Hello readers,
Welcome back to my Taejin au!!
We will be taking a peek into Jin's past in this chapter, so grab your tissues before you start!!
The parts that are italicized are either from the past / flashback or it is someone's inner thoughts!!
English is not my first language, hence expect spelling mistakes and grammatical errors.
*****
Jin entered the condo to find Jimin reading a book in the living room.
"Jin hyung...", Jimin jumped up from the couch excitedly.
Jin smiled, "Did you have your dinner?"
Jimin nodded and looked behind Jin, "How was your dinner with Junghoon? And where is V hyung?"
"He will be back soon. Now, go to bed", Jin walked past Jimin, after ruffling his hair.
Jimin noticed the gloomy look on Jin's face and caught his wrist, stopping him from climbing the stairs to his room.
"Is everything alright, Jin hyung? Why is V hyung not with you? You both left together, didn't you?", Jimin asked suspiciously.
"Chim...", Jin sighed, "I asked you to go to bed. We will talk tomorrow morning, okay?"
Jimin pouted, "Good night, hyung"
Jin patted the younger's shoulder and retired to his room. Jimin looked towards the door again in disappointment. He had been waiting for Taehyung to give the recipe book, which he had bought with Jungkook that afternoon.
"I guess I need to wait until morning", Jimin heaved a sigh and took the book back to his room, after throwing a worried glance towards Jin's room.
Jin entered his room and stripped off his clothes. He threw them into the laundry bin and took his towel to the bathroom. He stood in the shower and let the cold water hit his body, to wake himself up from the nightmare he had experienced. He then lathered his body with the most expensive body wash. It was strawberry flavored and the scent spread across the shower area at once. But neither the fragrance nor the soft foam or the cold water could calm down Jin's agitated mind that night.
Jin began his usual routine of scrubbing himself, which he had always followed every time he came back from his so-called dates with his targets. He rubbed the loofah against his skin a bit harder, trying to discard every speck of dirt that was sticking to his skin. But the dirt only seemed to penetrate his skin, as Taehyung's accusations of seducing and sleeping with his targets echoed in his ears repeatedly. He threw the loofah away in anger and began scratching his skin with his nails.
Tears streamed down his cheeks and faint sobs escaped his lips, as Jin continued to assault himself, struggling to scrape off the filth from his body. But he felt even dirtier than before every time he remembered the look he saw on Taehyung's face. His conscience blamed him for every thing that Taehyung had accused him of, and Jin ended up hitting the wall and crying out loud in agony.
After having done with inflicting enough pain on himself, Jin towel dried himself and changed into comfortable clothes. He went back downstairs and checked on Jimin, to find the boy sleeping peacefully in his room. He was tempted to join Jimin in his bed and curl himself inside Jimin's comforting embrace. He missed cuddling with Jimin and that particular night, he didn't want to be left alone either. But he decided against it and closed the door to Jimin's room without making any noise. He settled on the couch in the living room and glanced at the time in his mobile phone.
It was half past 12 and Taehyung wasn't home yet. Ever since he started living in Taehyung's place, never once had Taehyung been late from work. He always made sure to be present at the condo for dinner. Although Taehyung never admitted it aloud, Jin understood that Taehyung was making a routine of having dinner with him and Jimin, which he had come to know in the past as a habit that Taehyung had followed in his parents' house. It would be a lie if Jin hadn't looked forward to dinner time every day. But, he realized that he was too quick to assume that it was going to last forever.
Worried about his whereabouts, Jin tried calling Taehyung's number, only to be redirected to his voicemail. The hurt look on Taehyung's face when he was asked to leave, flashed across Jin's mind, leaving him scared about Taehyung's safety. He continued dialing Taehyung's number repeatedly, blaming himself again for leaving Taehyung alone in the park. He even contemplated if he should ask Yoongi to locate the last active location of Taehyung's phone signal. But he knew that Taehyung wouldn't like it.
Jin didn't know where to go in search of Taehyung. He didn't know whom to contact to check on Taehyung. It was all dark and scary, just like how it was before he met Taehyung in his life.
*****
Poverty is an incurable social disease and Jin had suffered enough because of it when he lived in the orphanage. But neither did he have any complaints about his life nor did he care about his financial status. He was an optimistic and hardworking person, who always had faith that there would be light at the end of every dark tunnel. He strongly believed that 'forever is composed of nows' and so he lived his present to the fullest.
