Chapter 40: The Rise
His Past
I KEPT quiet as I stared at the heartbreaking scene in front of me. My mother, sitting beside a hospital bed, crying her whole heart out while looking at the man lying on the bed. I swallowed the big lump inside my throat as I quietly walked in.
The moment she heard my footsteps, she quickly turned her eyes on me and immediately wiped her tears away.
I looked at her with emotionless eyes. "Where am I going to place this?" I softly asked and lifted my right hand up carrying a basket full of flowers.
"Pakilagay nalang sa tabi, Hugh," she answered.
I quickly nodded and placed it on the table near them. Bumagsak ang aking tingin sa lalaking nakahiga sa kama. He was so pale and frail.
"I-Is he going to be okay?" mahina kong tanong.
I saw how my mother turned her head at me once again. Her eyes were full of pain and suffering.
"I don't really know, son. He still hasn't woken up from his coma," sagot ng aking nanay.
I nodded and looked down at her. I can feel my chest tightening just by looking at them.
My father and I weren't the closest ones. He's much closer to Hana and Harper, my two little twin sisters.
We were once a happy family. Not until we knew about him cheating. Apparently, he wasn't married to my mother. He already had multiple women that he was considering as his other wife.
My little sisters didn't really know about it. As their older brother, I witnessed everything from the very beginning.
Despite him cheating on our mother, he did support us financially. I'm guessing that's what he also does to his other families.
He's still my father, so it's just natural for me to feel broken because of his current state. Especially seeing my mother suffering because of it.
My mother loved him. So much. But, she still did what she needed to do. She never hesitated to break up with him when she knew about his affairs. Since they were really not married, even from the beginning of my mother's pregnancy, we all took her surname instead of our father's.
It was a smart move from her. Our father really didn't care. The only thing important to him was that we grew up knowing that he's our father.
"Hugh, c-can you please make a promise to me?" my mother's voice broke upon saying those words. "Please, aalagaan mo ang mga kapatid mo kapag nawala na ang tatay nila, ha? Be there for them, comfort them. They're still young..." nagmamakaawa nitong dagdag.
When our father died, we were the family that was with him. We were the ones who was in his burial.
I can feel my heart aching as I look at my sisters crying. Their eyebrows were furrowed while their whole face was covered with tears.
I swallowed the hard lump inside my throat and firmly held onto their hands. I kept on talking to them, assuring them that everything will be okay.
I was there to support and comfort them. My mother, my two sisters, and my grandparents. But no one was there for me.
I may have not been that close to my father, but I was still human. He was still my father. I was still a son, who lost a father.
My eyes were tightly closed while sitting down inside my dark room. Today's the day my father will be buried. I took in a deep breath as I felt my heart tightening even more.
No. I have to be strong. I can't cry. My mother and sisters still need me. I need to be the one who they can get strength from. Hindi pwedeng lahat kami ay panghihinaan ng loob.
Since then, I never let anyone feel what I felt.As long as I can comfort them, I will do it without even thinking twice. Ayaw kong maranasan nilang mag-isa sila, na walang tumutulong sa kanila.
If they need help, I can be the one who will help them. If they're feeling weak, I can be their strength. Because no one was there for me when I needed it the most.
My brows furrowed as I stared at the woman who was leaning on my shoulders. Despite the loud background music banging in my ears, I stayed focused, studying her features.
I've seen her before.
My heart beat faster upon realizing where I saw her from. My father's wallet. She had a picture in it when I saw it from his belongings.
Mabilis akong napatigil sa pagtitig sa kanya at napatingin sa babaeng dumating. Right. Her friend, Imogen.
Just like what I've always used to do, I helped them when I saw Imogen struggling. I was a bit worried that they might've thought of me as a creepy man, but she trusted me enough to even let me drop them off at her condo.
The desire within me to approach Nica was so strong. Maybe it was the kindness in me, or maybe... guilt that she might still not know what really happened to her father. Whatever it was, it pushed me to investigate more on her.
"Mom, our father had other kids, right?" dahan-dahan kong tanong sa nanay kong nakaupo sa harap ng lamesa.
Her forehead creased as she gave me a look, questioning me why I was suddenly so curious about our father's other families. It was a sensitive topic to all of us, especially to my mother.
It has already been four years since our father died. We can't just keep on ignoring it, or else, others will suffer. They should at least know what's the truth. They deserve nothing but the truth.
