" his daughter is my wife."
Xiao x fem reader
[Part 3/3]
—In which a fight that considers herself as the enemy but every other love story needs it's happy ending, right?
an: very long chapter ahead!!
⚠Disclaimer ⚠
(Bit of)hurt /comfort
It was a bad idea.
How could you be so foolish? Because of you, xiao almost got killed, and lumine got hurt. It was all your fault.
"Is it Because of that stupid— STUPID dream?! It's JUST a dream yn when will you even understand that?!" You thought, walking even faster.
You were leaving liyue and it was for good.
Everything was a mistake, if you hadn't pursued what your dreams were all about, all of this wouldn't happen and you would have continued living a peaceful life without knowing who your real father is.
You would have lived a life unaware you are a child of a monster.
You thought, gripping your bag. is that why you had never remembered anything from your childhood? You were told that you were seen walking around in windrise before passing out but never found out why, you couldn't remember anything and how long you slept or how you managed to walk that far.
You considered it to be a fuzzy dream.
The dreams you had ever since who 'woke up from your coma' as the doctors and nurses had told you
You lived the next 5 years of your life without an aspect of knowledge of who you are.
Those dreams where showed you waking up in a domain covered in ice, a bed swirled with cryo flowers it's torn long and sharp almost protecting who was sleeping, and a chandelier that was infested in butterflies but it was all a dream, right?
Especially when it showed a man, whom your body called father but never considered him one, the monster that orders you to train to kill tirelessly night and day.
He'd told you that you were nothing but his weapon, a weapon he trains and polish until perfection, you are no human being in his eyes you are his sword that he made, everything is his chess piece for his plan and you are the queen and his slaves are his pawn.
He never loved your mother but she did, perhaps that's why he married her. she was strong and beautiful just what he wanted to make the perfect child and she let him do that all because of love...
You remember every face of the souls you killed, the horrified and pleading wish to be spared it's a scene that you can never unsee.
But there are times in your dreams that are, beautiful or that's what you like to think.
No, it's not scenery nor is it materials covered in gold and diamonds as one would describe a beauty, it was him.
A petite man, whose hair was long and silky with teal undertones and he's eyes shines gold under the light of the moon as he sat on the grass looking up at you.
In your dreams where you had no control over almost like a movie, you watch but you can feel the emotions of the person whom you call your past self yet you felt none, there was an empty void within you but with him, it felt the complete opposite, it was a warm and fluttering feeling. Your body in your dreams felt confused when this type of feeling concur
Perhaps she— you don't know what that feels back then.
The times when you watch yourself kill you couldn't feel anything from her; a puppet, a doll who your father once controlled but when meeting him it was the first time you felt somewhat captivated.
Old Feelings die hard, huh? Even tho you couldn't remember the man in your dreams who calls himself alatus, you felt like you've known him for years or that's what you used to think.
In your dreams, it showed you talking to the peculiar man and learning from him how to feel and how to heal.
Your father never taught you how to be a healer but you practiced to be one when you learned that his abilities can hurt him. Your dreams have shown you befriending the man and soon became a secret relationship with you and whenever you were with him you felt the calmest like your body had left its guard down for the first time.
But of course, you aren't so nice back then, a twisted mind you had. Now looking back you felt guilty for all the things you had done but back then your dreams showed none of that.
There was no remorse when killing, no mercy was shown and it disgusted you— refusing to believe that it was you.
And with him, your past self started to feel more and more obsessed. Every time the both of you are together you felt the need for him to stay by his side and whenever you meet him all bruised and hurt your hand itches to torture those who lay their hands on him, that includes 'him'.
And whenever your dreams showed you thinking about him being with someone else, you destroy anything and everything around you.
What scared you the most is when a time you heard your past self speak an oath, an oath that speaks of a twisted love of obsession that promises to kill those who come between friends or foe.
All of these are once you thought are dreams you considered nightmares.
Dreams that haunt you whenever you sleep, the dreams you thought were harmless until you decided to travel to liyue where you met him.
The person in your dreams that you called your lover.
Everything started spinning, doubting yourself— maybe it was a coincidence? There was no way if it was true that means...
No.
It's just a dream.
It was just a dream.
