Before the year Heidi turned nine years old, I was certain everyone had an adviser. I had already met many on my way. The partners of all my previous humans had very nice ones, especially Julio's. His wife's name was Alma, but I called her soul adviser Blanca. Why? I don't remember. I think I simply thought it suited her. I sensed her presence far more than others. When everything went quiet and our humans would fall asleep, I felt less lonely in her company although I obviously couldn't see Blanca.
I missed that kind of contact and feeling a lot, even if I sometimes sensed the advisers of Heidi's family members, it just wasn't the same. And out on the streets it truly wasn't, I used to be able to sense some, but as Heidi grew older it felt like many of my kind had gone quiet, or left, retreated into the darkness. I felt lonelier than ever as the months went on.
1935 didn't start as a promising year for my human either. Trudy and Alfred had started arguing, or rather fighting over things that were both out of their control and out of Heidi's understanding. Wilma would take all her siblings out of the house as soon as she started hearing any kind of banter between her parents hoping to spare their innocence. Heidi constantly wondered what had happened, what was happening. It felt to her like a switch had been turned on which was far from the truth of course, but from her perspective it seemed like people were talking about this führer and politics wherever she went and that they never had before. It seemed like this red flag with a strange cross popped up everywhere she turned. She couldn't escape it. On the Fischer family's radio old men with deep voices would talk about it too. She understood half of what they said, but got an odd feeling while listening since Helga would always turn the volume down with a sigh.
When autumn rolled around a sign with strange shapes that formed some sort of face had emerged upon Frau Huber's desk. Ingrid Blum had also been moved to the back of the class next to Heidi. The teacher they were supposed to have that year had disappeared, so Frau Huber—to her absolute horror—had to teach four different age groups instead of two. Let's say she didn't particularly enjoy it.
Sometimes Heidi would try to talk to Ingrid through whispers during class. If she ever got an answer, the dark haired girl would get in trouble for it later. So right before christmas, Heidi stopped her whispering, for their own good.
"Could I give a piece of your apfelstrudel to Ingrid later today?" Frieda asked Trudy one morning, when Frau Seide managed to get all her daughters to bake with her apart from Wilma.
"Her birthday was a few days ago"
Trudy thought about it for a long while, people would talk if they saw them, but she also knew things had gotten much harder for the Blum family lately. It took her a while, Frieda waited patiently, Heidi sat at the kitchen table, trying to wipe the flour off her dress. She looked up every time her mother almost answered. Eventually Trudy began cutting half the strudel.
"Ingrid's always been lovely." She started. "I'm not sure half a Strudel will help that much, but I'm sure her and her family will like it."
Frieda nodded eagerly, getting her shoes on already. Trudy looked over at Heidi and nodded toward the door. "If you want to, you can go with her, you made the strudel as well, didn't you?"
Heidi slowly nodded, she wasn't too thrilled about the idea of walking alone with Frieda, but she did want to give it to Ingrid. The girl had been awfully closed off at school lately, and all the things Frau Huber had started saying to her were so bad Heidi had wanted to punch the old ogre's teeth back into her throat. She ultimately nodded and followed Frieda out the door, holding quiet little Gisela's hand, who had also decided to come along.
The air froze the girl's noses, causing them to turn red within seconds, Heidi and Frieda looked identical. They didn't exchange a single word with each other, but they both held onto Gisela's hand tightly, they were both fond of her. That was one of the very few things they had in common. The little blond girl hung between them, as if she were on a swing and her joyful expression warmed Heidi's heart. She was still so young, barely five yet. Sometimes Heidi wished to go back to that age, but at the same time she couldn't think of anything worse. She didn't know Alexander back then, and she was too shy to even look anyone in the eye. Through Gisela and Manfred she realised she had grown and improved on certain things. I found it interesting and it also made me feel incredibly proud of my human. I had been guiding her for almost a decade, and oh how much I had enjoyed it (for the most part).
I truly loved Heidi and it might have been against the rules but
I never had any intention to follow them anyway.