Four years have passed, and we had zero communication with any of his other children, even his other wives.
"Mom, we can't keep avoiding this topic. I saw one of them," makahulugan kong saad. My mother's eyes widened upon hearing me.
"You saw one of them? H-How?"
"I saw her picture once, in one of father's wallet. I recognized her from that," I quickly answered.
Even without my mother's permission to approach her, I did what I thought was the best. I can't sleep at night, knowing that one of my half-siblings may be suffering inside. My guilt could no longer take it.
But, I never knew that approaching my half sister would make me even closer to a woman I never thought I would be interested in.
The first time I heard about her from Imogen in the bar, she had a boyfriend. But, the second time I was with her, she was screaming her whole heart out, cursing her abusive ex.
So, they already broke up? And, it looked like it was a toxic relationship. Shouldn't she be glad that she's already out in that kind of relationship?
I stared at her for a few minutes, still lowkey listening to her rants. She's made quite an impression on me. I would never forget what she said to me in the bar.
The first time we met, she was shouting at me.
"Kuya, masyado kayong maingay! Masakit sa ulo, masakit sa ulo!"
Ah, those lines stuck with me. She was quite funny.
I wasn't wrong when I thought of her as an easy-going and bubbly person. Kulang na lamang ay sabihin ko agad ang rason sa kanya kung bakit kami nagkikita ni Nica. Pinipilit niya kasing may future kaming dalawa.
Future, huh? Yes, maybe, but only as siblings.
Nagsunod-sunod na ang pagkikita namin pagkatapos noon. We were really not the ones who planned it. It was more like a trip for a new building up couple, Imogen and Andre.
Nagpunta kami sa mall kasama ang mga kaibigan namin. I wasn't expecting to be with Jade at all, but I guess I was thankful I was by her side that time.
Her ex-boyfriend suddenly showed up, looking so disoriented and drunk.
It was like an instinct for me to help her. Jade is a friend to me. I want to help her the best that I can.
The moment his filthy hands touched Jade, I had this feeling to instantly protect her. I've only known her for a few days, yet I couldn't bear seeing her get hurt. Or maybe, I was just really like that for everyone.
I wasn't the violent type of guy. I've never been that kind of person. I always try to resolve it in a peaceful manner, but everything changed when she came, when everything became chaotic. Maybe, because of the distress I've been feeling at that time.
Hanging out with Jade did not feel like a duty at all. She's a fun woman. Whenever I hang out with her, it feels like time goes by so fast. Even though she was going through a lot, she never really showed it.
Not until I saw her getting drunk. Alcohol really is her worst enemy.
She can't hold her alcohol that good. She gets drunk fast.
The nights I was with her, I witnessed how much she really loved his past lover. I can see it. But, it sounded like she was describing his boyfriend from the past, and not how he was today.
More days passed until our paths once again crossed. I was just walking Hana's dog with me, when he suddenly peed on Jade. I felt so bad that I had to make it up to her or else I wouldn't be able to sleep peacefully.
I watched as she played catch with Archie. The sides of my lips started to curve upwards and I felt a happy feeling creeping up to my system.
"Catch, Archie!" malakas nitong sigaw at tinapon sa malayo ang kulay blue na laruan ni Archie.
I let out a soft laugh and bit my lower lip, stopping myself from grinning too much. Mabilis na kinuha noong aso 'yong laruan at binalik kay Jade.
Her eyes widened when Archie suddenly jumped on her. Narinig ko itong tumili dahilan para mataranta ako. I was about to run over to their direction when I heard her laughing.
I stared at them as Archie continuously licked her on her face. Pilit niyang pinapatigil si Archie habang malakas na tumatawa. I didn't notice that I was already smiling just by seeing them having fun.
My heart started to race that made me stop from my tracks. I kept on breathing heavily, trying to control what I was feeling.
No. I can't like her. She's still going through a lot. I am not allowed to like her yet.
I had no issues giving out a hand to her. She was so desperate to get over her ex. So, I did what I can do best. To help her, but only as a friend.
At first, I really only wanted to help her as a friend. But, I just suddenly found myself seeking for more... Not just as a friend. I want her to see me more than that. As a man, willing to wait for her and help her.
But, I only told her that I wanted to help her only as a friend because I don't want to make her confused. If anything in this world, I would want nothing more but for her to move on from her past. I want to see her genuinely happy.
