Morgan Sinclair
Dane hot wired one of the hunters' vans parked around back and we all hurried into it. With Dane at the wheel, Grayson brought me to the passenger seat, then hopped in the back with Chloe. The both of them watching a captured Mercer.
I spend the majority of the time in the van zoned out, staring into the side mirror glaring at Mercer. I didn't mean to fixate on him but unfortunately I could see him clearly through the mirror. His malicious stare and callous grin infuriates me more and more with every passing minute. I feel it in every inch of my body. An overwhelming anger.
I'm not a violent person. I've never been in a fight. I've never even really raised my voice at someone aside from assholes in clubs or bars. I'm not violent yet right now my mind fills with a long list of absolutely barbaric things I want to do to him. If I wasn't exhausted to the point that I really can't move I don't think I'd be able to stop myself from doing half of them. I don't think I'd even want to. Maybe Mercer was kind of right about me.
"How are you feeling?" I hear Grayson after a long stint of silence. Mercer was rambling on about something before but Chloe punched him in the face knocking him out again which did bring a small smile to my face. She had to do that a couple more times since he kept waking up oddly quick. Each time he got hit was a tiny boost of dopamine in my system.
"Great." I say.
"I'm trying to see if you have sage poisoning." He raises his voice sounding like he's straining himself. "They shot you with a good amount of it remember?" He says in a lower volume, correcting his tone.
"That's what this is?"
"Yes it's toxic to vampires, so what exactly are you feeling physically?" He asks.
"Tired."
"Only tired?" He questions.
"Only tired." I mumble.
I fell asleep for a while and woke up in a cold sweat while we pulled up to a house that- maybe I'm too tired but it doesn't look like Chloe's house. I tried to open the car door but I felt like my limbs weighed a thousand pounds so when the door opened up I flopped out of it.
I accepted that I was about to fall to the ground but I was quickly caught by someone. I see the boots in front of me, looking up slowly to the view of Grayson. "Got you." He says lowly.
I'm standing but only because Graysons propping me up. My actual legs are about as stable as mental state. Suddenly Grayson leans down, his arm slides under my legs lifting me up.
All my senses keep surging between non existent and excessive. While I hear nothing at the moment and my vision is blurry, my other senses are working overtime. I grab onto his shoulder and curl into his worryingly hot chest, ambushed by his vanilla and mahogany scent, which would be pleasant except it's attacking me right now. It feels like I've just spent the last two hours sniffing everything in a candle store and gave myself a splitting headache.
I start to hear muffled voices around me but I can't fully make them out. He walks me into a dark room, laying me down on a bed but I wince feeling the sharp burn of the sage in my back as I lay. His soft hand gently brushes the hair off of my face, tucking it behind my ear. "Chloe is there any blood here?" I hear muffled from Grayson.
"I'll go check." Chloe's silhouette leaves the room.
"Why does it burn?" I murmur.
"Sage is a bitch." There's a blur of a delicate smile on his face.
"Got it." Chloe rushes over to me, ripping off the top of a blood bag bringing it to my lips. The refrigerated cold blood pours into my mouth, cooling down the burning to some degree.
"Do you think it's sage poisoning?" Grayson asks. "I can't tell."
"Seems close to it but no. She just can't heal quickly. She needs to sleep then she should be relatively okay tomorrow." Chloe says, taking the already empty blood bag away from me. "You're sweating, you should-."
The sound of bones cracking inside Graysons body interrupts her. He takes a deep breath, gritting his teeth trying to shove down his obvious pain.
"Oh my God, Grayson!" Chloe shouts.
"It's okay I can hold it off." He says through his teeth. "You're sure she's okay?"
"She'll be fine. I don't know where you can turn here."
"I can go turn in the room with Mercer." There's a brief silence, I can imagine Chloe shot him a look. "I know." More cracking bones and Grayson groaning in pain pierces my ear drums. I wince bringing my hands up to cover my ears. I'm struggling to keep myself awake but the volume just startled me. "I'll go find a place." Grayson says before leaving the room.