Oh, aren't you a fool, the fool who followed her curiosity? Befriending the adepti and falling for the adepti.
You are a fool who continues to fool yourself.
Reminding yourself everything is just a big coincidence
And there is no way you are the daughter of a monster.
You aren't a monster.
Or that's what you use to tell yourself, falling into a deep denial even after you saw the domain you explored with xiao and lumine.
Convincing yourself that it was all a coincidence, a big coincidence that the domain looks exactly like in your dream.
Only for it to come crashing down when a bunch of memories surge when the swarm of butterflies came in contact with you and when he almost fell down the cracked ground.
It was a whole different feeling, different from the cryo vision you held and when you first got it, you felt another power came gushing out of you.
The way your body moved in a hitch of time, manipulating the icy walls and the butterflies to catch xiao and get you all out of there a second before the domain crashes.
It was all your fault.
Your dreams had shown you that domain cancels powers other than yours making your friends more vulnerable.
He almost died because of you.
The thought of it makes you go crazy, they were endangered because of your selfishness and foolishness so you decided to leave liyue... For good. You had brought nothing but a distraction so far.
And the newfound memories you learned are overwhelming, you thought of walking faster and faster remembering the state xiao was in.
His condition wasn't the worse but you considered it to be one. He was in a coma and you had taken care of him, especially seeing the butterfly hidden by his side.
You knew what was happening to him yet couldn't do anything after all the butterflies no longer obey you as their master. Your stomach twists and turns at the thought of him waking up and his face contorts in disgust when he sees you.
who wouldn't especially when it's your father who enslaved him, that's how it should be.
You were confident he will despise you after learning the truth so when lumine offered to help on the 3rd day after 2 days of none stop looking after xiao you took the opportunity to leave liyue.
You excused yourself saying that you need to go back to mondstadt because of urgent matters not giving her a reason why.
But it was for the best, You had brought nothing but disaster for him, causing him more pain than he is in.
He didn't need anyone by his side especially when it was the likes of you.
'You are a monster yn,
A monster who will continue to suck out the life of whom you care to, just like him.'
Don't compare me to that man.
'Oh? Why wouldn't I? YOU are his daughter after all.'
You're mistaken, I'm not like him and I WILL NEVER BE LIKE HIM.
'but yn, you called us a monster when will you ever understand that you'll never get rid of your past? I am you and you are me, the souls you killed are still in your hands. It doesn't matter that you forgot your hands are still washed by the blood of those you sent to the afterlife, you are still his child by blood
Stop.
You can never fool yourself yn, you are a weapon.
SHUT UP
a weapon does not know how to be fooled and A weapon does not know how to love'
ʚ♡⃛ɞ
Hours after you drown in your thoughts an internal battle with yourself deciding which are right and wrong. It has also been an hour since you left, there was nothing in the distance it was a path of grass that seem to never end.
It was never been this long and exhausting before, perhaps you're already tired both mentally and physically.
You were never really strong when it come to emotion ever since you woke up and thought of being the daughter of such a cruel father tare you down even further.
Everything was gloomy and numb without him, it felt like without him someone had sliced you in half, a never-ending void in the depth of your being begging to be filled just to feel an even aspect of emotion. You started to realize this is what the past you felt then, dull, cold, and alone it was scary maybe this was the reason you obsessed over him.
A once wish making him stay by your side, to make him yours and yours only, you wanted him to be the only person whose face you'll always wake up onto, the man you gave your everything, you wanted to be the only person who sees him and would gladly pluck out the eyes those who try to steal a gaze.
You are obsessed and so as he.
Still deep in your thoughts, you failed to notice a presence appearing behind you.
Your body tenses when felt arms wrap around your waist, his face places on your shoulder as his body pressed against yours halting you.
"Yn, I finally found you."
Xiao mutters as its hot breath blows against your skin as you stood there frozen unable to think what to do or what to say, your body trembling wishing for him to let go, push you away and cuss you out, it would be much easier to leave that way.
He had every right to hate you so why? Why does he hug you so gently almost as if he was afraid to hurt you? Why did he have to hold you close, so close that one would think he was afraid to lose you?
"Shouldn't you be resting, xiao?" Your voice trembles while his grip tightens but wasn't enough to hurt you "shouldn't you be staying by side?" He removes his head off your shoulder then slowly turns you around.
