honestly, I didn't know when I would let the others know about her. I wanted them to know but maybe not yet. I wasn't ready for their reaction.
Today was a very exhausting day. We had performance here and there. After that we had some photo shoots, and then magazine interview. Not to mention about being alone in my studio and doing my own business. Time passed so fast. Now it was time to sleep and ready for another performance tomorrow out of town. Pretty far away. So, I needed to rest.
Yes! I'm here again. I couldn't wait to talk to her about my new song I've just done in my studio. She would love it. Oh, and about Jin and Namjoon wanted me to send their regards. I had to tell her first that they both knew about this dream so she wouldn't be shocked. The photo shoots were somehow very tiring too. Every time I posed, I remembered that y/n would find these photos and she might laugh. So, I had to make it as natural as possible and that was hardcore!
Jimin even asked me whether I was okay or not. I was posing too many times and he said it was all very weird and stiff. Like he could do better?? Well, yes, he was able to do it very well.
Jungkook also told me I was happier lately. He didn't speculate many things he just said he was happy when I was happy. He was the cutest. I was so close to tell him about y/n.
I didn't know how long I waited but it was a long time and y/n wasn't here. Time flew slowly. I did hope she would appear and call my name like she always did. Usually if I was already in this room it didn't take long for her to be here also. But why wasn't she here? I couldn't wait any longer for her to arrive.
What if she would come when I woke up?? We wouldn't meet!
I would keep waiting until I wake up. If something bothered me, I could just ask Namjoon or Jin to stalk her social media to see if something was odd.
I woke up. She wasn't there. It was the first time I was all alone in that room. Why didn't she come? Was she getting bored of me?
***
"Suga, pass me the ketchup please." I heard him talking, I gave him the ketchup, but my mind wasn't there. I kept thinking about her. It was very odd of her.
"I said thank you." Hoseok demanded an answer.
"No need." Not interested at all.
Hoseok narrowed his eyes. He looked at the other boys, hoping he would find an answer.
"Just yesterday I told you that you were happier lately, but now you're back to where you were. What's happening?" Jungkook put down his chopstick.
"Nothing." I swore I didn't mean to be so unpolite but I couldn't resist my feeling.
"But-"
I saw from the corner of my eye Taehyung was telling Jungkook to not to keep asking me if I didn't want to answer.
"We are here if you need someone to talk to." Taehyung talked casually while eating a bunch of rice.
I sat in my studio and listened to the song I wanted to show her but she wasn't even there. I was mad and sad. All of a sudden, I felt so lonely. What if we wouldn't meet again? How about our stories? She told me she would love to hear my unpublished songs! Where was she?
"Suga, you don't look good. Why don't you take a nap instead?" Namjoon appeared out of nowhere. "The door wasn't closed so I came in and you didn't even pay attention to it. I bet you're too tired now."
I nodded. "10 minutes."
"You want a cup of tea?" he was truly the best leader. He always made sure all of us were healthy and happy.
"No, thanks. I'm good."
"Okay. Don't hide anything, ok? We all know something's off right now. You're very different today. Whatever it is, I hope it will be better. Hoseok thought you're mad because he ordered you something." He chuckled. I had to apologize to Hoseok. He didn't deserve it. "Good night."
"Good night."
Before he closed the door, I heard they were whispering on my door.
"Did he say something?"
"No. We better wait."
"Is it because of the ketchup?"
"You really think he would get mad because of a fcking ketchup?"
"Does he have a girlfriend maybe?"
I froze. I did act like I missed my girlfriend. But she was not my girlfriend. She was just.. a stranger in my dream.. and I got too comfy. I guessed this feeling needed to be controlled.
It had been more than a month we haven't seen each other. I was all alone again and again here in this room. I wanted to see her. I wanted to hear her day, her work, her friends, her family, her pet in her hometown, the restaurant she visited, the progress of finding any university, her hair problem. Everything.
I think I missed her. I missed her voice, I missed her ugly laughter when she couldn't handle it anymore, I missed her jokes, I missed her presence. Where is she?
Something was really odd. I needed Namjoon's and Jin's help. They must have any clue that I didn't think of. I was so stuck. I didn't want to think about the worse scenario. I pretended it wasn't even there.
The room felt very empty without her. I reached the little table she used to sit on. As I sat there, I was heart broken. I really missed her. I felt my throat closing up. What is wrong with me?
Was that possible that she was here before I came? Hopefully not. I would be very angry if it was possible. Did I say something wrong? Did I do something bad? What did I do? She should've told me if she didn't like something about our last conversation. She should've not just disappear, like I could find her.
I couldn't recall how many times this month that I've been waiting for her but she was nowhere to be found. It was almost like a nightmare. I couldn't do much. I couldn't wake up when I wanted to. I had to wait until I was awake.
All I hope was nothing happened to her. I hope she was doing okay. I hope we would meet again. I couldn't wait any longer but I had to. I had to wait for her to come back.
I was awake with tears on my cheeks. DID I CRY???? I opened my window to let some fresh air come in to my bedroom. It was pretty windy that night. The bushes were slowly bumping into another. My mind was wandering around. Those questions were still there. I still could recall how lonely it was there without her. It was very uncomfortable. The first time I met her I thought it was so awkward and weird being in a room with a woman I didn't know. Now, I thought it was far more awkward and strange to be not in a room with her. Everything felt different and odd.
"Can't sleep, huh?" the voice shocked me to the core. I turned my head to the left and find Taehyung was also staring from his window.
"You shocked me!" he really did.
"Did you cry?" he got wide eyed over there. I had trouble maintaining eye contact with him because I did cry and he caught me off guard.
"What? No."
Taehyung leaned on his window. "You're a bad liar." He chuckled. "Why do you want to hide it so much? There's nothing wrong with it."
"I'm not hiding anything, Taehyung."
"Do you secretly have a crush or a girlfriend?" he was right to the point. But that was a question in my mind too. She wasn't my girlfriend but did I have a crush on her?
"Why? Do I look like someone who's having a crush? Do I look like I fall in love? Do I look stupid?"
"Stop being very defensive. It makes everything more obvious." He closed his window.
Less than 2 minutes he was suddenly in my room. He literally came into my room without knocking first. I didn't understand how did he got the balls to do that?
"I'm no an expert but at some points you were smiling a lot. Like, A LOT. Even if it's not funny you just smile and laugh. You know you're not that kind of person."
Did I really do that?
"You are so full of energy. Something pushed you really hard. Like, you want to show off very bad."
"..our fans of course."
"It's different." He leaned forward. "But these past few weeks you look so sad. So desperate. Something was off. You still practice like usual, but it's not like, you know, full of energy. It looks like you're full of anger. You're really mad about something. You don't smile that much anymore, instead you're more savage than before."
"..but I'm doing okay. I'm not mad."
"And one last thing, you somehow kept listening to me. Let me guess, you don't even know that you're having a crush. How funny. Poor woman. You better tell her, Suga. Before it's too late."
"You were talking nonsense the whole time. Go back to your room because I'm about to go back to sleep."
"Ok, all right. I'll find out who's that poor girl. Good night."
Yeah, like you could.