♡ Alaiya's POV: ♡
Why would Roman lie to me about not answering my text or call when he's out late at night?
My mind has been on overdrive ever since we spoke this morning, and I don't know what to do. Should I confront him about it? Should I not make a big deal out of it? Am I being dramatic? Am I overthinking? I don't want to bring my past trust issues into my healthy relationship, but this situation is not helping.
I dropped Autumn off at school and got home to Dayton wanting breakfast which I made for him. Then I fed Aubrey and changed her diaper after bathing her, and right after, I had to go grocery shopping. Roman watched the kids while I was gone, and the entire car ride I contemplated what I should do. Roman texted that he was going to pick up Autumn, so I took a little bit of extra time at the grocery store, looking at random things so I didn't have to think about the elephant in the room.
No, this isn't the type of person I am anymore. I'm not going to just sit here while Roman is keeping something from me and pretend like it doesn't affect me. Yes, it may be a small thing to other people, but I know firsthand how small things can turn big.
I get home, gathering every confident bone I have in my body so I can actually talk to Roman about this like a mature person.
"Dad! I said I wanted the pink dress!" Autumn complains while holding up her Barbie whose in a peach-colored dress.
"What the hell is that then?" Roman asks, confused for his life.
"It's peach," she says in a duh voice.
"What's the fucking difference?"
I shut the door behind me while carrying in a few bags of groceries, and the minute Roman hears me come in, he stands up after telling Autumn that he'll be right back and takes the bags from my arms while giving me a "Welcome home" kiss.
"Mom, why did you marry someone who can't tell the difference between colors?" Autumn asks me with concern for Roman.
"He was the only one available." I lift a shoulder jokingly, making her smile.
A pinch lands on the side of my stomach and I ow as I look up at his glaring face, rubbing the spot with my hand. He kisses the top of my head though right after to apologize for pinching me. I cut the butterflies that come along with the kiss short because of what I have to talk to him about. I can't do it now though since the kids are around, so I wait until tonight when they'll be asleep.
Roman helps me put all the groceries away, and until the sun sets, we give all our attention to the kids. We watched a movie, played games, and then ended up going out for ice cream since it was a hot day today. I get a coffee flavor that Roman said he wouldn't eat, but has eaten every bite that I've held up to his mouth, Autumn gets strawberry, Dayton gets chocolate, and Aubrey plays with a spoon.
All of the kids are exhausted from today which is why I put them to sleep right when we got home. Even though I've been waiting for this moment, I've also been dreading it because I absolutely hate confrontations.
"Roman," I call as I walk to the basement to see if he's in his office.
I don't see him anywhere here so I walk back up the stairs, only to find him talking on the phone in the sunroom. Keep in mind, that we never go inside the sunroom unless we have a huge gathering or party. So why didn't he just take the phone call out in the open like he usually does? Why is he being so secretive all of a sudden with who he's on the phone with?
"...I have to go. I'll meet you there." He turns off the screen right when he sees me.
"Who was that?" I try to ask in the most casual way possible.
"Rider. He needs me to meet him at the office again." He walks past me to most likely grab his keys and wallet.
Say something!
I follow behind him, the nervous butterflies destroying my stomach with anxiety.
"Roman," I say without thinking of what I'm going to do.
"Yeah?" He turns around to answer me.
You know, maybe I should've rehearsed this before. Good going Alaiya!
"I umm...."
Think, think, think!
"I put your shoes next to the garage door and not on the shoe rack because I was cleaning it."
Nice. Not only am I the dumbest human to ever exist, but I also can't think of a good lie on the spot when I'm trying to cover up the fact that I am dumb.
Roman oh's, giving me a confused look because I did call his name a little aggressively.
He walks over and puts his shoes on before walking back to kiss me like he always does whenever one of us goes somewhere without the other.
"I love you."
I swallow the lump in my throat. "I love you too." Translation: I love you and I don't want you lying to me.
He walks out the door, leaving me with only my wandering and chaotic thoughts.
~~~~
Maybe he's taking a painting class and he doesn't want me to know because he thinks painting's for losers even though it's not. Maybe he was actually working and I'm just wrong. Phones change, right? Maybe there was an update where the ring goes three times if the phone is turned off. No Alaiya. You can't do the same thing you did with Carson. You made multiple excuses for him when you knew inside and out that he wasn't doing the right thing. Well, he was hitting you so mostly on the out, but that's beside the point.
I'm not repeating my mistakes. Roman's obviously not doing anything near what Carson is doing, but lying is still not okay.
I stop pacing in the living room, take out my phone, and call Roman. If he answers and says he's at work, I'll believe him and then I'll ask him where he was last time. If he doesn't answer...let's just hope he answers.
The fourth ring goes through this time and right then the call is rejected, going straight to voicemail.
Okay, if Roman was in my position and I was rejecting his call, he would call whoever I was with, right? Is this me being crazy? What if he really is working?
Okay, here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to call Rider, and ask him if he's with Roman. Rider will say yes, and I'll tell him to tell Roman to bring home some food as a cover-up. Then Roman will get home, I'll explain myself, and all will be right with the world.
Perfect.
I hover my thumb over Rider's contact, scared for my life at this very moment.
I hit the name.