So, I wouldn't even hesitate to trade my own feelings just for her happiness. If hiding my feelings for her is what it would take for her to heal, then I will.
I was waiting for the corndog I ordered to get finished when I suddenly heard footsteps coming to my direction. Napatingin ako sa gawing iyon at nakita si Archie na tumatakbo palapit sa akin.
"Archie!" Jade shouted as the dog ran to me.
Jade didn't let go of the leash. The dog suddenly stopped and barked at me. Nanlalaki ang mga mata ni Jade na tumingin sa akin at pilit na pinigilang hindi masubsob ang sarili sa akin.
Pinagalitan pa ni Jade nang sandali si Archie bago ako hinarap. My eyebrows raised when she suddenly blurted out something very random.
"Amoy baby ka, 'no?"
I awkwardly laughed. "Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"
Do I smell bad? I tried a new cologne and since we were just going to the park, I decided to go for a milder smell. Does she like the manly scent I usually wear? It didn't feel like it was appropriate for a park though.
"I-It's a good thing! Bagay nga sa'yo 'yong amoy... I prefer that much more than the manly scent you always wear. Hindi masyadong masakit sa ilong, fresh lang, ganoon," makulit niyang sagot.
I felt my heart double its pace as I stared at her. Does she like this? I'll always wear this then...
Days passed and we continued hanging out with each other. Whenever our work ends, we always find ourselves by each other's side.
Napatigil ako sa paglalakad papunta sa condo ni Jade nang makakita ako ng lalaking nakatambay sa labas noon. His hair was disheveled, his eyes looked sleepy, and he reeked of alcohol.
His eyes diverted from the door of Jade's condo to me. Kumunot ang noo nito pero mabilis lang din iyong nawala. I heard him let out a soft laugh as he walked a bit closer to me.
My eyes widened upon realizing who he was. I quickly gave out my hand to him.
"Good evening po, Sir," magalang kong bati sa kanya.
It's Jade's father. I've met him a couple of times already.
Nanatiling nakaangat ang aking kamay sa ere habang nakatingin ito doon. He let out a laugh and shook my hand.
"Kung siniswerte nga naman," mahina nitong bulong sa kanyang sarili.
Binalewala ko ang sinabi nito. "Do you need Jade po? She's still downstairs. I think she'll be here in a fe—"
I was cut off when his gaze suddenly met mine. He coughed and immediately let go of my hands. Pasimple itong tumabi sa akin at tinapik pa ako sa likuran.
"Hindi, hindi. Tutal ikaw na naman ang nandito, baka naman pwede akong makahingi ng pabor?" tanong nito. "Kailangan ko na kasi ng pera. Naaawa din naman ako sa anak ko, baka napapasobra na ako ng hingi sa kanya. Baka naman pwede mo akong bigyan?"
I didn't even hesitate in giving him money. He's the father of Jade. I just can't let him roam around without any money. I won't immediately run out of it if I were to help him a few more times.
He immediately left after getting the bills from me. I just let him and went inside Jade's condo. I started to place down the food that we bought on top of the kitchen counter when I heard the doorbell ring.
With a small smile written on my face, I marched towards the door and wasn't disappointed to see Jade. But, my smile immediately faded when I noticed her face.
Mabilis na kumunot ang aking noo sa nakita. My heart started to beat faster. "What happened, Jade? Did you cry?" I asked her.
She continued to stare at me, pity was written all over her face. What happened?
I lifted my hands and slowly held her on her arms, trying my best to not scare her. "Anong nangyari, Jade?" I seriously asked.
When she still didn't answer me, I softly pulled her inside her condo and closed the door behind her. What happened to her? Why does she look like she's suffering?
I walked back to her and faced her. "Hugh, bakit mo binibigyan ng pera si Papa?" bigla nitong tanong.
My eyes widened when I heard her question. My heart started to beat faster as I silently panicked inside. Looking at her reaction, she didn't seem pleased with what I did.
I tried to mask the fear and shock on my face and just held her on the hand. I lightly pulled her with me, towards the kitchen. "Let's eat first, Jade."
"Hugh, hindi mo dapat siya binibigyan!" malakas nitong sigaw sa akin.
I was shocked by how furious she got because of it. I didn't expect her to be that angry just because I helped her father.
I tried my best to calm her, but I wasn't successful. Something must've happened in the past that made her react like that. And, I respect it if she doesn't want me to do it anymore.
