Six years ago.
Eleven-year-old Nisha sat on the railing of the crow's nest, feeling as the supple waves of the Orinas Sea gently rocked the ship back and forth as they sailed through the calm night. The subtle breeze whipped around her, throwing her short brown hair flying in a mess around her head, but she kept a smile on her face as she took in a deep breath of the salty sea air.
Alongside the wind, she heard soft humming. A familiar sound that brought her instant joy. She quickly hopped off the rail and grabbed onto a rope hanging from the sails, swinging herself down to the deck where she spryly leapt to the wooden floorboards and started to approach her mother where she sat at the bow of the ship, humming to herself.
Hearing the barefoot pattering of the girl rushing over, her mother's ear flicked back and she smiled as she looked back at her daughter, her humming stopped.
"Yes, Hu'Nisha?" her mother softly chuckled. For a woman Nisha has heard bellow commands left and right with an empowering growl to her tone as displays of exactly why she's the captain, her mother had a strangely soft voice when speaking to Nisha and her three younger brothers.
Nisha climbed up onto the wooden bench next to her and sat with her legs crossed and her tail flicking behind her. "You hum that song all the time at night. Hu'Nisha is curious, what song is it?" she asked and innocently tilted her head.
Her mother sighed serenely and leaned back on the bench. She took a small drink from her mug of rum before setting it down and facing the girl.
"You remember the story of where your mother and father come from, yes?" she asked and the girl nodded.
"Narvadin, right?"
Her mother nodded as well. "That's right. Well, when the Orcs invaded, we were forced to leave our home or risk becoming enslaved. As our people - the Tus'Felnis - sailed away from Narvadin, we would sing this song. 'Lunsaetus,'" she explained.
Nisha's ears perked up. "That means... 'Fireflies,' no?" she asked, and her mother responded with another nod.
"Correct," she wrapped an arm around Nisha and pulled her against her side, staring up at the stars hanging in the shining night sky above them. "Fireflies are a symbol of luck and guidance to our people. So by singing of them in our darkest hour, we are holding onto hope that we may yet one day return home," her tail swung up to wrap around Nisha as the girl leaned into her shoulder with a smile.
"Can you teach Hu'Nisha this song? She wants to have hope, too," the girl asked.
Her mother happily chuckled with a nod before taking another drink and she started to sing.
________________________________
__________________
Present day.
Nisha rushes through the hall, heading back down to the servants' quarters in search of the door that will bring them to the warehouse. She almost steps around the corner without pausing, when a metal hand grabs her arm and pulls her back.
Cree activates the invisibility implant in his neck and the effect spreads from him to Nisha, cloaking them both from sight just in time for a pair of officers to come rushing around the corner and march down the hall.
He deactivates the invisibility and steps out, looking both ways down the hall with a stony expression, when he quickly looks back to Nisha and motions for her to move back.
Nisha listens and backs up, hiding in another small storage closet but leaving it open a crack so she can peek out and see what's happening, when Cree straightens his shoulders and holds his head higher once The Director appears in their way.
"Ghost? I don't recall giving you orders to come down here. You're supposed to be on watch for the cat in B1," she questions and looks him over skeptically.
Cree doesn't waver his firm stance. "Apologies, Director. I found no signs of her in B1, but I was informed that she was last seen in A4, so that's where I'm heading. If you'd rather I return to B1, I will do as you instruct," his voice remains completely monotone and reveals nothing of his emotions. If he hadn't just helped Nisha kick some real Imperium ass back in the ballroom, she might even be convinced he's still following Corbin.
The Director tilts her head and narrows her eye at him in question. "And who, exactly, informed you she was seen in A4?"
Cree's only tell of how he's lying is that while his hands are crossed behind his back, his fingers are anxiously fidgeting with the plating on his metal arm. "I was told this by Unit Seven, your grace," he answers, recalling Unit Seven having been the one to find him and Nisha in the ballroom. Can't question the dead.
Corbin slowly nods. "I see. Very well, Ghost. You may proceed to A4. But I expect you to report to my office once the cat has been caught," she orders and Cree firmly nods, giving her a quick bow.
"As you command, your grace."
