Chaeyoung
I woke up late the next morning but was surprised that all of us did, and actually, Genie wasn't yet awake after the three of us did. I found the maknaes who just also wake up in the kitchen, preparing breakfast together.
"Good morning girls, did you sleep well?" I asked as I went to take a mug and pour myself coffee.
"Yes unnie, did Genie sleep early last night?" Blythe asked.
I wasn't able to answer her quick because I remembered that kiss last night. When I noticed her looking at me expectantly though, I cleared my throat.
"Yeah, it's my first time handling her that drunk though" I replied.
"We too, she never yelled nor shouted at us like that, we're kind of shocked last night really" Jeed agreed.
"Have you noticed anything wrong with her though?" Blythe asked.
"Yeah, it's been nearly two weeks that she's been a little weird" Jeed answered.
"Unnie, you are much closer, please tell us what's wrong with her" Blythe turned to me, pleading.
"I'm sorry girls, but this time, we are all in the same level of knowledge on what's bothering her" I replied.
"It started when she came back from her home country. I'm wondering what could have happened there" Jeed mused.
"That's right, she didn't even inquire about your trip" Blythe faced Jeed who widened her eyes with the statement before looking at Blythe weirdly, as if telling her to shut up.
"She is actually starting to return to her usual self while she's with us" I spoke, although I'm wondering if Blythe has other meaning with what she just told Jeed.
"I noticed that too, but a lot of times, I've caught her zoning out" Blythe agreed.
"Yes, I feel like she is just pretending to be okay in front of us" Jeed sighed.
So, they also noticed as much as I did, though I actually caught her crying last week. I became lost in my thoughts that Blythe has to wave her hand in front of me to get her attention.
"I'd like to go myself unnie, but I know she prefers you waking her up" she reiterated. I nodded understanding the request then left to Genie's room.
She is still sleeping when I entered. A good thing her room isn't locked again. Well, it's because she's already asleep when I left her room. I sat on her bed and I gently shook her arm.
"Genie, it's late, wake up now so we can go and have breakfast"
"Hmmm" she merely responded.
"Baby wake up" I shook harder.
She tried to open her eyes but quickly squinted it as he clutched her head frowning. She groaned in pain.
"Genie? Are you okay?" I panicked and hovered above her, checking her temperature.
"Baby what's wrong? Which hurts?" I asked again.
"Unnie? Stooop" she whined as she tried to sit up. I helped her to.
"Baby..." I looked at her nervously.
"I'm serious with that one month of not talking with you unnie, so stop this over reaction" she sighed frustrated as she massaged her temple.
I looked at her in panic for another reason. I can't imagine not talking with her for a month anymore. I sighed in frustration.
"I didn't know caring for my bestfriend is a crime now" I uttered as I sat back then looked at my hands in my lap.
"You'll understand me then" she whispered, probably not wanting me to hear it, but I did so I looked at her questioningly.
"Oh my gosh, what happened last night? Why am I feeling like shit right now?" she wailed as she pulled on her hair, also her way to escape from interrogation I think.
I looked at her wondering. I wouldn't believe she did forget it. Also, she doesn't suffer from hangovers, but seeing her situation now, it looks like she is. Is she being serious then?
"You can't remember it?" I asked.
"No, oh wait, I do remember secretly chugging from the champagne bottle, and then, the movie ended and the lights opened.... I can't remember anymore" she sank into the headboard.
I looked at her surprised. I can't detect any hint of pretense in her. How is this possible? I think I'm looking at her shockingly so she assumed she did worst.
"What did I do? Unnie tell me, did I make a fool of myself? Oh my gosh, I did right?" she asked reaching for my hand.
"No, not exactly, except that, you... you actually... uh, the girls, uh, you... scared them" I stammered. I didn't know how to put it gently. Also, I don't think I would mention to her about the kiss anymore.
"What did I do to them?" she asked gripping my hand earnestly. I wasn't able to answer immediately however, and the next thing I know, she has sprung up from her bed and is making her way out of her room. Her action however made her dizzy and she almost stumble as she grip her head tightly, groaning in pain.
"Jeed! Blythe! Where are you?" she yelled as she exited her room, I closely following her.
"Genie?" Blythe answered, her voice saying she's nervous, as she walked to the living room, meeting us, followed by Jeed.
"Blythe, what did I do to you last night?" she asked, reaching for the maknae's hand. The girl was confused and she looked at me so I just shrugged.
"You don't remember Genie?" Jeed asked and my bestfriend shook her head.
"I didn't hurt you girls did I?" she asked nervously.
Blythe shook her head. "No Genie, you didn't, you just, uh, yelled at us, and at unnie" she gestured to me.
Genie's eyes widened as she looked back at me apologetically. She turned back to the girls as she groaned, clutching her head again, obviously in pain.