You bit the skin inside your mouth trying not to cry, "Don't.. don't look at me like that!" Your hand covers your face, slowly wiping the tears away that fell one by one. Xiao stares at you, removing your hand off your face as you looked down at the ground in shame.
"Like what, exactly?" He says with an unusually soft tone, his gloved hands slowly wiping your tears away.
Xiao admires you before he remembers the memories and after but you didn't know that probably because he never said it but all this time he did, he'd caught himself staring at you from time to time and needing your presence every time.
He's the happiest whenever you so why? Why are you leaving? his other arm pulling you closer by the waist as you weakly try pushing him off.
"Why do you keep looking at me so.. lovingly aren't you suppose to hate me? Push me away?" You retaliate
"How could I ever hate you, yn?"
"I'm the daughter of the monster who put you through hell, alatus."
"And his daughter is my wife."
He said sternly, brushing your hair off your face. "I don't care if you are his biological daughter, you have never consider yourself as his daughter nor did you act like it so why would I ever make you feel like one?" His words leave you frozen, no words were able to form in your mouth.
"But that doesn't justify the fact that I killed xiao!" You try to reason, sure it was stupid but you had to make a point.
"I've also killed yn,"
"But you never wanted to kill them, to begin with unlike I who never felt any remorse while doing it"
"If you felt nothing then why are you crying? That was his doing, he trained to be that way, you had no control. I don't care what you have done yn, we didn't live a normal and peaceful like some who grew up in the comfort of this world." Xiao didn't know where these words are coming from, he knew he wasn't good when it comes to this kind of talk his tongue would always tie in a knot unable to think what to say but right now it was the opposite.
"Because of me you almost died... I can never forgive myself for that" your head rested in his chest, "I willingly agreed to help you had done nothing wrong, so I beg of you not to leave.." he whisper.
Every time he was with you, he has done things he would don't expect doing. Begging wasn't in xiao's vocabulary but if this was a way to make you stay he would do it over and over again even if he has to kneel, cry and plead he'll gladly do so.
"You.. you are undeniable" you hugged him back then looking at him, your nose and cheeks covered in pink hue because of all the crying.
"Mhm likewise" his arms carried you in a bridal style as you gasped in Suprise "where are you taking me?" You wrap your hand around his neck, looking at him confused.
"Home, I want to know everything.. after you ran the other way back then if you are ready of course," he says as black smoke surrounded the both of you, disappearing in a puff with the same dark smoke with little shines of blue-green only to reappear inside your room in wangshu inn.
xiao teleported back with you in his arms he was greeted by paimon giving him an earful lecture, there you learned as soon as xiao woke up he asked about you and when he learned you we were going to leave he immediately ran after you but in the end, they were both glad that he was safe and you are back.
They even gave each other the look when they saw you in his arms, you Guess lumine got the hint that you two wanted to be alone when she drags paimon away from the inn bidding the both of you goodbye while you two thank her.
"Soo..." You awkwardly said, scathing the back of your neck as you sit down on the bed "it's alright If your not comfortable telli-" "No! No! We are both in this it would be unfair of me not to tell you what happened.." a drop of sweat slides on your skin unable to know where to start.
"I guess you know everything apart from my sudden departure, right?" You ask making some things clear, xiao hummed in agreement leaning against the wall, his arms crossed.
"My sudden goodbye wasn't really part of my plan, I promised you didn't I? That I would free you from his torment, that day I fought him.. He found out that I had been selling out his plan to rex lapis and controlled everything behind the scenes. His plan to taint azhdaha, take over his land and more was a fail because I had tampered with the plan and gave information out, tho they were instances that I had to predict some of his plans due to me not being involved and him refusing to tell me anything— luckily everything was right and had gone smoothly"
Xiao looks at you in awe but if you managed to get his every move right why did he attack you?
