Shadows Behind Me
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»— ⊷ ☩ ⊶ —«
I watched the fire calmly flickering in Miss Sophia's fireplace between two small cherubim angel statue.
Miss Sophia's eyes searched mine as I returned her gaze, she asked "So, the shadows... do you still see them?"
"For now? no." I shook my head.
Above the folder, her eyes glistened from behind her reading glasses as if she had just found something I had hidden. She placed the folder on the desk with both hands. "Doctor Henry was supposed to look after you, but he just left the academy last night for his important family matters back in his hometown. He told me I'll look after you in his replacement if that's good with you?"
I gave my head a nod. "It's okay."
Then a form of smile spread across her face, a sweet smile but yet, deceiving from the way she looked at me. "Well, I'm delighted to help you, and whenever you need someone's professional help, just let me know, alright?"
I smiled a little bit and nodded once more. I took a quick glance around the room, which was surrounded by tall bookcases and had a lavish crimson carpet in the doorway. "Back to your condition, when was the last time you had an episode?" Miss Sophia asked as she looked down at my mental health record file.
"Just last month, I think."
She looked straight up at me and asked "The fire incident?" Yes, that episode in which I was falsely accused of a crime. "Sorry, do you recall what happened?" She added.
As I struggled to find my words, I frowned and nervously scratched my thighs with my thumbs. Miss Sophia smiled apologetically as she waved me off, saying "I'm sorry, I didn't mean forcing you to remember, it's not my intention and I know you were traumatized by that event."
I knitted my brows and let out a weak chuckle, "Actually, I just don't remember anything. I'm sorry." I shook my head slightly, but that doesn't mean I didn't do something bad, something unforgivable that I hurt people without knowing, a reason why I'm here in the first place.
She pursed her lips, placed her elbows over the desk and rested her chin on her intertwined hands "It's okay my dear.... do you still take your medications?"
I gave a false smile and nodded, "Yes."
"Good. We can start now."
She leaned back in her chair and placed a glass of freshly poured water in front of me along with a little cup contained one pill from her drawer. "Take one pill for today and then— tomorrow, let's start for two pills a day." She said as she didn't buy my response.
I took a moment to stare at it— after all, it had been quite some time since I had last taken one of those. Why would I take those again? But I suppose I don't have much of a choice, do I? I sucked in a deep breath, took the small cup and the glass of water while miss Sophia watching me.
I tilted my head upward, let the pill fall on my tongue, and drank half a glass of water while tasting the bitterness of the medicine. When I was done, I put the small cup and glass down and looked back at Miss Sophia. She gave me a quick sweet beam and I returned it with my force little-uncomfortable-smile.
She closed my files and extended her hand, saying, "Miss (y/n), it was delightful talking to you and I hope the academy will treat you right."
Treat me right by having a detention from a little silly fight earlier in my first day, sure. "Thank you." I got to my feet and gave her hand a shake.
"You may go, and I will see you again tomorrow, same time and same place." She announced cheerfully with sweet beam still plastered over her face.
I smiled faintly and nodded before I wore my shoulder bag and heading outside as I opened the door—
...
And I saw two teenagers making out in the bed "Jesus! Can't ya'll lock the door?" I shut the door and I moved to the next door but it was locked. My body felt so hot and exhausted from the party downstairs, a loud Drop It Like It's Hot! by Haarper blasting in the background while I walked through the hallway with wasted teenagers around. I was so dizzy and lost from where I was going, to look for my best friend Mia, and I couldn't see her everywhere in every room and bathrooms.
When I opened the last door in the corner, it was a guest room, the light was off except the lamp on the nightstand and the fireplace was still on lit. I went and took a look around while I called her name.
"Mia? You here?" I called her again. I sat down on the bed as I felt so dehydrated and tired from dancing and drinking, and pulled my phone out from my purse and saw the time; 3:46 AM and then I finally decided to use a phone call, trying to reach her but she wasn't answering. I sighed impatiently, set my elbow on the nightstand, leaned my forehead over my hand, and massaged it in an effort to get the dizziness to go away.