"I had it worst last night, I'm sorry girls, I'm really sorry" she apologized as she dropped herself on the floor.
I kneeled beside her on the floor and I pulled her into my arms. The maknaes followed my example, kneeling in front of her and reached for each hand, gently massaging it.
"It's okay Genie, I just wish you could tell us what's wrong" Blythe gently coaxed.
She however shook her head as she sat straight. She looked at each of us in the eye as she sighed deeply.
"You woke me up for breakfast unnie?" she instead turned to me and I nodded.
"Alright, I'm hungry though I think I can't eat well this morning, I feel so sick though I'm not" she groaned again.
"That's what a hangover feels Genie, don't worry, we'll take care of you today. We're all free for the day anyway" I smiled at her as I helped her stand up.
Genie
As expected, I only ate a little and I can't take any more food, or else, it threatens to come back. I just keep on drinking water instead, while listening to the girls casually talking about random things.
"Are you sure I didn't hit any of you?" I asked.
"We are Genie, we're just really scared when you yelled, you know, you never did and you look scary when you're mad" Jeed replied smiling at me.
"What have I even been telling you last night? My gosh, why can't I remember anything?" I groaned, massaging my temples again.
"We cannot really understand what you're saying then Genie, are you currently facing a problem, we are more than ready to help you know that" Blythe looked at me, almost pleading to tell them what's wrong.
"Nah, I'm fine Blythe, whatever you heard last night, it's the champagne talking, don't think much about it" I dismissed the worry in their faces with a wave.
"But drunk people actually tells the truth better than sober adults" Chae-unnie chimed and I looked at her panicking.
"I think I'm an exception to that unnie, especially if I have been rambling about things you don't understand as you said?" I confirmed.
"Okay then, but here, drink this medicine to help you feel better from your hangover" she handed me a tablet.
I looked at her amused, although inside, I'm panicking as hell. "I don't like, no, I hate taking in medicines unnie, remember?" I asked as I returned to her the tablet.
"But this will help you feel better, would you rather feel like shit for a longer time?" she asked so I nodded.
"Yeah, rather than dealing with that pill" I pointed at the medicine now back on her palm.
"You're weird" she shook her head as I chuckled. I know I am.
I excused myself to go and take a bath as I feel like I stink to which they teased me I really do. I just rolled my eyes as I went to my room and almost dived under the shower.
Looking for my phone, I dialled a number. As I'm waiting for them to pick up, I inhaled deeply. The familiar unwelcome feeling is bothering me again, and it reminded me of a place where I have to be within this week.
"Hello? What's up? You okay?" the other line answered.
"Unnie, I need a guardian again" I went to the point.
"Got it, meet you below in 30 minutes" she replied and hang up.
After preparing to go out, I stood by my door trying to listen if there are people outside. It's silent so I assumed they are all in their rooms, or atleast in the living room. It's a good thing that my room is near the main door, they won't see me if ever they're in the kitchen or even in the sala.
I silently left my room and is tiptoeing to the main door when unnie's door suddenly opened when I'm beside it. Her room is the closest to the main door so I have to pass by it. I jumped up in surprise but successfully muffled a scream while I clutched my chest, as my heart is pounding hard after the surprise.
"Genie? Where are you going? Are you planning to escape?" her brows are furrowed and looked me from head to toe.
"Um, I, uh, I have to meet someone for a while unnie, I'll be back as soon as I can" I partly lied.
"Are you leaving with manager Dong-il?" she asked.
"No" I replied and she stood straight up towering me.
"Then you're not going alone, wait for me" she turned to her room but I stop her.
"No, please unnie, don't worry, I'll be fine, I just, I really have to go alone" I tried hard to stop her. There's no way she will come with me to my appointment.
"Where exactly are you going then?" she asked.
I took a deep breath. Lying really needs a class so I'll be an expert. "At a restaurant to meet someone. Unnie please let me go alone" I pleaded.
I can see she is reluctant but finally she agreed. "Fine, but baby, keep your line available, call me if you got in a compromising situation, and come back home as soon as you're done. Also, be mindful of cameras" she rambled that I chuckled.
"Yes Mom, I will" I teased.
"Wait, are you going on a date?" she asked, her expression unfathomable.
"I don't know if meeting up with a girl is a date, well, a friendly date maybe" I grinned but her expression turned darker. Oh, why is that?
"Are you really going on a date?" she asked.
"You'll not let me go?" I asked back.
"You can't!" she almost yelled that my head snap at the hall way, it may bring the girls and I'm running out of time for interrogations. I raised an eyebrow at her.
"Uh? As far as I know, I can, since I'm single, and..." I trailed off when she ducked her head, her face carrying a heartbreaking reaction. Okay, this is weird.