"That day he found it was supposed only a fight between him and rex lapis, I don't what or who told him about everything I did but he learned about my schemes. He had tried to kill me that day possibly because of the anger and humiliation he felt, I mean who wouldn't? Every plan of his failed because of me. I knew I wouldn't win over him so I escaped, that's when I ran to you and told you to go— he knew the reason why I planned his downfall and he was determined to eliminate the both of us; before he could run after us rex lapis arrived on time and I think you know the rest, right? That is the part where he saved you as for me.. after I ran the other direction I entered the domain I built just in case something in the plan went wrong, there I slept because he had cursed me, a curse that would turn me just like him and possibly more evil so I slept, I froze myself for extra measures I had to make sure I wouldn't wake up until his curse was no longer working. It was a 50 50 percent chance that I would die but it had to be done"
You explain even further, fumbling with your fingers. You wreck your memory making sure nothing is left unsaid. Xiao frows "a 50 50 percent chance? You mean to tell me you could've died?!" He asks walking towards you roughly cupping your cheeks his body hovering above your body. "I mean.. no pain no gain??" You crack a smile, and xiao looks at you pissed pinching both your cheeks and stretching it to its extent while you complain from the pain.
"You— you are UNBELIEVABLE! We are having a serious conversation then you try to crack these silly jokes of yours?!" He scolds you, you try to pry his hands off your reddened cheeks.
Xiao huffs in disbelief, removing his hands and then going back to the wall he leaned onto. "I still have some questions"
"Ask away," you said rubbing your cheeks with your hand trying to lessen the pain.
"Why did we both forget? One of us could've easily remembered each other, you being frozen for a thousand of years surely wouldn't tamper with your memories"
You couldn't admit it but he had a point and you had no idea why or how both of you could have forgotten everything about each other. "To be honest I also don't know but my biggest guess is that it's also my his doing.. he can be quite petty sometimes I'm sure even in his last breath he'd do something to cause problems"
You thought it was the only possible explanation you could think of as you explain the butterflies started to slowly fly inside the room, some flying towards the ornaments observing the details curiously, and some rested on the bed beside you as if trying to sleep and some rested in your head forming in what seems to be flower crown but its flowers are replaced by butterfly wings. Watching the butterflies is like watching children play inside the room some occasionally would bump themselves on things.
"Speaking of these butterflies, how come they are still with you? I thought they would be free once he's dead" he asks holding one of the butterflies that landed in his palms watching it. You hummed "they are but they chose to stay since they haven't figured out what to do! They also willingly showed you the past I guess that was their thank you for freeing them"
Xiao hums "I see, last question this has been bothering me for a while, why couldn't I see your face in my dreams?" You look at xiao confused "what? That's impossible dream butterflies are very vivid unless..." You thought to yourself until it clicked.
The butterflies suddenly ran out of the room through the window like speed when you realized what they have done "YOU LITTLE SHITS COME BACK HERE" you ran after them while xiao continues to watch the scene in amusement even tho he doesn't know why.
"I forgot that those brats can be quite the troublesome" you huff massaging your temple "they've done it on purpose there is no way that details are missed when they make someone dream unless they're playing a prank" you explain, placing your hand in your hips.
Xiao lets out a rare laugh, he hugs you by the waist placing his forehead against yours "I don't mind as long as I'm finally with you" he whisper, both of you consumed by the peaceful atmosphere relaxed with the presence of each other. This wasn't the ending you had imagined but it was somehow you had longed for before you could remember everything.
Xiao may never admit it but he loves you before he remembers everything about the past, when you left to go back to mondstadt he never felt more lonely. He was lost in the darkness but he found you, again and He once again he loves you this time he doesn't intend to let you go again like he did. A broken promise he might make but kept one to be safe
He'll never fall unless it's you I fall into.
E X T R A :
You stood beside xiao as you both watch the sun slowly decent, admiring the red and orange color that reflects the trees and grass.
"I'm wondering.. if I bothered that old man to give me the dream butterflies sooner you would've seen everything before the accident," you said thinking to yourself, xiao hummed in agreement "heh I wish you have seen how every to time me meet in secret you'd always be latched on my body" you tease poking his cheeks that slowly turned red
"You— YOU HAVE NO RESPECT FOR THE ADEPTUS" his pale face slowly turned into bright red then disappears in a puff of smoke while you laugh in endearment.
Wc 3839
—what if I told you this story was supposed to be for a new book I had in mind for quite a while but got too lazy to actually make it
— the 3 parts represents the 3 arc and it was also supposed to be a slow burn🤭