pairing - sirius black x reader
summary - you're drunk and try to kiss sirius. he rejects you 'cause you aren't sober. then the same thing happens again, but the other way around.
trope - friends to lovers, non-magic au!, fluff
word count - 2.9k
warnings - drinking, vomiting, mentions of sex, language
saying that you were bloody wasted would be a polite way of putting it.
parties were something you'd usually regret going to barely five minutes after arriving, yet you always managed to wind up in them. it was saturday night, and the biggest, most extra one you had probably ever attended was being held at james potter's house. you knew the bloke had a large social circle, but didn't think he would've invited the whole year over and even a few people below. good thing his parents were away for that week. he just happened to be another one of your and sirius' good mates, so you didn't have to ask him to know whether he'll be there or not. where sirius goes, you go too. because one, you'd grow bored out of your mind without him. and two, he was your very best friend. the best friend you definitely did not have feelings for.
so, there you were, stood on the balcony of what you assumed was one of the guest bedrooms, clutching a plastic cup filled with orange juice and a strong alcohol of some sort. you had not a clue what it even was. it tasted like absolute shit and it made your throat sting harder than anything you'd ever drunk, but it was enough to get you hammered and that was all that mattered. you were leaning maybe a tad bit too close to the railing, one simple push from behind would have you landing straight into the tussle the random blokes below you were having.
"don't fall over." sirius warned from behind you. he came back from a quick trip to the toilet. you scoffed, whining when he tugged at the sleeve of your (his) leather jacket to help you come back inside.
you spent most of the party on the second floor, trying to stay away from the bigger crowd. you hadn't seen james for a larger part of the night night, and you could only assume what he was getting up to since lily was nowhere to be seen either. you had remus by your side for quite a while, though. it was kind of an open secret that he wasn't very fond of parties, so he opted for staying upstairs with the pair of you where it was a little less rowdy for as long as he could bear.
there was a point in the night where mary and peter suddenly came looking for him. you were oh so shocked when he actually left you and sirius for them. being all but sober, you simply could not grasp why he would ditch you first chance he got. somene could, though, and that was sirius. he was guilty of staring at you like a proper lovesick idiot (that, of course, flew over your head because you couldn't even walk properly, let alone think straight) and remus wasn't about to watch the two of you passionately snog right next to him.
sirius was sober, much to everybody's surprise. you couldn't pinpoint why he wasn't in the mood for drinking, and why he was only on his second bottle of beer four hours in.
any other day, he'd be stumbling around the house, most likely butchering one of abba's songs, despite always putting on a face whenever james and the girls put them on. he told you it was the party that bored him.
unbeknownst to you, he decided not to drink so much after seeing you had some ulterior motives. sirius just wanted to make sure you'd get home safely, especially after experiencing several memorable train-wrecks trying to walk you to your house while the both of you were absolutely hammered. he also wanted to ensure that nobody else would attempt to do anything out of line. many blokes had their eyes on you, and completely and utterly obvious to everybody but yourself, sirius hated every single one of them. jealousy always got the best of him; at least that's what remus liked to say. but they didn't deserve someone as good as you, he'd tell himself, nor were they worthy of your attention. sirius loved you, he really did and you were too oblivious to comprehend how much he truly cared for you, even when you weren't intoxicated.
"okay, mum," you rolled your eyes, resting your head on his shoulder the moment you made it to the couch. "is this your fourth one?" he looked down at the cup in your hand with furrowed eyebrows.
"sixth," you giggled, waving the cup around. he managed to catch it before it fell out of your hand and spilled everywhere, and then threw it out the open window, "you've had enough."
"you twat, i was drinking that," you attempted to reach for your long lost drink, but failed miserably when you felt a terrible pain shooting through your head. you fell onto sirius' lap. you turned from your side and onto your back, your attention on him. he seemed worried, and even you could see that, as pissed as you were. you scrunched your face up and poked at his chest in a mindless attempt to cheer him up. and you got a laugh out of him. not like it was hard, anyway.
a cute little moment you had going on there, but your head was seriously begging to spin. partially because of the alarming amount of what you hoped was only vodka in your system, but partially because of sirius. and his stupid smile, and his stupid hair, and his stupid self that you adored with your whole being.
it was that night that you realised that you still hadn't, and probably wouldn't for a very long time, learn your lesson. mixing alcohol with an aching heart and secrets you'd take to your grave was never good, and certainly not given that you blurted out something you would never, ever, dared to have said while sober;
"i really wanna kiss you," it was almost inaudible, but sirius definitely heard it. he stiffened, sucking in a breath. he wanted more than anything in the world to kiss you, but not while you were in this state.