"Is he." I start with labored breaths. "Is he okay?" I impulsively go to sit up and go after him to see what's wrong.
Chloe places her hands on my shoulders gently pushing me to lay back down. "Yeah he'll be fine don't worry. Just rest, try to sleep. I promise you'll be a lot better tomorrow." Is the last thing I hear before I shut my eyes.
I do wake up the next day feeling better, way more sore and tired than usual but better. I don't recognize the room I'm in. The lamp next to me, closest to the door is responsible for lighting the whole room and it feels as cold as it looks. Personality-less and uninviting concrete walls surround me. The one ahead of me only has a small window dead center which happens to be the most decoration in the room.
Physically I'm okay- the wound on my face is already scabbing and I only feel some minor soreness in my back.
I keep replaying last nights events over in my head, with an emphasis on how I almost hurt my family. I didn't, but the thought that I had wanted to terrifies me.
Chloe walks in a couple minutes after I wake up to give me the blood bag half for my breakfast, cutting off my self loathing. She sits down on the edge of the bed as I finish it quickly. "Hey, how are you feeling?"
"I'm fine." The lie exits my mouth so fast. She reaches for the empty blood bag I was fiddling with.
"You can talk to me. You know that right?"
"I know." I nod. "I just kind of wanna be alone right now." I would like to go back to bullying myself for everything that occurred last night.
"Okay, I'll be around when you need." She reassures me, with an optimistic smile.
"Thank you." I say. "Wait, where are we?"
"North Carolina. One of Kellans contacts has this compound he's not using at the moment."
I take another glance around at this cold room. "Oh okay."
"I'll see you later." She backs up, exiting the room.
When she's gone, I resort back to thinking about last night. Going over and over everything.
You really were about to attack them. It physically pained me not to.
Disgusting.
Literally what the fuck is wrong with-
After only about a minute or two since Chloe left, two knocks on my door cuts off my train of thought. "Come in." I say, wiping the one tear that managed to escape as I sit back up on the bed.
The door opens and Kellan walks through. "How are you doing?" He says coming over to me.
"I'm okay."
"Hey, why don't you come outside." He stands over me, resting his hand on my shoulder. Caressing it with the pad of his thumb.
Shaking my head. "I'm not really feeling the whole socializing thing right now." I feign a chuckle.
"Nah, come on. It'll help." He says taking hold of my hands lightly tugging me to stand up.
I slide my hands back from his. "I'm not really in the mood, I want to be alone." I really want him to leave. I know more than likely Chloe told him I want to be alone and he still walked in anyway.
"If you keep sitting in here- alone. Your mood is gonna stay this way." He says.
In inhale sharply through my nose. "I'm not in a bad mood because my coffee had too much milk in it." I say as calmly as possible fighting my ever growing annoyance. "My whole family was just used to try and kill me, they still think I'm missing, and I almost hurt them. So my moods probably gonna stay this way for a bit."
Kellans brow furrows. "You almost hurt them?" He questions.
"I wanted to." I admit under my breath.
"You wanted to hurt your family?" His judgmental tone is hard to miss. I deserve it but still, agitation rises within me. I shouldn't have said anything.
"I didn't want to, want to. I... their pulses and Lindsey was bleeding-."
"You can't focus on that." He crosses his arms, cutting me off. I feel my face redden and heat up in embarrassment. I really shouldn't have said anything.
"It's not like I purposely zoned in on it. It just happened."
"That's not something you can just let happen. That's how people end up dead."
I didn't think I could feel worse but I'm being proven wrong. The thought that I could've actually killed anyone in my family, makes my heart sink further down. "I know. Believe me I know. I'm sorry."
"It's okay." He sits back down on the edge of the bed.
I exhale. "Kellan, I still wanna be alone."
He shakes his head 'no'. "I don't think you should be alone right now."