"Pick up. Pick up." I gave another ring and there was still no answer. I let out a sigh in annoyance by realizing Jerry's house was so big mostly like a mansion and plus, there was so many people in here that it was difficult to find for somebody. I gave Mia a one last ring and this time she ended the call. "What the hell?"
I put my phone down and texted her instead;
__________________
I heard the door opened behind me, the lamp went off and the door shut. My eyes closed firmly as my head was still aching from dizziness and I needed water "Mia?"
I felt them sat down on the bed across me. "Is.. is.. that you, Mia?" My voice stammered little like a drunk which I was.
They sat behind me, moved closer, and both of their hands grasped my arms and forced me turn around and face them.
"(y/n), hey? I was looking for you." Jerry grinned slyly while he was examining my whole presence in desperation.
"Jerry?" My eyes slowly opened, my vision was a bit blur. I grimaced "The fuck you doing here?" I asked like this wasn't his house.
"I was about to ask the same thing, babe." He cocked his head to the side while he gazed down at my lips, held my chin and pulled my face closer to his.
I cringed from the way he touched and looked at me "Fuck off." I wished I was sober enough as I shoved his face unsteadily. Then I shoved him again with my elbow because he wouldn't let go, but this time he was too strong and grabbed my arm and pushed me down the bed while his other hand gripped over my neck. My eyes shut as I felt the headboard smack against the top of my head
"Ah! Get off of me." I glared at him while I tried pushing him away with my legs, but his knee pressed against mine, making it difficult for me to get away.
He stared back at me desperately and his grip loosened when I felt suddenly weak and exhausted, at that moment, he leaned his face closer to mine and placed his other hand on my thigh. "Let me take care of you," he demanded.
When the door next to us opened, Mia's eyes went wide in disbelief after she squinted to see us on the bed clearly. "(y/n)?"
I rasped "Mia" out of exhaustion and helplessness.
Help me.
When I tried to get up, Jerry's arm prevented me. Mia was too drunk to recognize that I was in danger, but her jealousy overcame her worry as she slammed the door and left.
No.
I badly needed her help, but I was too drunk and weak to scream out loud in frustration. Weak. That is not me.
Jerry leaned back away little to say "I saw the way you looked at me back there." My brows furrowed and scoffed in disbelief.
"What?! You think I was-"
"Asking for it?" He pinched the spaghetti strap of my fitted black lace dress.
"Fuck no! If you think I like you in that way? Hell, I don't." I spat with my eyes flashed in anger, "So get your fragile ego off me, you narcissistic asshole."
He placed his lips on my neck and said, "Try me." I flinched in disgust as his lips touched my skin and I could smell beer and sweat on him. I tried to get away, but he was too strong with that jock body, and I was powerless to resist. I muttered angrily, "Get the fuck-," and when I turned to gaze on my sideways as I sensed a figure, I saw a silhouette that looked like a woman on the wall with a disaster bat wings on her back, I blinked and it was gone into a vase from a coffee table near the fireplace, What the hell was that? I was too drunk to comprehend what I had just seen, and suddenly there was a brown insect flying over to the concrete cross symbol on the fireplace frame.
It landed over there. It was facing us. It felt like it was staring at me.
The curtain close to the fireplace was abruptly set on fire when the insect's wings flapped, and the flames spread more quickly. I yelled "I said get the fuck off me!" as the eerie noises whispered behind my ears and caused the hair on the back of my neck and shoulders to stand up. I was terrified, my heart pounding, and also frustrated from Jerry's touch over my skin. I hastily grabbed the vase from the nightstand next to me, slammed it against his back, breaking it in half, causing him to groan in pain as I shoved him to the ground and gasped at the fire on the curtain.
