CHAPTER 48
DISTURBED
Iris' POV
I went back upstairs after the party was over. Bumaba kasi ako at iniwan si Dashiell kanina upang makahinga ako ng maayos. Masyadong mabigat sa dibdib ang mga nangyari at kahit na nagkalinawan na kami, may parte pa rin talaga sa akin ang sobrang nasaktan sa ginawa niya.
I just never expected that from Dash. Akala ko kilalang kilala ko na siya pero may side pa rin pala siyang hindi ko pa nakikita.
"Coffee?" I offered upon entering his room. He nod his head so I walked towards him and handed him the mug that I brought.
"I should go home," I mumbled while looking at the clock on his bedside table.
"You're not staying?" gulat na tanong niya.
I don't feel like sleeping beside him tonight. Wala akong sama ng loob kay Dash pero gusto ko munang mapagisa.
Tumango lang ako at kinuha na ang purse ko na nakapatong sa study table niya.
He stood up and placed the mug on the side. "Hatid na kita."
Humarap ako sa kanya at umiling. "Kaya ko na."
Dash stared at me for a few seconds. Kita kong sinusubukan niyang basahin ang utak ko. Gusto niyang malaman kung ano ang iniisip ko ngayon.
"Are we okay?" nagaalalang tanong niya.
"Yeah. I just wanted to be alone tonight, if that's alright." I promised him I'll be honest so here it is. I'm telling him what's going on inside my mind.
He nodded and sighed. "I'm really sorry, Iris---"
"You don't have to apologize again." Tumingkayad ako at hinalikan ang pisngi niya. "We'll get through this, together."
He smiled a little but it wasn't a happy one. Malungkot pa rin ang mga mata niya.
"Goodnight, Dash." Naglakad na ako papunta sa pintuan nang magsalita ulit siya.
"Whose jacket is that?"
Natigil ako at agad tiningnan ang suot suot ko. Nawala na sa isip ko ang tungkol dito. I should have returned this to his brother earlier.
I turned around and faced Dash but before I could explain, he spoke again.
"Kay Damian ba galing 'yan?"
Obvious naman ang sagot sa tanong niya dahil may tatak pa ang suot ko ng 'University of Melbourne'.
"Oo. Nung bumaba ako kanina para sana umalis, nakita niya akong umiiyak kaya nilapitan niya ako. He asked me why but I just told him I want to go home. Pinahiram niya sa akin ito kaso nakalimutan kong ibalik."
I knew what I said sounded bad but I'm done keeping secrets from him. Napapagod na rin kasi talaga ako.
"He left with Nova after that," I added so he wouldn't imagine different things.
Halata sa mukha ni Dashiell na hindi niya gusto ang mga narinig niya pero hindi siya umimik. He just went over to his cabinet and handed me his varsity jacket.
"Wear this instead."
Tinanggap ko na lang iyon at nagpaalam na ulit sa kanya.
Pagkalabas ko doon ay natigil ako sa tapat ng pintuan ng kuwarto ni Damian. I wondered if he's inside his room.
Okay lang kaya katukin ko siya upang ibalik na ang jacket niya?
For some reason, I just continued walking towards the stairs till I was at their garage. Pagkasakay ko sa kotse ay napapikit ako.
I know I shouldn't be keeping Damian's but surprisingly, I couldn't get myself to remove his jacket.
Damian's POV
"Tiffany Yvone Smith's very classy one shoulder neckline with one long sleeve and cinched waist with a contract waistband made her shine for today's event. Her outfit was created by Hermes and was reportedly delivered here straight from France."
"Cayanne Leigh Grimshaw can be seen wearing Oscar Dela Renta white jumpsuit. But what really caught our eyes are her Harry Winston and Cartier jewelries which costs thousands of pesos."
"Avalyn Saint Vaughn totally rocks her customized white milan dress. The fluid pleated skirt was actually the idea of the famous Australian designer Alex P, a close friend of the Saint Vaughn's."
"Women," bulong ni Nigel sa akin kaya natawa ako. We were on the side, watching the reporters and the media. Nagkakagulo sila tuwing may dumadating na mga Elite.
"Where's your sister?" I asked him. Siya lang kasi ang dumating kaya naman nagtataka ako.
"On her way. She had last minute changes on her dress."
Nandito kami ngayon sa Madame Ayrel Winery para sa Private Vanyard Tour & Tastings ni Senyor. Normally I'd bail but this is the only excuse I could have, to see Iris, without my brother or anyone else realizing my real purpose.
I'm still disturbed by what happened at the party. Hindi talaga iyon mawala sa isip ko. I've seen Iris cry numerous times but not like that. Iba ang pagiyak niya nang gabing iyon. I may have promised Nova and Dash that I'm done with this whole fiasco but my concern for Iris will always be here.
I need to see that she's alright. Hindi ko naman siya lalapitan o kakausapin. I'd still keep my distance. Makita ko lang na ayos siya, solve na 'ko. Mapapalagay na ang loob ko.
I haven't seen her in a while. Hindi siya pumupunta sa bahay nitong mga nakaraang araw. If I could only call her to hear her voice...