"It's not always about what you think." I hiss, my frustration pushing past the surface. "Please leave."
"Morgan."
"Please. Go."
He reluctantly stands up from the bed, staring at me with disappointment in his eyes. Until he finally turns around and walks out of the room.
I fall back down onto the bed, staring up at the ceiling. I rub my face and take a deep breath. Turning over on my side I curl up into a ball in an attempt to go to sleep. Worn out from all this thinking and my contradicting emotions.
I wake up hours later at about 4 am. Within a mere couple of seconds of being conscious to the world I start crying.
Fantastic.
Mercers words along with my thoughts, wants, needs, and almost actions echoing in my mind. I wanted to hurt my family. I stopped myself. But I can't deny that I wanted it. I can't deny the thoughts in my mind when I hugged them. Their pulse, their blood- God stop.
Mercer said I would be thinking about it. Maybe he just put the thoughts in mind by saying that? No, I thought it prior. Maybe he made me think about it more? I hate him.
My crying stops as I'm consumed by this cold rage that washes over me all too quickly.
I've done nothing except exist and he wants to kill me? End my life because of hypotheticals. I'm not a monster and I never will be.
You wanted to hurt your family.
Stop.
My minds doing mental gymnastics, going from one thought and one emotion to the next. It's fucking exhausting.
Mercer's here.
He's somewhere here.
I find myself at the door to my room, stepping out of it. I walk into an office space area, unsure where I'm going or what the layout of this place is. I start listening in to everything around. "Ow." I whisper, getting bombarded by every single sound in like a five mile radius apparently. I focus it in, listening for voices, extra heartbeats, anything out of the ordinary.
I hear what sounds like 3 resting heartbeats assuming that's Kellan, Chloe, and Dane asleep. I hear the faint swoosh of water. I guess there's a pool or something here. That must be Grayson. I hear another persons footsteps upstairs- I'm assuming Victoria. There were only a few so I don't think she's traveling anywhere, maybe just walking to get something inside of her room.
Then I hear the light rattle of metal. That has to be him. I start following that sound. Quietly making my way through different parts of this unnecessarily huge compound that does not make sense. I eventually get to a door going outside, exiting to following the rattle. I approach another building located fairly far from what I think is the main house.
I arrive at a large metal door. Opening and closing it slowly and softly so it doesn't make that much of a sound. I walk down this corridor lined with cells, 4 on each side. Whatever goes on in this compound I don't want to know. I reach another large metal door that the rattle seems to be coming from. I push open the door stepping through when I see him. Mercer. He jumps a bit, stopping the fiddling with his chains.
"This is a surprise. Didn't think I'd be seeing you." He smiles wide. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"
My mind goes silent, my emotions return to a gray nothingness. I thought I'd see him and instantly be overwrought with anger but here I am speechless.
"Why?" I say the first thing on my mind.
"You're gonna have to narrow it down sweetie. Why what?" He says patronizingly.
"Taking my family. Wanting me dead. What did I ever do to you?" I ask, my despondency being the first emotion to come back.
"It's not what you've done. It's what you're going to do. What you are disgusts me."
"So you take my family? Involve innocent people because you don't like what I am?"
"Technically they're not really your family but they were a means to an end. Clearly it failed but you win some, you lose some." He shrugs. "Next time I'll be sure to cut it short and kill you as soon as you walk through the door."
I have to ignore his whole comment but I feel my blood begin to heat up. "All those things you said-."
"Aww does the truth sting a bit?" He cuts me off.
"I would never hurt my family." I retort.
"But I'm sure the thought crossed your mind."
I pause for a fraction of a second before shaking my head. "No." I say.
"The hesitation speaks volumes."
"Fuck you."
"It's nothing personal. I just know your kind. Blood above all else, and that's with the royal fuckers and run of the mill turned vampires. You?" He laughs. "I've only heard stories of those full bloods overseas and damn."
"No. You're wrong-."
"Tell me, what would I get out of lying to you?"