Jin never worried about anything in his life or had any dreams for his future. According to him, there was nothing lacking in his life and after meeting Jimin, taking care of the younger had become his sole purpose in life. Jimin was five years younger than him and he had captured Jin's heart as soon as he set his foot inside the orphanage. Just a few months of being together and Jin had latched himself too much to Jimin. He spent his every day taking care of Jimin and his needs. Jimin became his priority and everything else came after Jimin.
It was all peaceful and fun, until Jin turned seventeen... until Jimin fell sick. Initially, it was just difficulty in breathing which occurred rarely if Jimin strained himself too much. But gradually Jimin began feeling dizzy quiet often and found it difficult to breathe for a prolonged period of time, accompanied by a sharp pain in his chest. The rural hospital, where they had an initial check-up, diagnosed the illness to be asthma. Jimin was prescribed medication and managed well with the help of an inhaler.
Although Uncle Sejin, the warden of their orphanage, took care of all the expenses, Jin understood that it was high time that he stopped being a child. He knew that uncle Sejin was already struggling to manage the expenses of the orphanage and Jin didn't want to burden him with Jimin's medical bills as well. He had a year more to stay in the orphanage until he turned eighteen. But he stepped out of the orphanage alone for the first time in his life, much to the dislike of uncle Sejin, to help Jimin.
Coming from a poor background with less education, Jin didn't know much about the world until he started walking down the streets of Haeundae alone. He rented a small room in a rundown building, and got a job at a convenience store and a café. Apart from the manual labor and tiredness, Jin didn't have much trouble with managing his own expenses and saving enough for Jimin's medicines and his other necessities.
However, everything fell apart when Jimin was admitted to the hospital because of a lung ailment a year later. The doctors at the rural hospital suggested that they get Jimin tested in the city hospital. After running numerous tests, the doctors from the multi-specialty hospital in Seoul claimed that Jimin's left lung had been damaged completely and he needed a transplant as soon as possible.
Jin was shattered. He knew what had led to Jimin's lung getting ruptured and damaged. He had heard all about the child's past after so much of coaxing and begging. But Jin had hoped that with him being near, Jimin would lead a happy and safe life at the orphanage. He always gave his complete attention to Jimin, not only because he was fond of Jimin, but also because he wanted Jimin to forget his painful memories and move on towards a happy future. But the young boy's past seemed to continue cornering him and hurting him in the form of a lung ailment.
Although uncle Sejin promised that he would somehow arrange money for Jimin's surgery, Jin understood that the chances were very slim. He was ready to toil away from dawn to dusk to earn money for Jimin, but he knew that it would still take years or at least months for him to save that huge amount that was required for a transplant surgery. And when the boy asked if he was going to die soon with teary eyes, Jin broke into pieces. Losing Jimin wasn't even the last thing that he could endure in his life. It was like rocking and nurturing a baby in his arms for so long with all the love and attention, only to lose the child to illness. No, Jin was not ready for that.
Jimin's medical bills kept growing and Jin began working in five different places a day to save money. He had only two meals a day, and that was only because he needed energy to work all day. He minimized all his needs to save as much as possible from the money he earned. He contacted the adults who grew up at the orphanage to seek help. He requested allowance from his boss at the places he worked. He asked for donations and loans from the customers at the bar where he worked. But everything went futile as he just received insults and disgusting remarks from everyone. But the more he was pushed, the more he became determined to save Jimin.
One fine day, just like a miracle, a man approached Jin, promising him that he would donate a hefty amount to Jimin's treatment. Jin was on cloud nine until he heard what the man wanted in return from him. Being shocked would be an understatement of what he felt that day. Whoring himself was something that had not even crossed his mind while begging for money. In fact, Jin was too young and naïve at that time to even understand that he would receive money in exchange for sleeping with someone.
After a night when he was forced to kneel and suck by a noble human who promised him all the richness in the world, Jin didn't have much choice than to respond to him by smashing a bottle of whiskey on his head and running away from the place. For the first time in his life, Jin felt scared. He felt lost and worried about the future. He felt his confidence crumbling drastically.
During the one year time that Jin spent alone outside the orphanage, he had only met people who insulted him for begging shamelessly or agreed to help him if he was ready to give them something in return. He was asked to be a sub to a gay dom, he was invited to join an orgy, he was offered to act in porn, he was requested to carry weapons illegally across the city, he was forced to sell drugs to school kids and he almost got sold as a slave to a rich man. By seeking help, Jin had thought that people would come forward to help him. After all he was taught that the door opens only if we knock on it. But very belatedly, Jin realized that he had become an easy prey to those monsters by talking about his miseries and requesting help.