The Director carries on down the hall and Nisha waits for Cree's signal before coming out of the closet and returning to his side. She points down the hall. "Come on. Let's get to the canal. Around the bend is where we'll find my ship. We can get back to the Firefly from there," she explains and starts rushing ahead, Cree slightly lagging behind but still follows.
They make their way through the warehouse, which is thankfully empty of people since the dock workers were ordered to leave once the alarm was sound.
But as Nisha reaches the door that will bring them to the canal, she looks back to see that Cree has stopped following her and is instead standing in the center of the room, looking down at the Imperium symbol on his metal shoulder.
"Hey Lefty, c'mon, we've gotta get the fuck out of here," Nisha states in a whisper but he just sighs and steps closer, still looking at his arm.
"...We're really going back to the Firefly? Just... like that?" he questions as he meets her eyes. She lightens up once she sees the spark of fear and guilt in his eyes.
She sighs and steps towards him. "Yes. The Firefly is under attack, or it was last I heard. We need to get back and make sure the others are okay," she says and turns back towards the door. Cree still wants to protest, but he stays silent and follows her regardless.
They get through the warehouse and sneak their way over the canal, and after hurrying around the bend, Nisha's ship finally comes into view. They sprint for it, and once there, Nisha grabs a low-hanging rope and begins to climb up. Cree follows and they both hop onto the deck.
Nisha instantly takes the wheel and Cree doesn't need to be asked as he raises the anchor. Soon, the pirate ship is pulling out from the coast of Espheral.
As Nisha steers the ship, she keeps an eye on Cree where he's sitting on the lower deck, still staring at his metal arm. She's used to him being rather quiet, but this seems to be on a different level. She's used to 'brooding,' not 'anxious.'
She would go down there and talk to him to see what's going on, but she's admittedly a bit unsure of what to say for once. It would be easy if she knew for a fact where he currently stands with them, but she doesn't know how far he had gone, let alone how much of him is really 'back.'
The last thing she needs is for him to be faking it and she just ends up leading him straight to her friends. But ultimately, it's not up to her to decide what to do with him. That right falls to Regan alone.
The sail has so far been calm, but with a heavy breeze, she can smell smoke on the air.
As they come around the bend, her face pales at the sight of the Firefly burning in the distance. It may be miles away, but she can see how the ship is almost completely gone. The flames dance across the ripples in the water and the smoke rises into the night sky, ashes mixing with falling snow.
Cree finally lifts his head to see it and his eyes widen. He gets up and rushes to the rail at the bow of the ship and stares ahead at the burning wrecked ship.
He shakes his head and shudders, silently watching the fires dance.
Nisha's ears fold back and she closes her eyes before starting to quietly hum to herself.
'Let the fireflies guide the way.'
Amidst the silence of the night, they suddenly hear the screech of a hawk.
Nisha opens her eyes to see as Cree looks to the sky with a shadow of a smile and lifts his metal arm, and the great black hawk swoops down to perch on his metallic forearm. The size of the bird made Nisha almost worry it was going to knock him over entirely.
Achilles flaps his wings as he settles on Cree's arm and he lowers the bird to look at him. Nisha watches with her head tilted as Cree stares at the hawk and his smile slightly grows in the silence, and she has to remember that where he comes from, telepathic robot animals are apparently 'normal.'
Cree nods to the bird. "Lead us to them," he says before turning and casting his arm out and Achilles takes back to the sky, circling the ship a few times then turning to start soaring north.
With a hopeful smile of her own, Nisha turns the wheel to follow.
They sail north and turn slightly east once they get past the coast of Espheral, but as they keep following Achilles' path, they watch the bird angle his glide a bit downward. It's hard for Cree to see in the dark, but Nisha is able to make out exactly where the bird is heading and her smile continues to grow.
The hawk is flying straight for a ship marked with the symbol of Sage.
There are two ships, actually. Both from Sage. And from what she can tell, they're both anchored at sea and boarded to each other. It clicks in her brain that the second ship must be the help Latanya told them would be on the way. Peace's men who were willing to help with their fight against the Imperium.
Nisha's heart warms at the sight and she looks down at Cree, who has now lost his smile. He's standing tense as they get close enough for him to see the symbol of Sage on the ships. He's silent, but Nisha can tell just from the way he froze that inside, he's screaming.