"Bitch!" At that moment, Jerry started to smell smoke coming from behind him. He turned, gawked with a terrified expression, and crept back as he stared at the fire in complete shock. "Fuck! What did you do?!" The flames increased from the carpet to the floor and onto his shoe and pants.
While covering my mouth in disbelief, I gasped and got out of bed. Jerry screamed in pain as he unsteadily stood up, his entire body on fire. I immediately got outside the room, when I turned around and saw that everyone at the party had started to panic and almost the entire house had suddenly on fire, the other door across me opened and the people in that room ran off, pushing me into the way.
As they accidentally pushed me back into the room where I was, I fell over and dropped to the ground with my head resting on my right arm, made my head ache more. I tilted my head to look up and saw Jerry wailing in pain before he passed out next to the curtain and fireplace. I kept coughing up smoke until my vision began to blur and lastly, saw that insect on the cross symbol had fled out of my sight and the flames in the fireplace grew bigger with shadows and tiny lightings emerging towards me just before I passed out—.
My eyes drifted open as I closed the tall, heavy door behind me, turning my mind to the present and letting go of the awful past. I stood at the hall alone with no people around. The bitterness of the medication I kept beneath my tongue caused my expression to abruptly change. With a grimace on my face, I fake coughed harshly and spit out the tiny pill onto my palm. "Shit."
I turned to see if anyone else had noticed that, but nobody was here.
Because, as I previously mentioned, I quit taking medications because they are now useless, and I'm not gonna take one again just to waste and be delusional that I'm going to be okay when I'm not. Never will be.
༛༺༻༛
While heading to the next building, I noticed the blondie's group of guys entering the beautiful chapel-like building nine feet away from me. Near the Augustine, where they are, I had halted at a drinking fountain. Though they didn't see me, I noticed he wasn't with them. Where is he? But honestly, why do I care? Which I don't. (Or don't want to.)
After drinking some water, I gargled to get rid of the bitter taste on my tongue and spit the liquid out. I washed my palm after tossing the pill on the ground. When I looked down to see the pill, I noticed someone's foot next to it. I looked up and saw the man with the dreadlocks, whose skin is black and who has a stylish outfit with that badass leather coat. His eyebrows were raised as he waited for my explanation.
I stomped on the pill and buried it under the drinking fountain with soil while I wiped my wet bottom lip and chin with my thumb and said, "Don't say a word to anyone."
He raised both of his hands and said, "I won't, but littering is not proper."
"Okay, boy scout."
"Really?" He smiled amusedly.
I shook my head apologetically and said, "Yeah really.— No one has to know I quit taking them cause they just make me feel worse."
"I understand." He gave an upside down smile and he stepped closer, I moved back as he put his stainless tumbler beneath the tap.
"Don't worry, new kid. I won't tell a word to anyone." He said.
I scoffed and gave him a stern look before saying "Thanks, you better not."
He grinned "My name is Roland Sparks."
I smiled with amusement. "I'm (y/n) (l/n)."
Then Roland shook his head and looked around the area with a small smirk. He asked before turning to face me again "So, have you meet my friend Cam?"
I blinked and felt my cheeks flushed as a I didn't expect for that question. I gradually nod my head "Yeah— what about him?" I asked with a sheepish smile.
He closed his steel tumbler after filling it with water and shrugged. "He is—let me say—someone who everyone thinks he's a bad kind, which— not really."
I blinked and asked, "What do you mean?" Well, that's kind of intriguing story.
"All I can describe Cam— is a unpredictable man."
Man huh?
I felt myself chuckled softly then I bit my lower lip "What're you trying to say?" I asked with amused-puzzled smile on my face.
"This is a reform school, (y/n). Everyone has issues but him?— he is just a misunderstood one, so be careful." He said with tease tone in his voice.
I shook my head amusedly and snickered, "Yes, you mean the guy who I just met?— Does it really matter? Relax, didn't I just meet you too? I don't know who you are and him... but I think I'll be fine." Like why are you acting like you are familiar with my responsibilities in my life and who I am? Maybe you and everyone should be careful around someone like me.