If only he and Jimin had a family... if only they had received a good education... if only they had gained good friends... but they were alone in this big world. And Jin tried his best to survive for the sake of his Jimin. He held on to those high moral values and ethics firmly, which he had learnt from his childhood in the orphanage. He worked without rest to keep the flame of his life lit, hoping that a miracle would happen. And it did happen when a man threw an old-fashioned fountain pen near his feet. It was the first time someone had asked him to be brave and protect himself. Yes, the pen wouldn't be of much help but as the man suggested, it would help him one way or the other. And that was the only act that Jin considered as a help till date.
"I am Kim Taehyung and I can protect you much better than that pen or anyone else in this world"
Jin went to the tiny place where he stayed for rent, clutching the pen tightly to his chest and trying to remember the face of the tall man. He wondered if it was a sign from God that help was on its way to save his Jimin. With small smile on his face and hope in his heart, Jin walked fast into the building, only to come face to face with two figures, who were huddled against the wall near the staircase. Startled by them in the darkness, Jin shrieked in fear and stumbled on the steps near the building entrance.
Soon, the whole building lit up and he saw his landlady standing in the arms of a stranger. Just like that, without any hesitation, the lady accused Jin of trying to rob her when her husband arrived on the scene and the man who was feeling her up seconds ago became the savior who had saved the lady from Jin. Jin didn't even get the time to justify himself when his landlord punched him in his face. Jin was too stunned to stop the abuse as punch after punch rained on his face. He was close to giving up when he felt the pen in his hand.
Jin didn't know what gave him the courage, the pen or the shame he felt, but next thing he knew was him stabbing his landlord on his shoulder with the pen. Only when his landlord screamed in pain, did Jin realize what he had done and all he could do next was to run away from there.
The rest of the night passed with Jin wandering around the deserted streets of Haeundae, shivering in cold and fear. He had nowhere else to go and going back to the orphanage meant telling everything to uncle Sejin, who would never allow him out of the orphanage ever again. With blood-stained pen and tear-stained cheeks, Jin sat at a bus stop, crying his heart out. All he wanted was to have Jimin breathe peacefully without feeling any pain. Every time Jimin struggled to breathe and cried in pain, a part of him died with Jimin. And when every other door remained closed for Jin, no matter how much he knocked, begged and cried, Jin decided to force them open.
The world was not like how Jin had imagined it to be. The men, the women, the humans themselves were the most disgusting life forms on Earth. Everyone was selfish and dishonest. The sixth sense which God had given humans was only used by people to hurt and destroy other humans. Jin hated them. He detested them all. He was disgusted with them.
That lonely night taught Jin the most essential lesson he needed to survive in this cruel world. He understood the two main things that would help him save himself and Jimin. One, money is the actual elixir of life and two, the worth of what he possessed and what others saw in him.
Jin was the investment and the returns were not only promising but also hefty.
Jin began understanding the hidden meanings and indirect invitations behind every greeting he received at the bar. It took a moment, just a moment, for Jin to decide what he wanted to do next. The moment he realized that everyone around saw him as a weak prey, he understood that he had to become a predator to protect himself and Jimin. But he was not a Lion, both physically and mentally. Hence he emerged as a fox amidst those Lions and Tigers.... a sly, cunning and ruthless fox.
Jin had two months' time to arrange money for Jimin's surgery. If he failed to arrange the said amount, Jimin's name would go down the list. Yes, it was the first come first serve based list according to the severity of the illness when it came to transplant surgery. There were very few donors in the world who were ready to sell their body parts after death, not to mention the generosity of people who were living. Not even 25% of the human population were ready to make an eye donation, which would be taken from them after death instead of being fed to the soil. But no, people were so fond of their eyes that they planned to take those with them to their afterlife.
Jin had to arrange money for not only the surgery, but also for the organ, which he had to buy in the black market. At the age of eighteen, Jin had nothing but himself to earn that much money. So, he displayed himself to those eagles pretending to be a fish which was out of the water. They pitied him and sympathized with him. They offered comfort and help, hoping that they could take advantage of his innocence in return for the money. But Jin was no longer a fish. He had become a snake and he needed more than the few bills that they were ready to pamper him with. He wanted someone who would shower him with money and that's when he noticed his prey, his first target.
The man was handsome and charming, and he fulfilled the primary criteria which Jin was looking for in his prey. He was rich, very rich...
