"Scaramouche..." you uttered.
"What the fuck, Y/n?!" before you could state your gratitude, he started to yell at you. Anger and frustration were clear in his eyes and in the way he gripped the stirring wheel.
"What in your right mind did you ever think to walk alone at night?!" he yelled again as you flinched a bit. "Do you have any idea how dangerous those parts of the town were?! You don't even know where you're going! I hope you know that you still have missing parts of your memories!"
What was his problem?! Why was he shouting at you?! Did he feel so responsible that he had to go out of his way and save you again?! Was it such a hassle? because if it was then he should've left you to die out there than having to get saved half-assed-ly.
"I know!" you yelled back, chest moving up in down as your breath hitched. "Why do you care anyways?!"
Your question changed the look in his eyes. From frustration to confusion, he started to drive slowly as he turned his head to look at you.
"What?"
"Why do you care if I was gonna die or not?" you rephrased your question again before slumping down the seat with your arms crossed.
"Do you think I'm stupid enough to not notice the way you treat me?" you asked. It was rather a rhetorical question as Scaramouche didn't need to answer anyway.
"Every time you see me, you look at me like I'm a pest or something. You always have rude comments about me when we speak and you never even bother to speak to me outside of the student council!" you complained, looking out of the window as your face was turned away from him.
He knew he was being mean and he might've taken it too far on some occasions. If he answered your question right now, if he tried to tell you the reason, it would be like admitting to you that you two had a relationship.
He knows you couldn't remember anything that happened between you two. Well, anything bad at least. Maybe it was because those parts were the ones that brought you so much pain that you ended up locking them away out of fear that you might remember what you had to go through at that time.
"Was it because of our relationship?" his thoughts were destroyed as you spoke those words. "When I asked you, you didn't deny nor did you confirm. And then next, you'd always pop up in several memories of mine. It could've meant something."
"I don't know what happened or what I did but I was willing to try being with you again," you mumbled, meaning for that to be for yourself but his ears definitely heard them.
"What? So you could remember everything?" he sarcastically said. It was rude but it was even crueler for you to get in a relationship with him just to recall your memories.
"It's selfish but maybe," you uttered in a whispered voice. If you did end up remembering all of it in the middle of your newly born relationship, it would all go downhill and you two would just end up hurting each other all over again.
"What is up with you wanting to remember everything?" he groaned out. It was supposed to be a light-hearted question but to you, it meant so much.
"Because I want to remember! Do you have any idea how it feels like having a blank area in your mind? Do you know how it feels like to be missing a part of yourself?! I want to remember who I used to be before!" you yelled, sobbing as tears failed to keep themselves from falling. You felt a little sensitive about the topic but you were damn sure your feelings were valid.
"I don't know what to do. I feel like I've missed a part of my life and I'm afraid that plenty of my memories never return," you mumbled, pulling your knees together as you hugged them to hide away your sobbing face.
It was silent for a while, the sound of the air conditioning was the only thing heard as you two drove on the open wide road.
"The person you are right now..." you were taken out of your thoughts as the boy next to you spoke. "It's the person you were before."
What? The person you were before? How does that even make sense?!
"Sweet, kind, care-free, and straightforward. That's the type of person you were." Scaramouche spoke sincerely which was somehow new yet comforting to you.
"You're not afraid to speak your mind and you're not afraid to risk things for the sake of being with the people you love." at some part, he was lying. Yes, you were that type of beautiful soul he would talk about but that was just how you were before your relationship. While you two were together, you had started becoming so uptight and toxic. Even your friends and family were affected by your sudden change in your attitude which makes him think. Maybe he was the reason for your change.
"If you're afraid that you'd never remember all of your memories, that's alright. You have all the time in the world to make new ones." you finally raised your head as you looked at him. He was looking at the road, the city lights and the moon reflecting on the glass were the only things illuminating his figures and highlighting his eyes. The glint of the lights far away looked like sparkles in his eyes which only made his indigo orbs similar to a night sky filled with stars.
"Make new ones. With your family, your friends." you stared at him before tilting your head to the side. Eyes widening at the breathtaking view of the city lights reflecting on the waters. It was sending a sense of thrill and warmth within your heart to see such beautiful sight with such a person taking you to see it.
"New ones with me," Scaramouche whispered.
He never wanted to admit it but the more time you spent with him, the thinner his resistance ran. He told himself to grow strong and make sure to stay away from you and he intended to make you hate him in every single way but it only managed to get him closer to you even more than before.
Maybe if he tried, it could be different. Wait, no. He shouldn't be thinking like this!
He was going insane. Insane over you. The way your face lit up at the view of the city, the way your face put up a small smile at his advice, everything about you was just too much. If only he could be with you again. Freely, not having to keep his adoration for you a secret.
He never knew.
He never knew that his heart could be so selfish.