As they get closer, Nisha climbs down from the wheel to start lowering the anchor, when she sees Cree turn and run down into the cabins below deck. She sighs, but it's consoling to know that he can't really run far while stuck on a ship in the middle of the ocean.
She sees the lights flickering from the Sage ships and across the decks are a few tents and bedrolls with lanterns set around for light.
The pirate ship pulls up next to the Sage one, where it stops and Nisha lowers the bridge, climbing up and rushing over once she sees her friends gathered around a few lanterns on the deck. There are a number of new people bearing the symbol of County Mortal on their coats and are holding guns of various types, but they mostly keep to themselves and let the others take it easy as they recover.
Thor's head perks up and he barks, getting Regan and Colin to lift their heads and see as Nisha hops down from the bridge and looks to them with a weary smile. Regan gasps as he sees her and quickly gets up to rush over, limping his way to her and he pulls her into a hug.
Colin watches them for a moment and shows a small smile at seeing that the Tus'Felnis is okay, but he turns his gaze back down and the smile quickly fades.
Nisha returns Regan's embrace and hugs him tight. His arms tremble around her and his hold is tighter than normal, but considering what they've been through, she can't blame him.
"...We were so worried you may have been killed," he shudders and closes his eyes.
The Tus'Felnis snickers as she leans into his shoulder. "Haven't I said before that not much can kill me?" she chuckles and hugs him tighter as well. "I'm glad you're okay too."
"How did you get out?" Regan asks as he leans back enough to look at her, her smile slightly wavers.
She sighs and looks away coyly. "I... had some help."
Regan tilts his head curiously and examines her coy demeanor, but he's unable to get another question in before they all hear a floorboard creak as someone steps off the bridge and onto the deck behind Nisha. He looks past her and all thoughts are lost in an instant.
Cree stands there, frozen, with his hands raised in surrender and his head down.
Several of the Mortal officers raise their guns and aim at him, but Regan instantly steps in front of them and snaps his arm out to block them.
"Wait! Nobody shoot," he orders, getting the officers to immediately stand down, but they keep their guns ready, just in case.
Regan steps around Nisha to swiftly approach Cree, who still has yet to look at him.
"Cree?" he shudders his name. His eyes trace over him without blinking, taking in everything about the man in front of him. Everything that's different. Everything that's the same. Everything that made him 'Cree' as opposed to the things that make him 'the Ghost.'
It hurts his heart that he honestly can't tell.
Cree stays completely silent and even bites his lip and closes his eyes. He looks like he might even be holding his breath as his body trembles. He still keeps his head down, averting his gaze entirely so that he can't see Regan at all.
Regan waits for him to respond, but when he doesn't, he turns to look back at Nisha, searching her eyes for answers. Some sort of confirmation that this really is Cree. Their friend. The love of his life. The father figure to Reela.
He finds nothing. Her eyes hold only the same questions. The same uncertainty for where 'Cree' currently stands.
Regan hears the zipper of a tent open and he quickly looks back to see Reela step out and sleepily rub her eyes with a yawn.
He snaps his attention back down at Cree, seeing that his unblinking gaze is now fixated on the girl.
Without hesitation, Regan steps back and faces the officers. "I want to speak with him in private later. For now, keep him away from the people here," he orders and turns away entirely, when one officer steps up to him while the others grab Cree's wrists and fasten them behind his back.
"Do you want us to question him?" the officer asks.
Regan sighs and looks down. "You can ask him questions, but if he doesn't respond, don't push him. Simply walk away and I will see to him myself. Is that clear?" he looks at the officer again to see as she salutes him.
"Crystal. We'll disarm him and make sure he is of no threat to you or your friends."
Regan turns away again and holds the back of his neck as the officers take Cree down into the cabin below deck to keep him as what is essentially a prisoner.
When did things get like this?
Nisha's ears slightly lower as she cautiously approaches Regan while looking in the direction of the cabin where Cree is now being held. "What was that about? I'd have thought you'd want to talk to him right away."
"Believe me, Nisha, I do," Regan lets out a long, deflated sigh. He glances over to see Reela sit down in front of a lantern and Todo makes his way over to give the girl a blanket before he sits down next to her and they start talking.