"y/n, no, you're drunk," sirius shook his head. you sat up with a pout on your face. he let his head fall down with sigh, and then glanced back at you only to be met with your disappointed expression.
"am i not pretty enough?" you took his hands. he didn't pull them out of your grasp.
"y/n, don't be silly," he massaged your knuckles with his fingers. your face didn't change. you couldn't make any sense of what he was saying. it was like a complicated riddle. all you understood was the word no, and that was the last thing you wanted to hear.
"that's not an answer," you whined, leaning forward in attempt to kiss him. sirius instinctively moved away, causing you both to slide off the couch and straight onto the floor. you fell onto his chest. he huffed, gently pushing you off of himself and standing up. he took your hand and pulled you up, and you collapsed against him.
your face was pressed against his shoulder and his arms were tightly wrapped around you, preventing you from falling and holding you in place. you felt safe in his embrace.
"y/n," he said softly. you looked up at him, lips pouty and eyes glossy, "you don't think i'm pretty enough to kiss."
"love, you're not sober enough to kiss," you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. he laughed, helping you stand up properly. you murmured something incoherent, latching onto his arm so that you wouldn't fall over.
"i'll kiss you when you're sober," he cupped your cheeks and smiled in attempt to reassure you. you shook your head with a frown. and you felt sick. alcohol and rejection were a little too rough to handle at once.
you pushed him out of the way and made a clumsy run out onto the balcony. you gripped the railing, leaned over it, and everything you had eaten and drank that day came back out. and again. and then again. you broke up the fight below, if anything. amidst all of that, you felt one of sirius' hands patting your back, and the other holding your hair away from your face.
you turned around and stumbled back inside, groaning in pain, humiliated. "are you better now?" he questioned worriedly as he followed after you.
"think so." you nodded, your face beet red from the shame you were feeling. you two managed to waddle downstairs and out of the house without any additional incidents (other than almost stepping onto a sleeping emmeline on the stairs and then running into marlene and dorcas who were eating each other's faces in the hallway).
"climb onto my back." sirius kneeled down in front of you once you successfully made it out onto the pavement in front of james' house. you obliged, feeling only slightly happier seeing that he will give you a piggyback ride home. it was the easiest solution he could think of, as trying to walk you back to your house with your wobbly legs would be a lot more challenging. yesterday, and the day before, and the day before that, both of you ended up with scraped elbows and bruises on your knees.
"promise." you snuggled your face into the back of his neck, inhaling his scent. it always calmed you, it felt like home. "hm?"
"promise that you'll kiss me."
"i promise." oh how he wished you were sober.
***
about a six days later, you were at it again, at marlene's birthday party. but this time, it was sirius who had too much to drink, not you. after having the worst hangover of your life the week before, you refused to touch any type of alcohol that was offered to you and decided to keep watch of your best friend, just like he kept watch of you. you tried not to leave his side, even in the crowded living room, where the air was so thick you could barely breathe, and where you couldn't even hear yourself think because of all the noise, coming both from the attendees and the record player in the corner.
"is the room spinning for you? it's spinning for me." sirius looked up at the ceiling, a drunken laugh slipping past his lips.
"how about you sit down?" you suggested, laughing when he managed to smack himself in the face.
"nah." he brushed you off, reaching for the cup with some sort of strange cocktail that he left on the windowsill. he took a swig, and then looked at you, smiling like an idiot.
"has anyone ever told you how pretty you are?" he tilted his head to the side. you felt heat rush to your cheeks and you awkwardly squirmed in your spot. "i've heard it once or twice." you swallowed, crossing your arms and looking down at your knees in embarrassment. you cursed inwardly for feeling so affected by his compliments, he wasn't thinking straight at all.
"you should hear it every day." you bit your tongue and glanced over at him. your eyes widened in horror when he began losing his balance. you instinctively reached for his arm, pulling him by the sleeve of his jacket and making him collapse onto the couch next to you.
"ouchie." he giggled, nuzzling his face into your arm. you were as still as a statue, pupils blown wide and face burning red. you didn't have the heart to push him away, so you let him do his thing, as long as it didn't go any further than that.
"y/n." he murmured.
"hm?" you sighed, averting your eyes to pandora and a bloke you didn't know a couple of meters away from you. they looked like they were about to snog any second. you exchanged a knowing glance with regulus who just happened to be passing by the pair of you. he didn't quite stick around though, and you couldn't blame him.
"you're really beautiful." sirius murmured. you inhaled sharply, mumbling a quiet thank you.