"The famous couple's here," Nigel whispered to me.
I watched as Dashiell helped Iris get out of the limousine.
Tila tumigil ang mundo ko habang pinagmamasdan si Iris. She's wearing a very simple white cotton dress but it compliments her very well. Kitang kita ang kagandahan niya lalo na nang ngumiti siya sa harapan ng mga camera.
I cleared my throat and immediately looked away.
Stop falling for her, Damian.
"Tara na doon. Magsisimula na yata ang event."
Nigel chuckled. "You're an ass, bro. You seriously need to get laid in order to forget."
"F*ck off," I mumbled, pulling him towards our friends.
Pero bago ako makalayo ay nilingon ko ulit si Iris. She seems fine, almost as if nothing bad happened to her lately.
Iris' POV
I think I'm being punished.
Sa lahat naman ng magiging event ni Senyor, bakit 'yung ganito pang makakapagpaalala sa akin sa nakaraan ko? Seriously? Vineyard, wines and cellars? This is all Paris dejavu!
Nang ma-receive ko pa lang ang invitation, agad na akong umayaw. But of course, at the end of the day, it is still my Mom who would have the final say in my life.
I hated every single of this. Bawat lingon ko sa paligid, naiisip ko si Damian. Naiisip ko kung paano ako nahulog sa mga salita niya. Kung paano ko binigay ng buong-buo ang sarili ko sa kanya.
And it's not helping that he's only a few feet away from me. Nandito kami ngayon sa MAW cellars para sa wine testing. He's weirdly silent too. Parang hindi nga siya nakikinig doon sa nagsasalita. Nakatitig lang siya sa wine glass niya habang nakakunot ang noo niya.
Then all of a sudden, he looked up and met my eyes. Nanigas ako sa kinatatayuan ko. We both held each other's gaze until I could feel myself sweating a little. Umiwas ako ng tingin at huminga ng malalim.
He's thinking about it too. Sh*t.
Ang bilis ng tibok ng puso ko at pakiramdam ko mahihimatay ako. I need to get out of here. NOW!
Walang anu-ano'y lumabas ako doon at naglakad palayo. Tahimik ang galaw ko kaya walang nakapansin sa akin, not even Dashiell who is currently busy talking with his friends.
I walked towards the grape plantation, away from everything.
BAKIT BA NAIISIP KO PA 'YON? BAKIT HINDI KO NA MAGAWANG BURAHIN NA LANG ANG MEMORYANG IYON?
It sucks especially that I'm trying to change and give my all to Dash.
"Why can't I forget you?" my voice broke, closing my eyes while feeling the sun on my skin.
"It's my question too."
Napabalikwas ako nang may marinig akong magsalita mula sa likuran ko. My eyes widened in shock when I saw Damian, standing in front of me.
"I can't forget you too," He admitted. "I desperately wanted to but I couldn't. I'm struggling so hard to remove you from my life. Ilang taon na pero ikaw pa rin hanggang ngayon."
I pursed my lips and avoided his eyes. His words are the exact thoughts that I have right now.
"You shouldn't be here. If Dash sees us, we'd both get in trouble."
"What happened at the party, Iris?" diretsang tanong niya kaya napatigin ako sa kanya. "Why were you crying like that?"
"Hindi mo ba 'ko narinig? You should leave me alone. Bumalik ka na doon, Damian---"
"Please. Mababaliw na ako kakaisip. Nagaalala talaga ako. Sinubukan kong wag pansinin pero tuwing naaalala ko ang itsura mo no'n, nahihirapan ako."
I ignored his words. "Bakit mo ba 'ko sinundan pa? I'm trying my best to fix things but you keep on sabotaging it!"
"Sabihin mo kung anong ginawa ni Dashiell para manginig ka nang sobra sa takot."
Natahimik ako at nanlamig ang mga kamay at paa. Remembering that night still causes chills on my body.
"Tell me he didn't lay a hand on you." Malamig ang tono ng pananalita niya na may halong pagmamakaawa.
Ang daling magsinungaling at sabihing hindi ako nasaktan ni Dashiell pero hindi ko magawang ibuka ang bibig ko. I was frozen on spot, eyes fixed on him.
"Did he physically hurt you?" kabadong tanong niya.
Tumulo ang luha sa mga mata ko kaya naman agad ko iyong pinunasan. My tears betrayed me.
Damian wasn't supposed to know anything about it!
"F*cking hell! He'll regret this!" galit na galit siyang naglakad paalis kaya naman nag-panic ako. Pumasok agad sa isip kong susugurin niya ang kapatid niya kaya naman hinabol ko siya at hinila.
They already fought during the last event. Baka ma-banned na sila sa social gatherings kung magkakagulo pa ulit. And what would the public says? Kakalat sa buong mundo kung magaaway na naman sila.
"It's not what you think! Can you just please stop for a second?" Hindi ko magawang pigilan siya. Nakakapit na ako sa damit niya pero patuloy pa rin ang paglalakad niya.
"You just admitted to me that he hurt you!" Damian pointed out.
"Not intentionally!" I shouted back.