"But I'm kidding unnie, I'm not going on a date, friendly or not. And remember we aren't allowed to date same gender if ever I'm not straight however, I have to go now, I hate to be late" I hug her to say goodbye but she held me tight, not letting me go.
"If ever you really found someone to date, please tell me first" she mumbled. Why? I should ask but I'm running late from the 30 minutes.
"I will Chae-unnie, I will, bye, see you later" thankfully she let me go but after kissing my forehead.
"Take care baby" she waved as I literally ran to the door.
"I already called an Uber, it's almost here, what took your time?" Jisoo unnie asked when I joined her below, both of us with mask and shades.
"Thanks unnie, uh, Chae-unnie caught me slipping and she almost didn't let me go when I said I'm going on a date with a girl" I said and Jisoo unnie laughed.
"That's Jealousé" she commented and the Uber arrived. We quickly entered it, not wanting to gain attention.
"Seoul Hospital" unnie told the driver before she turned to me again.
"Jealousé? But should you be jealous if your straight bestfriend went on a date? I mean, you're just bestfriends!" I exclaimed.
"Are you?" she asked back and I gave her a bitter smile.
"You, most of all people, know that" I replied and she sighed.
"How are you holding up?" she asked.
"I don't know, she's making it hard for me, and for her" I sighed.
"Let's talk more about that after your appointment" she dismissed as we started talking about random things. We refrained from naming people and referring to our jobs to keep our privacy from unwanted listeners.
After a few hours of tests and talking and listening, I'm finally released and we took another Uber. I find myself just following Jisoo unnie, as I always do for the past few months whenever we just left the hospital. It is because I'm lost in thought, and she knew it. I found myself in our usual lunch place on such occasion.
"First! You're doing good in acting as if you're not good with alcohol so you have to drink less. But what happened these few days that you have been taking in a lot, especially last night?" she scolded me. Well, I'm busted after the doctor questioned the amount of it in my system right now.
"I'm sorry unnie, I... I... When I went to the Philippines, my family came to meet me" I began and told her the truth.
I trust Chae-unnie and I know I can tell her the problem as well, but there's something in me preventing me not to tell her. As for Jisoo unnie, she has my complete trust. I know I can trust her with my life, and I've told her a lot of times already. She just laugh at me, but she knows I'm serious, and she's doing the best work at keeping all my secrets. Although I'm well aware she is having a hard time keeping secrets, she's doing the best for me, and to that, I'm thankful.
"Unnie, can't you see, I'm just a fucking mistake!" I reiterated as tears brimmed my eyes.
"You're not G, you definitely have a purpose or a mission that's why you were born" she argued.
"Mission? Purpose? That would be to wreck a family if ever! I'm just glad my step-dad is an understanding person that she didn't let the family be broken after Ma told him the truth!" I raised my voice.
It's a good thing we are in a VIP corner so we are alone in the room. She gestured me to tone down as the waiter came with our food. When he left, I resumed talking.
"And as for my real father, wouldn't he curse me if I show up and tell him, hey man, you remember what you did in PH? You fuck a woman and I'm your unwanted child" I rambled and she looked at me surprised.
"Watch your mouth G" she scolded.
"I was more enrage when Ma asked me to find him, and gave me just a 24 year old photo as base!" I sighed.
"Let's start from the beginning shall we? What did you feel when you heard you have a different father?" she asked.
"Boiling in anger, and self-pity" I replied.
"But they still love you as their very own family. You don't have to pity yourself. You still have them as your family" she explained.
"Yeah, but to know that I was just a result of lust and desire, and that I should not have been born in the first place hurts a lot unnie" I sobbed and when she moved to my side, hugging me, I lost my willpower and cried.
"And you don't know what to do now?" she asked once I calmed down. I nodded but kept my head on her arms.
"I'd say you just accept the fact and live life normally as you have been living. Your family will still be your family. And you can forget that you have a different father" she suggested. My mind however didn't agree with it.
"But I think you want to do something else" she looked down at me. Have she just read my mind?
"Your mom did say that your real Dad has told her to look for him if ever a you will be born?" she asked and I nodded.
"So she asked you to look for him?" she asked again and I nodded.
"But I don't know what's the point in looking for him. Just as I said earlier, my appearance could destroy his family" I replied.
"But you actually wanted to find him" she stated a truth I have been keeping in mind since my return from home.
I sighed defeated. Honestly, I do want to find him. I want to meet him and know him. I want him to know that I existed. I want to see his reaction if ever we will meet. But finding him isn't easy because all I have is his photo 24 years ago. These I told unnie.
"Can I see the photo?" she requested and I produced it from my purse.
"You're right. Surely he has aged now and probably have a different face by now" she nodded as she flip the photo.