"You're just trying to get under my skin." I retort.
"But I can get under your skin so much more efficiently with the truth." He smiles venomously. "When you first walked in there your first thought was blood. Not your family. Not the imminent danger they were in. No, it was the blood flowing through everyone's veins in that room, right?"
I look down at the floor, shaking my head frantically. "No." It was.
"You say no but you avoiding eye contact with me tells me yes." He snarks. I look up at him at his twisted smile. Now my blood starts to boil. "You must still be in denial, good for us humans. It's when that acceptance kicks in that we all have to worry."
"I would never hurt anyone."
"Do you want to hurt me?" I stand corrected. I refuse to acknowledge that he's right; yes I do want to hurt him. "It's understandable if you do, but the real question is how do you want to hurt me? Because a human would want to punch me, maybe even shoot me or stab me. But a vampire? You want to drain my entire body of blood don't you?" Again, he's right but I refuse to admit that. "This is a safe space Morgan. You don't have to lie. It's probably all you're thinking about right now."
Now that he brought it up yeah it is, but I won't- I can't kill someone. Not even him. "I'm not what you think I am."
He chuckles. "Give it time. When you're on your own. Not held back and being babysat. You'll be the monster you were born to be."
"Stop saying that." That fucking word.
"What? Monster? That's what you are. A vicious, disgusting, cold blooded, monster."
"Stop." My bloods bubbling over at this point.
"You'll come to see humans as nothing more than food. Your family will be nothing but walking blood bags to you-."
With that, the fiery anger quickly gets replaced by an icy rage that rushes through my veins and I find my hand wrapped around his throat with my fangs bared. I don't know what came over me but I have every intention of killing him. Tearing into his throat and draining him. I wanted him to stop talking.
Before I could sink my fangs into the skin of his neck, I feel arms around me yanking me off of him. I try to fight whoever this is off but I fail to do so. As I'm getting pulled out of the room, a crooked grin appears on Mercers face. "Way to prove me right."
The look on his face as he says that, somehow makes me more enraged. I manage to get through this persons arms and sprint back to Mercer. I get as close as an arms length to him but yet again I'm grabbed before I could do anything. I'm being pulled out once more. "Bravo Morgan. Bravo." He laughs as the door shuts cutting off any sight of him.
I'm finally let go I turn to see who did that. Kellan.
"What do you think you're doing?!"
I pant looking at him, furious at his interference. "He was being a dick."
"So that warrants you killing him?!" He yells.
I look down and see his hand still wrapped around my arm so I rip it out of his grip. "I wasn't-." I take a deep breath trying to relax. "The things he was saying Kellan I-."
Lowering his hands down to his sides. "Again." He starts short and angered. "That warrants you killing him?"
I remain silent. Because as of this moment, maybe his words alone doesn't warrant death but given everything else I've been told and witnessed- yeah it does. It's not like anyone else here would be sad or annoyed.
Oh my God what is wrong with me?
I must've made a face at the whiplash my mind just gave me because Kellan made a face back. "What?" He questions indignantly.
"Nothing."
"You need to keep your emotions in check. They're out of control right now and it's only going to get worse. You can be set off," He snaps in my face. "Like that. Then you've just killed someone. Now what?"
"It's not like anyone would've missed him."
"I cannot believe you just said that." He says angry and disappointed.
His disapproving look, sets me off. "After everything he just said and did to me and everything he's tried to do to all of you-."
"He's never attacked me."
"Oh that makes it all okay. Sorry." I say, my tone drenched in sarcasm.
"Morgan. Again, keep it in check." He scolds. "He just called you a monster so you wanna go ahead and prove him right?"
So he heard. I angle my head at him, "you heard all of that and did nothing?"
"I was hoping you'd turn and walk out. He was only saying all of that to anger you."
"Well mission accomplished." I snap as I turn and walk down the long corridor.
"Morgan! I'm talking to you." He yells from behind me.
"Not anymore!" I yell back, storming out of the building.