I started hearing eerie noises behind me, which caused the hair on the back of my neck to stand up. I turned my head slightly and noticed a small shadow emerging over the tree's roots from the forest next the Augustine. What the hell, right now?
"Sorry, I mean— I just wanted to say that, this is not like your ordinary school (y/n) and-."
I looked back at him and clutched the lace of my shoulder bag and gave him a small sarcastic smile "I know about this academy since I've heard all about it back there in police station, Roland— and It's nice to meet you, by the way." I stated before heading inside the building.
As Roland watched me headed to the castle, Roland blew an air, "Ohh he is going to be crazy about her.." he muttered with an amused grin plastered over his face.
As I arrived in the hallway with teenagers around, I headed to my locker. It's a good thing I left those shadows back there before Roland would see me freak out over an air he could see. When I opened my empty locker, I saw the girl with blonde hair I've met a while ago outside the restroom.
"She's here." She mouthed at the guy, the guy with the same hair color as hers who I saw from earlier when Arriane showed me around the castle. Yeah, she was probably talking about me when I saw her glanced at where I was standing.
I placed the rest of my things in the locker, held my student file close to my chest before slamming the locker's door shut, and then I walked past them. As I hurried, I was unaware that my schedule had landed on the guy's foot.
"See you!" I overheard the girl saying bye to her friend— or boyfriend? They just seem super close, I don't know and I don't care.
"Hey, your schedule." I heard the guy calling someone then he mentioned "Hey, new girl!" He called someone like me.
I turned and he said "Your schedule." I saw my paper on the floor.
I walked over and said "Got it." Then we both bent down and we almost hit our heads together. "Sorry." He said.
Before I could pick it up, he quickly did so. He said "Here." and I took the paper.
"Thanks."
Together, we straightened our spines. As I turned to leave, he asked, "Have I seen you somewhere? Because you seem familiar,"
I halted and returned my gaze before I examined his face to recall if I've seen him before. A warm smile spread across his face but except his eyes. I noticed the color of his eyes— they are violet?
I crossed my arms and shook my head in confusion, "What? I don't think we've met before."
He chuckled a little bit. He gave a hesitant smile, but I wasn't sure if he was trying to flirt or not. "Then let me introduce myself, my name is Daniel Grigori." Because he almost studied my entire face, like as if I were an interesting book to read. Not going to lie though, his violet eyes caught my attention right away and were oddly comforting but mysterious— just not as mesmerizing as Cam's. Cam has emerald eyes that are more comforting, pure, and vibrant.
I shook his hand and felt the warmth of his palm "I'm (y/n), nice to meet you."
He smiled once again before cocking his head to the side and asking, "Hey, you want to do something fun?" He then narrowed his eyes.
Fun?
What fun?
That random question caused my heartbeat to halt— or perhaps his violet eyes locking with mine caused it.
I raised my brow in confusion with amusement as well as to why he was suddenly speaking to me in this way? When he had earlier looked at me with those critical eyes, but now— here we are.
"I'm— not interested." I answered the truth straight away and it's also because I just got here in this academy and I just met him.
He blinked multiple times with a puzzled look as he realized I was thinking a wrong idea about his question "Oh no, sorry I think you got a wrong idea."
When I looked into the distance and saw "the one and only Cam" hearing Arriane's voice in my head, I was unable to hear Daniel anymore because I had become so easily distracted.
[▶️]
Watching Cam pass the crowd of students alone, and I had no idea why, just by looking at him, my heart began to beat strangely while a flash of memory played back in the back of my mind about how, earlier, he had gazed into my eyes and placed my hair behind my shoulder just to see my whole face.
"Like I said (y/n), better special than ordinary." He moved closer, put my hair behind my shoulder.
My cheeks began to blush by just thinking about it, and everything around me seemed to stop moving except for him. It was as if I could only see him coming towards me, as if he had found me once his eyes landed on mine.
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