Nisha looks from the children back to Regan. "Does... she even know he's alive?" she asks carefully.
Regan emits a weak huff and looks at her. "No. Of course not."
"Why haven't you told her?"
Regan shakes his head and lowers his voice. "Why do you think? Her father abused her. If she knows that Cree turned against us and tried to kill me..." he closes his eyes and turns his head away as Nisha slowly nods her understanding.
"You don't want her to think he would hurt her," she says, but Regan shakes his head again.
"That's part of it," he says. "But my bigger concern is not knowing if he actually would hurt her. So for now, I'd rather play it safe. I don't want her to see him until we are certain on where he stands."
Nisha's ears lower more and she steps towards him. "But... there's still a chance that he really is back to being himself," she says in a small voice. For once, she actually finds herself somewhat struggling to think of anything eloquent to say, which admittedly scares her.
Regan nods sternly. "A chance is not a guarantee," he states. "And I will not be taking chances when it comes to the safety of my daughter," he says before taking a deep breath and walking over to Reela and Todo, throwing on a forced smile as he sits with them.
Nisha looks around, seeing Colin still sitting somewhat away from everyone else under a slightly larger tent that's laid out with a few cots. As she approaches, she sees that he's kneeling next to a cot with Malachi laying unconscious with a bloody bandage around his head. The old man's skin looks sickly pale. There are traces of dried blood in the corners of his mouth and his dark grey hair is looking a bit lighter, maybe even thinner.
Nisha kneels next to him and holds her hands over Malachi, casting the green glow of her magic over his head as she turns her attention to Colin.
"...What happened?" she asks apprehensively.
Colin keeps staring absently at Malachi and it's then that she notices he's holding his hand. The SRL silently sighs and responds without looking at her. "...Naomi was taken by the Imperium..." he starts.
Nisha's face pales and her ears snap back. "...What...? Why...?" her magic nearly falters. "Why the hell would they take her?!"
He shrugs feebly. "...Hell if I know... Malachi tried to protect Edith... but in the end, he almost died and she got taken too..." he tightens his grip on Malachi's hand.
Nisha looks at Malachi again as she works on healing him. The wound around his eye starts to mend, but his skin and hair don't restore their color. She looks him over quizzically, not understanding why her magic isn't fully helping him, when she sees a tear fall from Colin's eye and he doesn't break his gaze from Malachi.
"...He has cancer," he barely manages to whisper. "...He told me when we stopped here... He almost died to protect Edith because... he's been ready this whole time... He wanted me to leave him there..." he now holds Malachi's hand in both of his as a few more tears escape his eyes.
Nisha slowly lowers her hands from Malachi and just stares at him. Her heart beats faster but her blood runs cold in her veins. Her mind races, fighting with her heart to find the right words to say. Something to make things better. To bring back that hope that they're going to make it out okay.
She thinks of nothing.
She shakily stands up with her head down, her shoulders tense as her body fights to not start breaking down.
"...I'm... so sorry," she whispers. Colin says nothing.
Nisha slowly starts backing out of the tent and she stops to stand in front of it so she can look around the deck, seeing her friends scattered around.
Regan sits on the floor with Reela and Todo. He's staring vacantly in the direction of the cabin where Cree is being held. Kitty is sitting alone against the rail of the ship with her knees still hugged to her chest and her head down, even as Corb makes his way over and sits with the girl. Thor lays at Colin's side, softly whining but the SRL is unable to turn his gaze away from Malachi.
Naomi and Edith have been taken. Latanya was captured. Oliver is dead and Malachi is dying and there's nothing any of them can do about it.
Everyone is silent. There's nothing to say anymore.
Nisha closes her eyes and takes a deep breath in.
"...Hold out,"
She quietly sings.
Her mother's hum resonates in her ears.
A few heads turn to look at her, but they all remain silent as she keeps going.
"...Hold out for the light, for the dawn as it breaks..."
"Through the dark, the fireflies guide the way..."
"...Guide the way..."
Her voice trails off as she feels a burning lump in her throat and she opens her eyes to stare down at the boards beneath her feet. Feeling the waves and the wind under the night sky as snowflakes float through the air.