Jin didn't have any strategy or plan when he began. But when the man approached Jin again at the bar a few days later, Jin was a changed person. Jin faced the man boldly and smiled at him for the first time.
"Good evening, sir", Jin smiled politely, "I couldn't thank you properly for the pen last time. I am sorry and thank you, sir", he blushed.
The man nodded with a chuckle, "So, can I take this as you are not scared of me anymore?"
Jin nodded fast, "I am sorry if I have offended you"
"Not at all... instead, I am glad that you chose to talk freely with me. So, shall we begin again? I am Kim Taehyung", Taehyung extended his hand over the bar counter.
Jin looked at Taehyung's hand and then at his face. He felt nothing at that moment. He wasn't scared or guilty. He had only one goal in his mind, which was to squeeze every penny out of the man and not get fooled or taken advantage of by him.
"I am Lee Jae-hwan, sir, but you can call me Ken", he closed the handshake with confidence, and proceeded to explain when Taehyung arched his eyebrows curiously, "Ahhh we get a lot of foreigners here, hence the name, Ken"
Taehyung nodded, murmuring the name like he was tasting a fine wine, and Jin observed the man keenly, the wheels in his mind turning wildly for the first time in his life.
*****
The incoherent noise of beep sound from the door jolted Jin out of his old memories. It was close to 2AM and Jin hurried towards the door panicked. When the beeping sound increased from outside the door, Jin checked the monitor of the security lock to find an unsteady Taehyung messing with the door lock. Jin opened the door in haste, and a strong stench of alcohol invaded his lungs, as he stood stunned at Taehyung's disheveled state.
"Tae, are you okay?", Jin moved closer to keep Taehyung from falling.
"Don't touch me", Taehyung snarled and smacked Jin's hand away.
Jin flinched in shock and moved back immediately. Taehyung staggered into the condo, while Jin followed behind, wondering if he should just let Taehyung be for hurting him and coming home drunk. But he moved on autopilot and held Taehyung securely in his arms, when the latter stumbled against the couch. Taehyung groaned in annoyance and pushed Jin away, while at the same time Jimin peeked out of his room.
"What happened? V hyung, my God, are you okay?", Jimin hurried out of his room in worry.
But a sharp look from Jin stopped Jimin from moving forward. He looked to and fro from Jin to Taehyung and retreated back to his room without another word. He knew what that gaze from Jin meant. No matter what might happen or whatever he might hear, he was not allowed to leave his room that night. Jimin locked his door and crouched down on the floor near his door. He trusted Taehyung but his trauma of dealing with drunk people had not healed yet and he was thankful that Jin didn't let him see Taehyung's worst moment. Leaning against the door, Jimin sharpened his ears and braced himself to run out any second to save his Jin hyung if his V hyung chose to hurt him.
Taehyung was not even in a state to register Jimin's presence at the house. He climbed up the stairs unsteadily with a very worried Jin following him quietly. Even after Taehyung reached his room and slammed the door closed, Jin stood outside the room and contemplated if he should leave or stay behind to check on Taehyung. But in any case he might have to step inside Taehyung's room, for which he didn't have the courage yet.
In the three weeks that he had stayed in Taehyung's house, not once had Jin entered Taehyung's room. After Taehyung announced that the room belonged to them both, Jin never dared to set his foot inside that room. But a loud crashing noise from inside the room made Jin throw all the caution to the wind, and he pushed open the door to Taehyung's room. He entered the room without hesitation and looked at Taehyung in horror.
The room was dark with a faint illumination coming from the bathroom. The shirt Taehyung was wearing was discarded near the foot of the bed and a half-naked Taehyung stood wobbling in the middle of the room. The broken pieces of a vase were scattered on the ground just near his feet.
"Tae...", Jin rushed to Taehyung and pulled him away from the broken pieces.
Taehyung struggled against Jin's hold but Jin somehow pulled him near the wardrobe without them both getting hurt. Taehyung jerked himself out of Jin's arms and pushed him back by his shoulders.
"How dare you enter this room? How dare you enter the room which I built specifically for my baby? How dare you...", Taehyung yelled, slamming Jin against his wardrobe.
*****
AN: And that's enough angst for today!! 😳😳
I am just an amateur writer and I tried my best to elaborate Jin's past in this chapter... hoping that I did justice to his backstory, I am signing off for tonight... see you all soon with the next chapter...❤❤
Please do leave your comments and votes if you had liked the chapter!!