"Y-You have a son?" I asked through a breathless whisper while looking intently at him.
He's staring back at me. For a split second, I saw fright in his eyes other than darkness and anger. But just before I could ponder it, he pulled his gaze away and looked down the floor.
"Yes."
What else do I need to know about Chase? Why do I have this feeling that there are so much more to him that I need to be aware of? I feel like there is always something for me to discover with him every passing day.
I mean, I know it's normal to have a child. But having a child means there is a mother. Is he on a relationship with the mother of his child? Is he already married? Then what does that make me?
"Don't jump into conclusions yet, Allison." he said like he could read the thoughts in my head.
"D-Do you have a wife?"
He looked at me before his lips lifted for a naughty smirk.
"What if I have, would you leave me?"
I laughed sarcastically. "What kind of question is that, Chase? Of course. I was not raised to be a home wrecker—"
"You won't ruin anything, Allison. I'm not married neither committed to anyone else. . ." he said and breathed out, his caramel orbs drilling into mine. "At least not yet."
"So how did it happen?"
He averted his eyes from me again, stood up and slowly walked towards the window where the strong wind is coming in.
"It's just a one-night stand and I got her pregnant. As simple as that. We had an agreement that I would support my child financially. I'll be a father to our son without having a relationship with her. It's a done deal. Or so I thought . . ." he chuckled dryly.
As I sat on the bed and watched his bare back, I noticed his fists clenching. He's mad and I can hear it through his deep voice. It's like he's refraining himself from getting mad. Something was holding him back.
"She let me see my son a few times after she gave birth to him. A fucking few times, Allison. Until she decided to be with somebody else and bring my son with her. He hid my son from me for years and until now she hasn't allowed me to see him."
"Do you have any idea where they are? Haven't you tried hiring an investigator to look for them?"
"You think I didn't do that? During those years that I'm not allowed to see him I tried to look for them. I don't give a shit about the mother. She could be with anyone she wants for all I fucking care. I just care about my son. But the bitch knew how to play hide and seek."
"Was she the one who called you just now?"
He nodded but did not answer. It made me wonder why she suddenly initiated to contact Chase. What could be her reason? Isn't she hiding to Chase?
"For whatever reason why she called me after of so many years, she has to assure me that it has something to do with my son, Allison."
I honestly don't know what to say. I feel like I have to very cautious of my response because it might trigger something to him.
"H-How old is he, Chase?" I asked, not minding what he said.
"Four or five, I lost count."
I nodded even if he doesn't see me. I looked down my hands, clutching the white sheet for I don't know what to say anymore.
"How are you feeling about this, Allison?" he asked.
I looked up to him. He's still facing the sea until he turned around. Our eyes met.
"Turn off? A man with a mental disorder and a child with another woman. Would you still choose to stay with me? Do you still like me?"
I smiled sparingly. I admit I was surprised when I found out that he has a child. But for me, nothing is more surprising than the fact that he is going through the struggles of battling his medical condition.
"I accepted you despite the dark past you've been through, having a child wouldn't change a thing. I don't see anything wrong with that." I answered before bowing my head down, I suddenly felt embarrassed. "Just promise me. . ."
"Promise you what?" he asked.
Just before I could give him an answer, I saw him walking towards me. Our eyes met and I saw how dark his stare is despite the serious façade. He squatted in front of me, held my hand and gave them a feathery kiss.
"What's your condition, baby? Hmm?"
I swallowed slowly and looked into his eyes. "Just promise me you are not married and you won't make me a mistress."
He chuckled. He looks so amused by my answer.
"You will never be a mistress, Allison." He leaned towards me and gave me a gentle peck on my lips. He leaned his forehead against mine while looking deeply into my eyes. "You will be the first... the legal and only one."
My heart flutter at that as I feel the butterflies in my stomach be at turmoil at the same time. I know Chase has always been vocal to me ever since I met him. That's just, his words hit me differently at this moment. I would love to believe and be blown away by his words.
I accept Chase, flaws and all. No matter how many personas he has, even if he has a mental disorder. I feel that they will not affect how I feel towards him. I even feel like I'm starting to love him for what he is. I don't feel disgusted with his situation. I don't feel off, doesn't matter if he has a son.
If by any chance, he also developed deep feelings for me and his relationship with his son improve, then I would be the first one to be happy about it. If he asks me to accept his son, I will gladly do so.
