"Veronica, it is time to wake up," Matilda's familiar and ever so happy voice rings across the room. Slowly I open my eyes, upset over how poorly I slept. I am just glad that there were no nightmares throughout the night. They have been coming less and less and for that, I am thankful.
"Good morning," I groggily reply, not nearly as peppy.
"How did you sleep?" Matilda asks as I stretch and yawn, maybe a little bit dramatically.
"Fine," I reply, "But, I could not be more happy to be awake,"
"Well I am glad to hear, for a second there I thought you began to forget what today is," Matilda snickers as she begins to take my dress out of its protective covering. I watch it intently, how beautiful it is, how today is the big day, how Anthony will see me in this in just a few hours, it all is crashing down on me right now.
"It's a beautiful dress isn't it," I reply to her statement, not truly addressing her words, "It is, your mother always had the best taste,"
"She did, didn't she," I reply now thinking of her. How she always was so gentle, caring, and never wanted anything less than the best for me. How above all else she simply wanted me to be happy. I wonder what this season would have been like if she didn't get sick. Would she have allowed the proposition with Stephan to happen? I doubt it but women's words in this society have little impact. Would I be feeling so dramatically homesick?
"Miss, it's time to get out of bed now. I ran your bath right before walking in and it may get cold if we wait much longer," Matilda insists as she finishes draping the matching veil on top on the dress.
"Alright fine," I groan before dramatically rolling out of my bed, trying hard to not feel the immense amount of anxiety that is threatening me.
From there I follow Matilda to my bath chambers, still wrapped up in my bedsheets. Once inside I set the blankets onto the ground in a messy pile before following suit with my nightgown. Carefully I hop inside of the bath and let Matilda wash my hair.
"Are you excited Veronica? I mean this is a very big day and you have showed almost no emotion to the matter,"
"I am. I am a little bit nervous for the ceremony but, I am marrying the love of my life so a i couldn't be any happier. I just am trying to adjust to reality. Can you understand that? It's as if I hold these feelings off for longer they won't feel as real,"
"But don't you want them to feel real? Veronica, I know I am just your help but, I see you as a lot more than that. I feel as though after all these years I can call you my friend. I know you, I have watched you grow, and I know that your mother would want you to be embracing every second of this day. I can see that you miss her, that you're acting reserved not only because of your mother, but also your father and maybe even Stephan," She explains gently and I can feel my eyes begin to water, "You are marrying the love of your life today. I know this is not how you ever envisioned your wedding to be but I can guarantee your Mother is watching with a grin from the heavens. You may have had a traumatic past month, and you may have experienced loss, but you are also gaining so much,"
"I think I am just scared," I quietly reply.
"Scared? Why of course you are! Anyone would be but aren't you also happy? And if you aren't why are you going through with this? You already escaped a marriage you didn't want once before, and I believe that Anthony cares about you enough to let you go-"
"No! No, I am happy! I would die before letting go of Anthony once more. There is just so much to think about and to dwell on,"
"Well I suggest you take your time to figure all of your feelings out. But, at the same time you are to be married today, you are to engage socially with lots of people today. Do you want to remember today as one where you felt like hiding away, or one where you lived every moment to the fullest?"
"One where I live every moment to the fullest," I reply as she finishes up with my hair.
"Good, now pardon my intent. I didn't mean to push you or anything, I just want you to be happy,"
"And I am," I reply now looking at her, "I genuinely am,"
"Well good," She smiles before grabbing my towel, "Now dry off, Anna, Daphne, Eloise, and all of the other ladies of the house will be waiting for you in your chambers to help you get ready,"
"And you will be there too, correct?" I ask as she sets the towel next to the tub.
"Of course I will. Now hurry up, we will be waiting,"
From there I am left alone in my bath chambers in silence. I watch the fireplace in the corner of the room in an almost meditative state. Everything pretty is catching my eye today. I then grab onto the soap and begin to clean myself up for my big day. And to be suddenly alarmed, a collection of knocks pound on the hallway connecting bath chamber door.
"Matilda I will be out in just a minute!" I yell assuming she is coming back to check in on me. She almost seems more anxious about today than I am.
"It's not Matilda," The loveliest voice chimes as the door quickly opens and shuts again. I turn around to the door to notice Anthony standing there, he already looks so handsome and well but together despite him only wearing a white undershirt and some comfortable trousers. He could look undeniably attractive in anything.
"Anthony, what are you doing here?" I harshly whisper leaning on the edge of the tub, not only to give him my full attention, but to also cover my breasts.
"I needed to see you again, before we are wed. I know it's not proper, I know especially right here and right now I should not be seeing you... but I couldn't help myself."
"Shh, Anthony half of your family is waiting in the room next to us. You can't let them hear you in here with me," I demand before studying his facial expression, "are you nervous," I ask somewhat brushing off his statement, "Because the day hasn't even started and I am already exhausted in anxieties,"
"Of course I am my love," He replies kneeling down in front of me, "But I also could not be any more excited,"
To his words I give no verbal reply, instead I simply lean in for a kiss to which he passionately returns. It doesn't take long for me to remove my arms from across my chest to around Anthony's neck. I lie to myself, saying that it's necessary for balance. Eventually we let the kiss go and we simply stare at each other for a few moments.