The tension looms heavily in every breath, every word, every movement. But still,
She closes her eyes again before continuing.
"Sing out,"
But her eyes quickly open as Colin's voice joins in.
He lifts his head to look back at the Tus'Felnis and show her a broken smile.
"Sing for our children, in the fields where they play."
"Join voices and sing, for everything to be okay,"
Nisha smiles back.
"Everything will be okay."
"Just let the fireflies guide the way,"
"Guide the way."
Nisha feels the tension start to fade from their words.
"Wake now,"
Regan's voice joins next as he lifts his head to look over at Nisha.
"Wake to the night, as our ships ride the waves."
"Though the storm, carries on, it will end one day,"
"End one day."
The cold feeling in Nisha's heart begins to warm as a few more voices join in.
"Sing out,"
"Sing for the fallen, for their shields where they lay."
"Their spirits will rise, as the fireflies, guide their way..."
The voices grow louder.
Loud enough to be heard from the cabin below, where Cree sits on the floor with his real arm tied to a post against the wall. His metal arm was removed by the officers from County Mortal, but he doesn't mind.
He can't hurt anyone this way.
His head stays down as the weight bears down on him, but he slightly lifts his gaze as he hears echoed singing from above.
"They let the fireflies, guide their way,"
"Everything will be okay. Darling, everything will be okay,"
He manages a small smile and closes his eyes as he lets himself sing with them.
"...Home may be so far away,"
"Holding on, we have to have faith..."
He leans back against the wall without losing his smile.
"...To have faith."
Nisha smiles wider as everyone aboard the ship joins in and Colin makes his way over to her.
"And soon, the fireflies will guide our way,"
"Guide our way."
"Everything will be okay. Darling, everything will be okay,"
Colin's hand rests on her shoulder.
"Be okay."
When the singing stops, the silence is broken. She hears voices start talking to each other. She even sees a few smiles. But with it all,
She feels hope.
She turns her smiling gaze onto Colin to see that his attention is directed elsewhere. Following his gaze, she sees that Regan has gotten up and is slowly making his way towards the cabin.
Nisha moves to go after him, but Colin holds out his arm to stop her in her tracks.
________________________________
__________________
Cree keeps his head down, even after the singing has stopped. Amidst everything that's happened, it honestly feels nice to have even a few seconds of hope. Of hearing everyone united like that.
Despite his current position, he honestly has nothing to complain about. He would rather be where he is right now – restrained and separated from the people he loves, missing one arm, feeling guilt and fear eating away at him bit by bit – than to be back in the Bastion, serving The Director.
He hears the door to the cabin open and then close, making him tense and lower his gaze again at the footsteps that get closer and closer until they stop at the entrance of the dimly lit room, directly across from where he's restrained.
He was expecting more officers trying to question him, but lifting his gaze to the door, he freezes as he meets Regan's eyes. He stares at him for only a second – a second that felt like an eternity – before the guilt returns like a knife to his gut.
Cree quickly snaps his gaze away, trying to breathe steadily amidst the burning urge to break down sobbing or throw up the knots in his stomach. He tries to keep his trembling to a minimum, but even that's not enough to hide how terrified he feels.
He swallows back the lump in his throat and bites his tongue as he waits for Regan to say something. But as the time goes by filled with nothing but silence, he realizes that Regan probably isn't going to speak first.
Cree keeps his eyes locked on the floor as the thought of saying anything to Regan's face makes the pain in his heart strike him as if it's a physical wound. When push comes to shove, it's best he remains closed off to everyone. Even Regan. It's less painful that way.
"...Go ahead," he forces himself to speak. "...Ask your questions."
He holds his breath and closes his eyes again, when he hears a long sigh come from Regan and he takes a step into the room, stopping what he probably thinks is a safe distance away.
"...When I saw you up there, I had about a thousand questions that I was dying to know the answers to," his sigh is followed by a defeated, broken chuckle. "Yet now I can't think of a single one."
Hearing the pain in Regan's voice is worse than feeling his own pain in his heart. He tenses and weakly shakes his head, still not looking at him. "...Then why are you here?"