Some may find my mindset and decision crazy or nonsense but it is what it is. I choose to fall for Chase Saavedra and all of his personalities. I choose to accept him for who he is no matter how ugly and cruel his past is.
That's love anyway — it can make you stupid in a just a snap of your fingers . . . but it can also make you genuinely happy regardless of the stupid decisions you made.
"Aunt Tanya, can you please play with me?" Reil asked while we are both sitting on the sofa.
He is playing the Play Station that Rich left for him. I'm sitting beside him because I'm busy with reading about Chase's Dissociative Identity Disorder. I've been reading for a couple of hours already, watching some documentaries about his condition but I feel like it's not enough. I feel like there's still so many things I have to know.
"Hold on, Reil, I'll just have to finish this." I said without looking at him.
"You've been busy ever since you came home, Aunt Tanya. Are you okay?"
I raised my head to look at him. I saw him looking at me, worry etched on his face. I gave him a small smile.
"I'm okay Reil. I just really need to finish this as this is important. We'll play after I'm done."
He gave me a warm smile and nodded his head.
"Sure, Aunt Tanya."
Ever since Chase and I got home from Siargao, he has never left my mind. I'm honestly worried about him. He would be alone again, he'll go back to work and get himself busy. What if at those times his condition got triggered? I know that he's been dealing with it for years and for sure, he already knows how to handle it. But I don't think it's enough. I want him to be well, I want him to live like a normal person.
I've met few of his personalities yesterday. The playful and dominant Allistair, the little boy Richard and Samantha . . . the woman inside him. I'm not sure how many personas does he have that I will have to meet. I'm just relieved that despite of being nervous meeting them for the first time, I managed to get along with them just fine.
Psychotherapy — that's the only cure for his disorder. He can stop his other personalities from stealing the light from him. The only thing he needs to do is to surround himself by happy people. There are certain things that can trigger those alter to come back like seeing something or someone from his traumatic past. As much as possible, I hope he never sees anything that will trigger his alters. I will make sure he can get away with his condition. No matter how long it takes, I will still do everything for him to be better.
"Can we have lunch together today?" Chase asked on the other line, while I'm cleaning.
"Sure. What's up?"
I sat on the sofa and took a deep breath. Every time he has a free time at work he never fails to check up on me, may it be a text or a call. I wanted to ask him how he's doing because it has been several days since we last saw each other.
"It's been days since the last time we saw each other and I'm missing you so bad."
I smiled. "It's okay, you can drop by anytime."
"I'll cook for you. What do you want?"
"Anything is fine."
"Right. I'll fetch you by eleven."
I immediately prepared after his call. It's almost eleven and I'm sure he'll be here any minute from now. it's a good thing my mom brought Reil with her at the market. They brought some things needed in the house. I did not go with them and said I will be cleaning the house instead. I'll just text her about this sudden plan.
"Are you done cooking?" I asked Chase when we enter his house.
I thought was that we would go to his penthouse because that's what was where we did his painting. I didn't know he owns a house here in Ayala, this is more beautiful and definitely bigger than that.
Chase no wonder is filthy rich. From his appearance, cars and houses alone, there is no doubt that he belongs to the elite class. It is just sad that despite the luxury in life that he has, he is going through something dark.
"Yeah. I am not sure if you'll like it though."
I chuckled while we pass by the living room. The walls of his house are made of glass. The furniture is all white and black which are his favorite colors.
"I told you anything is fine with me."
I accidentally glanced at the picture on one of the shelves near the stairs. I looked at the pictures there. I suddenly stopped on my tracks when I saw a familiar face.
Holding a beach ball, a little boy who looks very familiar was smiling wildly. His caramel orbs were the first thing I noticed.
"R-Reil . . ." I whispered to myself, heart pounding erratically as I was suddenly glues to where I am while still looking at the picture.
"That was me when I was young." I heard Chase said beside me.
It was as if a bomb had exploded in my chest when I heard that from him. He said he was that boy in the picture? Why does he look like Azriel?
That boy in my dreams who I thought was Reil, was it Chase?
And looking at the picture, I can see their strong resemblance, it means there is a high probability that they both have a connection with each other.
I faced Chase, my lips are shaking as my hands are cold and trembling. I looked at him. Different conclusions running in my head that I don't know where to start.
"Y-You. . ." I whispered.
He looked at me, brows furrowed and confusion is evident on his face.
"What's wrong?" he asked, obviously clueless.
"Y-You. . . It's you Chase. You're the little boy who saved me before?"