"y/n." he said again.
"what, sirius?" you turned your head towards him this time, noticing that his face had scrunched up.
"i think i'm gonna be sick."
of course he was. you almost lost count of how many drinks he downed, so you found yourself waiting outside of the bathroom, leaning against the wall with sirius sitting on the floor next to you.
"y/n." he managed to choke out. "yes?" you groaned, looking over at the bathroom door for the nth time. you gave up on beating the shit out of it when no answer came from the other side, though you were very much annoyed by whoever was in there because why the hell were they taking so bloody long.
"you know what we said at james' party?" he mumbled, his head falling to the side and resting on your legs. yes, you do. though you pretended not to remember anything that morning last week when sirius stayed over at your house after dragging you there. he didn't bring anything up either, so you thought it was safe to assume that he believed you couldn't recall what was said and that he could get away with it.
the truth is, he really did think you forgot and didn't want to make things awkward. he had feelings for you and he never tried to lie to himself about it, but much like yourself, was a bit oblivious. he chalked the whole "kiss me" outburst of yours up to the alcohol and refused to think or talk about it.
but now, his thoughts weren't exactly the clearest. he was too drunk to control what was coming out of his mouth.
"not really. many things were said." you cleared your throat, refusing to look at him. he grunted, struggling to get up onto his feet. when he did, he fell slack against you, throwing his arms around you.
"kiss." he sniffled. you squirmed out of his hold, sighing. "what about it?"
"i said i'll kiss you when you're sober," you nodded slowly, tapping your foot on the floor nervously, "now you're sober."
you laughed, shaking your head, "yes, but you're not."
"doesn't matter." he argued, pulling you into a hug again. the bathroom door opened just as he did.
"oh, for fuck's sake crouch." you cursed as barty walked past you with a satisfied smirk and a blushing evan trailing behind him. you rolled your eyes and quickly dragged sirius inside.
"what was i saying? oh yeah, it does matter." you retorted, leading him over to the toilet bowl. you had a death grip on him, making sure he doesn't fall because that would be simply disastrous, and you could finally breathe normally once you made it there. "how?" he leaned against it, looking up at the ceiling. he just seemed so... sad.
"because you're not sober." you stated the obvious. he whined, flailing his arms around like an angry toddler. "that's not important, i said i'll do it."
"sirius, forget the promise–"
"i don't care about the promise, i just wanna kiss you." he cried and launched himself forward into your arms. you didn't push him away this time, but held him instead, running your hands through his messy hair. "how about we kiss when we're both sober?" you suggested, swallowing the lump that formed in your throat. you were certain that it would never happen, and that you'll just keep making promises you know you can't keep.
"deal. tomorrow." he pulled back, sticking out his pinkie finger.
"tomorrow?"
he nodded. "promise." you locked your pinkie with his, and whispered, "okay, promise."
he was throwing up in the toilet ten seconds later. what a way to end your night.
the morning after, you woke up early, with sirius already awake and lying next to you, wrapped up into the blankets as if he was in a cocoon. only his eyes were peeking out and he smiled when you met his gaze. he looked adorable, you swore it was the best sight you had ever woken up to.
"good morning to you too." you chuckled tiredly, sitting up and rubbing your eyes with a yawn. "how are you feeling?"
"everything hurts and i smell bad, but other than that, i'm feeling fantastic."
"wonderful." you replied sarcastically, lifting up the blankets from your body to get out of bed. sirius tugged at your wrist before you could do that.
"what?" you met his eyes, and you instantly knew what he was thinking. "why didn't you say anything last week?" your lips formed into a thin line.
"figured you said it not to hurt me," you shrugged, looking down at your fingers which were now intertwined with his, "not 'cause, you know, you actually wanted to kiss me."
"i wouldn't have said it if it wasn't what i wanted." the honesty in his voice destroyed you. you didn't even have to look at him to know that he was telling the truth. your vision became blurry, and you fell into his arms.
you held onto each other for a good minute, and then pulled apart, only to collide again, letting your lips meet. you were finally kissing him, kissing your best friend. your best friend who was finally sober.
"ew, morning breath." you pushed him away, letting your head rest on his shoulder and laughing uncontrollably. "this is the worst moment we could have picked to profess our love each other." sirius chuckled along with you.
"you're the one who decided to get all cheesy at the crack of bloody dawn." you lifted your head to look at him, and you couldn't help but smile. he looked so happy, you wanted to kiss every single inch of his face.
"i'm mental about you, you know." he said softly, wrapping his strong arms around you. you buried your face into his neck, sighing in content, "i'm mental about you too."