My heart melted when I saw pain and sorrow in her eyes upon mentioning someone. She kept on saying that she doesn't want me to be like someone. Ayaw niya akong matulad sa kanya.
Instead of her staying angry at me, I was taken aback when she suddenly asked me why I kept on giving her father money.
I swallowed the big lump inside my throat as I stared at her.
"Bakit mo siya binigyan, Hugh? Hindi mo siya kaano-ano..." she whispered.
I cleared my throat and avoided her gaze. I can't tell her my real reason! If I really look at it, I really don't give out money just like that! Yes, I've helped other people, but not in that kind of way.
"He's your father, Jade. I can't just let your father roam around without any money," I answered, hoping that it would be enough reason for her.
I-It should be enough reason, right? That's what friends do, right...?
When I briefly looked at her, she was already raising her eyebrow at me. I once again avoided her gaze and cleared my throat.
"Hugh," seryoso niyang pagtawag sa aking pangalan.
I once again swallowed the big lump inside my throat while I can feel her walking closer to me. She looked straight into my eyes that made me more nervous.
Damn! I don't intend to get caught like this! I didn't prepare to confess my feelings for her this early! I can't. She still needs to move on. I told myself that I'll wait for her until she's ready.
I nervously licked my lips and let out a sigh. My heart was beating so fast. She's so close to me, I can smell her scent from our distance. Plus the fact that I'm literally cornered, I can no longer think of anything but to confess my feelings for her.
"Jade," kabado kong pagtawag sa kanya. I took in a deep breath and mustered all of the courage inside my body. "Because I think I'm starting to like you, Jade. How could I let the father of the person I like roam around without any money?"
She didn't believe me. I didn't expect her to not believe me. Did I look like I was kidding when I said it? I was serious though?
She disregarded all of the things I said and instead told me that we should eat. I stared at her while she was eating the meal we bought.
The dim lights inside her condo were hitting her face, highlighting her beautiful features more. Her dark wavy brown hair, the pointy tip of her average nose, and her dark brown almond eyes. I can feel the beat of my heart doubling just by staring at her. Damn, I really like her.
I felt how my chest tightened upon realizing that she was acting strange around me. It hasn't even been a full hour after I confessed to her, yet I can already notice that she's not acting the way she used to.
She just kept on eating, quietly, which wasn't like her. I let out a heavy sigh and looked down on my food.
"Please, don't act weird around me just because I said what I feel for you. If you're just going to treat me differently, then just pretend that you didn't hear anything," I seriously said and started eating.
This is why I didn't want to confess to her yet! I don't want us to be awkward! I know what she's been through and I just wanted to help her as a friend!
"Bakit, Hugh? I mean, alam mo naman ang sitwasyon ko..." she whispered.
I looked back at her. "I didn't want to like you at first, Jade. Trust me, I don't know either," walang emosyon kong sagot.
If only I could stop myself from falling for her, I would.
But, how can I do that when she's just too charming? Her bubbly and funny personality that first hooked me to her. I spent more time with her and got to know her more. And... I just fell. Hard.
So hard that I was willing to risk everything for her. Even if I knew that I would get hurt.
"Hugh, alam mo naman siguro kung anong consequences noong gusto mo, 'di ba? In the first place, someone using someone, sounds wrong and it is definitely wrong. Tapos, baka mamaya, abusuhin ko pa kabaitan mo. I mean, hindi ko naman 'yon gagawin pero, sinasabi ko lang ang pwedeng mangyaring worst case scenario. Tapo—"
I kept quiet as I stared at her blabber all of the things she wants to say. Para bang naipon niya ang lahat ng iyon sa mga araw na hindi kami nagkita.
"Jade, I know the worst case scenario already. And, is it really wrong if I'm the one who's offering myself to you?"
"Pero kasi, Hugh—"
"You might use me and when you've already moved on, you can just throw me away. I know, Jade. And, I am willing to risk experiencing that," I said, once again cutting her off.
I don't care anymore. I don't care if I get hurt or not.
"Seryoso ka ba talaga dyan?" ulit niya.
I silently laughed inside my head. I've never been sure of my life. If ever I get hurt, I will get hurt for her.
"I'm serious, Jade. And, don't ask me like the kiss didn't happen. Because, I won't. So, use me, Jade. Use me to move on from your ex," I firmly said.
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—zχαnтℓуχ