Tumigil siya at tiningnan ako. "What do you mean?"
Hindi ako nagsalita kaya naman mas lalong uminit ang ulo niya. "You know I won't let this go. Either you tell me or I'll comfront him right now."
I pushed his chest in anger. "Bakit ba nangingielam ka pa? Ayos na nga kaming dalawa!"
"Sinaktan ka niya, Iris. Tingin mo magagawa kong manahimik na lang? Hindi ko pinaglaban 'yung pagmamahal ko sa'yo kasi akala ko itatrato ka niyang maayos. Pero kung magiging g*go lang pala siya, hindi ako papayag na sa kanya ka mapupunta. You deserve more than that! Kahit hindi na ako ang makatuluyan mo, basta wag ka lang mapunta sa lalakeng hindi ka kayang mahalin nang tama!"
"Hindi niya ginusto na masaktan ako, Damian. We were being intimate and he was just rougher than usual. I was drunk that's why I overreacted," I lied since I know it won't do any good if he knew the real reason why Dash acted that way.
Damian didn't say a word for a minute but I noticed his jaw clenched.
"Are you telling me he sexually assaulted you?"
Bigla akong may narinig na tunog ng kahoy na naputol malapit sa amin kaya napatingin ako sa likuran ni Damian. It was Zin and he seemed to have stepped on a branch of tree. Siya lang ang tao doon kaya naman napagtanto kong talagang pinuntahan niya ako dito.
He may have seen me and Damian leave the place.
Zin gestured for me to come along. Mukhang tapos na ang wine tasting at papunta na sila sa production site. Tumango lang ako kaya naman umalis na siya.
I sighed and glanced back to Damian.
"Your love for me hurts me more," I whispered so low I'm not sure if he heard me.
If I could only have another body and soul, the other me would definitely choose you.
But that's not the case here. I am only one and this Iris knows she has to do the right thing.
"I appreciate your concern but you don't need to get yourself involved. The last thing I'd want is for the Lewis brothers to hate each other."
Dashiell's POV
Nagulat na lang nang paglingon ko ay wala na sa tabi ko si Iris. She was just there a few moments ago, sipping her wine quietly.
My eyes immediately wandered the room to find her but she was nowhere to be seen. Malas lang dahil pinalabas na kami ng Cellar para magpunta sa production site. Mas madali sanang mahanap si Iris kung nakikita ko ang lahat sa iisang kuwarto lang.
While walking, I noticed my brother is also missing. He's not with his group. Lagi silang magkakasama kaya nakakapagtaka na mawala ito.
Nice. What a coincidence, huh.
When I saw Iris' friends, I hurriedly went to them. "Have you guys seen my girlfriend?"
Zin glanced at me while the others looked around. Napansin ko iyon pero bago ko siya tanungin kung bakit ay nagsalita bigla si Ava.
"Must be at the bathroom."
"Right. Thanks."
Tiningnan ko uli si Zin pero kay Caylee na siya nakatingin kaya naman binalewala ko na lang iyon. Maybe his gaze didn't mean anything.
Iniwan ko na sila at tumakbo na ako palayo. Kinakabahan ako lalo na at alam kong may kasalanan ako kay Iris.
Ever since I messed up that night, I developed a huge fear inside of me. Fear of losing Iris.
I'm afraid she might realize I'm not the right guy for her and that she's better off with someone else, my brother specifically.
But I'm holding onto the hope that she loves me. Nangako siya sa'king kapag binigyan ko siya nang pangalawang pagkakataon ay mamahalin niya na ako ng buo.
"Hello? Iris?" I shouted outside the girl's comfort room but no one answered. Kinatok ko iyon at nang wala talagang sumagot ay pumasok na ako sa loob upang i-double check. Binuksan ko pa bawat cubicle.
She's not here.
Where would she be?
Umalis na ako doon at naglakad na uli hanggang sa naisipan kong tawagan ang cellphone niya.
Thankfully after a few rings, she finally answered.
"Hey. Where are you?"
"Ah. Nag-CR lang,"
I stopped. I was just there. "H-ha? Saan?"
"Nag-CR lang ako," she repeated.
I took a deep breath and tried to think positively. Baka naman may iba pang CR dito at doon siya nagpunta. She promised me she'd be honest so I trust her.
"Where are you exactly? Puntahan kita."
"Hindi na Dash, pabalik na ako. I'll see you there." She ended the call after that.
Okay. I guess I'll just wait for her.
Tatalikod na sana ako nang makita ko siya sa 'di kalayuan. She was walking alone from the vineyard.
See? She's not with your brother, Dashiell.
I smiled and waved my hand for her to see me, but then someone showed up behind her. Akala ko kung sino lang iyon pero nang mapagtanto ko kung sino ang kasama niya ay tila ba nabagsakan ako ng malaking bato sa ulo.
My whole world fell apart as I realized it's Damian.
How can Iris lie to me again?
And how can my own brother betray me over and over again?
Ano bang ginawa ko at ginaganito nila akong dalawa?
"So much for promises."
*End of Chapter 48*
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We're almost at the end! :(
Few more chapters.