I then notice his gaze slowly pacing lower and lower and I can't help but blush when I realize he is staring at my breasts.
"I guess there is a little sneak peak for tonight," I giggle still staring at him. I then reach out to his chin and force his gaze back up before quickly kissing him once more.
"You are so beautiful Veronica, you know that don't you?" Anthony clammers causing me to blush even more.
"And you are so handsome," I reply not wanting to engage in his compliment, "Now I need to get out of this tub and you need to leave. Matilda is already super on edge and I don't want to risk anyone finding us in here together,"
"So what if they find us in here together-"
"Anthony," I retort my voice now stern, "We have tonight don't we? And every other night beyond then, forever,"
"Fine," Anthony growls before kissing my forehead. I watch him stand up and my heart begins to flutter at my own statement. Forever, "I will see you soon my love,"
"And I you," I reply back as he carefully opens and closes the door, leaving me alone once more.
From there I quickly grab for my towel. I lazily dry off my hair before stepping out of the tub to dry my body off. From there I slip into my undergarments, my mind locked on that sudden encounter. Anthony saw me naked, even if it was just my breasts that I could tell he was looking at I am sure he saw my bum through the water. The thought of that alone shoots butterflies through my stomach. But for now, I must push those feelings aside.
Once decent, I walk through the bath chamber door that connects to my room.
"There is the bride!" Daphne is the first one to remark excitedly.
"And you guys are all here, thank you," I reply before I begin to give everyone hugs, my hair still damp and my mind still fuzzy.
"Of course we are," Eloise smiles, "I mean we have been here for the past three nights,"
I make sure to hug Eloise extra tight. Although I am marrying her brother, there will always be a special place in my heart for her soul.
"Your mother, she left me something to give to you on this day," Matilda speaks up peaking my interest.
"What is it?"
"Here," Matilda simply replies handing me a box made up in ribbon.
Carefully I grab the box from her, I can tell that this was wrapped by mother. She always tied her bows a special way. She tried to reach me how many times but I was always far too impatient to learn.
I move over to the bed to open the gift, making sure to sit down to center myself. Carefully I pull off the ribbon, refusing to untie her bow. I can feel everyone's eyes on me and I could care less. The room feels empty.
I carefully take the lid off of the box to reveal some smaller boxes. On top of it all sits a handwritten letter. Carefully I pick it up and begin to read.
Veronica, my dear sunshine, I fear if you are reading this I am already gone. I am writing you this letter to tell you how proud I am of you. You are the strongest woman I know and I am so glad to call you my daughter. I am sorry if being involved in the season was not what you wanted. I have always known from your young age that you would be a hard woman to tie down. And for that I hope you never are. I am praying to the heavens that you have ended up with the man of your dreams, whomever he may be.
Your father has never been easy on you. If it could have been my choice, maybe if we lived in another time, I would have begged you to continue your studies. Well, begged you to do whatever makes you the happiest. In joining the season I never imagined you to be the Diamond of the Season. I know that level of formality really isn't you, you are just good at putting on a show, pleasing people. I hope that you found some good from the season, I hope you made some friends and I hope you will learn from these experiences. You have always been a people pleaser and at times I couldn't thank you enough for that. You were the perfect daughter to your father, even if it didn't seems to be at times. But now, my sunshine, I don't want you to hide behind that mask any longer. I want you to be yourself.
And if you are reading this today it means you are getting married. I do hope the man who will hold your hand is made of your wildest dreams. I am writing this letter after just finding out about my sickness and I pray to god he lets me stay long enough to gift you these presents myself. But, if you are seeing this letter I am afraid that is not true. But still, know that I am here. If I live in the heavens, know that I am watching right over your shoulder, guiding your way.
The gifts are numbered, please only open the first one right now, the rest can be opened after your wedding on your own time.
I love you my sunshine
- Your very proud Mother
After reading the letter I can't help but stare at it for another minute. I miss her, I miss her so much. None of this is fair, none of it.
"Are you okay?" Anna asks before sitting next to me.
"I- yes. Yes, I'm fine," I reply folding the note back up, "I just miss her," I reply before grabbing for the package labeled with the number one.
Carefully I unwrap it and a jewelry box lays in front of me. I open it up to reveal a set of diamonds, bigger than I have ever seen. How the hell could she have afforded these. Or at least kept these secret from me. I then notice that the box has a name engraved in it, "Elizabeth Keery." My great grandmother. I carefully take the necklace out of the box and stare at diamonds. I then notice another note fall out of the packaging.
These diamonds belonged to my grandmother, she wore them to her wedding, as did my mother, as did I, and I hope you will too.
"Those are beautiful," Anna breathes and all I can do is nod in agreement.