Once they reached the street Ingrid lived on, Heidi looked around and noticed it was so much prettier than apfelstraße—like most streets—but there was something about it that she couldn't quite put her finger on, that she didn't like about it. It was more of a feeling than an observation, but she couldn't get past it, no matter how hard she tried. Regardless of how many wonderful colours and strange sculptured shapes clung to the buildings, she couldn't bring herself to like it, solely because of this strange sensation building up in the pit of her stomach. It wasn't fear, it was discomfort, like people were watching her, like judgement followed her.
Frieda knocked on the Blum family's brown front door since she was well aware of the fact no one else would do it. It took a while for the door to open, during those minutes, Frieda turned to her sisters with a raised eyebrow, they could only shrug in response. Heidi turned around for a second, feeling these strange omnipresent eyes on her once more, Gisela turned around curious about what Heidi might have been looking at and Frieda found herself doing so as well.
"Hallo..?" A dark haired woman then greeted halfway out the door, her face hinting immense confusion.
Frieda hurriedly turned around and conjured a polite smile.
"Guten tag." She said, but before she could say anything else the woman who Heidi supposed was Frau Blum raised an eyebrow and looked around the street hurriedly, seeming to ignore Frieda.
"Sorry," She then said, after noticing no one was around, my human wondered if she also felt this invisible gaze. "Guten tag, young ladies" She got a better look at them and her face broke into a smile, they were all holding hands, bundled up in thick homemade coats, gloves, scarves and mittens, and she had seen one of them before. "Frieda, how nice to see you again" something in her tone made me think she was weighing her words carefully before saying them.
"It's nice to see you too, Frau Blum." she started holding out her little basket with the Strudel. "I baked today...with my sisters and we wanted to give this to Ingrid as a late birthday present. I haven't been able to see her much lately but I could never forget her birthday."
Frau Blum took the basket from her gently.
"I'm sorry, it's not much, we can't afford to give it all-"
"Don't you worry about that, Frieda. Thank you very much, I'm sure Ingrid will like it,I'll tell her you came by with...Heidi and Gisela right?." She interjected, keeping her warm smile. Heidi and Gisela nodded.
"Can't we see her?" Frieda asked, her eyes filled with hope. I had noticed how much she longed to talk to her at school lately, but her teacher wouldn't let her or anyone else do so.
Frau Blum shook her head. "You better get going girls, it's getting dark, but again, thank you very much." She told them hurriedly, before slamming the door shut.
Frieda stood there for a moment, silent. She turned to her sisters and without taking Gisela's hand just walked away before them. Heidi exchanged a look with Gisela, they both agreed to just follow without questions.
When they came back to their house, everyone was home and Manfred took great pleasure in tugging on Heidi's dress. He was now walking and running around, behaving more like a toddler than a baby. It made Wilma—who sat on the couch—laugh a lot. My human's expression was priceless as little manfred didn't stop when she ordered him to.
"Come here, Heidi." Wilma chuckled, shuffling to the side of the sofa and patting the spot beside her. Heidi rolled her eyes and sat down, Manfred following her with his wobbly little legs as quickly as he could.
"What are you knitting?" the girl asked, watching Wilma work on something with a lovely lilac colour.
"A pair of mittens for mama, she always forgets to make some for herself." Wilma whispered to her. "Don't tell her though, it's a surprise."
Heidi grinned and quietly watched the two wooden sticks move and shape small patterns while resting her head on her older sister's shoulder.
She almost fell asleep to tell the truth, but then she was woken up by Frieda.
"I just don't understand why!" She exclaimed. Trudy sighed and got down on her knees next to her.
"It has nothing to do with you, dear." Trudy started. "I'm sure Ingrid would have loved to see you."
Frieda looked away quickly, it seemed like a stupid thing to say, her question had not been about that.
"But why can't I?" Frieda tried again. "Not even her mother wants me to!"
Trudy gave her a sad watery smile, and gently wiped her daughter's few tears.
"Frau Blum made you leave for your own good." She told her.
"But what about Ingrid!?"
The room went quiet then, neither Alfred or Trudy had the words nor the knowledge to explain it all to their nine year old, so Frieda's questions remained unanswered, but they wouldn't remain that way for long.