Regan lets out another sigh and Cree hears him walk across the room to look down at a lantern that's sitting on a table in the corner. "I don't know..." he slightly nods to himself before looking over at Cree again, seeing how he still refuses to look at him.
"I suppose I... was hoping that maybe you'd... be able to prove that you really are back." He hears Regan's footsteps resume and get closer, making his heartbeat drum painfully in his chest.
Regan kneels in front of him, still just trying to catch his gaze but Cree's eyes are shut tight and his body is frozen, but slightly shaking. "So I guess the only question I have is..." he looks down and starts rubbing his knuckles. "...How do I know this is really you? How can I be sure I can trust you again...?" his voice momentarily quivers but he does a far better job of keeping it together than Cree ever could.
Cree is fully aware of his presence directly in front of him, but he tries to block it out. He wants to beg for forgiveness. To show him how broken up he is inside. To break down sobbing with the hopes that he'll take him back.
But he knows he can't.
"...You're smart, Regan," he mutters, trying to stay quiet enough to not let him hear the tears building in his throat.
Regan weakly huffs with a small nod. "So I should be able to figure it out for myself."
"No," Cree shakes his head. The movement makes his trembling worsen but this time, he doesn't bother trying to stop it. All of his senses are screaming but he can't hear them with the loud drumming of his heart in his ears. All of his sense that tells him that looking at Regan would be a mistake. He shouldn't look him in the eyes.
But like an idiot, he does.
He meets Regan's gaze but he can't see him clearly for long as his vision blurs with tears. "...You should already know that you shouldn't trust me..." he forces himself to lower his head as his tears start rolling down his cheeks. "...Not after everything I've done..." he almost isn't able to get the statement out as he chokes over each word.
He lightly tugs on the rope restraining his only arm to the wooden post as he curls in on himself, trying to hide the streams of tears that escape his eyes. "...I hurt you... All of you..." he chokes over the air as he tries to breathe. "...I hated you. I... I wanted you dead..." He hits the back of his head against the wall and his breathing stammers.
"...You deserve better... Reela deserves better..."
Regan stares at him as he fights the way his body starts trying to break down. How he's struggling to breathe out of fear of sobbing. How he's trembling but trying to force himself to be still. How he's trying so hard to stop the tears from escaping his eyes, but he can't stop them now that they've started.
It hurts to see him this way. Especially because in that brief moment their eyes met, Regan could see how he's silently begging for forgiveness, despite what his words say. He had a thousand questions he wanted to ask, but after seeing his eyes, every single one had been answered.
With Cree, the more questions you ask, the less you're likely to learn.
"...Maybe you're right," Regan says softly. "...It... would be foolish to trust you..."
Cree tenses more and he tries to force himself to stop crying, but he knows that's probably not going to happen any time soon.
Regan takes a shuddering deep breath. "...But honestly... At this point...?" he weakly chuckles. Cree tries to steady his breathing, but he completely freezes when Regan takes a knife and cuts through the rope binding his arm and he grabs his wrist.
Cree finally looks at him in utter silence.
Regan shakes his head and smiles wistfully as his own tears start to fall.
"...Fuck common sense," he shakily drops the knife to grab Cree and pull him into his arms, holding him so tightly against himself that he's sure neither of them can breathe, but he doesn't let him go. Not for even a moment.
Cree just stays in his arms, frozen, as his mind races to catch up with what's happening. He feels Regan's arms holding him. A feeling he thought he would never experience again. How is this possible?
He closes his eyes as he waits to wake up from the dream, but when he doesn't, his body starts to tremble violently. His lungs begin to heave as his eyes flood with tears and he shakily wraps his only arm around Regan to tightly grip the back of his shirt as he sobs into his chest.
"...I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..." he chokes out past the waves of tears and he's almost certain Regan couldn't even hear him, but he keeps repeating himself over and over as Regan starts gently rocking him back and forth, hugging him tighter and he plants a firm kiss on the top of his head as he cries too.
"...You have nothing to be sorry for, my love..."
Hearing Regan call him that after everything that's happened is almost too much for him to take. He feels as if he might faint from all the sobbing and choking over his breath, but he doesn't care. All he cares about is this moment with Regan.
This is where he belongs.