The call is going through.
The first ring.
The second ring.
"Rider residence, how may we be at your service?" Rider says into the phone.
"Hi-."
"Grayson! We don't hang or swing from the curtains," he out of nowhere yells.
He's talking to Grayson? That means he's at home. So Roman did lie to me.
Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry.
"Hey, sorry, I think I'm raising a pack of hyenas. Oh wait, those make weird noises. I'm raising a pack of wolves. That's the right saying." His confusion about these types of things usually makes my mood turn right around, but not this time. "Alaiya? You still there?"
I snap out of it, sniffing back the frightened tears in my eyes.
I know I'm being over-dramatic, but how am I supposed to feel when Roman told me he was going to the office to work with Rider and he's not with him and is also rejecting my calls? We've never had an instance where one of us has lied about where the other person is. I don't know how to feel about it.
"Alaiya, are you okay?" Rider's voice turns soft. "I can be there in a couple of minutes if something's wrong."
"No." I smile, hoping it'll reach across the line. "I just wanted to ask if Hope wanted to have a play date with Autumn sometime next week. She already misses her." My laugh is forced.
"Oh, yeah. Hope was just talking about going to the park with Autumn. I'll confirm with Beth and I'll let you know," he says, but I can still hear the wariness in his voice.
"Okay, sounds good. I have to go out with Roman right now so I'll see you later," I say, praying there's a chance he'll say something about how Roman is with him so it'd be impossible for him to be with me.
"You guys should go to this restaurant that Beth and I went to a few nights ago. I'll send you the address," he speaks enthusiastically, shutting down all hope I had.
I stay quiet before saying okay and telling him goodbye after he sends me the address to the place he wants us to go to.
I wait in Roman and I's bedroom.
I pick at my fingernails.
I bounce my leg while sitting on the bed.
I stand back up.
I pace around the room.
Usually, I'm in bed by this time because I get tired easily, but it's almost two a.m. and I've never felt more awake in my entire life. I don't think I'd be able to fall asleep even if I tried.
The sound of the garage opening is heard-my heart beating at a pace that I didn't even know was possible. Now I wish I had fallen asleep, but the anger in my body says otherwise.
I don't even wait for him in our bedroom which was the original plan. I take a minute or two to take deep breaths before walking down the steps. When I reach the middle floor, I see him getting water out of the fridge. He turns around right when he hears me.
"What are you still doing up?" he questions with a smile on his face, shutting the fridge door behind him.
I feel the bile rise to my throat, but I don't waste any more time.
"Where were you?" I cross my arms against my chest as a defense mechanism so I don't seem weak or hopefully, my voice won't crack.
He raises an eyebrow. "I told you, I was with Ri-."
"Roman, I'm being serious. Where were you? Because I called Rider and he was at home so I know you weren't with him."
Just keep holding your head up, Alaiya. Don't let him see you breaking.
Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry.
I can't tell if Roman looks more caught or scared. Either way, I know I've never seen that look on his face before.
"Alaiya-." His face turns apologetic, and that is not helping in this situation.
"Roman, either you fucking tell me where you've been or I'm going to make up things in my mind and I promise you, it's going to make this whole thing a lot worse," I warn, the tears rising to my eyes again, but I do my best to stop them by blinking fast.
He stays quiet as he looks down at the floor, debating with himself whether he should tell me the truth or not.
He can't be serious.
"Were you with someone else?" I finally ask the question that's been bothering me deep down.
His expression turns into disgust instantly. "What?! Hell no!"
"Well, what else do you want me to think? You lie to me about who you're on the phone with, you hang up right when I enter the room, and you go out and lie, saying you're working when really you're not. What would you think if you were in my position!" my voice rises, but I'm trying my hardest to keep the volume in reach of only us so I don't wake up the kids.
"I'm not seeing or doing anything with anyone else, Alaiya. I would never do that," he makes it very clear to me as he steps forward, but I take a step back right as he does.
He pauses, hurt an almost immediate reaction as if I've done the one thing that makes this argument turn into an argument.
"Where were you?" I push past the ache I felt from his facial expression.
He stays quiet again.
If he would've told me something, anything, it would've been much better than this. This makes me feel like he actually has something to hide. I'm mad at the unknown and that's what hurts the most. And the worse part is that I still love him unconditionally. Usually, when you get in a fight with someone about something like this, you start hating or disliking them, but that's not the case here.
Stupid love.
"Fine, then you can sleep on the couch." The minute those words leave my lips, my heart shatters with guilt because I wouldn't wish his nightmares on my worst enemy, especially on the man that I love with everything in me. But I still say it because I'm selfish. Because if he wasn't doing anything bad, why wouldn't he just tell me? Why would he keep it a secret? I have enough dignity for myself now that if someone I love, especially someone I love as much as I love Roman would betray me like this, then I'm standing my ground and I'm not getting pushed around because of how much I care about people. If that's selfish, then that's what I am.
I see the pure flash of hundreds of different emotions go across his eyes.
And with those sets of words, I leave him alone as I head back to our bedroom.
That's when I finally let the tears and sobs I've been holding back fall, unable to hold them in any longer.
♥ ★ ❦ ✱ ♥
Word Count: 2380
*Please tell me if there are any errors.