"Hey, have you seen this initials?" she asked pointing at two capital letters at the back of the photo "M.P."
"Oh, I didn't noticed that. Why that's great! An additional information!" I happily exclaimed.
"You really do want to find him" she looked at me and my smile crumbled. She's right. I have been denying that before, but now, I admit.
"Yes, but I'm not sending search parties all over Korea to find a Korean man with M.P. as their initials and ask each of them to produce a photo 24 years old, just so I could compare" I replied.
"Oh, sounds like your plan" she laughed at me and I just shook my head. I really did has just told her my initial plan.
"But that's not easy, so I guess, I'll just leave it to destiny. If it wants us to meet, we will, at the right time" I nodded, finally decided on what to do.
"Unnie, thank you for listening, comforting and enlightening me. Finally I can be back to my old self again" I hugged her again.
"No problem G, you know I'm always available for you" she smiled as she returned to her seat. We resumed eating then, as I felt lighter and in a better mood.
"Second! You're appointment was supposed to be last week, why did you escape it, you almost had it bad!" she continued her lecture and I rolled my eyes.
"I forgot it, I only remembered it when I felt the symptoms" I defended.
"I already got a copy of your future appointments. I will drag you there in time from now on" she warned.
"Okay unnie, but you know our rule of Duo's right?" I warned her as well and she nodded.
"I'm the best among your bestfriends, of course I'm aware" she boasted and I laughed.
"You are, you are, just don't let Chae-unnie hear that, or she'll throw a fit, or cry hard" i laughed and she join me.
"She'll probably cry a basin of tears. She has grown very fond and attached to you" she commented.
"Yeah, uh, we should probably eat quick. I can imagine her pacing by the hallway now, waiting for me" I chuckled.
"Let's just hope she won't come down by the basement to wait for you, or we will be busted" Jisoo unnie replied.
"Hmm, either her or Jennie unnie, what do you think?" I threatened. Worry flashed in her eyes and I laughed.
"We should have a prepared lie if ever we'll be caught off guard, what should we say huh?" I asked.
"I agree, those two are scary if mad" she shivered.
"Let's just tell them we went on a friendly date" I suggested.
"And you said that Chaeyoung wouldn't let you go on dates, friendly or not" she replied.
"She won't be mad if it is you whom I'm with" I replied confidently.
"She might not be mad, but she'll be damn jealous, and you wouldn't want to be dealing with a jealous chipmunk. Lisa had the worst times winning her back" she refuted.
"I can't see any reason for her to be jealous. If she keeps me at arm's length because she's jealous, I'll keep her at two meters distance" I replied. It's my strategy that always works back in high school.
"Wow, I'm amazed. Should I apply that to my bestfriend nini?" Jisoo mused and I laughed.
"I think you don't have to. She won't be jealous if she will find out were out for a friendly date right?" I asked.
"No, I don't think so. She's so open minded about things. One thing I love about her" she smiled and I nodded.
Thankfully, no Chaeyoung was waiting by the basement when we set foot on the pavement. We were able to reach Jisoo's dorm free from jealous girls.
"Is there something else you want to tell me?" Jisoo prodded when she saw me lingering by the elevator.
Sighing in defeat, I moved out of the elevator and joined the older girl in her apartment. We plopped down on the couch and I braced herself.
"Unnie, you left us celebrating yesterday right? And as you already knew, I drunk myself to ease my pain, but ended up probably hurting my emotional self more" I gulped.
"What do you mean?" Jisoo gently urged me to continue.
"Well, I am hurt, and she was there. She's taking care of me and I think I just crave for intimacy" I was cut off by the unnie's gasp.
"No unnie, you're over the top. We didn't do anything other than a sorrowful kiss. I just kind of forced to kiss her and she just let me" I explained confused.
Jisoo's eyes were wide as saucers. "What happened next?"
"When I realized what my drunken self has done, I talked with her. She slipped she remembered when she kissed me the first time. We then agreed to count it even. We chalked it to the need of being fulfilled, needed, a way to release emotions and simply the feeling of intimacy" I explained.
"So you two are good?"
"I'm not entirely sure. This morning, I pretended I cannot remember anything. For a moment, I really don't but hearing I kind of yelled at them for taking away my drink made me remember. Unnie, I feel horrible"
"How about her? What's her reaction?"
"No idea, she's blank"
"Well, okay, but you two are weird, using kisses as a way to release emotions. The questionable thing is you two are mere bestfriends and not lovers who'd kiss each other regularly"
"We do not kiss regularly and furthermore, we won't be anymore" I assured her.
"Hm, let's see. But Genie, you have to take care of your heart. That's all my advice, okay?"
"Sure, noted madame Kim" I teased as she stood up ready to leave. After I thanked her for being my guardian, I walk the stairs up to our floor.